Chapter 65 — "Konan: You Said You Were Going Out for Oranges, and You Sold Out the Akatsuki?!"
Though future conflicts—even all-out war—were still a real possibility, for now, an alliance with the Akatsuki brought Uchiha Yujiro nothing but benefits.
After all, as cool as "defeating the entire shinobi world single-handedly" sounded…
in practice, that was a little above his current pay grade.
Without Six Paths–level power, it was just a dream.
Yujiro wasn't worried, though.
With his brilliant mind, a little help from his mysterious system, and the motivation that came from being married to a million adoring women someday,
he was confident he'd reach that level eventually.
It just… needed time to cook.
In the meantime, sneaking around quietly—no flashy kills, no unnecessary fights—was the most efficient, low-profile strategy.
---
If he needed to rally the other villages?
He could use the Akatsuki to stir up trouble.
If he wanted to shake down the daimyō and the nobles?
He'd just slap on an Akatsuki robe and call it "revolution."
Whenever something blew up, the Akatsuki would take the blame.
Whenever something went right, Uchiha Yujiro would collect the credit.
A perfect system.
"Heeheehee… heeheeheeheehee…"
Nagato stared at the suddenly giggling Yujiro,
and, for the first time since meeting him,
genuinely regretted his life choices.
"What are you staring at?" Yujiro said with a grin.
"I was just thinking happy thoughts."
"..."
"Anyway," Yujiro clapped his hands, "next stop—the Akatsuki base.
Once we're done there, we head to Amegakure.
I'm going to twist Hanzō and Danzō's heads off and play soccer with them!"
He struck a dramatic pose, eyes gleaming.
"From this day forth, the Land of Rain belongs to us—the Akatsuki!
This rain-soaked country shall be the cradle of our conquest!
Heeheehee! Heeheeheeheeheehee!"
Nagato: "…"
The Three Sannin: "…"
Jiraiya sighed heavily.
"You went a little too far, Nagato."
He said it in a tone halfway between reprimand and disbelief.
Since the two sides had "made peace," the tension had somewhat eased.
And after Jiraiya had clutched Nagato, sobbing and begging him not to die—
well, Nagato was still emotionally shaken.
He'd been reminded that, after all, his teacher still cared.
(As for why Jiraiya had been crying and clinging to him like a lovesick grandmother—let's just not talk about that.)
---
"But…" Nagato began hesitantly,
"for the record, my Twin Shinra Tensei only hit Yujiro's chest and arms, not his head.
So whatever's wrong with him right now…
that's just his default Uchiha setting."
Before he could explain further, Yujiro turned back around and said cheerfully:
"Oh, right! Nagato-bro, after we join Akatsuki,
we get those awesome black cloaks with the red clouds, right?
Right? Right?!"
Nagato blinked.
"Uh… yes."
"Yessss!" Yujiro pumped a fist.
Jiraiya, meanwhile, went pale.
"Wait, hold on—what do you mean 'we join Akatsuki'?"
Yujiro smiled innocently.
"Come on, sensei. If we don't join, how else are we supposed to prove our sincerity?
Don't overthink it—you can tell yourself you're just doing undercover intel work.
Makes it sound more heroic, doesn't it?"
Jiraiya blinked.
"...Actually, yeah, that does sound a little better."
Nagato stared at the two of them, utterly speechless.
"You realize I'm still standing right here, right?
And that you're literally planning your infiltration in front of me?"
"Of course," Yujiro said without missing a beat.
"And in exchange, we'll issue you a honorary Konoha headband as a peace token.
Fair trade, yeah?"
Nagato: "…"
---
And so, in this bizarre, half-sincere, half-insane negotiation,
Uchiha Yujiro and his unlikely crew began their journey toward the Akatsuki's hidden base.
Back in the day, under Yahiko's leadership, Akatsuki had grown to rival a small hidden village.
But after Yahiko's death, the organization had withered—
leaving only Nagato and Konan as its last remaining pillars.
---
When Nagato sensed Yujiro's group approaching with his Rain Tiger at Will jutsu,
he decided it was the perfect chance to look cool in front of Konan.
So he turned to her and said, with calm authority:
"I'm just going out to buy a few oranges.
Stay here and don't move."
Then, like the world's most tragic husband heading out for groceries,
he took the entire Pain Corps with him—
and walked straight into Uchiha Yujiro's madness.
Konan had absolute faith in Nagato and the Pain Corps.
She never doubted their strength for a second.
No matter who the enemy was, Nagato wouldn't lose.
Or so she thought.
Reality, however—
had other plans.
Because Nagato-bro really did lose.
---
So, when Konan sensed a group of chakra signatures approaching the Akatsuki base,
she assumed it was Nagato returning from his "quick errand."
She even smiled a little, ready to welcome him back.
"Nagato, the oranges—huh?"
Then she froze.
Walking casually through the rain-slicked entrance was Uchiha Yujiro,
striding forward like he owned the place.
Beside him were Nagato—still very much alive but looking defeated—
and the Three Legendary Sannin of Konoha.
They looked less like intruders and more like a tour group coming home.
"Yo! You must be Konan-sis, right?"
"Nagato-bro's mentioned you. Nice to finally meet you!"
"So this is the base? Hmm, a bit rundown, but hey, good bones!
Once we renovate, this place'll shine."
Yujiro greeted her cheerfully,
then immediately began scanning the hideout—
judging the lighting, checking the walls,
clearly already planning interior upgrades for Akatsuki HQ.
---
Konan's expression darkened.
This random man was walking around her organization's base like he owned it.
She wanted to draw a kunai and end this nonsense immediately—
but something about the situation (and the company he was keeping)
made her hesitate.
Her gaze flicked to Nagato… and then to Jiraiya.
"...Jiraiya-sensei?!"
Her composure slipped.
Of all the people to show up here—
But now wasn't the time for tearful reunions.
"Nagato," she demanded, "what's going on? Who is this man?"
---
"Oh, me?" Yujiro said brightly, stepping forward before Nagato could even open his mouth.
"I'm Uchiha Yujiro."
He said it with the same tone one might use when introducing a celebrity.
"Don't worry—I'm not here to break up the Akatsuki."
"I'm here to join it."
He paused dramatically, smiling like a showman about to drop his big reveal.
"Starting today, I'll be leading the organization."
"This was the result of a friendly, mutually respectful discussion between me and Nagato-bro.
I hope you'll accept this change gracefully, Miss Konan."
---
Konan: "...Huh?"
She blinked once. Then again.
"Wait. What did you just—hold on a damn second."
Her paper wings twitched.
"Nagato! Is this guy serious?!"
For once, Konan's calm, composed, ice-queen demeanor shattered completely.
She grabbed Nagato by the robe and shook him like an earthquake.
"You're telling me—" she screamed, voice spiking past 220 decibels—
"you went out for oranges… and SOLD THE ENTIRE AKATSUKI?!"
The roar echoed through the base, shaking the ceiling and Nagato's soul alike.
"Even the richest fools in Fire Country don't burn money as fast as you just did!"
---
Tsunade awkwardly raised a hand.
"Uh… I mean, technically, she's not wrong…"
Yujiro just smiled warmly.
"Come on now, Konan-sis, don't be so hard on him.
Nagato-bro did his best."
He placed a comforting hand on her slender shoulder, speaking with mock sincerity.
"He's fulfilled his historical mission—time to let him rest.
The torch has been passed."
Then, with the gravitas of a megalomaniac CEO, Yujiro spread his arms wide and declared:
"Now begins my era!
I promise you—under my leadership, the Akatsuki will rise again!
Bigger, stronger, brighter than ever before!
Together, we'll make this organization great again!"
---
Konan stood frozen, half in shock, half in disbelief.
Jiraiya buried his face in his hands.
Nagato sighed deeply, questioning every decision that had led him to this moment.
And Tsunade muttered under her breath:
"Oh god… he's serious."
---
Thus, in the ruins of Amegakure,
amid rain, paper, and confusion,
Uchiha Yujiro officially became the new "leader" of the Akatsuki—
by pure force of personality, audacity, and sheer narrative insanity.
And somehow,
no one managed to stop him.