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Location: South Paladian Forest — also known as "The Kingdom's Big Nope Zone."
This wasn't your typical peaceful fantasy forest full of cute slimes and friendly fairies.
Nope.
This was that forest.
The one even orcs or elf look at and go, "Yeah, let's not."
It was crawling with monsters, cursed trees, and enough death flags to start a light novel series.
The Paladian Kingdom once sent troops to claim it.
Result? Half the soldiers eaten, the other half traumatized.
They called off the mission and wrote "DO NOT ENTER" on every map since.
And then, out of nowhere — a portal appeared.
The birds scattered, the animals ran for their lives, and out came… a body.
A certain 17-year-old, should be brown-haired weeb: Alan Smith, freshly deceased via table-to-head critical hit.
He fell face-first into the mud.
The portal closed.
And just like that, the adventure of a lifetime began with Alan napping like a corpse.
---
Two Hours Later...
"Ugh… my back… why does the ground feel like rocks?"
Alan blinked his eyes open, groaning. He sat up and looked around.
Giant trees, glowing mushrooms, ominous mist — definitely not Indonesia.
"Wait... did I actually get isekai'd?"
He grinned. "I did! Holy crap, I'm in another world!"
Then he noticed the robe covering him.
"Huh. Those two Overseers actually gave me clothes? That's… unexpectedly nice of them."
Alan smiled… until he noticed something weird hovering in front of his eyes.
Two glowing bars — one red, one blue.
"Wait, HP and energy bars? Seriously? Did I respawn inside a video game?"
He raised his hand to poke them—then froze.
"W–what the hell?!"
His hand was metal.
Not prosthetic-metal. Full-on shiny, mechanical, clank clank metal.
"Oh no. Oh no no no no. This isn't my hand!"
Panicking, he ripped off the robe—only to realize his entire body was metal.
His legs, his chest, his arms — all mechanical.
"WHAT IS THIS!? WHY AM I A ROBOT?!"
Desperate for proof, he stumbled to a river and looked down.
His reflection showed a humanoid robot with glowing blue optics and a head shaped like a CCTV camera.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I LOOK LIKE A WALKING SECURITY CAMERA!"
After a moment of silence, he sighed.
"…Okay, fine, I admit—I do look kinda cool. But still!"
---
Just then, a notification appeared.
"Oh great, a pop-up. Please tell me this isn't a virus."
Alan poked at it, but his mechanical fingers just phased through.
He grumbled until he remembered to think the command mentally — and ding! it opened.
The message read:
> "Hello Alan, if you're reading this, it means you've regained consciousness and noticed you look like a robot.
Sorry about that. There was, uh... a 'minor issue' making your new body, so we went with Plan B: full metal upgrade!"
Alan blinked.
Minor issue? He was literally made of steel!
He kept reading:
> "But don't worry! You don't need to eat, drink, or sleep. You can't get sick, and your body won't tire out unless your energy runs low."
> "You can even upgrade your body into an android later! Like, more human-looking. You know, if you miss your face or whatever."
> "Your power source is a mana reactor inside your chest. As long as it runs, you're basically immortal.
Oh, and if your body gets destroyed, your soul will automatically transfer to a spare one."
> "Congrats! You're in a fantasy world ruled by swords and magic.
You can use mana freely, but when you run out, you'll need to rest to recharge."
> "Once again, sorry about the mechanical thing! Good luck! —Lati ❤️"
Alan stood still for several seconds before muttering:
"…Okay, that's… actually kind of awesome."
He nodded to himself. "No food bills, no fatigue, magic reactor, and I can't die permanently! Not bad!"
Then he froze again.
"Wait… hold on a sec…" He looked down.
Nothing.
"WHERE IS MY MANHOOD?!"
His robotic scream echoed through the forest, making a flock of birds flee in terror.
> (Somewhere far away, Lati sneezed and felt mildly guilty.)
---
After a brief existential meltdown, Alan sat by the river, calming his metallic nerves.
"Well, I guess this is my life now… or whatever counts as life."
Curious, he decided to open his system interface.
A holographic screen appeared before him, glowing faintly.
---
Name: Alan Smith
Body Model: XM-156
Alias: Otherworld Guest
Strength: 50
Speed: 43
Endurance: 78
Agility: 23
Luck: 44
Mana Energy: 500/499
Skills:
[Self Regeneration]
[Sharp Eye]
[Super Mana Regeneration]
[Pain Reduction]
[Magic Super System Shop Upgrade Version]
---
Alan squinted at the panel.
"Okay… stats. I've seen this in anime. But… uh… what do these numbers even mean?"
He rubbed his chin (which clanked).
"Strength: 50. Is that… good? Like, can I punch through walls, or am I just slightly better than average?"
"Speed: 43. Okay, I have no clue what that means either. Maybe I can outrun a chicken? Hopefully."
"Endurance: 78. Sounds high! …Or maybe not. Maybe the scale goes up to a thousand?"
He stared suspiciously. "Why isn't there a tutorial.?"
"Agility: 23. Okay, even without context, that sounds bad."
"Luck: 44. Heh. Figures. Still unlucky enough to die from falling out of bed."
Then he blinked at the last one.
"Mana Energy: 500 out of 499? Wait. Did I just… break the system by existing?!"
Alan facepalmed, producing a hollow clang! sound.
Finally, he moved on to the skills.
"[Self Regeneration]—nice, healing powers!"
"[Sharp Eye]—makes sense. I am basically a walking camera."
"[Super Mana Regeneration]—sweet, unlimited magic spam!"
"[Pain Reduction]—oh thank god. I can't imagine stubbing my metal toes."
Then he saw the last one.
"[Magic Super System Shop Upgrade Version]…? That sounds less like a skill and more like a sketchy mobile game ad."
He narrowed his eyes.
"Watch, it's gonna say something like: 'To unlock premium magic, please purchase 10 crystals for $9.99!'"
Alan sighed dramatically.
"Why couldn't I have been reborn as a cool swordsman or a dashing mage? No, I had to be Cyber-Fridge the Confused Hero…"
After a long pause, he looked up with newfound resolve.
"Well, fine. If I'm stuck as a robot, I'll be the best damn robot this world's ever seen!"
With that, he opened his mysterious skill, [Magic Super System Shop Upgrade Version].
A bright new interface appeared—filled with so many buttons and icons that even Alan's robotic brain lagged for a second.
His mechanical jaw dropped.
"…Oh boy. I think I just unlocked fantasy Amazon Prime."
---
TO BE CONTINUED...
(Next time: Alan discovers that even in another world, microtransactions exist.)
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