Everything feels like
It's too late now
I caved in to the pressures
I couldn't handle it alone anymore
Societal pressures
Family pressures
Whether they are spoken or unspoken
I just caved in
I got tired of waiting
For something that seemed
Like it would never happen
I want freedom
I want to feel safe
I'm tired of acting
Like I'm alright
I just want to escape
And disappear from this world
I need a break from life
I just want to escape
To some place far away
Until I feel okay again
You once made me feel safe
But I crave consistency
So my brain can stop overthinking
And trying to predict potential dangers
I want to feel safe
Delusions held my sanity so far
But I need to get away
From where I don't feel appreciated
I loved you with all my heart
Problem is I still do
But you always keep me close enough
So I don't leave
Yet you remain distant enough
To never really choose me
I'm so tired of it all
I wish we never fell in love
With each other
Had I known I'd suffer
From this much pain
Our friendship was beautiful enough
There was no need to destroy it
With the emotions of love
If you couldn't take the challenge
I fought and resisted
So no one would try to snatch me away
From your grip
But you avoided serious conversation
About a future together
I can't take it anymore
Blame me all you want
But my decisions are all
A result of your actions
I miss you everyday
But I remind myself you don't
If you really cared
You would have done something
You wouldn't have run away
When my family contacted you
You wouldn't have ghosted me
Over and over again
That's so disrespectful
Not wanting to ever say goodbye
But you wouldn't ask me to stay
My heart is being torn apart
As I accepted someone else's proposal
I wish I could run away
Escape from it all
To somewhere far away
I'm tired of pretending
Like I'm alright
I wish someone would ask me
If I'm okay
And be there with me
Tired of pretending to be alright
When you are avoiding me
Like I'm the plague
My own feelings are
Killing me inside...
Oh where were you when I needed you?
Where were you when I cried
My eyes out
When I asked you to call
And to stay with me
I cried all alone for so long
The piercing pain in my throat
And chest
You avoided me like the plague
When I needed you to
Stand by my side
And whenever you needed me
I was always there
You took my care for granted
Once I care, I don't leave
And once I leave, I don't care
I don't look back
No one is really too busy
For someone they claim
To care about
My heart already forgave you
Before you even apologised
I cannot bring myself to hate you
Or blame you
As I understand why
You did what you did
My life is a perfect graveyard
Of buried hopes
Others could make it happen
So why not us?
Apologies without change
Though is meaningless
Nothing changes
The pain won't fade
Why did this have to happen