1. The Department That Should Not Exist (And Doesn't Want To)
The door appeared overnight.
That was the first problem.
The second problem was the sign.
DEPARTMENT OF IRREGULARITIES
Please Knock. Reality Is Sensitive.
Ne Job stood in front of it, badge dangling slightly crooked.
"…They didn't even give us an office number."
Yue stared at the door like it might bite her.
"That's because it's not on any official floor plan."
Qi-Yun folded his arms.
"It exists between departments. Administratively homeless."
Ne Job nodded solemnly.
"Like an intern couch-surfing between cubicles."
Qi-Yun: "Exactly like that."
Ne Job reached for the handle.
The handle recoiled.
"…The door flinched," Ne Job said.
Yue sighed. "Of course it did."
2. First Entry Triggers Immediate Regret
The door opened sideways.
Not left. Not right.
Sideways.
They stepped through—and reality politely pretended this was normal.
Inside:
• Desks that didn't fully align with the floor
• Filing cabinets whispering complaints
• A coffee machine actively arguing with itself
• One potted plant growing in reverse
Ne Job looked around.
"…I love it."
Yue pinched the bridge of her nose.
"There's no seating chart."
Qi-Yun glanced at a floating clipboard that blinked in and out of existence.
"There are no assigned roles."
Ne Job's eyes lit up.
"So we just… do stuff?"
Qi-Yun nodded grimly.
"Yes."
Ne Job gasped.
"This is my nightmare."
3. The First Case Arrives Immediately (Of Course)
A bell rang.
Not a pleasant one.
A wrong one.
A file slammed onto the central desk from nowhere.
Stamped in glitching ink:
CASE #0001
Issue: EXISTENCE MALFUNCTION
Subject: Heavenly Clerk Lin (Again)
Ne Job froze.
"…Lin."
Yue went pale.
"They reassigned him?"
Qi-Yun read the details.
"No. He slipped through."
The file twitched.
Symptom: Clerk remembers life before emotional suppression.
Side Effects: Laughing. Crying. Asking questions.
Status: Disruptive.
Ne Job clenched his fists.
"That's not a malfunction."
Qi-Yun met his gaze.
"No. It's a consequence."
The room hummed uneasily—as if listening.
4. Heaven's Official Suggestion (It's Bad)
Another memo phased in.
RECOMMENDED ACTION:
Emotional rollback. Memory smoothing. Reassignment to Quiet Sector.
Yue slammed the desk.
"No."
The desk yelped.
Qi-Yun raised an eyebrow.
"Interesting. The furniture is empathetic."
Ne Job didn't smile.
"They want to put him back."
Qi-Yun nodded.
"Because he doesn't fit anymore."
Ne Job lifted the file.
"Then we fix the system. Not him."
The room stilled.
The reverse-growing plant paused.
The coffee machine stopped arguing.
A soft click echoed.
AUTHORITY QUERY:
Can an Irregular Intern override recommendation?
Qi-Yun inhaled sharply.
"Ne Job—"
Ne Job looked at the badge on his chest.
Undefined clearance.
Undefined authority.
He thought of the line.
The waiting.
The silence.
He pressed the file flat.
"Yes," he said.
"I override."
5. The Department Makes Its First Decision
The file rewrote itself.
Not erased.
Corrected.
UPDATED ACTION:
Subject reassigned to:
Department of Irregularities
Role: Human Context Consultant
Yue stared.
"…You just invented a job."
Qi-Yun's mouth curved slightly.
"That's how departments grow."
A shimmer ran through the room.
The walls aligned—just a little.
The plant grew one leaf forward.
The coffee machine sighed.
"…I think the office approved you," Yue said softly.
Ne Job exhaled.
"I feel like I just lied on a cosmic form."
Qi-Yun placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You told the truth where the system couldn't."
6. Consequences Arrive Wearing Polite Shoes
Slow clapping echoed from the doorway.
A tall figure stepped in—robes pristine, smile professionally disappointed.
Lord Bureaucrat Xian.
"Well," Xian said lightly, "you didn't last an hour."
Yue stiffened.
"You can't shut us down. We're sanctioned."
Xian nodded.
"Oh, I know. That's the problem."
He glanced around.
"An undefined department issuing corrections already. Very messy."
Ne Job met his gaze.
"Lin stays."
Xian smiled wider.
"For now."
Qi-Yun's eyes narrowed.
"What do you want, Xian?"
Xian adjusted his sleeves.
"To observe."
He leaned closer to Ne Job.
"Because interns who change systems don't stay interns long."
The lights flickered.
The door flinched again.
7. The New Normal (Which Is Worse)
Xian left.
The room exhaled.
Yue leaned back against the desk.
"So… this is our job now."
Ne Job nodded.
"Handle what shouldn't exist."
Qi-Yun added calmly:
"And protect those the system would rather forget."
Ne Job looked around the broken, breathing office.
He smiled—nervous, excited, terrified.
"…Okay," he said.
"Let's mess this up responsibly."
A new file appeared.
Then another.
Then three more.
The bell rang again.
And again.
END OF CHAPTER 259