What did shinobu just say ? She poisoned him ? No he must have heard her wrong ? That's not possible . She wasn't- . " What ? " He couldn't form a sentence . Shinobu looked at him in the eye . Tears running down her cheeks . " I am so sorry but ... But I really just poisoned you . " She cried , her voice trembling . Tomioka just stared at her . Why would she just ? He knew he wasn't on good terms with the hashiras but he thought he was on better terms with her than the rest of them . " I didn't mean to . It was an accident ." She said . Oh then it is fine , that was what giyu was thinking but she started again . " I wanted answers but I never intended to poison you . I know I was wrong . I should have asked but I chose the wrong way . " She kept crying and giyu just looked at her . Why was she crying like this if it was an accident . But how did it even happen ? And what did she mean by answers . " I'm just so sorry tomioka . The surgery was supposed to make you delirious just but I ... I don't know how I gave you a poison instead . I was just so angry . I-i lost kanae and and you let her live . Oh god please , I am really sorry . " She hid her face in her hands as she continued crying .
Okay why was she crying . The poison was an accident right ? in pure meaning of it . But then what delirious drug is she talking about ? And who live ? What in the world just ? . This was going about his head . The room suddenly felt more cold and giyu realised how tired he was feeling just . He didn't know why he felt so tired but he couldn't just sleep right now even though that's what he would like right now . He slightly pulled the blanket up and looked at shinobu again . Maybe he should ask in a different way . " Shinobu I don't get what you are saying . I mean I get the accidentally poisoning me part but if it's an accident you have to be sorry about it . " He said and shinobu just started crying more .
Goodness she realised she still hasn't gotten the right point through him and she didn't know how to put it anymore . Kanae she thought . She missed her so much and the anger wasn't subsiding but the guilt was more . Help me please she was making a silent prayer . She looked around helplessly . She was so tired and she couldn't stop crying . She hadn't slept properly knowing that she could have killed him . She hadn't eaten for two days now and she still didn't know what to say to him . She just sat down and held her head as she continued crying .
Sanemi took a deep breath . Looking at the two . He knew he was being an asshole but it is what it is . He sat down again and tapped tomioka on the leg . Giyu turned to look at shinazugawa and he found a soft expression . " Tomioka , " he stopped he didn't know if it's his part to tell but looking at shinobu made him realise that she was too done . He now knew that she didn't know how to explain . Okay putting it lightly . " Tomioka , shinobu didn't intend to give you the vaccine . " He stopped to see tomiokas reaction which didn't show much but slightly raised eyebrows. " She planned on giving you another drug so that by night you would get delirious due to its affects. " He stopped again and this time he found a frown on tomiokas face . He noticed the shift of his eyes to shinobu who had her head bowed low and then shift back . Yet tomioka didn't say a word . " But she accidentally gave you another drug which proved to be quite fatal and you collapsed during the meeting . " He stopped and this time tomioka looked down . Shinazugawa took the queue that now he should stay silent because even he wouldn't want to say why shinobu did it . True the all hate nezuko and they don't approve of her but this wasn't the answer to that .
Giyuu stared at his hands for a moment . Was this real or still a dream . Why would anyone give someone the wrong drug just because they want them delirious ? That's cruel isn't it ? Evil ? Yes , pretty . But why just ? He looked at shinobu trying to reason this whole situation out . He looked at shinobu who still had her head bowed low then he looked at shinazugawa who looked uneasy . Giyu knew he wasn't someone very easy going but he never considered people would hate him this much . I got drugged . Just a sudden realisation. " I got drugged . I was out for two days . I have stitches . Did I loose some organs or perhaps ... No no" he got a bit too lost in the moment . Moments of the past . Moments of that asylum .
Drug after drug , infused in the veins . Screams echoing through the halls and suddenly giyu felt the burn on his stomach and giyu grabbed his stomach . The ever so familiar burn of skin being cut open . Giyu had grabbed his stomach and lurched forward a bit . No , no they never cut the stomach . Not unless they need your organs . You never come back alive if they take em . No , but I am alive . They take them . They take them you know . Our organs . Sell them most probably and then when they are done , they throw us away like used cigars . Kelly had told him that . And now Kelly was dead . They had killed her . They took her organs because her thrashed body was open and it was empty . It was his turn now . The lord was coming for him . It was getting warmer and slightly wet . But it was cold too at the same time . I can't breathe giyu saw the world go black in and out . No . It would hurt . His ears ringing with screams he was too familiar with and his vision black giyu extended his hand to grasp anything , anything to give him a sense of life . Anything to stop the pain .
Shinazugawa was shocked . One moment tomioka was alright the next he was bent forwards and he was gasping for air . Shinobu broke out from her guilt when she heard shinazugawas panicked call to tomioka . She looked up and found him lurched forwards , gasping . Shit she got up and tried to get him to sit up straight . It took a while but they got tomioka to lay down straight but there was an issue . He was bleeding . Tomioka had scratched his stitches and they were bleeding a bit . " Oh no " shinobu mentally cursed and hurridly grabbed some cotton , Vipes , some disinfectant and sent shinazugawa tell AOI to get some stitching supplies . While she cleaned the blood and examined each stitch properly she looked at tomioka , who seemed a bit too out . His face was pale and he was sweating . His hands trembled and shinobu knew from it , that tomioka was lost in some disturbing thought or memory perhaps . Aoi rushed in needle and thread and almost handed it to shinobu . " I need to wash my hands again before I stitch him up . Make sure he doesn't sit up . " She said and ran out to wash her hands . Aoi and sanemi stood by him . Sanemi placed his hand on tomiokas forehead and found it hot . " His fever is high . " He said and aoi gave him a sad look . Shinobu rushed in and without anesthsia , first opened the 3 damaged stitches and then placed them again .
The stitching up sent slight pain and heat coursing through giyuu and he opened his eyes and was about to sit up but sanemi grabbed him and held him . " Ahnnn " giyuu couldn't control because the burn was similar . " Stop , please stop " he was literally begging them . Sanemi placed his hand on tomiokas forehead . " It's going to be fine . It's going to be alright . " He kept saying until shinobu was done whilst giyu was a crying mess . They really do this while keeping you awake . Oh god no please . " As giyus mind played tricks on him shinobu placed the bandage on his stomach and asked shinazugawa to lift him up so they could change the sheets . Sanemi picked him up and sat on the chair with him , whispering to him to stop giyu for crying . Little did he know that giyu was no longer 21 , he was again 9 and in that asylum . Sanemi kept rubbing giyus back . Were stitches really that painful without anesthesia? He didn't know the answer but maybe they were . Or maybe because tomioka is fatigued right now also he is feverish . Sanemi could feel the heat now . He held giyu tight with one arm and grabbed the wet cloth from bowl in his other hand and brought it to clean the sweat from giyus face and neck . And his this little act made giyu open his eyes properly . The cold cloth compressed to his head shifted his focus from the memory of the burn to this cold feeling that he wanted to escape . He moved his head and opened his eyes to find shinazugawa right Infront of him . But why was shinazugawa this close . And then he felt the cold cloth on his head properly and he tried to move only to be met with pain . " Hnn " . " Easy there . Don't move so much for some time .shinobu just placed the stitches back . Don't scratch them again . " He said and tomioka gave him a confused look . Didn't he already have stitches ? He have them because his organswere- . Giyu closed his eyes and started breathing in deep . " Not there anymore giyuu . not there " he told himself .
Wait a second . He opened his eyes to look around and found himself in shinazugawas arms . The shock was enough for giyu to jolt up straight into a standing position . " Ohdbx ahnnn hnn " the sudden movement and pain . He grabbed his stomach and shinazugawa shot up as well . " I told you , easy there . Come on. Come here . Sit down here . " He said as he placed the chair close to tomioka . And giyu tried to sit but found it hard . When shinobu and aoi came with new pillows and covers and found giyu standing shinobu gave shinazugawa a look of disbelief . " Oh my goodness . Tomioka San why are you standing . You need to sit down " she said as aoi hurridly placed new covers in . Sanemi helped giyu sit on bed and then very carefully helped him lie down . " Stay there . Okay " he said and saying this sanemi looked at shinobu . He didn't want to leave but the blood had made him want to run away . Blood of his family , colleagues , his loved ones haunted him still . He needed a moment to himself and so he walked out of room but didn't go that far .
Giyuu didn't think he could stay awake for much longer . He was so tired now . But in all this chaos he didn't get to ask why ? Why was it all happening to him . And he might not get to ask it for some time as giyus eyes closed and he dosed off into a feverish sleep . Shinobu watched him fall asleep . She felt the lump in her throat return ., felt the shiver down her spine and felt her heart tighten . She loved kanae too much but the guilt of doing something so dangerously wrong was there too . She sat down next to him , placed a cool cloth on his forehead and then just sat there watching his chest rise and fall .
Giyu woke up and was met with white ceiling of the infirmary . Dream , it was just a dream . He told himself again and again . A few moments and he turned his head to side to find himejima San sitting in the room . " You are awake tomioka . How are you feeling now ? " Himejima asked him . giyu whilst feeling too tired to even make a move to get up , couldn't say that he was tired . " I am better himejima San . " He said and then himejima placed a hand on his forehead . The hand was cool for giyu . " Ah though you still have fever but it is indeed reduced now . " Himejima said and giyu was embarrassed honestly. He felt like a kid . First shinazugawa and now himejima San . Oh god this is sooo embarrassing . " Yes I do feel better . " He said the both fell in silence . None spoke a word and after an hour shinobu came in . She found giyu awake and smiled at him . Himejima acknowledged her presence and then went out to give the two some space .
Giyu didn't know what he should say to her . Shinobu took a chair and placed it right next to the bed . The blanket of tension laid heavy in the air . For a few minutes none spoke a word . Tomioka stayed staring at the wall , thinking of what he should say while shinobu just stared at his hands . Giyu never thought shinobu would do it . He really thought he was on better terms with her . Maybe she didn't like him at all . Maybe she was tolerating him just and now that is over too . It's was gone . And if she can't do it no more then the others wouldn't do it one bit . They really hated him . Sorry for being a big mouth , but I suppose you are not aware that people don't like you tomioka San . Shinobus words clung in his ears like heavy hour bells . One after the other , every insult ever made in that courtyard seemed to make it's presence know . How could it be that the silence could be so loud . None had spoken a word .
" Can I ask -" he started and shinobu raised her head up . " Why though ? " He asked and she stole her eyes away . She took deep breaths . After all she was talking to a man she almost killed . She considered saying because I didn't want nezuo to live but stopped herself . No she was going to be direct . Maybe her answers would be indirect but she needed answers . She did it all for them after all . " Why did you let nezuko live tomioka San ? " She asked . Being questioned right away . Why was she asking about nezu- ." And you let her live " so that's what it was about . Did it all happen because nezuko is alive ? He left her live . Of course that could be a reason . But he thought once oyakata Sama approves then all of them would do so . Had they all not ? But he thought everyone trusted oyakata Sama enough to believe him .
" Because she was different . " He said . Different ? Different ? . Was that enough of a reason . " Different ? You didn't think being different meant letting demons live ? They kill humans tomioka San . " She said . No she argued back . How could he let a demon live after knowing damn well they do . She lost them all . All of her loved ones because of demons . So how could he let any of them live . " She didn't eat her family . She didn't eat tanjiro . She saved him ... From me ... . She thought I was attacking him . She didn't anyone till now . " He said . However the answer didn't satisfy her . Giyu noticed the way her jaw clenched . The way she resisted the urge to stand up . How her fists were turning white . " It was a hunch ? You let her live on a hunch ? How could you ? What if she had eaten someone ? " She said , her voice raising . And giyu knew this would be a long discussion.
Yes he let her live . But it wasn't a hunch . Never a hunch . Of course he knew the risks . That's why he said he would commit seppuku if she ever eats one . " Of course not . I did analyize the whole situation. She chose to protect him while she could have healed her wounds had she eaten tanjiro ." He said and he watched how shinobu was ready to say something . " I let her live but I did follow them until urodoraki San came into my view . Two whole days , she was awake , newly turned demon and not a scratch on her brother . She must have been so hungry but she didn't do it . " He said and shinobu still didn't show signs of being satisfied . " Why didn't you let us all know ? Why did we get to know it 2 years later ? " She asked . Her every word held venom and tomioka didn't know how to satisfy her this time . So he looked away .
Why hadn't he ? Was it because he was too ashamed ? Was it because he was scared of rejection ? Was he afraid of something other then that ? Was it his inferiority complex ? Or was it his uncertainty ? He wanted to tell but he needed proof that nezuko won't eat anyone . So he let urodoraki San write a letter to ubayashiki when he was sure that she is a safe demon to be around . He let urodoraki San make the decision . " I let urodoraki San tell oyakata Sama when the time was right . " He said unsure of what to say other then that . He had at times considered why he was doing this ? Why did he make urodoraki San a part of a crime he had committed . He didn't deserve that . He deserved peace and good days and giyu had taken those away from him .
" My sister died fighting demons . She was wonderful . Then why did they have to kill her . Demons didn't let her live because she was kind . Why would you do it ? " She said tears shinning in her eyes . Giyu looked at her sadly . Kanae was indeed a wonderful person . She was kind and warm and very respectful . She did die by the hands of a demon but she died protecting people . She died saving others . She died believing that maybe one day it would be alright . " I'm sorry shinobu . About kanae . But I believe I made the right choice back then . Nezuko has proven to be a valid asset to the corps and if we , lose our ability to distinguish between evil and good ,then what's the point of being humans. We humans kill plants and animals for our luxury , then shouldn't we just die too so they can live ? Besides if we don't know what demons are how would we put an end to it . Nezuko is our way to it . If we figure out how to heal her maybe we can save some nice demons and ... You know kill the evil ones . He said because honestly he didn't trust himself to leave every demon out there to live .
Shinobu hated how he was right in some points . The fact remained still that nezuko was a try out . An unsure experiment and that can't be changed . And a satisfying answer is what she needed for it .Giyu tried his best to level his breathing . It still hurts to breath . Felt congested even at some moments . The back pain wasn't much help either and his weakened state did no good either . Here he was sitting in bed trying to reason out how he should proceed . He was a bit mad honestly . Why was his life like this ? Why whenever he tried his best to do something good , breaks hell loose on him ? Why is it so hard to communicate ? He was noticing her every move . The dissatisfied expression , tight lips and clenching jaw . This was going to be long .
Shinobu couldn't believe it . How can he just do that and then try to reason out by saying a few words . Words that didn't give a proper reason . Demons were heartless creatures . They feared no one but their lord and they pity no one . They just take and take to their fill . How was it justifying . Demons eat anyone and everyone that comes into their view . But humans don't kill plants and animals like that . How could tomioka say that bullshit . She could feel her heart hammering in her chest , not with fear but with anger . It all made her blood boil .
" That's no reason for letting a man eating machine to just wander free , just because you made an assumption . I need a proper answer from you . How can you be so full of yourself ? Thinking you are so damn great to make a decision that big . Did you not once think about all the loved ones that have been lost ? She screamed at him . Giyu looked at her with wide eyes , not because he was shocked but because noise wasn't a good part of his life . He hated loud sounds and right now she was being too loud . Her screams made his ears ring and at that moment he wanted nothing but to put an end to it . " I ... I didn't think of those who are gone-" he wasn't done when shinobu punched the bed pot hard . He didn't think of them . She was mad . Very angry . How could he be so selfish .
" How can you so selfish ? You didn't give them one slightest bit or thought ? Did you- ... Oh wait I forgot . It's you . YOU have always been selfish and full of yourself . Shinazugawa and obanai San were always right about you . Damn me for ever trying to talk to you . " Her words full of venom fell heavy in the air . Her eyes full of hatred , looking at him , trying to punch holes into his skull . Giyu was silent . Did they really think he was just full of himself ? He had never been full of himself . How can he ever be when him being alive is because of the many lives lost . How can he be selfish when all he ever dreams about is raw meat and dead bodies surrounding him . How can he be selfish when screams from the past feel too real .
Giyu knew he wasn't an angel . He was twisted . He knew that . Everything that had happened had turned him into something cold and despite being an aloof person he knew he wasn't exactly prince charming . He had his flaws and he was more aware of them then he had ever wanted to be . " Don't have an answer ? Why ? Are we too inferior to even get an answer from you ? Oyakata Sama should have punished you hard . He should have kicked you out just . You betrayed every law by breaking just one law of the slayer corps . And for what ? That demon ? I lost my loved ones ... You get it . We lost them because of them and you let it live . " She barked at him . " We have blood of our loved ones on our hands tomioka . You may not have it but we do and it hasn't washed away properly . The smell of it remains . The feeling of it remains and you ... You don't understand .. nezukos supposed humanity is nothing but a facade . A trap to get us . I understand the stakes but I suppose YOU don't . YOU betrayed us . You have put people in danger just for your SELF SATISFACTION for some feeling of being so called hero . " She finished yelling . Giving him dead stare in the eye .
Giyu didn't look away . He heard her . Every words of it . How she kept her focus on calling him self obsessed and devoid of sympathy for the dead ones . Yes he let her live but not for some stupid reason . He had thought it through . He had followed them to make sure everything was going fine . He was tired honestly . Tired of hearing the hashiras shout at him when he tried to bother them the least . Go on time , keep the mouth shut and leave as soon as possible . Give no reason to hate . Who but him would know what a world so silent yet so loud feels like ? Yes he lost his loved ones . His parents , his sister , his friends . His found family . Everyone . He had lost them all . And it wasn't the demons alone who took them .
His fists tightened around the sheets . He could feel the headache that was making its presence known . He was finding it hard to keep himself calm . The constant yelling and the fact she kept repeating the same thing over and over was annoying . He tried to get a bit comfortable but the sudden needle prick pain shooting through his stomach brought him to the present . Brought him to realise why he was here . She had poisoned him . She poisoned him to get her answers . She did it . And he looked at his hand to see the IV connected . The tightness in his chest was also because of the poison . The fever , the nausea , the extended nightmares to such an extent , they were all because he was poisoned . Not because of his mistake but he was drugged . She drugged him and was now questioning him . Fine she needed answers but they could have been asked some other way . And all the while giyu just now realised that she could have killed him . Yes he was depressed but never enough to just consider dying . Yes he believed that his friends should have lived and not him but the fact was he was the one breathing . The one who was alive . Had he wanted to kill himself he would have done it years ago . And this realisation was the last straw . Giyu felt the anger for every insult thrown at him during the meetings . Every mock shinobu ever made . Every thing she was saying maybe .
" I guess you are just so ... Self serving and- " she was about to say more but giyu just sat up straight , glaring at her . Eyes showing an emotion for the first time ever . Anger burning through those blue sapphires.
Obanai and shinazugawa informed the hashiras about tomioka waking up . Mitsuri was smiling ear to ear . " Omg I am so glad . I was super worried about him . " She said . The others nodded in agreement . All complains aside , no one wished something bad for him . He was broody and very moody . Never talked much either and seemed rude and it was annoying . But he was fellow slayer . Someone who works hard like all of them to keep others safe . He was also risking his life to keep some smiles up even if his own faded . His actions were sometimes questionable but the weren't wrong . He had proved himself with the sweat and blood that he had shed to keep others breathing .
" Now that he is awake we should go there . I will make lots of sakura mochis for him . He would like them . And and dumplings and pancakes as well . " Mitsuri said cheerfully . Obanai internally smiled at her optimism . Well guess fate really wanted tomioka to to spend time with them . If not through their invitations then like this . And perhaps they could ask him too about why nezuko was left to live . " I mean sure but I guess soup and porridge would be best for now . Soft foods mitsuri . He needs soft foods . " Shinazugawa said and mitsuri mentally cursed her excitement . " Oh yes of course . Of course I will make some right away and then we can go . " She said and got up to make the food right away . Once the food was done they all had made their way to the butterfly estate . They had walked in silence . All thinking of the best way to proceed . Every brow was furrowed in worry too as to how he might react to it all . " Well I hope he would like the food atleast . " Mitsuri said and obanai told her that he would definitely while internally planning to murder him if he says otherwise .
" Ah hashira samas , how are you all ? " Aoi greeted them and they greeted her back . With short exchanges of a few words they made their way to giyus room . Closer and closer and they heard shinobu shouting . However they didn't stop to give them space because some words they heard in this all shouting weren't nice . And right now this wasn't about him being selfish . So they didn't stop . Shinazugawa took hold of the door and opened .
" You are just so selfish serving and-" shinobu was speaking but tomioka had suddenly sat up . He looked angry and it was an understatement that his expression was scary . It truly was . And that was the sight that greeted them all .
The way he looked at her gave shinobu shivers down her spine . She wanted to say more but his look was enough to shut her up . Her throat felt suddenly dry and her palms very sweaty . " I-" she started but couldn't form words . She didn't think he would actually sit up like that . Full of anger at ...her . She had officially pushed his buttons down . " I was saying you ... You " she couldn't keep going . Why wasn't he saying something . Little did she know giyu was doing his best not to shout . He was going to speak . Oh indeed he was going to . But he needed to supress the anger enough so as not to shout . But how to speak if he can't shout , it would be all tears . And right now he needed anything but wet anger . The hashiras stood there shocked . They had never seen such anger flowing through his eyes ever . That was something so foreign to their idea of tomioka .
" Don't think I am scared of you ... I still think that you are selfish and- " this time she would have completed her sentence had tomioka not interrupted her . " Enough " thats what he had said . His voice loud . Oh yea had lost it . She just couldn't shut up for a few moments to let him lower his anger . Her continuous bickering got the best of him and he shouted , silencing her up . " Enough okay . I am so tired of your constant nagging . " He started . Uzui had his mouth open on the very first sentence . He never thought tomioka had that backbone in him but here he was being proven wrong .
" How dare you label me letting nezuko live an act of my desire to become some sort of hero . It wasn't some half thought emotional act you hot me . I had reasons . Every reason that I had was not my selfishness . Yes I spared her , and at first it may seem contrary to all the rules and laws of our corps but nezuko despite being turned into a demon showed characteristics which aren't typical to her kind . " He didn't realize but his voice had calmed down a bit . Maybe his outburst was just what he needed to get out to talk properly . " She retained a semblance of her humanity and she restrained herself not only on the day she was turned but two days afterwards of it too . In a temple full of blood and bodies she chose to protect her brother and even when she had the chance she sat in that bamboo basket waiting for her brother . She restrained herself even when shinazugawa cut himself and his blood is what demons crave more than normal blood . But it's not about her restrain is it . It's just about why I let her live . "
Shinobu was thinking of a more logical reply to give . One that could get through him . However she wasn't given a chance . Giyu wasn't done talking . " I have dedicated of what remains of my life to hunting down demons . Yet when she stood Infront of me to save her brother , I saw an opportunity that could potentially benefit our cause . You should have taken up that very opportunity and tested on her blood or something . Maybe we can find demons weakness and perhaps through this their origin or maybe a way to turn back what had been done to them . Year after year we lose members of this corps just because the demons keep evolving and keep getting stronger while we got nothing and nezuko . While sparing her letting her be close to tanjiro could maybe one day prove to be helpful . " He stopped to take a breath .
Giyu could feel his chest tighten . He could feel the fatigue coming over him but not now . He wasn't done . She wanted an answer so she can have one . " I didn't join this corps just to take direct action and kill . I swore to protect and it doesn't always mean to kill , sometimes it involves taking decisions that won't normally make so that we can have a better understanding of something . I stood there holding her and she made no move to attack me . All she did was try to get herself free from my hold until I eventually slammed tanjiro down . I didn't make that bloody decision on FUCKING ONE DAY BASIS . " His volume rose up again . " I followed them for the next three days . I am some lunatic to just randomly make a decision and walk away . I had to make sure to I stayed okay . Four days of being turned into a demon , a temple full of blood and one demon killing later , when urodoraki came , that's when I let my decision play . " He stopped for a moment .
He took a few breaths to try and stabilise himself but he couldn't just . " And don't you dare for a moment say I didn't consider the risks . I did . I considered every risk and I even considered your rejections . I considered every life that I may be putting in danger and that's why I made sure I let someone capable help me decide and I chose urodoraki San . I knew the risks . I knew them well . And yes I didn't think of all those that we have lost for my this decision wasn't going to bring them back . However I can't let my past be the judge of the decisions I make today . ITS NOT A PERSONAL WAR . It's never about one single person and clearly not about making decisions based on the fact how we lost our loved ones. We have lost them and I have lost more not by demons but bh humans themselves so should I go on a spree to kill humans now ? " He said and unintentionally he stood up forgetting the physical pain that he was in .
He lost them . Sabito , tsutako and fellow hunters to demons . But he also lost his parents to sickness and his friends of asylum to torture . Humans had tortured them . They buried them alive , burned them , cut them , sold them and did everything that could have been done to break them . So taking that into account he shouldn't even save humans . " And I am so sorry that you lost your family but I can't let their lives be the reason to stop myself from finding a way out . Wether you like it or not we are humans . We can't regenerate and we can't bring back what has been lost and we are GONE once we die . We can't walk around without brains or hearts in our body but they can and it won't be long before they find a way to live even after being cut by our swords . We have to do what needs to be done and accept it or not nezuko can be your answer . I may be selfish but I am not self centered enough to cause casualty of millions to satisfy my desire of being a hero . " He said and by now he was towering over her petite figure .
Shinobu had her eyes opened wide . She was pushed against a wall and she couldn't even find a way out . Everytime she looked away her eyes would move back to his . Finding the anger still there . She could feel her legs going weak . The hashiras just stood there . No one has expected such an outburst from a quiet person like tomioka but life was surely full of wonders .
He didn't know why but he couldn't bring himself to stop . Years of anger for every reason perhaps . Everything gone wrong in his life . Everything that had never healed . He couldn't stop the next words from coming out . " And how dare you call me selfish and self centered when you , shinobu kocho possess a smile as venomous as your poisons plastered over your face everyday . Maybe for the girls here it may be real but let's be honest that's a facade you are very horrible at keeping . I don't even know how others can fall for it . I have seen you . Before kanae died . You and your anger bursts I have seen it all so don't go around trying to fool me with this smile you try to copy of your dead sister .I am sorry for being rude but that's what it is . And how can any of you judge me ? I may not deserve to be a hashira but I deserve to be in this corps because I swore to protect people the day I lost sabito . I swore to never be a fucking coward again and not to brag but I have worked hard okay . It may not be as good as you all but I would rather give something than nothing at all . And maybe because it's me that you all have more doubts . I know none of you like me but I know how to stand with a colleague atleast . I-" giyu would have continued but the sudden wave of dizziness was enough to stop him for a moment . He placed his hands on the wall for support . He shook his head to clear out his vision but it didn't help much .
Giyu now felt the pain in his legs and back return and he felt light headed yet it seemed his head was a burden on his shoulders . " Uhm I " he tried to think straight but he couldn't . The floor seemed to slip from beneath his feet . " Tomioka ?" Shinobu said as she looked at him Tengen moved closer to see and as soon as he got a look at tomiokas face properly he rushed to stand behind him and carefully held his waist . His this move caused shinazugawa to walk over . Giyu didn't get what was causing the sudden dizziness but he was tired and it was getting hard to stand or even breathe properly . The world was going in and out in flashes . He didn't even realise tengen was holding him . He tried to grab something . Anything to steady himself . " Tomioka you okay ? " Shinobu asked him again this time tapping his face lightly . The anger , the fear everything fading out into worry . Tomioka was taking in heavy breaths . And shinobu finally realised that tomioka was standing and not on the bed and that Tengen was holding him . Shit . She mentally cursed herself .
It was only two minutes but to giyu it felt like eternity of being thrown in a world of swirls . And before he could sort out what was going on the worlds light disappeared into darkness . He fainted . And Tengen very carefully picked him up and took him to bed . Shinazugawa carefully lifted his shirt up . There was no blood so his stitches were fine . He turned to shinobu who gave him a tired smile before checking his vitals and making sure nothing was wrong . " He pushed himself too much . He needs rest . " She said and then pulled the blanket over him . She just stared at tomiokas face . No one made a sound . They all got their answer . And got it well enough sorted too . But it was obvious tomioka wasn't done talking . They didn't know how to proceed forward . And they clearly didn't get why he said he didn't deserve to be a hashira . The questions of who is sabito and who are these people tomioka talked about still remained a mystery but that can all wait . Right now tomioka needed rest to recover .
All the hashiras watched giyuu sleep . For once after days he wasn't moving in his sleep . He didn't have high fever and neither was he calling out to people . He seemed calm . His face was relaxed and he seemed peaceful . No one had it in them to speak after what they witnessed . Tomioka was the silent river that flows by the village but he was also the unforgiving ocean . He was the water hashira . Water that is calm and beautiful like the streams flowing through the paths but also water is the element that brings floods and crashes ships . It is a healer yet it is one of the most horrific killer . And today tomioka proved why water was his element .
Shinobu sat by his bed , holding her head . She felt stupid . Of course this was not a personal matter but she made it into one . Of course he had more experience in killing ( she knew that ) and more experience in understanding demons . She always considered that she was understanding . Angry and serious but understanding . That's what she had always believed . Maybe she was wrong . But most of all she felt stupid . Because tomioka was right , she should have tested nezukos blood by now . She could have had an answer had she tried hard enough . But she didn't . Then again how long could poisons kill demons ? She didn't know . What if one day their blades failed and the poisons no longer worked ? What then ? He was so right . She should have tested and tried to find a way out . She got a brain that could brew deadliest poisons but she didn't use it to the right extent . And now here she was . She didn't know if the master would even forgive her . She didn't know if tomioka would forgive her ...ever . She didn't know where her position stood among the hashiras . Did she lose them as friends even ? This was all stupid . She made a very big mistake and she knew the outcome won't be nice . She knew she failed her sister . She failed as a human . She failed as a colleague . She knew how wrong she was . She looked at giyus face again . She would apologize to him . She would .
They have all lost their loved ones but their loss meant something . Every single one of them knew what it meant to lose their loved one . And they fought for them . Fought to give others a better future . Fought for the right cause . But this wasn't right . Shinobu felt the heaviness in her chest and the sting in her eyes . Im sorry . She knew how many she had put in danger just to find out one answer . Tomioka was right . Nezuko deserved to live . Not only because she was special but because if she wasn't bad , then she deserved a life like every other person . Im sorry . She felt the full weight of her actions . At last she had her answer but it wasn't what she expected .
She imagined that once she had her answer , she would feel satisfied because there wasn't supposed to be a reason to let a demon live but there was a reason . Her shoulders slumped as a sob escaped her lips . Oh god why did it have to come to this . The fact she did this . And that tomioka wasn't exactly in the wrong . He understood what it means to save life more than others perhaps . He wasn't aloof or apathic . He knew what he was doing . He was trying like all of them to move towards a better future . But she hurt him . She brought him to this state where he can hardly stand . And she knew if she was a bit more late he could have died . She saved his life but it wasn't saving . She did this . She was about to kill him for ONE ANSWER . And that's when she felt the warmth on her face . She was crying .
They all saw shinobu cry . All knew what she must be feeling now . They all were feeling it to some extent . Because they all were wrong about him . And they even used to tell him to disappear and that he is nothing but a burden to them but they shouldn't have said that . He is a human too afterall . Humans are full of flaws . They just ignored theirs to highlight his inorder to feel whole just for some moments . And just like that they knew that shinobu was a human too . She made a mistake blinded by her rage . But they knew she didn't mean for this all to happen . However it had happened . And now tomioka was in bed for who knew how long . They all saw him shift in his sleep and watched him vomit in semi-conscious state . Watched him scream and cry out in pain . They saw how human he was just like them all .
Mitsuri could no longer watch this . She walked up to shinobu and held her close . " Shinobu San he will be alright . " She said as she held her tight . Why did she do this to him ? Oh god . " I ...I am ..so-so-sorry . God I am so sorry . " Shinobu cried hard . This time she didn't hide . She didn't run away . She didn't plaster a smile on her face to hide anger or pain or guilt . She cried and grabbed mitsuris haori . " I really am sorry " she cried out more . Mitsuri had started crying too by now as she tried to hush shinobu . Shinazugawa for once wasn't angry at her . He couldn't be mad at her anymore . It was a tragic mistake . This all shouldn't have happened . Obanai moved closer to mitsuri . While Tengen , gyoumi and rengoku stood in silence . Muichiro however moved towards giyuu . He placed a hand on his forehead and lightly tapped it . " Get well soon . Everyone is waiting " he said before walking out of the room . They watched him leave the room and then Tengen , gyoumi and renguko took their leave as well . It may take a while but things would be alright . They all needed to be strong now . Stronger than before and keep the water estate area safe too .
The whole night passed in crying . In realisation of the horror her one move had caused . Shinobu knew she needed to repent . She would do so . She would do better . She won't fail more anymore . That's what she promised herself after the hurt , the anger and the guilt had consumed her . She would make this right . And that is why she was here . At ubayashiki estate . She was here for her punishment . And she would take whatever it would be but she won't back down either from saving people .
She was waiting for the master . She was nervous but she was determined . She was guilty but she was ready to take the responsibility . She laboured her breaths and corrected her haori . " Nii San I will make this right " she said to herself and waited . Ten minutes later the door opened and the master walked in with his wife . Shinobu bowed in respect and the master sat down Infront of her . " Oyakata Sama I'm sorry " she said still bowing down Infront of him . Oyakata however didn't say anything at first . He was hurt that his children were this broken from within . They weren't together and this is how it came to an end . " You didn't do wrong to me . Shinobu why would you do this just ? " He asked her . He was so confused and hurt . He didn't get what caused this all . Shinobu took a deep breath and rose up . Here goes . " I am sorry oyakata Sama . I failed you . I failed us . I failed nii San . I failed everyone close to me just because I was mad . I let my anger take the best of me and it has turned into something so horrible . I really am sorry oyakata Sama . " She felt her chest tighten with the weight of the guilt . She felt the fear settle in again and she felt weak . She was scared for so many reasons just .
" Mad about what just ? " He asked her . Shinobu looked at the master again . He was being gentle with her . He was being understanding even when she had done so much harm . She would make it up no matter what . " I didn't believe that nezuko kamado deserved to live . I believed all demons deserved to die but in my anger I failed to differ the right and wrong oyakata Sama . I was mad at him . That he let her live when I knew that a demon is what took my beloved people from me . I was angry that why he did it and I wanted him to pay for I believed he was harming people like that . I ... I thought he ... He did that all just to feel better about saving someone that could not be saved . I was wrong oyakata Sama . I know I was wrong . But I ... I didn't mean for this to happen . And I know this doesn't change anything but I know I was wrong. I know that nezuko proved us that she won't go after human flesh but I still didn't feel convinced because I kept thinking of how I lost those I loved because of some demons . Nezuko had nothing to do with it all . She is also a victim . She lost her life too . She lost everything . And I failed to see it because of my own personal matters . She stopped and waited for the master to say something .
For some time he didn't speak . Shinobu didn't know what to expect either . " You are aware what your actions have caused . Tell me how can I not punish you ? Tomioka deserves justice . And I can't let this matter slide either . Even thought you know now how wrong you were I can't just let it go . If you don't know how to trust your comrades then i don't know if you truly understand the meaning of standing together as a wall Infront of danger . " He spoke .
" I know I failed ..but give me a chance to make it right . I will do whatever it takes to make this right . I know I was wrong . I will work harder . To understand what it means to protect others with everything I have . And I will work hard to find a way too oyakata Sama . A way to end this all . And tomioka was right nezuko is our step to a victory . I will make sure that nezuko turns back . I WILL DO IT . I WILL not let her suffer . She deserves a life like everyone . I understand it now . I know what my actions have cost and I am truly sorry for it but give me a chance to prove myself again . " She stopped just for a second . She needed to prove herself . " Punish me however you like . May it be physical or public . But don't kick me out of the corps . Let me use my poisons for greater good just like I have done before . Let me heal people . Let me heal tomioka . I will make sure he gets back . Let me be a ray hope for all those hurting . Let me serve to save humanity . " She said and bowed down. She took deep breaths . The guilt was heavy but her determination to change and do right was heavier .
Oyakata sat there . Thinking . He knew he couldn't let it slide for giyuu was in hospital and sick now . Terribly sick . But he couldn't just remove shinobu . Before Her actions were solely to save humans . She had worked hard and lost like everyone else . She had every right to be mad but no longer at giyuu because at the end it was him ( oyakata ) that made the decision to let nezuko live . He can't remove her from missions because that would mean people could die . They needed her for the greater good . But giyuu was in hospital . He needed a middle ground . One of justice .
" Apologise to tomioka and make sure he is alright . That is what you need to do first . " He said and shinobu rose up . Hope flickering in her eyes . " Yes of course I will . I will oyakata Sama . " She said . However oyakata wasn't done yet . " What you have done is entirely wrong . We corps need to stick together . We are one family . One force against cruelty . You need to understand that . And shinobu at the end of the day it was my decision to let nezuko live . I could have ordered to kill her yet I didn't . So you should be mad at me . I am sure tomioka had a reason to let her live and nezuko has proved times and times again how much she loves humans and that she won't harm them . " He stopped to take. Breath and then continued . " You will apologize and shinobu clear this matter out with tomioka . I am removing you from the battle field . You will work for the corps but to research as a way out . You won't pick up a sword again unless you know what you have done but this punishment would come into action once tomioka is back to his duty . Till then we can't lose another hashira . You are no longer allowed to keep poisons in your estate ..they would only be kept and given to you when you would be dispatched on a mission . And shinobu one more incident like this and you would have to pay with your life . " He stopped . The air was heavy around them . " What you have done to tomioka is no joke . He could have died . He didn't deserve it . And if he forgives you someday you may return to the field once again but only after serving the time required for you to understand what your actions have caused . You would also be out into counselling . I hope one day we can stand stronger together but for now leave and make sure tomioka giyuu , the water hashira , gets better . " He said
Shinobu knew she deserved it all but it still hurt . She won't be able to fight demons now ... Not for sometime . And that is if tomioka forgives her only then she can return . But she would make this all right . She would work from behind for the greater good . She would be better . No matter the cost . She bowed and left the estate .
Shinobu directly went to giyus room after reaching back . She watched giyuu sleeping . Yesterday after their fight he did wake up at some point but no one was there except Aoi and by the time aoi told her he was asleep again . She told her that tomioka San didn't want anyone in the room and had asked her to sit in the room because he didn't believe her about not telling anyone about him being awake . He must have wanted some peace . Some time away from her . But mostly he must have wanted it because he hated alot of company . She wanted to wait but she could no longer . She waited the whole night to talk to him but he was sound asleep the whole night . So she shook his shoulder to wake him up . She made sure to shake a bit hard because she wanted to talk .
Tomioka giyuu opened his eyes . His ever so ocean blue eyes . Even after four days of the incident he looked exhausted . All that blood loss hadn't been compensated with IVs . And she couldn't put on too many IVs either . He woke up and looked at who woke him up . Shinobu . Dang . He was tired . Too tired for any fight she wants to have now . He felt weak and put of breath and his throat was dry . Too dry . He looked around . He wanted water . He sat up , the world spinning the moment he made a move . And he fell back in the pillows . His breaths were harsh , big gasps of air . Giyuu clutched his shirt . He was so dizzy just . Tired , dizzy , hot and he couldn't breathe well . He didn't know how after all this time he still was in pain and in this state . He felt pathetic .
Shinobu knew what was happening . She poured a glass of water . " Tomioka San ..here drink some water . " She said and tomioka looked at her . He was holding something . Oh a glass of water . Is it another poison . He didn't want to be poisoned again . Not again . He shook his head . And this time his breaths came more harsh . Why did everyone want to kill him . First the asylum now the corps . And why they always choose water as their medium to poison or dehydrated him . He shook his head and tried to move away but his weak limbs kept betraying him . Shinobu for once realised what this all was about and she felt the guilt flood in again . She would do it . She promised herself . So she grabbed tomiokas wrist and he looked at her wide eyed . He didn't want to be hurt anymore . " It's alright tomioka San . " She said before pouring the water in jug again, mixing it with the water inside the jug . Then pouring it back in the glass and then drinking it herself first . She did it all to tell him that the water was safe to drink .
Giyuu watched her . He watched as she drank the water from the jug . He watched as she filled the glass again and brought it to him . She drank from it . She wouldn't drink poisoned water herself so it should be alright . It is alright . He told himself . Slowly shinobu moved and helped tomioka sit up properly and finally gave him the glass . Still unsure tomioka stared at it but didn't make a move to drink it . Shinobu knew he was distrusting now . She would have done the same . But she hoped he would drink after he saw her drink . But he didn't ..not even when he looked like he would die without water . Just then shinobus luck came in and in that moment Aoi walked in the room . She saw tomioka and shinobu . In that moment shinobu felt great gratitude and she smiled bright . " Aoi come here . " She said and aoi came closer . She took the glass from tomioka and gave it to aoi to drink . She was suspicious but when shinobu asked again she drank the water . The water was safe . And when shinobu filled the glass again and gave it to tomioka he finally took a sip , then another and then gulped the whole glass down . Yet he was still thirsty . Shinobu filled his glass again and he drank that whole as well . It hurts that how much she broke the trust they had between them and it took aoi to finally get him to drink water served by her . But she knew she deserved it . But she would make it right .
she would win his trust back .
After giyuu had drank as much he wanted and once his breaths became a bit laboured he sat up straight . Yes he was still short of breath but he was a bit better at the moment . Shinobu woke him up so he knew he couldnt just sleep back untill she has said what she came for . So he waited for her to say . He just hoped it wasn't another fight . He was too tired , too weak , too nauseous for anything like that .
Shinobu sat down as well . She took a deep breath . " Tomioka San . I am sorry . For everything " she said and waited for him to respond but he didn't . That hurt . She atleast expected an answer . " I really am sorry for hurting you and ... Poisoning you . I truly am sorry . " She started again but again tomioka didn't say anything . Giyu didn't feel like speaking because he didn't believe he could just yet . " I know you are mad at me . And you have every right to be . I deserve your anger and any punishment you give me . I was wrong tomioka San I am sorry . " She bowed her head in an apology . She felt like crying . Because she knew what her actions had caused . Giyuu opened his mouth to say it's alright but couldn't . He just couldn't . He remembered his fight . He remembered her calling him self obsessed and selfish . He remembered that he was poisoned by her but he wasn't just mad at that . This poisoning had triggered something of his past . He was yet again consumed by the darkness of his past . The screams of his comrades . The weight of his failure once again renewed upon his shoulders . The locker rooms and the chains and most of all the poisons that were used . She triggered his last that he had worked so hard to suppress . So he didn't know how to say it is alright when he can barely look at water and food anymore . How can he move when the thought of sabito rings the bells and reminds him of how useless he is and that he should have been the one who died . How is it when shinobu mentioning her sister death drives him back to a memory where his sisters blood coated the walls of room and her wedding dress . He truly wanted to let go of this incident but he couldn't .
He looked down and tried to think of other stuff . But before that he needed to answer her . " I ... I " he started in an attempt to tell her that it was okay and that it was just a mistake but the lump in his throat was too big now . He was once again back in the pages where pain was all he knew yet all he could say was " it's okay " . When he had no power to fight back and when he had friends who laughed innocently in the hallways of that asylum. Giyuu it's okay . For the greater good like you said yesterday let it be behind you . He told himself again and again . " Shinobu ... I ... I guess it's ... Fine . " He said with a trembling voice . It was hard to say that too .why just . Why did people only hurt him ? Why did they hurt him and then expect him to forgive them .
After giyuu had drank as much he wanted and once his breaths became a bit laboured he sat up straight . Yes he was still short of breath but he was a bit better at the moment . Shinobu woke him up so he knew he couldnt just sleep back untill she has said what she came for . So he waited for her to say . He just hoped it wasn't another fight . He was too tired , too weak , too nauseous for anything like that .
Shinobu sat down as well . She took a deep breath . " Tomioka San . I am sorry . For everything " she said and waited for him to respond but he didn't . That hurt . She atleast expected an answer . " I really am sorry for hurting you and ... Poisoning you . I truly am sorry . " She started again but again tomioka didn't say anything . Giyu didn't feel like speaking because he didn't believe he could just yet . " I know you are mad at me . And you have every right to be . I deserve your anger and any punishment you give me . I was wrong tomioka San I am sorry . " She bowed her head in an apology . She felt like crying . Because she knew what her actions had caused . Giyuu opened his mouth to say it's alright but couldn't . He just couldn't . He remembered his fight . He remembered her calling him self obsessed and selfish . He remembered that he was poisoned by her but he wasn't just mad at that . This poisoning had triggered something of his past . He was yet again consumed by the darkness of his past . The screams of his comrades . The weight of his failure once again renewed upon his shoulders . The locker rooms and the chains and most of all the poisons that were used . She triggered his last that he had worked so hard to suppress . So he didn't know how to say it is alright when he can barely look at water and food anymore . How can he move when the thought of sabito rings the bells and reminds him of how useless he is and that he should have been the one who died . How is it when shinobu mentioning her sister death drives him back to a memory where his sisters blood coated the walls of room and her wedding dress . He truly wanted to let go of this incident but he couldn't .
He looked down and tried to think of other stuff . But before that he needed to answer her . " I ... I " he started in an attempt to tell her that it was okay and that it was just a mistake but the lump in his throat was too big now . He was once again back in the pages where pain was all he knew yet all he could say was " it's okay " . When he had no power to fight back and when he had friends who laughed innocently in the hallways of that asylum. Giyuu it's okay . For the greater good like you said yesterday let it be behind you . He told himself again and again . " Shinobu ... I ... I guess it's ... Fine . " He said with a trembling voice . It was hard to say that too .why just . Why did people only hurt him ? Why did they hurt him and then expect him to forgive them .
Shinobu couldn't believe it . Did he say it is fine ? After everything he said it is fine ? How can he ? She hurt him this much and he said it's fine ? She looked at him and for once she saw sadness and pain . He didn't have a stoic impression rather his expression was of pure pain and hurt . Oh no . He wasn't okay . He really wasn't . " Tomioka San . You don't have to forgive me just because you feel compelled to do so . I know what wrong I have done and I take full responsibility for it . I am sorry for causing this much pain to you . Physically and mentally . I truly am sorry . " She said and giyuu looked at her . Was she truly sorry ? Did she mean it ? Was it another trick to hurt him ? He didn't know .
When tomioka didn't say anything shinobu started again . " I know I was wrong . You were right . About everything . Everything you said yesterday was right . I shouldn't have let my dead family members decide my decisions for the future . I promise you tomioka San I would work hard and find a way to end this war . I will do my best . And I am being very honest when I say this but I still need you to know I will never try to harm you or anyone in anyway in future . Please give me a chance to make it all right . Please trust me that I will do no harm to nezuko if she never hurts humans . In fact I will try my best to turn her back . I understand now what it means to truly protect . But I still need you and others to guide me into a better version of myself . I am sorry for calling you selfish and self obsessed when all you ever did was to save humans . I hope in future I can prove myself to you again . " She said and again she waited for tomioka to say anything .
Giyuu sat and stared at his hands . She was apologising to him and talking about trust . Even if he forgives her , can he trust her ? She could be fricking him all along . No giyuu don't be selfish . She must mean it . She is kind under the hard shell . Her smiles may be fake but she cares for others . But she poisoned you . A voice in the back of his head . She lost her sister and it was valid reason to be mad . But you lost tsutako too . Her body wasn't even left in one piece like kanae . Her intestines all- even the voice in his head couldn't continue . He felt sick . He remembered it still . Her organs out on the furniture . On the ground . Tattered body and broken limbs everywhere . His stomach twisted and suddenly giyuu moved to get off bed but he could only turn away from the bed before he threw up . Vomit falling onto the floor . Shinobu stood up quickly and held him right ..stopping him from falling over . Once he was done he collapsed. His whole weight on her arms . She put him in bed with great strength. He looked wasted .. exhausted. What had caused this just . She didn't know but she knew tomioka was far from okay .
And that was her fault .She caressed his hair whispering comforting words . She cleaned his face with a wet cloth and when he got a bit of sense of his surroundings she gave him water to rinse his mouth . He had lowered himself on the bed once he had done that . She still caressed his hair gently . " Tomioka San how are you feeling ? " She asked him and giyuu looked at her all tired . How was he feeling just ? He didn't know how to explain it . " Are you in any pain ? Is it hard to breathe ? Do you need more water ? " She asked him and giyuu shook his head lightly . She smiled at him . A very gentle smile . She was hoping that he was telling the truth . But hope id actually all she can do because she knew he no longer trusted her .
Giyuu watched her . She seemed harmless right now but even venous fly trap seems harmless to a fly before it gets trap inside it. He wanted her gone . He wanted to sleep . But she was sitting beside him and he was on edge just by her presence . " Tomioka San I wanted to ask you somethings . Please help me understand them " she said and giyuu once again felt himself feeling knots in his stomach . Not again please . He tried to prove his point yesterday but he doesn't have the strength anymore . He really doesn't . He was so tired . He really was . " Can you tell me who sabito is ? You called out to him several times in your sleep " she asked . Slowly shinobu . Go there slowly . But what did shinobu know that even this question wasn't of small value for giyuu . Just tell her but make it vague giyuu . He told himself . " A friend of mine " he said " he died during selection while saving me and some others . " He paused and he doesn't know why but ... He felt like saying more . Maybe it was to praise sabito . To give him the praise he deserved or was it the guilt of living on when he should have died in his place . " He was a wonderful swordsman . Strong and amazing . He would have been a wonderful hashira . " Tomioka said and by now he could feel sleep coming to him again . He was too lethargic to stay awake for longer periods of time just . But shinobu was here . And she was talking again . Half of which didn't make sense to him . " His death will not go in vain tomioka San . Nd look you are a hashira . He saved you so you could save others one day . " Shinobu said a bit of cheerfulness in her voice . But giyuu just shook his head . No not again .he can't live this lie . He doesn't deserve it all . He just doesn't . Sabito died because of me . " No I ... No ... Sabito should have lived . He ddbjs shoulddbd have liveddd " by now giyus words were slurring as his exhausted mind was battling sleep to make sense . " I I shhhould ha...have bebeeen the one ooo d-die . " He said and shinobu stared at him . She couldn't believe he just said that but little did she know that tomioka was no longer aware of who he was talking to anymore . He was too out with exhaustion. " Why do you say that ? " She asked him . Saying each word of her question as slowly as she could for him to understand . She waited and once again he started . " Be-cux I -i faint... He saved ... All Nd I ...I seven days ... I wake up and he ... He was dead." He said . Was tomioka this tired . Well what was she thinking of course he was . The drug affected his brain and his vital organs and he just had his whole body opened only four days ago . He is even short on blood right now . just then the door slid open and this brought her out of her thoughts . It was obanai and shinazugawa . They walked in and found vomit on floor and giyuu holding onto shinobus haori . At first they thought he was asleep but then they saw his moving lips . " He is awake ? " Obanai asked and she was about to say no because she thought he had fallen asleep but when she looked down she realised tomioka was still talking . " Should ha-ve been SSS a hasssshhira . I ... I donnn deserve to-be here . Sabito... Shod h-aave be the one becux I never passssed th-he selectionnnn . I fain-ted Nd survivedrdd Nd he di-. " He said and that was all he managed to say before sleep overtook him . shinobu looked at the other two . They all just heard tomioka say something . It was slurred a bit but what they comprehended was that tomioka said he didn't deserve to be there because he never passed the selection and that sabito died ? Oh boy . A new mystery .