4. Family Involvement Requirement
Regular Visits: Both parties must attend all family gatherings and events, maintaining the appearance of a devoted couple.
Rotating Holidays: Parties will alternate hosting holiday dinners, each committing to at least one family meal per year where Party A prepares a dish (regardless of skill).
Her lips twitched. Party A cooking? So, the mighty Arinze Chibuzor can actually use a frying pan? I would pay to see that.
---
5. Secrecy Clause
The true nature of this marriage must remain confidential to the public, family, friends, and extended relatives.
Only one designated confidant per party is permitted to know the truth.
Olaedo exhaled slowly, Okay, that's… fair. Except for the part where I am supposed to lie to my family for five years.
---
6. Gift Giving Clause
On major occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, public holidays, both parties must exchange thoughtful gifts.
Minimum gift value: ₦10,000.
If a gift is deemed an obvious act of sabotage, Party A reserves the right to demand a replacement.
Her jaw tightened. So, I can't even give him a "World's Worst Husband" mug?
---
7. "We Need to Talk" Protocol
All private contract related discussions must occur in "romantic" settings such as restaurants or cafes, in the presence of at least two witnesses (patrons or staff).
This ensures a believable alibi of love struck partners.
Olaedo's mouth fell open. Even contract fights come with scenery now?
---
8. Paparazzi Readiness Clause
Both parties agree to maintain camera ready appearances at all times.
Practice a minimum of three couple poses every weekend for impromptu photoshoots.
Dress as if always expecting paparazzi.
Maintain a consistent "love story" for interviews or public questions.
Her head dropped onto the table for a second. This isn't a marriage contract, it's a part time acting job with full time surveillance.
---
9. Pet Clause
Should either party own a pet, the other must participate in co parenting activities, including weekend pet outings and shared pet care.
Great, she thought blankly, I can't even dislike his dog in peace.
---
10. No Developing Feelings Clause
Both parties agree that under no circumstances will romantic feelings develop or be expressed.
This includes verbal or written confessions, lingering looks, or other signs of "emotional involvement."
Any such act shall be interpreted as a breach of contract.
Her eyes twitched. So I can't even blink too slowly now?
---
11. Emergency Exit Clause
Either party may terminate the contract in case of an "emergency," defined as:
Sudden debilitating allergies to any common romantic gesture.
Media exposure jeopardizing professional or personal standing.
Unexpected declarations of love (per Clause 10).
12. Intimacy Restrictions
Physical intimacy is limited to:
Holding hands.
Occasional hugs (minimum 5 seconds, maximum 10).
Subtle, "public appropriate" gestures such as fixing hair or guiding by the waist.
Pecks on the cheek or forehead only.
Private or extended displays of affection, including kissing on the lips or anything beyond the cheeks or forehead, are strictly forbidden.
Sex? Absolutely off limits.
Olaedo nearly choked on her breath. So… basically, we're a drama series without a romantic subplot.
She side eyed Chibuzor. He was calmly sipping his water as if he hadn't just written a manual for emotional celibacy.
---
13. Separate Sleeping Arrangements
Both parties will maintain separate bedrooms. However, during visits from parents, relatives, or guests, they must share a room to avoid suspicion.
In such cases, both parties must sleep as far apart as the east is from the west (or according to room size).
She blinked slowly. He actually included the east and west part? Is this a contract or a stand up comedy script?
---
14. Shared Expenses Clause
All expenses for joint appearances, events, celebrations, or any projects of Party B will be paid by Party A for the duration of the contract.
However, Party A reserves the right to decline funding for any project he doesn't personally approve of.
Olaedo nodded to herself. Ah, there it is, the rich man's fine print. Generosity with conditions.
---
15. Respect for Family Members Clause
Both parties must maintain respectful behavior toward each other's families.
Any confrontation, sarcasm, or "petty argument" will result in monetary fines to the offending party.
Her lips tightened. So, if his grandmother insults me, I'll pay for defending myself? Unreal.
---
16. Weekly Status Updates
Every weekend, Party A and B will meet privately for a 30 minute review of their "marriage performance."
Adjustments to affection tactics or couple pose ideas are encouraged.
Olaedo dragged her hand down her face. Weekly performance reviews? This marriage has HR policies.
---
17. Time Out Clause
In cases of extreme irritation, either party may invoke a temporary "time out" once per month, pausing all contractual obligations for up to 24 hours.
She nodded faintly. Good. At least there's an emergency button for sanity.
---
18. Monthly Date Night Requirement
To maintain the illusion of a happy couple, both parties must attend one official date night every month at a mutually agreed location.
All expenses will be covered by Party A.
Her heart sank. Great. I'll be fake dating my boss once a month for five years. Someone save me.
---
19. No Breaking Rules for Emotions Clause
Both parties agree to honor the contract regardless of "emotional tension" or personal feelings.
The contract supersedes all emotional developments or romantic complications.
Olaedo stared at the last page of the contract, her pulse loud in her ears.
20. A monthly salary of ten million of the local currency will be paid to Party B throughout the entire five years. Party A reserves the right to adjust said salary if Party B breaches any part of the contract.
21. One Month Grace Period
Should the situation become intolerable within the first month, either party may propose a "review" of the contract for possible amendments or withdrawal without penalty.
Signatures:
Party A: _____________________ Date: ___________
Party B: _____________________ Date: ___________
End of Contract.
---
Her eyes lingered on those words. End of contract.
But it did not feel like an ending. It felt like a trap sealed with ink.