Tony looked up from where he had Jarvis' delicate internal workings laid out on the work bench before him as Thor walked over to take a look. Tony jabbed a warning screw driver at him. "Oh no you don't, back up, Hammer Time. Jarvis is the nerve centre of this entire building. I don't want you anywhere near him. I want a ten foot perimeter from you at all times and the generalised destruction you seem to cause everywhere you go."
Thor scowled. "I will not harm your magical building's nerves, Tony Stark."
"Just like you didn't harm my shiatsu chair and my Corvette." Tony closed his eyes and put his hand over his heart and looked to be in pain. "Oh God, my beautiful Corvette, such an ignominious end for such a beautiful creature," he said sadly. Tony opened his eyes and looked over at Bruce. "You know, I thought your other guy would be the one to look out for when it comes to destroying things, but The King of the Clap over there has him beat."
Bruce arched a wry eyebrow at that. "I think I'd be justified in arguing the point on that one. The other guy does love to smash things."
"Hey, hey," Tony chastised him, "don't be dissin' my guy's smashing tendencies. It's my most favourite thing about him." He paused. "As long as he doesn't do it with my stuff."
"The Hulk doesn't tend to discriminate with that kind of thing."
"The King of the Clap?" repeated Thor slowly. "I do not know what these words mean."
Bruce patiently explained. "He's doing a play on words, Thor, taking the concept of a thunder clap and twisting it into a STD reference."
Thor arched an eyebrow, still looking confused. "STD?"
"Sexually transmitted disease," Bruce translated. "You have them where you come from, right?"
"What is it with you two and your conversations always ending up around the ass area?" Tony quizzed them.
"They're conversations started by you, Tony," Bruce reminded him in exasperation.
Tony held up his hands. "Hey, don't drag me into your ass issues."
Thor glared at him. "You will watch your tongue around me, mortal. I am your superior in every way, do not forget that."
"Says the guy in knee high boots and a cape," Tony shot back.
"Let it go, Thor."
"Hit him."
Steve and Bruce had two simultaneous different sets of advice for Thor.
"I guess that agreeing thing was going to be a onetime thing," Tony pondered.
"So it would seem," said Bruce dryly.
Thor had walked around the other side of Tony's work bench, too close to Jarvis for his liking. "Hey, Tim the Tool Man," he said sternly and made a hand motion indicating around the bench, "respect the perimeter."
Thor looked unimpressed, but moved further away anyway.
"Okay," said Tony, "let's see how we're going." He cleared his throat, ready to check Jarvis' system responses. "Jarvis?"
"Yes, sugar tits?" came the composed response.
Bruce spurted out his mouthful of water all over the surprised Thor while Steve burst into laughter. "What was that?" Steve asked of Tony.
Tony scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Looks like my tweaking may need some tweaking."
"You think?" said Bruce.
Tony tried again. "Jarvis, uplink all the data for the cooling system of this building to my tablet."
"Make me, big boy."
Tony's made a pained expression. "Okay, well, that's not right." He started to pull at some wires when Happy stumbled off the service elevator and looked like he was about to collapse. Tony glanced at him as he picked up a screwdriver and fiddled with the board. "Why do you look like you're about to explode?"
"Had to run," Happy gasped, barely able to talk as he leaned against the wall and fought to catch his breath. "Emergency."
"What's the matter, Lassie?" Tony teased his panting friend. "Did Timmy fall down the well again?" He shook his head. "That Timmy, if there is a well, he'll find it."
"Pepper," Happy rasped around his wheezing, "on way up."
Tony stopped fiddling with Jarvis' circuitry. "She missed her flight?"
The breathless Happy could only nod.
Tony looked surprised. "How can you miss a flight on a private jet?" He frowned, becoming instantly concerned. "Happy, is she alright, what happened?"
"Bad, very bad," he gasped and then started to cough.
Tony stood up and headed over to him, starting to really worry now. "Happy, tell me what's wrong, where's Pepper?" He felt almost paralysed with fear over what could have happened now, especially to have Happy in this state.
"Pepper's here," said an angry voice behind him.
Tony whirled around to see a flushed Pepper standing in the doorway and glaring at him. The relief that flooded Tony's body at seeing her made him almost giddy. "Pepper," he said in delight, "you're alright."
"No," she snapped, "I'm not alright!"
"Maybe we should leave," said Steve a little uncertainly. "This seems private."
There was a murmur of agreement from the others, but no one moved.
Tony looked at Happy for some help in deciphering what was going on with this situation.
"Whatever you do," Happy pleaded with him, "don't go with your first instinct."