In the middle of night Leo had already given up on the world, lying in his crib like a broken man trapped in a baby's body.
Suddenly, An Angel looking figure appeared in front of him, floating gracefully.
Leo (thinking, starry-eyed): "An angel…? Have I finally been saved…?"
In reality, the Angel was just munching on a bar of chocolate while glaring down at Leo the same way people look at garbage left on the street.
As the Angel tried to spit out the taste of disgust, a glob slipped—flying straight into Leo's mouth.
Leo gagged awake from his fantasy, coughing dramatically.
Leo ( suprised): "Gugugaga?! (Translation: What… what was that?!)"
The White Figure froze for a moment, then waved his hands nervously.
Angel ( panicking ) : "H-Hol—Holy Water! Yes! That was holy water! For, uh… purification!"
Leo stared, deadpan.
Leo (thinking): "…Holy water tastes suspiciously like cheap chocolate…"
The White Figure struck a dramatic pose anyway, as if nothing had gone wrong.
White Figure: "You're welcome. Feel blessed."
Leo's eyes sparkled upon hearing that .
Leo (excited) : "Gugugaga!" (Translation: Are you here to save me? Or at least give me better cheats than this suicidal piece of junk you dumped on me?)
Angel (floating elegantly but munching on chocolate): Nope. I'm here to ask for your review on the rebirth process."
Leo ( confused) : "Gugu?" (Translation: Review?)
Angel (checking a clipboard): "Yeah, you know — five stars, thumbs up, that sort of thing. I'm a newly appointed angel, still on probation. My lord sent you here to save the world. Though, honestly, I've got no idea how you're gonna do that since you're, uh… a demon baby now."
Leo's tiny demon horns wiggle as he glares.
Leo (sputtering): "GUGUAUGAGA!!" (Translation: My lawyer advised me not to translate this part or my novel might get canceled. Please use your imagination.)
Angel (nodding seriously): "Noted. So… three stars? Four? You get a coupon for free reincarnation upgrades if you leave a good review."
Leo (deadpan): "Gugu…" (Translation: Very bad words which shouldn't be said by a baby or even an adult , Please use you're imagination again .)
(Meanwhile, as Leo is busy arguing with the angel about review stars...)
On the battlefield—
Demon General #1 (swinging his axe through a dragon's skull):"You damn lizards! How dare you try to assassinate the mighty Demon King! And he's just a baby! A cute baby! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT HURTING THOSE CHUBBY CHEEKS?!"
(He decapitates another dragon while crying dramatically.)
Suddenly, the ground shakes. A massive black dragon bursts from the clouds, roaring so loudly that both demons and dragons nearly faint from sheer lung power.
Black Dragon ( Prideful) : "I amMorthos, Dragon of Shadow and Darkness!"
(Cue awkward silence as everyone pretends not to have almost peed themselves.)
Morthos (clearing his throat politely):"Now then… I demand a trial to clear up this ridiculous misunderstanding! No dragon ever attempted to assassinate the Demon Lord! Honestly—he's a demon baby. Who even does that?"
Demon General #1 (pointing dramatically at Morthos):"OBJECTION! Dragons do that , there is proof in the history!"
Morthos (facepalming with a claw the size of a house):"This is why I hate Mondays…"
[After a long, heated discussion between demons and dragons]
Demon General #1 (pointing dramatically):"We still don't trust you dragons! Today we retreat, but one day—we'll pay you back!"
Morthos (waving his claws nervously):"No, no, no! There must be a way to solve this without war! Wars are way too long, and do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my nails sharp during a campaign?!"
Demon General #3 (fidgeting, blushing like he's confessing to a crush):"U-uhm… How about… a dragon makes a soul oath with the Demon Lord… to protect him? A dragon is important to dragon society and strong enough to fight anyone! That would guarantee peace!"
Morthos (perking up):"Huh… not a bad idea! But… which dragon is crazy enough to—"
[Awkward silence. Every head slowly turns toward Morthos.]
Morthos (sweating):"…Wait. Why are you all looking at me like that?"
[Suddenly, a few dragons rush over.]
Dragon #1 (sniffling dramatically):"Don't worry, Morthos. I'll take care of your cave."
Dragon #2 (tearing up):"We'll all remember your noble sacrifice… and how you tragically died a virgin."
Morthos (choking):"Wh-WHAT?!"
[Before he can protest, he's grabbed by both demons and dragons and dragged forward like a sacrificial lamb.]
Narrator (deadpan):"And just like that… Morthos became the unwilling 'peace treaty' between two powerhouses nation."
Morthos (screaming as he's carried off with his hand and legs tied by other dragons ):"I JUST WANTED TO DO MY NAILS!!!"
[Morthos, sulking in a corner] Narrator: Morthos was quickly losing hope. His own race had betrayed him—…to become a slave—I mean… a protector of the Demon Lord.…and probably a sacrifice—I mean… a great hero for the dragons.
Morthos (snapping): "STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT! I'M NOT GONNA DIE!"
[Meanwhile, in Leo's room…]Narrator: Leo and the so-called angel were still arguing.
Angel (pouting): "Just give me five stars already!"
Leo (yelling back): "I got scammed, you heavenly con-artist! I wouldn't rate you one star even if GOD paid me!"
[Suddenly, the door creaks open. Leo panics.]
Leo (thinking): "Oh crap, if they see an angel here I'm screwed—"
[The angel vanishes like bad Wi-Fi before the door even half-opens.]
Demon General #1 (bursting in, dramatic): "DEMON LOOOORD! LOOK WHAT WE BROUGHT YOUUUU!!!"
Leo ( annoyed) : "GUGUGAGA?! (Translation: What is it this time? Please don't say dragon…)"
Demon General #1 (teary-eyed): "Demon Lord! You're so cute when you talk like that! Anyway, remember when you said you always wanted a dragon?"
Leo(frustrated ): "Gugaga… (Translation: I'm a baby. HOW would I even say that?!)"
Demon General #1 (ignoring him completely): "Fufufu~ That's why we brought you one of the strongest dragons alive… MORTHOS! As your slave— I mean, loyal guardian!"
[Morthos stomps in, ready to complain.]
Morthos (thinking): "Alright, let me see what kind of abomination this so-called Demon Lord is—"
[Morthos locks eyes on Baby Leo. Everything stops.]
Morthos (eyes sparkling, instantly melting): "…When can I sign the soul oath? Let's do it. NOW. For peace. For unity. BUT TOTALLY NOT FOR HIM."
Morthos (internally screaming like a fangirl): "HE'S SO FREAKING CUTE— I'D DIE FOR THIS LITTLE MUFFIN. AAAAAAA!!"
Narrator: And just like that, the mighty dragon became… the baby's #1 fanboy.