Aiden wasn't aware of how much he had begun to measure the duration of her silences with him.
The gaps between her replies.
The moments she took to a glance at her phone prior to locking eyes with him.
The way her laughter once flowed so effortlessly but now sounded distracted, distant, like a part of her had already left his side for good.
It had been a week since she told him about applying for the language program in Seoul. It had been a week since she had shown him that email draft, trembling in excitement, her voice shaking between hope and fear and something unspoken.
Aiden smiled. Of course he had to, because what else was he supposed to do when the person he loved and cherished so deeply, was building a dream that didn't include him at all.
He reminded himself that he was happy for her. That her happiness alone meant everything for him. He repeated it so many times that he nearly convinced himself.
But each evening when he walked back home past the old bookstore near the corner of the silent street, the one they'd visit after class everyday, he couldn't help but glance at its windows. She had once mentioned it reminded her of the type of bookstore in her dreams. The same dream she told him about, the one where she met Evan.
That realization stung more than he ever wanted to admit.
He pushed his hands into the pockets of his black leather jacket and the cool evening air brushed against his face. The city felt heavier lately, as if everything he knew was slowly vanishing.
He ached with nothing but emptiness. The possibility of Laura drifting away from him created a void in his heart.
A void only she could fill.
When he arrived at the cafe, he spotted her sitting inside, her laptop open, papers all over the place. He nearly turned around, he had been dreading moments like this, moments that made it harder for him to keep pretending,but she just happened to glance up and her smile caught him off guard.
"Aiden!" she waved, asking for him to him in.
He hesitated for a heartbeat before entering.
She looked radiant, tired but glowing in that quiet, purposeful way. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun, and her fingers were stained with ink from her notes. There was a spark in her eyes that hadn't been there months ago. It should've made him proud. Instead, it twisted something inside him.
"You've spent all day buried in this stuff again, haven't you?" he asked, getting into the seat beside her, as he slightly ruffled her hairs.
She used to love those small affectionate touches from him, but now they didn't seem to affect her in any way anymore.
She nodded, smiling. "I think I finally got the essay done for my scholarship application. Took ages, but I'm proud of it."
"Get a break, will you?", he told her, mocking her. But as he watched her pursue her dreams that involved someone else, not him, he saw his heart sink deeper and deeper into nothingness. He almost couldn't bear losing her to someone else who didn't even know her existence.
"Nope", she grinned.
He leaned closer to her face, observing her. "Can I read it?"
Their faces were only inches apart now. His warm breath almost brushing her cold and pale skin. Aiden's gaze locked with hers, one eyebrow slightly raised, teasingly. For the first time in a while, Laura really looked at him at the sharp lines of his face, the quiet confidence in his eyes.
A nervous gulp escaped her as the tensionbetween them thickened.
He was doing it on purpose. He felt selfish trying to make her feel some type of way when she was already head over heels for someone else. Giving himself a chance for once felt justice to him so that he doesn't regret later.
But could he?
Could he make her heart race the way Evan did so effortlessly?
Or were those feelings never meant for him at all?
She stiffened for a moment. "It's… kind of personal."
"I thought we didn't keep secrets", he said with a small smile.
Her lips parted as if she was going to justify, but she laughed softly instead. "Okay. Just don't judge."
"I never did."
He grabbed her laptop and began reading.
It wasn't just an essay, it was her. Each sentence of the paragraph bled with honesty. She spoke of wanting to see herself in a world bigger than her own, of feeling small but tough enough to give it a try anyway. And then, buried in the middle of a paragraph, he found the words that made his heart drop.
>"Sometimes inspiration hits you from the people who never meant to change your life. From a person you admire from a great distance, someone who reminds you what dreaming is all about."
He didn't need to ask her who she was talking about.
When he glanced up, she was gazing out the window, her mind a thousand miles away, focused on him and his world.
"Laura…" he started, but she turned around too fast, eyes shining.
"What do you think?" she asked eagerly.
He forced a smile. "It's… perfect. You'll get in for sure."
Her face lit up, and she reached over to squeeze his hand. "You always know what to say."
He didn't pull away, even though his chest ached from the warmth of her touch. He just wanted to hug her once, tell her how he feels but just couldn't do so.
"Yeah", he said quietly, "I guess I do."
***
The next day, Aiden was at the dance studio longer than he ever had been. He gave himself over to practice until his body cried out, until pain in his muscles drowned out the pain in his chest.
It didn't help much, though.
When the teacher said it was time for a break, he sat against the mirrored wall, scrolling through his phone out of habit. He didn't intend to open Instagram, did not intend to glance, but he did.
And there it was again.
Laura's post. A photo of her study desk, her notes scattered around it, captioned: "Some dreams are worth the wait."
And right below it—
Liked by lee.evan_official.
His heart dropped.
He stared at the screen, feeling that familiar sting of helplessness. He had been beside her in every step of the life, through her breakdowns, her doubts, her lonely nights. And yet one man's digital gesture from miles away could undo everything he had built all these years.
It wasn't fair. But love rarely was.
He closed his phone and buried his head in his hands. Laughter echoed in the practice room from the other dancers, the sound cold and distant. He was a ghost in his own life— visible but unseen.
When he finally arrived home later that evening, Laura stood outside his apartment door.
"You weren't answering my calls", she said with a scowl.
"Are you alright?"
"Just tired", he replied monotonously.
"You're upset."
"I said I'm fine."
She crossed her arms around her chest. "You're lying."
He looked her in the eye, something inside him lashing out. "Maybe I am. Maybe I'm sick of acting like everything is okay when it's clearly not."
Her face softened, confusion mixing with concern. "Aiden… what's going on?"
He laughed cynically and looked up,closing his eyes for a couple of seconds, then back at her, "You don't know?"
"Know what?"
"That it hurts", he said softly.
"Seeing you chase someone who doesn't even know you, while I'm always right here, every damn day , trying not to say the wrong thing because I know it won't make any difference anymore."
"Do you even see me anymore Laura?"
"Aiden, listen to m—"
"You are all about him now and it hurts insanely."
The silence that followed was defeaning.
Laura's lips parted, yet no words escaped. Her eyes glittered, as if she wanted to say something but didn't know how to begin.
"I didn't mean to—"
"I know you didn't", he interrupted quickly, his head shaking.
"You never do. That's what makes it harder."
He turned away, his breath shaking. "You have this way of lighting up everything around you, Laura. And maybe I was foolish enough to believe that meant something. But I see now. You've already made your choice."
She reached towards him cupping his face, "Aiden, don't do this—"
He looked into her eyes, soft brown locking with uncertain blue, and smiled sadly.
"You don't have to fix this. I just needed you to know." He said as he removed her hands from his face and walked past her, each step heavier than the last. And the tears falling that he had been protesting against all this time.
Laura stood there in the hallway long after he was gone, her throat tight, her heart twisting in confusion.
She hadn't realized until that moment how much he hadbeen holding back.
How much he cared.
How much he had hidden behind his cheerful laughter.
And as the night went on quietly around her, she felt the distance between them growing for the first time, not measured in miles, but in feelings left unsaid.
***
That night, she wrote in her journal:
>"Love isn't always about who you run towards. Sometimes, it's about who keeps standing still while you don't."
And somewhere in the city, Aiden sat by himself, re-reading the old texts between him and her."
Wishing, just once, she'd look back. At him for once.