Chapter 8:
Space Pirates
MY FIFTIETH BIRTHDAY was approaching—the age at which people
were considered adults in this world. Though I still looked like a kid, I was at
the threshold of an important milestone. I'm about to become an adult, but it
took half a century to get here.
At this age, I finally asked myself, "I was reincarnated into a science
fiction world, so why the hell am I spending all my time cooped up in this
mansion?"
"You are able to get an appropriate amount of exercise inside the
mansion, and here you remain safe," Amagi replied matter-of-factly. She had
ignored the whole "reincarnation" part, which I found impressive. "It would
be more of a problem for you to leave."
Is she mad about that time I wanted to go out and pick up some girls? I
didn't even go through with it, though. Seriously, what am I gonna do? If I
want to become an evil lord, I should be gulping down booze while beautiful
women wait on me hand and foot. What else?
It feels wrong to drink it in this body, and it doesn't taste good anyway.
I'm still developing, so I don't want to ruin that. Also, Amagi makes it hard
for me to look at other women. If the ideal woman is always at your side, you
end up comparing other people to her. Plus, it's not like there's any issue
with not having women around. Maybe there's no reason to go to all that
effort?
"No. I'm going to become an evil lord. I can't just give up here."
"Is that so? I have to say, I do not know how to react to that statement.
What sort of things do you intend to do?"
"Uh, raise taxes and exploit my people?" Evil lords are all about high
taxes, right? That should be foremost, I think.
"Our revenue would increase temporarily, but you would lose money
in the long run, so I cannot recommend it. We can raise taxes judiciously, if
necessary, but if our administration of the planet backslides, it will impact
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our debt repayment plans."
At times, it's better to lower taxes and get people buying more to
increase revenue. There's nothing to be gained from forcing people to pay
more taxes. No, wait... We're not just talking about economics here! I want
to trample people underfoot! I don't want anything taken from me—I want to
do the taking!
"I don't want to hear your reasonable opinions. I want to take stuff for
myself, with authority and violence!"
That's right. I am the one who takes, and my people are there to be
taken from. Forget about tax revenue!
"First off, I'll go find some beautiful women and bring them to the
mansion. I'll stop nitpicking about fashion for now and just dress them up
how I like once they're here."
Amagi cocked her head to one side. What? What's the problem? Is she
mad? W-well, I'm not giving up on this.
"Got a problem, Amagi? I'm doing it anyway! Find some beautiful
women in my domain!"
Her response caught me off guard. "Master, aside from those in
technical positions, appearance was factored into selecting the people who
work in the mansion. They were handpicked from across your domain."
"Huh?"
"The mansion is already full of beautiful women. They have long since
been found."
When that sank in, I pictured the people who worked here. It was true:
there were handsome men and beautiful women all around me. Now that I
thought about it, all the maids who saw to my needs were gorgeous.
Seeing the consternation on my face, Amagi asked, "Shall I select
someone to...attend to you?"
"No, I'm not really in the mood. Wait, huh? I can do that?"
I couldn't hide my surprise. Is that really allowed? What, I could have
just done whatever I wanted this whole time? I mean, I totally wanted to! I
might have already if Amagi hadn't been around.
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"It is something taken into account when hiring staff. If you would
prefer a man, I can arrange for that as well."
"Not for me, thanks."
Do you think I'm interested in men? Anyway, it's no fun having my way
with women if I'm entitled to it. The fun is in compelling them!
"Then I'll bring some entertainers here from around my domain! What
I really want is to make someone submit to me."
"Master, your domain does not yet have a robust entertainment
industry. Also, I doubt that a summons from you would make many people
upset. You are the best possible patron on this planet. Would you like to
bring people in from outside your domain? To be frank, I think many of them
would also come happily."
Outside? Like, from other territories?
"I want to enjoy being the king of my own kingdom—people from
outside wouldn't be my subjects! It could be bad if they snuck off afterward
and told others what I was doing."
I don't want to start any conflicts with other territories when I don't
have enough power yet. I'll wait until I'm stronger to do that. You can't be an
evil lord without cunning.
"Please do not worry, Master; you are the ruler of House Banfield. You
already are the king of your own kingdom."
I mean, I know that, but that's not what I mean! Dammit... Is it really
this hard to be an evil lord?
"None of my plans are going anywhere. What am I supposed to do?
Why is my goal to go down the path of evil, debauchery, and female servants
so impossible to achieve?"
Then, Amagi reminded me of the root of the problem: "I suppose it is
difficult to live extravagantly with such a large debt."
No matter how much progress my domain makes, as long as I have this
debt hanging over me, I can't do as I please. But if I slow down any more on
repaying it, the collectors are gonna be pissed, and if they see I'm living it up
while I owe them so much, they'll get serious and come after me.
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Suddenly I'm remembering the fear I felt in my past life.
"Dammit... Isn't there some easy way for me to repay it?"
"I am afraid there is little to be done about that. We should continue to
pay it back diligently. If they see that we are making an effort, they will not
press us to pay more than we can afford."
That was when I received an emergency transmission from Brian.
"Why not just report to my office?" I authorized the transmission and
an image appeared in the air before me.
"Master Liam, it's terrible! P-p-p-pirates have declared war against
House Banfield!"
That's awfully formal of them, considering they're pirates.
"Pirates, notifying us of war, Amagi. Isn't that decent of them?"
"It is just as decent of you to diligently repay your debts even though
you aim to be an evil lord, Master."
"Well, those debts are crippling me, so I've taken care of 'em."
"A valid point. As for the matter of the pirates, if they are declaring
war, they must be quite unintelligent...or perhaps the exact opposite."
Completely confident, in other words.
***
In my domain loomed a government administration building. Unlike
my mansion, it was a high-rise, towering over its surrounding buildings
ostentatiously to express my prestige.
The officials who governed my domain worked there, and I visited
every so often. Being the highest man on the totem pole, I usually just had
them come to my mansion if they needed me for something. Since most of
our correspondence was remote, it had been a long time since I'd physically
come to the government building.
They really didn't have to build this thing so huge.
All the important people in my domain were gathered there in a
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meeting room, discussing the pirates' declaration of war and their demands.
These officials in suits nervously went over the details.
"The pirates are demanding that we hand over all of our wealth, along
with some attractive men and women."
I studied the list of precious metals they wanted and determined we
couldn't produce what they were asking for. And they only wanted good-
looking people for their hostages? That pissed me off. Why the hell should I
have to hand over my property to them?
"Lord Banfield, should we try to negotiate with the pirates so we can
take care of this peacefully?"
The military brass participating in the meeting didn't like the weak-
willed attitude of the government officials. They didn't want to concede
defeat to the pirates.
"We're up against Goaz! He's got a huge bounty on his head!"
Apparently, this pirate threatening us was a big-time villain. If we
managed to take down his whole fleet, we could obtain an unimaginable sum
of money.
I wonder what the guy did to get such a huge bounty placed on him.
The blood of the military men began to boil as the official's eyes
turned ice-cold.
"Can you win? If we scrounge together House Banfield's entire
fighting force, it's eight thousand ships. Goaz commands a fleet of thirty
thousand!"
"Numbers aren't everything—our forces are experienced and well
equipped! Besides, do you really think they're just going to let us be if we
give up and surrender?"
"Are you sure you're not just planning to escape by yourselves? All
you have to do is get in your ships and leave."
"How dare you!"
As their argument grew heated, I contemplated Goaz's bounty. It
wasn't actually that much for a count like me. A decent amount of money,
sure, but it wasn't going to bury me in riches. What a shame.
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I sighed. "If the bounty were a little higher, I'd be a little more
motivated."
Nobody paid attention to my muttering, the argument still raging.
Suddenly, the clamor around me abruptly cut out. I looked up and was
confronted with a strange sight. All the people who had just been arguing so
fiercely were now frozen in place, not moving an inch. It was as though time
had come to a halt.
For a second, I thought maybe it was just some sort of prank, but they
wouldn't have been stupid enough to pull that with me. I'd kill them if they
did. I'll never let anyone make a fool of me. While I was thinking that, I heard
an old, familiar voice.
"Well, hello."
"It's you!"
"Allow me to take a moment of your time. Stopping time is pretty
tiring, incidentally. Anyway, it's been a while, hasn't it, Liam?"
Nostalgia welled up in me when I saw the Guide, unchanged from how
he'd looked before I was reincarnated. However, there was a more pressing
matter at hand than the exchange of pleasantries.
"Long time no see. By the way, what's going on here? I'm being
attacked by pirates."
Weren't you supposed to be making me happy? I left that part implied.
The corners of the Guide's mouth tugged up in a smile. "You've
misunderstood my intentions. This is a present for you, Liam."
"A present?"
"Yes. You're soon reaching adulthood in this world, correct? I wanted
to grant you some prestige as a noble before then. Plus, you're saddled with a
bit of a debt here, isn't that true?"
That was true, but it pissed me off, so I gave him a bit of a grouchy
answer. I wanted him to understand that I'd had a hard time because of him.
"Yup. And thanks to that, I haven't been able to do what I want here. It
would've been nice if you'd placed me in a wealthier family. So why'd you
pick this place?"
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The Guide looked a bit remorseful. "Please allow me to apologize for
that. In order to correct this situation, I've invited some pirates with a sizable
fortune to your territory. If you defeat them, all their treasure will be yours."
"Treasure, you say?"
The Guide stepped closer, rubbing his hands together. "Yes, that's
right. If you take them down, you'll obtain fame and ample fortune. The
leader of these pirates holds an incredible treasure, and I sent him your way
so you could have it."
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm looking forward to that, then."
I smiled at him, and the Guide grinned back, though I found it
unsettling.
"I'm glad you understand. Those pirates are no match for you as you
are now, Liam. So, now that I've followed up with you, I'll just be going."
Raising the brim of his top hat, the Guide bowed deeply, and a door
appeared behind him. As usual, I couldn't see any part of his face other than
his mouth.
"Thanks for coming all this way."
For a second, it looked like the smile had disappeared from his face,
but it quickly returned.
"All part of the job."
The Guide passed through the door and closed it after him, then it
vanished.
A moment later, the loud argument around me blasted back into
motion. Now that time had resumed, it seemed ridiculous to me that these
guys were so afraid of these pirates, who I now knew were a nice little
present for me.
When I stood up from my seat, all the eyes in the meeting room turned
to me.
"I think this is a great opportunity for me to experience my first battle.
Get everything ready—I'm going to crush Goaz."
At my pronouncement, the officials and the soldiers began to panic.
They had just been at odds a moment ago, but now they seemed to share
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some sort of understanding. They probably hadn't been expecting that I'd
want to engage the pirates myself.
"Lord Banfield, that's reckless. These are renowned pirates. There are
even former knights in their ranks, but House Banfield doesn't have a knight
to its name. The pirates' forces easily surpass ours."
We boasted no families who had served House Banfield for
generations, nor new retainers recruited from elsewhere. There were likely no
knights who felt there was any benefit in serving House Banfield. But, I told
myself, this wasn't a problem. If the Guide had arranged it, there was no way
I could lose.
"Be that as it may, I said I'm doing it. All you have to worry about is
getting everything ready for me. I've given you an order. Now, hold your
objections and follow my command."
The military men still seemed a little displeased, but the officials had
all gone quiet, remembering the purge I'd carried out several years ago.
That's right, just shut up and do what I say. If you listen to me, I'll use
you well. And if you don't—you'll die.
"Gather up all the fighting power you can. I'll be piloting the Avid."
One of the soldiers—a commander from the force pulled from the
Imperial Army—still had an objection.
"It's too dangerous for you to fight, lord. We should wait for
reinforcements from the Imperial Army. Please wait planetside—"
"Wait for reinforcements? Will they make it in time?"
We had in fact requested aid from the Empire, but it would take time
for them to amass a force and send it out here to the sticks. I couldn't imagine
they'd arrive before the pirates attacked.
"I imagine it will be close, but if we have any hope of winning, our
only option is to wait for reinforcements."
I'm not gonna just sit here and wait for help. Plus, if the Empire shows
up, my share of the treasure will decrease.
"We can't wait for aid that may not even make it in time. If we don't
engage the pirates, they'll just destroy us. I would rather go on the offensive.
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Just carry out my orders, all of you—we're doing some pirate hunting. I was
looking for an opportunity to take part in my first battle anyway, so this
works out perfectly."
It's fun playing a game when you know you'll win. No, this isn't even a
game—it's a one-sided hunt. These pirates have come bearing prestige and a
lavish treasure that's mine for the taking. Let's go greet them.
"Begin the offensive."
***
In the mansion, Brian was having a hard time remaining calm.
"The Avid has arrived at the spaceport," Amagi reported to him. "It
will be loaded onto the same ship Master is boarding."
Brian doubled over, head between his hands, bemoaning the misfortune
that had come to House Banfield. The family had finally found a good ruler
in Liam, but with his reign just beginning to bloom, a notorious pirate gang
had flown in to attack their planet.
"What ill fortune—the planet was finally regaining its former vitality.
Why have these terrible space pirates chosen now of all times to attack?"
Amagi showed no outward signs of anxiety, but she seemed concerned
for Liam at the very least.
"We have not lost yet. Master's decision was the right one. Based on
records of this pirate gang's previous conquests, surrender would be
meaningless. Additionally, we received a message that the Empire will be
dispatching the regular army."
Brian shook his head. Even hearing that the regular army was coming
didn't comfort him.
"They won't make it. By the time they put a force together and send it
out here, it will all be over."
When dangerous pirates entered Empire territory, provincial lords
called on the Empire for help, but House Banfield was far into the outskirts.
In his mind, he could imagine the flow of events: the pirates would wreak
havoc on their planet, and only after they left would the Imperial Army
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arrive.
"House Banfield was finally...finally getting back on its feet," he
lamented. "If Lord Liam had just been born one hundred years earlier, he
would have been able to repel these invaders."
The arrival of the pirates bitterly vexed Brian, who had been looking
forward to Liam's future achievements. If only Liam had had more time to
bolster his forces, his victory against the pirates would've been assured.
***
At House Banfield's spaceport, the Guide watched as Liam's fleet
assembled. He stood on the main structure's outer wall, smiling as he looked
down at the men hurriedly preparing for battle.
"I'm so glad you liked my present. As for me, I'll be just thrilled if the
pirates capture you and have their way with you."
The Guide hadn't informed Liam that the Goaz Pirate Gang possessed
far greater fighting strength than the average space pirate fleet, or that there
was a secret to the treasure he had mentioned. That small box was the source
of Goaz's fortune—the reason for his strength. Goaz had amassed an
imposing force due to this treasure, and while their training might not have
matched that of a proper military, they were far better equipped than a typical
pirate gang. In fact, their equipment rivaled that of the Empire's regular
army. The Guide had informed Liam of exactly none of this.
"It's your fault for believing in me. You didn't learn a single thing in
your past life, did you? Turns out you're nothing but a fool after all, destined
to be a toy for others to mess with."
With their superior numbers, the pirates had an overwhelming
advantage in this fight. Liam's chance of besting them was infinitesimally
small. Scowling, the Guide recalled his conversation with Liam.
"I can't believe he thanked me. I look forward to seeing his face later.
Soon, his gratitude will turn to resentment and his smile will warp with
hatred. That's sure to satisfy me, at last."
He was eagerly awaiting Liam's fall from grace.
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Behind him, a small light that had been keeping watch over him left his
side and headed for the Avid, which had been stowed aboard the battleship.
This small light entered the Avid, making sure the Guide didn't notice.
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Unaware of this, the Guide spread his arms. "Oh, I do so look forward
to watching this play out. Now, Liam, it's finally time for you to learn the
truth! Please entertain me, won't you?"
Why had he reincarnated Liam into this life? Why had Liam's previous
life been so miserable? The Guide could hardly wait to inform Liam of the
answers to these questions.
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