Whilst Sam was at his apartment, Aubrey was with one of their friends.
"So Aubrey, you got a girlfriend now, right?" A friend asked. He was a man of average height, with a pretty good face. His most standout features being his bright blue eyes, thick eyelashes and well-sculpted features.
"Yeah," Aubrey answered, meeting up with his friend at their campus' fitness center. "What did you call me out here for?"
"Well, y'know, since you're the only one of us who has a girlfriend, and you wouldn't laugh at me like the others… I was just wondering if you could help me with this one girl I like."
Aubrey's eyes widened in surprise as he leaned against a wall, crossing his arms. "Wait, for real? You need me to help you?"
"Well, yeah. You obviously have the experience, plus if I told everyone else, they'd make it a super big deal, and I wanna keep it on the down low."
Aubrey nodded his head, affirming his request before getting off the wall. "Alrighty then. Well, you're a handsome guy, and that's not me just hyping you up—I'm being for real. So if you just ask her out calmly, you should get her to say yes."
"Eh? Are you serious?"
"Dude, look in the mirror. Who do you even want to get anyways?"
"The girl a few rows ahead of us."
"Be more specific."
The friend took out his phone and showed Aubrey a picture of the woman taken from her social media. If Aubrey were single and had water in his mouth, it would immediately come spewing out from shock. But that didn't happen because Aubrey was in love with Sienna, and as such, every other woman in the world—no matter how attractive—was ultimately "meh" in comparison.
She was undoubtedly, objectively, a very beautiful girl with long brown hair, cute eyes and freckles. It was easy to see how his friend fell in love with her so quickly.
"Oh wow. Yeah, she looks cool. But anyways, that kind of puts it into perspective."
With the woman's beauty, the difficulty level might have shot up. Aubrey analyzed his friend, looking over him.
"Hm."
He's average height—still taller than me, but not by too much. But his face is pretty darn good. Only problem would be that his hair's not really all there. She's conventionally very beautiful, so he might not even be as attractive as her.
"Well, do you know if she's single?" Aubrey asked, and his friend nodded his head.
"Yeah, I overheard her talking when I passed by her down the hall; she's single, for sure."
"Alrighty. Hm."
Aubrey didn't exactly have any seduction tips. After all, he himself was one of the furthest things from a "seduction master," only managing to get with Sienna due to luck and circumstances.
"Well, I suppose we can try to learn from the greats," Aubrey said aloud, getting on his phone and looking up Casanova.
"Alright, so I think the method is to listen to her and make her feel special. After all, everyone loves to feel special. Don't go overboard, don't bombard her with compliments, but make her feel special; act moreso out of admiration rather than obsession."
Aubrey wasn't one to talk. Or, perhaps he was. Even he himself wasn't certain of whether his feelings towards Sienna were admiration or obsession. In the end, to him, it didn't matter.
"Hm…" His friend mumbled, lost in thought and trying to integrate the words into his consciousness.
Actually, this might be difficult. He's kind of like me, where he's quiet but occasionally will chip in. Does he have friends outside of this?
If that were not the case, and his friend was someone who struggled with social interaction, then that would make everything a lot more difficult.
"Alright, so admire her, but don't go overboard… man, that's gonna be difficult. What if I say the wrong thing? Or do something stupid? Won't she hate me then?"
The obvious answer would be "No," but Aubrey was the kind of person who had a similar thought process, so he couldn't even give him good advice there.
In the end, it was two idiots trying to figure out love.
"I dunno, maybe. Alright, let's see. What does she like?" Aubrey asked.
By this point, he was genuinely interested in helping his friend, thinking of it as sort of a dating sim in real life. And, in most of those games, by choosing the correct option and doing the correct things, connections can be built.
Therefore, Aubrey Palmer, a student in the way of actions taken by serial killers, opted to try and approach it intellectually, using all the cards he could.
"Well, I don't know. I do know she likes reading, though."
"Ooh. My girlfriend also likes reading; we could go on double dates to the library—wait, that sounds really lame, actually. Anyways, how do you know that?"
"Again, I heard her in the hallway. She said she visits the school library often, and when I go down, I do actually see her there pretty often, studying and whatnot."
Some very good information.
"Alright… and are you sure you're not a stalker?" Aubrey asked, and his friend smiled, giving him a light punch on the shoulder.
"Anyways, get serious, man! Think of me as, like, your past self. You really liked that girl, right? Do to me what you'd like done for yourself!"
"Yeah, that's true. Alright, alright. Hm. Well, going by the Casanova rules I picked up from a 20 second Google search, you gotta take an interest in that. Maybe get into reading yourself?"
"But… that's reading."
"Uh huh."
"And reading is boring."
"Natch."
"Hm?"
"Natch was slang for 'naturally' back in the day. Or, at least that's what Yozo said. A bit of trivia I got from reading the book that brought me and my girlfriend together. Anyways—"
Going on a small rant that didn't mean anything, Aubrey had paused the actual stuff.
"—But even if reading is boring, you still gotta take an interest in it. So let's visit the library. If she's there, we'll figure out a plan, okay?"
"Alright. Let's do this!" His quiet friend spoke out with hyped up confidence which was all bravado.
…
Inside the campus library, the two boys found her sitting alone and reading. They hid behind a bookshelf and whispered their conversation.
"Alrighty man, so here's the plan, I think. You're attractive, so if you take a book and ask if you can sit next to her, and she says yes, you won't seem as creepy."
"Huh? But what if she says no?"
"...Shit, didn't think of that."
Why must love be harder to plan than a battle? At least back then, I knew I just wanted to gas them and trap them inside; this is way harder!
His friend wasn't a very confident person, so saying "just be confident" wouldn't help much; fake confidence is easily spotted.
Then, do we turn that weakness into a strength? If he can seem awkward but lovable, that might be even better than just being outright confident. But still…
Aubrey, unsure of what to do, snuck a glance at her.
"Okay bro, here's the plan."
He didn't actually have a plan, he just hoped that the sudden deadline of needing to say something would somehow get him to come up with a good one.
"Take a book, ask to sit down at her table, and since she's reading, ask about the book and have her talk to you about it. But don't sit down until it's natural to. Then, you two can talk for a bit about the book and tell her you're new to reading. Get her to give some recommendations and check them out, and stay with her, reading it and talking occasionally. This place closes in 30 minutes; you got this."
His friend, hyped up by the decently sensible plan, nodded his head with a war-face. Aubrey lightly slapped the friend's upper shoulders as though he were going to do a one rep max at the gym, and hyped him up. His friend grabbed a random fantasy book—"Fear And Wrath, Cry Of Pain" and went to the girl.
…
Aubrey himself did not have the heart to intervene. Even with enhanced senses, he did not wish to listen, as if he heard something embarrassing, he would not have the guts to intervene.
An all or nothing gamble, my bets placed entirely upon him not fucking up and saying stupid shit.
It was stressful, so stressful. Invested in his friend's journey, he was earnestly scared of the results. He did not want to intervene nor did he want to listen, but the anticipation was killing him. And thus, just for a moment, he allowed his ears to pick up their conversation.
"So eventually, the guy fights all the other Killers with his wife, and it's crazy. It's a whole several-chapter-long battle and everything."
The voice of a woman.
"Really? Dang, yeah, I'll check it out, then."
Aubrey peeked out, relieved that the conversation was going well. In his peaceful state, he saw a man adorned in all black, approaching the two.
His enhanced senses activated, Aubrey smelt blood. His eyes instantly narrowing, Aubrey stepped out from behind a shelf and walked over to the all-black man.
"What's up, my boy?" Aubrey said with a smile, wrapping his arm around the figure's shoulders, pulling him tight and walking off with him.
He went into the library bathroom, where the figure shoved him back with strength beyond human capability—at least in regard to the figure's supposed weight and muscle mass.
I remember watching a video about him by a cat-loving youtuber when I was a kid. Don't remember much other than that it was an urban legend, he stabs women wearing red dresses to hide the blood.
Since he's focused on hiding it, I knew he wouldn't attack me in the public eye.
"So, were you planning on hiding until she was alone?"
"..."
No response.
"...Alright, have it your way, I guess."
Aubrey smiled gently, summoning the Slit-Mouth-Scissors.
"I hate to fight in these conditions—I really hate fighting in general. But it seems I've got no other choice. After all, if my friend's crush died before his eyes, that'd cause a lot of burdens on my life."
Speaking his words with a confident exterior, Aubrey readied himself to save his friend's date.