Dearest readers,
I don't know how to quite put it into words. I will try my best.
The past few months have been - in simple words - chaotic and messy. To be honest, even these two terms don't quite accurately sum up my state of mind. But a lot had been - and still is - going on in my personal life. Complications and stressors that drain my energy and mental peace. I do my best to stay strong, but the anxiety and overwhelming emotions keep me in a locked and frozen state. I already am an overthinker and I quite hate it myself, I get tired and burned out but it's simply hard to come out of that zone.
I apologize for the irregular updates. Trust me, as a person with OCD, this only adds to my mental stress. But I have been contemplating on this for quite some time.
On top of my already complicated personal circumstances, I will only torture myself by continuing to write if I am not in the right state of mind. It has been extremely difficult to even open my document, much less write a chapter. And I know this cannot go on. I don't want to keep churning words just for the sake of it.
Writing used to give me joy. Distract my mind. Keep me busy - and in a good way.
Somewhere along the way, that joy and spark have gotten lost. I am not able to find it anymore - at least not for now.
I often find myself asking - "Seriously, why am I even writing? What's the point?"
One part of the answer is certainly my troubling personal life interfering with my mind. Other part is that I probably misinterpreted how my writing career will go. Or how my creative future will look like. So at this moment, I truly don't know where I stand.
So, I have decided to pause here.
Don't worry. I am not going on some spiritual or self-discovery journey. I simply want to focus on my present circumstances and let this difficult phase pass for good. When I will truly feel at peace of mind. When writing won't feel so burdensome as much as it is now. I don't want my love for writing to ever end up in such a sorry state in my life. Writing is what gave me purpose, improved my self-confidence and let me meet such wonderful readers and community like you. I want to respect this art form until the end.
Though I say this, I will still keep updating chapters here and there for TDB. But only when I really feel like writing it and not forcing myself. I will never abandon my novels, so yes, they will definitely come to a happy end. It will never be a permanent hiatus.
But at the same time, I also don't want to bind myself into a schedule anymore. I want to write at my own pace, find my rhythm once again. Slowly. Keeping my mental peace in check. Probably also find that joy back if possible. Even if a little.
That's all I wanted to share with you.
I feel it's high time I prioritize my mental well-being after writing so continuously without a break. In retrospect, I think I shouldn't have published The Demon's Bride last year because somewhere I knew, 2026 was going to be messy for me, and that way, only 1 ongoing novel would have gotten affected.
But yeah, life is beautiful but it also sucks at times. We cannot predict how the future will be. So here I am.
I will keep working on myself. Do my best. I humbly ask my readers to kindly have patience during this tough time.
Thank you. Love ya all.