Zugzwang
A German term for "compulsion to move". It's an expression used in strategic board games, such as chess, wherein a player is forced to make a move that worsens their position.
You may be asking:
Why would you make a move that gives your opponent an advantage?
It's because you're forced to.
Essentially, it's a fancy word for saying "You're screwed no matter what you do."
Apparently, that also applies to family matters.
That's the exact position I'm currently in.
"Miya."
Being 14 floors above Tokyo should be something exhilarating; just seeing the entire city from up above, inside a skyrise of glass and steel, should be enough to calm one's nerves.
Currently, I'm sitting beside the most terrifying woman in all of Japan.
She just so happens to be my mother.
"What are you plotting this time?" Her eyes—ocean blue—stared right into my soul.
And then all of that collapsed as she gave me a smile. "You've schemed behind my back so many times before that I've lost count~"
As if mocking me, she clasped her hand around her mouth. "It's almost like you don't trust your own mother..."
I gave her a grin, scratching the back of my head.
"N-nothing! Hahaha..."
That was stupid.
Few people know who Yuki Shizuka is when she's not actively putting on a face. She's my mother, of course, a guiding force in my life. She's also a monster, not in a destructive sense.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but whenever she gets "mad" at me, her aura makes my body freeze in place.
Sweaty palms, frozen limbs, increasing heart rate.
I know she won't do anything to me, but that's exactly why she's so scary.
But what's really horrifying is the fact that she can seamlessly swap personalities in an instant.
Even I can't tell how she really feels.
Mom sighed before crossing her arms. She was tall, towering over me, obviously.
As if her presence alone wasn't terrifying enough.
"You're always like this..." She stood up, pinching the bridge of her nose before strolling across the carpeted floor. Her footsteps echoed slowly as she spoke up, tone unnervingly calm. "I just hope this won't be another cake disaster. Do you still remember that?"
The cake disaster... Right. I nodded.
Mom leaned on the glass panes, now directly across from me. "I'm curious, though."
I looked up. "Yeah?"
"What were you and Amamiya's daughter doing here in the first place?" She began walking straight towards me. "Suzune is part of this agency, but what about you?"
"..." I hesitated for a moment. "No comment..."
It took a while, but Mom's eyes widened as if there was some form of divine revelation.
She snickered before bursting into soft laughter as she strolled around the hall, feeling the decorative plants littered around.
"Don't tell me," She wiped a tear from her eye, "that was a date, wasn't it?"
...
"What...?"
As her heels clicked on the floor, she found her way back beside me, now leaning on the grey wall while lowering her gaze.
"Oh? Were you embarrassed?" She looked down, reaching out her arm before pinching my cheek and grinning. "Was I right?"
Thank God, no one is going to see this...
She sat down beside me once again, resting her arm on my shoulder as she ruffled my hair. "I think that's enough fun for now. I never get to let loose on set—so sorry, Miya~"
"Y-yeah."
Please kill me, right now.
"Anyway," Mom took a deep breath, her warmth freezing to what felt like absolute zero, "you're going to be honest with me this time."
She continued. "This will not be a serious question; I'm just asking this as a mother."
I quickly nodded.
"What were you doing here?"
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Approximately 2 days earlier...
They say that "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade".
I don't want to make lemonade with cyanide.
"Why this place, specifically?" I asked her, my eyes roaming all around us as students passed by, probably thinking the same thing when you see two people of the opposite sex eating together.
She didn't answer, of course.
"Are you actively trying to screw up our social lives here?"
"Screw up?" Suzune looked up, eyes playfully narrowing. "Don't you think this'll boost your popularity?"
She took a sip from her plastic cup. Iced tea. "Suzune Amamiya is dating Miyato Shizuka. Quite the story, you can't help but admire how fast the average teenager creates a rumor compared to completing academic requirements."
I just lay my head down on our table. My hands were twitching with every passing whisper from the people around us.
"—I swear I saw them walking to the gate together."
"No way, Amamiya doesn't date commoners."
"He's cute though—kinda looks like Yuki Shizuka."
My stomach actively began to hurt the moment I heard that.
"What's wrong?" Suzune said.
"Can't we go somewhere else?" My voice was muffled, hand taking Suzune's drink from hers.
"Hey—" She almost spoke up, covering her mouth as she looked around—most likely to see if anyone heard it.
I crossed my arms after rising back up, her iced tea dangling from my fingers.
"So?" I raised a brow.
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We decided to spend the rest of lunch period strolling around campus. It was huge, if that wasn't mentioned already.
The leaves rustled as they fell from the trees, the whirls of the wind blowing against them.
Suzune had led us to a largely isolated area within the campus, so not many eyes were focused on us this time.
As we continued our stroll, Suzune went ahead, only coming to a stop when she fell under the shade of a large tree with its branches sprawling in every direction.
There were a few benches and tables conveniently placed around it.
"Regarding your sister's situation..." She spoke up, finger tracing the wrinkles of the trunk.
Suzune turned around to face me. "It isn't serious yet. When Starveil collapsed, the information they gathered on her was sold along with the info of the other potential talents."
What a relief...
"However."
"However...?"
"The reason I called you last night was quite obvious, given the information I disclosed, right?"
I nodded, walking towards one of the benches as I took a seat.
"You're partially responsible for Starveil's collapse, aren't you?" She began to roam around the bench, occasionally stopping to touch the plants growing nearby. "Your whole stunt in Kanae's transfer caused the agency to collapse, which means you indirectly caused your sister's official exposure to the industry."
My jaw clenched. She's right.
She eventually came to a stop as she leaned behind my bench.
"I'll help you with anything related to Minami," a smile tugged her lips, "if you help me with Tachibana's case."
I thought for a moment, looking towards my side as she tapped on the backrest.
As long as it protects Minami... I sighed.
To be honest, I'm a naturally curious person. Mom always said that I liked getting my hands on certain things when I was still a baby.
Elise also mentioned something about Mom being problematic when she was a teenager as well.
This condition must be hereditary, then.
Still, our eyes locked together as she offered her hand.
I can't help but wonder why she's so insistent on an idol's case.
I took her hand. "I'll work with you. Only if you tell me why you're on this case."
She tilted her head. "Ah, that?" Her gaze suddenly turned to her side.
She tackled the two of us behind the giant tree, out of anyone's line of sight.
She's surprisingly strong—
"Quiet." Suzune placed a finger on my lip. "I think I saw some people walking around here."
The place within the bushes was uncomfortably small; I had to adjust so that we wouldn't end up entangled.
"Big words coming from someone who liked dating rumors."
She immediately turned to me. "Trust me when I say it's not about that."
Suzune took a deep breath as she leaned on the trunk. I took her place in looking out for anyone else.
"This is a serious conversation." She said. "If anyone hears about what we were talking about—"
"Am I interrupting something?"
Shit
I turned my head to look up at the man in front of us.
Mr. Ishikawa, I've heard of him.
The school's iron fist, think of him as the executioner within the academy's courtroom.
I looked to my side; it was unusual to see Suzune being flustered when we got caught.
"Amamiya. And... Shizuka?" He took out his phone, probably typing in our names. "Get out of there, now."
It took a while, but we sat next to each other on one side of the bench. Mr. Ishikawa was sitting across from us, arms crossed, face visibly tired.
Kind of reminds me of someone...
"Explain to me why you two were in the shrubbery during lunch hour."
Suzune straightened her uniform instantly. "W-we were just—uh—"
"Research," I blurted out. "Tree ecology. Very pressing subject."
He rolled his eyes. "Right, ecology. I thought you were supposed to be a smart kid, Shizuka." He stood up, slowly walking past us. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt; you're both model students, so it's probably some misunderstanding."
Mr. Ishikawa turned his head one more time. "But, two weren't planning anything inappropriate, right?"
"Yes!" Suzune said instantly.
The man sighed, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "Just don't do it again, I'm only letting you off the hook this time because I think you're good kids—hopefully."
"And Amamiya's related to that model, too..." I heard him muttering.
As he finally left, Suzune locked eyes with me one more time before palming her face. "I hate this..." She immediately pointed her finger at me. "You didn't see any of this, okay?"
"Really?" I grinned. "So you're saying that I'm blind?"
"What I'm—"
"You tried to make a deal with me a while ago, and I accepted it. How about we switch our roles for the time being?" I walked right up to her, hands in my pockets.
"Tell me everything.
Not just what you were about to say.
Tell me exactly why you're so interested in Miyu Tachibana's suicide."
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I found myself standing in front of a fairly luxurious apartment building. Once I stepped in, it felt much cooler compared to the heat outside.
It was what you'd expect, but I felt a little surprised knowing my classmate lives in this kind of place.
Getting through Minami's pestering was the hard part of this, funnily enough.
My footsteps slowly echoed as I took in the scenery. There were rows of walls, either in pure white or fading black. The lobby was huge, surrounded by couches, potted plants, and people, probably middle-class or above.
That usually depends on how they present themselves.
For example, that guy with the plain black shirt probably has somewhere between a billion and two yen. The only thing giving it away was that he wore a gilded watch, and the other was the fact that the shirt he was wearing was a designer piece.
Anyone else who flaunts themselves is probably lower in social status than he is.
I glanced around, moving towards the receptionist.
"Excuse me, I'm here to visit Ms. Amamiya."
The receptionist perked up. "Amamiya...? Unusual, you look pretty young for a visitor of hers." She chuckled to herself. "Just let me check the records..."
She began flipping the pages as I turned to look at the plants.
"Ah! Mr... Shizuka? Is that correct, sir?"
"...Yes"
"Just to be clear, you're here for Ms. Amamiya, right?"
I nodded.
The receptionist smiled. "She just returned from her shoot a few minutes ago. Please wait in the lobby while I let her know."
A shoot?
Well, Suzune is a model. I thought, slipping into my seat.
We decided to choose a more private area to discuss something as sensitive as an idol's suicide case.
My house was off-limits. There were several photos that could reveal the fact that I'm Yuki's son. But that wasn't even the worst thing that could happen—it's the fact that Minami is there.
Just bringing in a girl to our house would be—
"You must be Miya~"
...Mom?
The voice was too light. Softer. But for a second, my heart did stop.
I looked up—and froze.
She looked like Suzune. No—Suzune looked like her.
"Hello? Is someone there?"
"Y-yes?" I nodded.
The moment I looked up, I saw someone who looked just like Suzune.
Except taller, older, and a lot more mature (?).
And she had this aura around her, not as freezing as Mom's, but definitely enough for me to mistake her for Mom.
Her hair, golden blonde, was styled in soft curls that fell across her shoulders.
Golden curls framed her face, soft and deliberate. A cream blouse tucked into tailored trousers, a beige coat hanging loosely off her shoulder. The faintest scent of rose lingered as she leaned forward, one hand holding her phone.
"You're unusually nervous," she laughed. "Elise told me you were the quiet, composed type."
Elise?
"Ah, right." She waved her hand with a bright smile. "I'm Sora Amamiya. Suzu's mother. Sorry if I startled you—I just got back from a shoot."
That explains... a lot.
But also nothing.
This is Suzune's mother?
"Wait," I said, "you know Elise Sinclair?"
"Of course! I work with Yuzu all the time."
I tilted my head.
Yuzu?
"Oh—sorry! Yuki. I just call her that because of Akki." She giggled. "Old habit."
Ms. Amamiya continued. "Anyways, what are you doing here?"
"Suzune—"
"Hold up!" She raised a finger, closing her eyes as if thinking of something deep.
Then, she spoke up. "Sorry, I won't let you date my daughter."
I blinked. The hell...?
She let it hang for a second before bursting into laughter.
"Sorry, sorry, I've been itching to say that since forever—continue."
Is she really Suzune's biological mother...?
"My house isn't really a good place since I have a sister and all. You know how teenagers work... we'd never get a minute of peace."
She smirked, but gave me a wink before pulling out her phone.
"Suzu's in her room. I'll have one of the attendants take you to ours and tell her you're here."
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Room 12
"So..."
I stared at her as she opened the door to their room.
"So...?" I replied.
"Just—" Suzune pinched the bridge of her nose, "get inside."
The moment I stepped in, Ms. Amamiya put her heels between the door.
"Keep the door unlocked, Suzu," she said, smiling. "Miya's a trustworthy kid, but I don't know about you~"
"Mom!" Suzune screamed out, face red.
The door shut with a clean click.
Silence.
Suzune slumped into the fall, covering her face. "I hate her sometimes..."
I walked past her, trying to hold off a laugh as I laid my bag near their couch.
"You're pretty lucky, you know."
"What?" She crossed her arms. "How?"
"Embarrassed you in front of a classmate? Yeah, pretty bad."
I took out a pen and a notebook from my bag.
"But my Mom is way scarier. You won't be able to breathe once you meet her in person."
That is if she's not putting on a face...
"Really?" Suzune said, walking towards her room as the door clicked shut. "I'll get the files. Make yourself at home in the meantime."
"Right!" I answered.
I took the moment to admire how lived-in their room felt. Everywhere you go, there are photos of Ms. Amamiya and a young Suzune hung on the walls or displayed on the shelves.
As I turned to the other side, what faced me was a wall of glass panes, the light beige feel of the room filling it in as Shinjuku's noise was muffled from below.
The sound of a door shutting slipped into my ears.
Suzune sat across from me as she laid down what seemed to be police files tied to Miyu Tachibana's death.
"How did you get these?" I took one from the table and skimmed through it.
"Oh, about that." She paused. "I haven't answered your question, haven't I?"
I gave her a nod.
"I'm trusting you because I know you can't walk away now. Note that this concerns your sister as well."
"Go on." I laid the file back down as Suzune clasped her hands.
"My dad is a detective."
I raised a brow.
"He's investigating this case on Miyu Tachibana. But I have this suspicion that there's more to this case than the police let on."
"And that's why you have these files?" I started writing down my notes. "If your dad's a detective, shouldn't he keep this information in a place where her own daughter wouldn't get her hands on it?"
"You really are smart." She grinned. "Unfortunately, it's a trade secret."
"Why?"
"You've already explained it." She snapped her fingers. "A detective would keep valuable information in places where no one would get their hands on it."
She continued. "I can't tell you everything yet; it would ruin the fun, don't you think?"
I sighed.
There's no chance of beating her in a game like this.
I'll have to wait.
"Fine, then tell me what you can tell me."
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It took a while, but we decided to meet in Suzune's agency's main office.
And dare I say that the place was enormous—really, this embodied the term "skyscraper". A tall, large building made of glass and steel, with the largest pool of talent coming in and out every single day.
The nameplate—Aurum Stage Productions—was embossed in gold above the entrance, sleek and understated.
My classmate already lives in a luxury apartment, and now this?
"I know a place here. We can discuss the rest of the files there." Suzune said.
She was wearing something modest for an outing, something similar to her mother's taste if compared side-by-side. The only difference was that she preferred black more in her outfits.
Interesting.
As I held the handle, the temperature dropped a few degrees. The air smelled faintly of citrus polish and perfume—expensive perfume. The lobby stretched upward for several floors, a monolith of glass, marble, and motion.
Digital billboards looped reels of commercials and music videos—faces smiling, dancing, bowing—every one of them probably under this agency's wing. Not to mention the number of promotional posters that were plastered all over.
When the glass doors finally slid open, we were met with intense panic.
"Quick! Everyone! Get into positions!" A staff member shouted as they ran past us.
"Where's the cleaning staff? She's almost here!"
She?
"Line up!"
We took the staircase leading up to the mezzanine level. From there, I could see everything: the glossy marble floors catching reflections like mirrors, the wall-to-ceiling posters of past award winners, and an entire mural of spotlights shaped into a golden star at the lobby's center.
The chime of the elevator pinged behind us as several more staff members poured out of it.
We stopped at the railing above the lobby, looking down at the commotion below.
"What's the occasion?" I asked as I leaned forward.
Suzune adjusted the strap of her bag. "I don't know, Aurum usually emails everyone under it when an event like this takes place."
Cameras were being set up as the glass doors opened once again.
This time, the temperature dropped, overpowering the heat outside.
I looked at the entranced in surprise as a woman, towering over everyone while wearing all-black, entered.
Her eyes flicked up to me, as if sensing my presence.
Blue.
Mom?!
The moment I spotted her, Mom's eyes widened as well.
I brushed it off for a brief moment before turning to look at Suzune.
She was frozen as well, eyes glued towards the direction of the entrance.
"Suzune?" I called.
"Ah—sorry." She shook her head. "Am I hallucinating...? You saw her, too, right?"
I nodded, clutching my arm.
"Was that... Yuki?"
I looked in Mom's direction once again. Sure enough, she stared daggers at me.
"Wait," Suzune said, "she's walking towards us."
Shit...
Shit shit shit
This is extremely bad...
The chill slipped into my ears as I felt her presence.
And in that same instant, she smiled. That calm, photogenic smile that somehow both awes and intimidates.
"Miyato," she said, voice smooth as silk. "What a coincidence."
Shit.
Suzune leaned closer, whispering, "You... know her?"
"Kind of," I managed, smiling too stiffly.
Mom tilted her head slightly, most likely studying me, probably wanting to flick me in the forehead for being stupid.
"Ms. Yuki," I said quickly, bowing. "It's an honor to see you again."
Suzune blinked. "Again?"
Mom smiled at Suzune. "You must be Suzune."
I could certainly feel the glee behind Suzune's face.
Mom continued. "Miyato, here is my manager's son; he's a little troublesome at LimeLight, but he's been a big help to Ms. Sinclair."
She then glanced between us, the bright red of her lipstick gleaming as she grinned.
"Don't let me interrupt your little discussion here," she winked before leaning into my ear, "we'll talk about this later."
And then she walked past us, as if nothing had happened.
Her entourage soon followed behind as we slipped into the railings once again, Suzune hugging her bag as a smile seemingly tugged at her face.
"She knows who I am..." I overheard.
"Anyway," Suzune spoke up, "that was... Yuki."
"Yeah..."
"And you of all people know her?"
I gulped. "Kind of...?"
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Present
"It's for a school project..."
That was a terrible lie.
"Oh?" Mom leaned on the backrest as she poked my cheek. "That's cute."
She bought it?!
"Yeah." I tried pushing her hand away—failed. "Suzune and I were paired together for our English class. We decided to meet in her agency's building for some inspiration."
She took out her phone, typing something in it before turning to me.
"Inspiration for...?"
"An essay—we haven't decided on a topic yet, so we figured to look for inspiration from the posters."
"I see."
She took the sunglasses that were hanging above her head and kept them in her bag before standing up. Her black trench coat swayed slightly as she showed me her phone.
"If you're looking for some inspiration, I know someone who's been in the States before."
I wrote the number down on my phone.
Mom began walking away, her heels still clicking against the floor.
"I'll be off now, I asked for five minutes off—my interview is going to start soon."
She turned her head and waved.
As the clicks began fading away, I took a second to glance at the number as well as the name tied to it.
Kenta Murasaki