I walked out of the library minutes after drowning in my despair. The click of the door echoed against the rigid walls when she walked out, a sound that lingered in my head. She was such a brat, and I liked it. I liked how defiant she was; it kept me on edge. I knew I had been unnecessarily harsh, but seeing her so easily engaged with another man—a man who was now physically close to her—made my protective instincts surge, ones I had been trying to suppress.
I complained about her being distracted, even though she was a distraction to me. How ironic.
My conversation with Annabel left me feeling agitated. I thought I had put a stop to the Ryan problem, but the feeling of self-satisfaction was fleeting. Her defiance—how her eyes flashed when she accused me of breaking my own rule—stuck with me.
The next few days felt wrong. I was supposed to be relieved and focused, but instead, I was restless, constantly scanning the quad. I kept my distance, playing soccer during my free time to release some tension and to avoid crossing paths with her again.
Axel immediately noticed my mood.
"You're pacing again," he remarked one evening while I stared out the window. "Still stressing about the family friend's daughter?"
"I fixed it," I replied curtly. "She's focusing on her studies."
"Right. And she's still gorgeous, isn't she?" Axel teased.
"It's not about that," I snapped. "It's just a commitment to her dad." I continued to convince myself of the lie I had told.
Axel chuckled, shaking his head. "Sure, Nic. Just commitment. Did you know James said Ryan—the guy you nearly exiled—is his roommate? Poor guy can't even sit on the couch without you staring him down."
I glared at him. "I know he's James' roommate. I haven't been near their dorm."
"I know," Axel replied easily. "But James feels weird about it. He thinks he has to run interference between you, Annabel, and Ryan. He's trying to protect his best friend from his overbearing older brother. You're making his life hell."
That struck a chord. I cared about James's happiness, even if I was terrible at showing it.
"I'm just upholding the agreement," I insisted, but the words felt hollow.
For the next few days, I kept my distance. I told myself it was intentional, that it was better this way. She'd settle into campus life, make her own friends, and I wouldn't have to keep playing watchdog. Still, every time I caught sight of her across the quad—laughing with some girl in her class or tugging her hair behind her ear while waiting in line at the cafeteria—something twisted in my chest.
Annabel noticed, of course. She was sharper than she let on. I pretended not to see her, sinking into conversation with someone else or slipping away before she could catch my eye. It wasn't fair, but if I stayed close, I'd lose the control I clung to.
It was late afternoon when I saw her again. I had just left the library when Ryan's voice carried across the courtyard.
"Annabel!"
I froze. He was leaning casually against the steps of the library, grinning like he didn't have a care in the world. She turned, surprised, and after a moment, her smile matched his. He said something—too low for me to catch—but her laugh rang out, light and unguarded. He offered her boba tea.
My fists clenched at my sides.
Ryan tilted his head as if he'd just remembered something, then gestured toward the library entrance. She hesitated only briefly before following him inside.
I told myself to keep walking. To head back to my dorm, finish the assignment waiting on my desk, and forget what I'd just witnessed. But my feet wouldn't move. My chest was tight, my jaw locked.
Later that evening, I ran into her outside Jen's Café. She was carrying a paper cup, steam curling into the cool night air.
"Hey," she said, a little out of breath, as if she'd been hurrying. "I didn't think I'd see you around."
I nodded stiffly. "Busy week."
Her eyes searched my face for a moment before she added, almost too casually, "I just finished a study session with Ryan. He's not that bad, you know."
The words hit me harder than I expected.
"You don't know him," I said, my tone sharper than intended. "Don't waste your time, Annabel."
Her brows lifted, surprise flickering across her face. "Wow. Okay. I wasn't planning a wedding with him, Nic. You don't always have to go big brother mode with me; James does enough of that. We just read and talked…"
That was how she saw me—as a brother, like her best friend James. I opened my mouth to reply but shut it again, realizing that anything I said next would only dig me deeper. Instead, I let the silence stretch between us, heavy with unspoken words neither of us was ready to confront.
"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Nicholas…" she said with a smile before walking away.
Damn you, Mr. Berkeley. I cursed silently.