•Leiara•
My grips on the steering wheel grow tighter as I shut my eyes to breathe in. My chest mounts and falls with a loud exhale escaping as I did.
This is like any other day of my life where I feel the weight of my existence crashing down on me. But for some reason, it feels particularly heavier today.
Probably because I just got told off by my husband's ex-girlfrie—
Can I even call her that?
I found out a while ago that they didn't even break up. Not even after our marriage.
My eyes narrow, cloud with a quiet sadness as I stare into the silent parking lot through my car's window.
Some parts of her words replay in my head;
"You must be so happy that you're the wife the world recognizes, aren't you? Gallivanting around while drowning yourself in his wealth. But you and I know very well that you're merely it for the word, and I'm the real deal."
A wave of inexplicable pain broods my chest, seeping away every strength inside me. I lean forward for comfort and rest against my steering wheel.
My insides seem to be sinking into a well of pain, irritation, annoyance and many more emotions I can't quite name—almost glistening my eyes with tears.
But I won't cry.
I don't cry.
I just….. can't cry.
These emotions aren't anything new. They aren't strangers to me. If anything, I seem to be the perfect host for them.
Why cry for something I know wasn't mine to begin with? This marriage wasn't based on love.
It was an arranged alliance set by our families. One that neither of us could refuse.
I sigh aloud to loosen the tightness in my chest, my eyes closing to draw a bit more respite.
I shouldn't be bothered by things like this, I know very well I shouldn't. But….
It's awful.
I start drowning in my self victimized thoughts, deaf to my surroundings and oblivious to the reason I'm out here in the first place.
Until loud screeching tires of a vehicle parking grated my ears, breaking me out.
I snap upright. With slaps to both my cheeks, my goal burns bright in my eyes.
Let's set aside the whole mistress, husband cheating matter aside and prepare to face the new one.
I can't afford to be late, not when it's my grandmother in-law that summons me. It's already nighttime to begin with.
Let's not dwell in what we can't change for now, okay Lei? I pep talk myself.
I open the car door and step out, lowering my heel-clad foot with gentle grace.
One of the rules I'm made to strictly abide by is carrying myself with grace and elegance. As the daughter in-law of the renowned Hayes family, I can't be caught slacking or doing anything that might risk putting the family's name in jeopardy .
I slam the door shut, then sweep my eyes over the entirety of my dress for any incongruity.
It is a black, classy, knee length pencil skirt with a loose button up dark, olive, long sleeve top. Simple but elegant.
I always have to take my appearance into account all the time, after all.
I hold my small clutch bag to myself and start heading out of the parking lot.
I reach the front of the tall building near the parking lot in no time. I'm in haste in order not to be late, but as I reach, I pause.
I rake my eyes over the massive building, taking in its size like it's my first time seeing it when I've always walked it for almost a year now.
Making my way inside feels like the hardest task I've ever been tasked with.
iHNT Group.
They're the leading company in the country. A mega firm that is known worldwide for their luxury developments and architectural masterpieces.
Marrying into such wealth is a blessing, isn't it? Everyone says it is.
My eyes slowly narrow once again. But I do not let myself drown deep. I shake my head and cast aside whatever emotion is building.
With deep breaths, I extend my hand to grab the warm handle of the thick glass door to the building.
But still, I hesitate.
I do not know why my resolve falters. I should already be used to the treatment I'll get as soon as I open this door and step inside, since I get it every time I come here.
Those judging eyes that pierce my body. Their loud enough whispers of criticism against me. Their glaring gazes of hatred towards me.
I shouldn't be swayed by any of that anymore.
But even if I don't want to, it proves quite hard to do.
"Ok Lei, you can do this!" I pump myself up.
As soon as I get inside, I plan to ignore everyone as they do me and calmly walk straight to the elevator.
I finally push open the thick door. As soon as I step in—
"Hello everyone?!"
My voice pierces loud and far, accompanied by a big flashy smile on my face.
Jesus! Why can't I stick to my plans?
The workers busy with one thing or another, some in their sectioned posts, momentarily pause to glance at me.
The silence is deafening.
I am the wife of the sole heir to the company in which they work, and beside that, I'm also an important partner to the company.
By all norms, they should respect me.
But their gazes quickly return back to their works, not a single word in response to my greeting.
I stand there awkwardly, my smile turning tense.
"Ha-ha-ha," I let out a low, cracking chuckle.
So embarrassing.
I start walking to the executive elevator. As I do, I feel their eyes return to me.
And their criticizing comments which they pretend to let out in a whisper follows suit.
"Waa! Talk about shamelessness. I thought by now she'd stop showing up here."
"She's trying too hard. Did you see? She even greeted us, hahaha."
"Look at her, she isn't even that good looking. Why does she carry herself so high like that? Cringe!"
"I wish our president could be free from her claws."
The elevator opens with a chiming ding. I don't listen further to their comments. I enter right away and press the top floor.
PHEW!
I exhale to loosen the tension.
I throw my head back, and close my eyes to calm my nerves as the elevator rises.
After some moments, it reaches my stop. It opens and I step out.
Again, I walk into a vast hall of workers, more organized than the ones on the lower floor. They sit neatly in their posts and focus on their work.
But as I walk through, their eyes trail me, full with judgment and irritation.
As I already know the office of the chairwoman, my grandmother in-law, I head straight for it.
But just for clarity,
"Hi Lindsay, is she in?" I ask with a warm smile because my grandmother in-law can summon me and still not wait for me.
"She is," Lindsay, the chairwoman's assistant replies with a calm face.
She's one among those few people you can't read their expressions. Always a blank, calm face.
I whisper her a thank you and make my way toward the office.
I reach the door, and just like a while ago, I hesitate.
My heart pounds louder, palm getting sweaty. My chest mounts and falls as I remain still at the door.
I can't help but wonder what wrong I might've done to warrant her summon.
Huh? Have you ever done any wrongs to incur all the past scoldings from her? My consciousness chimes at me.
That's right. I'm always working on egg shells. Always making certain I don't mess things up.
But there's never been a day I stand in front of her and not get scolded.
I just have to prepare my mind for it.
Before I can reach out to push open the door, her sharp voice hits me.
"Do you think I called for you because I could not afford a doorman? Or why do you remain there like a statue?"
I forgot her office is made of one way glasses.
Cold air rushes through my veins, ceasing me in goosebumps and shivers.
My thoughts and nervousness wipes clear in an instant, and without thinking, I snap inside.
"Y-yes? Grandmother in-law."
I force a smile.
I hope I look modest enough, the back of my mind pricks at me.
Is it due to the nervousness coursing through my veins from being in her presence, or just my lack of attention, but I fail to notice the figure sitting opposite her at the far corner of her long curvy desk.
My grandmother in-law's eyes zeroes on me coldly, as if spelling out my mistake.
My eyes darts to the corner to notice the blond man in suit.
"Oh! H-hi," I let out lowly in a stammer.
My face twitches from the forceful smile I maintain.
Contrary to my stammering greeting, the man responded boldly and sharply.
"Hello," he smiles, flashing me his white 32s.
I remain smiling back.
"He is the new Head of the Land Development Department," she introduces curtly.
Her tone remains sharp and steady, and her gaze, never wavering.
The man rises from his chair and extends his hand for a shake.
"I am Timothy Chad. Nice to meet you."
I shake his hand with a smile.
"Leiara Rhys. Nice to meet you," I reply simply.
I saw no need to go deep and introduce myself as the wife of the president, or the heir to the Rhys Development, my father's company.
Although ours is smaller and new money compared to my husband's old money, we are still quite known in the country.
While both companies are a construction and real estate firm, we specialize in just two areas; Real Estate Brokerage & Sales, and Property Management. While the iHNT specializes in everything.
After the handshake and introduction, Mr Timothy returns to his seat.
"Bring your attention back here," my grandmother in-law says.
I straighten up and face her.
"It's been seven good months that you two have been married," she starts.
I already know what's coming, and I'm not new to it. But somehow, I feel a wave of shame swell in my chest when I realize she is going to scold me and call out my incompetence in front of a new worker.
A worker I am superior to.
My eyes briefly dart to sir Timothy but return just as quickly. Too quick to even catch his expression.
"Why is there still no news of my great grandchild coming?" My grandmother in-law pauses after this question.
But I have no response.
There's nothing I will say that she hasn't heard.
"Do you think after securing the deal with your father and getting you married into my family, you can sit back and do nothing? I need improvement, Leiara. I need results!"
Her voice raises.
"I have been tolerating your incompetence in this marriage for so long. There has been no progress between you both at all, nothing. What do you think the duties of a wife are? Do you think getting a new heir to extend the family name should be prolonged this long? Or is it the family's name you wish to drag into the mud?"
She looks at me fiercely, eyes ablaze with anger.
I simply remain still.
"Will you talk? Or do I have to teach you that as well?"
I swallow the lump I presume to be stuck in my throat.
"I-I.. Colson…. and I—"
She doesn't let me finish and cuts in sharply.
"Spare me the same excuses of Colson being too busy with work. Of you both not having a chance to yourselves!"
She yells, and slams her wrinkly fist to the desk, which causes me to flinch slightly in response.
She exhales aloud in frustration, rubbing her brows. After a moment, she speaks.
"Colson will be back soon from his trip. This time, make something happen. Fulfill your duties perfectly, else I will be forced to take matters into my hands and bring in someone more capable."
Someone more capable? My consciousness echoes within me.
Doesn't that mean…. a new wife?
With a dismissive gesture, she waves me off.
I bow.
Embarrassed, I leave without sparing sir Timothy a glance.
Outside the office, I breathe out in relief.
The scolding is surprisingly short today.
I want a fresh breather, to take a moment to calm myself. But the company makes me feel like centipedes are crawling on my skin.
I can't get peace of mind here.
I pace up and hurry out of the building. Of course their incessant whispers trail my path, but I pay them no mind.
I walk to the parking lot and get inside my car. With a sigh, I throw aside my purse and throw my head back to breathe.
I can't even bring myself to think things through. It's all too tangled, like every kind of ache is crashing inside my head.
I crave nothing more than to go home and feel the comfort of my bed. So I start the car and drive home.
Minutes later, I arrive at our mansion. It doesn't take the gateman long to open the gates for me after I honk.
I pull into the compound. I haven't driven into the driveway yet when I see her.
The very woman who had confronted me to remind me of my place. The true focus of my husband's affection.
The mistress.
She stands at the door to my house.
But more than her presence in my house that shakes me, my eyes land on the well packed luggages beside her.
A creeping dread fills me instantly, spreading my eyes wide in mounting shock.