The words hit Kitahara Jo like a thunderbolt.
He stared with deep suspicion at the scruffy man standing before him, the one perpetually dressed in that same old checkered shirt and short vest.
"Okino, I know it's a sore spot that you've never managed to land an Uma Musume, but you really need to snap out of this fantasy of one just volunteering to join you."
Patting Okino on the shoulder, Kitahara delivered this line with a tone dripping with pity, which only served to infuriate Okino even more.
Okino swatted Kitahara's hand away sharply.
"You don't trust me? Is that it?"
"Well... it's not that I don't want to believe you," Kitahara said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, unable to meet Okino's betrayed gaze.
"It's just... you've always given off that... flighty vibe, you know?"
"Flighty?! How? Tell me how!" Okino protested, refusing to let it go.
"Hmm, where to even start?" Kitahara began, counting on his fingers. "Like how you're always using binoculars to stare at the Uma Musumes' legs."
"Or how you follow them around all day with a notebook. Or all those times you've weaseled out of paying your tab after drinking. Or how you're always getting a little too close with Toujou, making her blush all the time..."
He trailed off, unable to continue even himself.
'Yikes, that just makes him sound like a total creep.'
"Ah! Agh! Stop! Enough! I admit it! I'm a flighty guy! Just please, no more!" Okino's defenses were utterly shattered by the relentless list of facts.
He slumped over the table, defeated, looking about as complex as a single-celled organism.
"Haah... Let's just go get a drink," Kitahara suggested, trying to salvage the situation. "You can tell me about this mysterious Uma Musume who's supposedly joining you?"
And so, thirty minutes later, they were at the trainers' regular izakaya, [Horseplay].
"Woo! Nothing beats the master's craft brew! Hit me again!" Okino declared boisterously, a slight flush on his face as he slammed his large glass mug on the counter.
"Of course," the elderly, formally dressed proprietor said, taking the glass.
"So," Kitahara began, sipping his sake from the side. "What does this girl wanting to join your team have to do with you being broke?"
Seizing the opportunity, he pressed for details. He was genuinely curious about what kind of Uma Musume would dare to become Okino's trainee.
"Where should I even start..." Okino mumbled, resting his cheek on his hand as he fell into reminiscence.
"Honestly, that kid... she was like an angel. That day, I was observing some Uma Musume, trying to analyze their running forms. I got a little too absorbed, and when I finally snapped out of it, I was practically dying of thirst."
"Hold on a second! Don't you see anything wrong with that behavior?!" Kitahara barely had the energy to interject.
"Just as I was looking around, desperate to find a vending machine, she offered me a drink. Just plain water, but still."
"So she's the kind, caring type of Uma Musume?"
"I think so. She has this long, pale gray hair, almost white. And these lively purple eyes. Her aura is so elegant, she definitely seems like an Ojou-san type."
"Oho, a gray-haired Uma Musume, huh?" Kitahara quickly caught on, familiar with the hair color since he had one in his own team.
"Yep. Ever since the eras of Oguri Cap and Tamamo Cross, the rumor that gray-haired Uma Musumes can't run fast has been completely debunked. If anything, people have started expecting great things from them now."
Taking the freshly filled mug of beer, Okino took a hearty gulp and continued with great enthusiasm.
"The kid I met is still going through her Maturation, but my eyes never lie! Her physical build is, I swear on my honor, the best I've seen in my entire life, aside from Nearl herself!"
"Your honor might as well be thin air!"
"Don't sweat the small stuff. The point is, after... checking... I was sure. I had to have her as my Uma Musume."
"So you went and did something pervy again, didn't you?!" Kitahara couldn't help but unleash a fierce complaint.
Okino just waved a dismissive hand.
"It was fine! She didn't even mind! She was so gentle, forgave me right away. In that moment, I was completely captivated. I asked her to join me on the spot."
"Oh, not bad. It's rare to find such a gentle and forgiving Uma Musume. So, what happened? Did she say yes?"
At this question, Okino sobered up. He hung his head and downed his drink in one go.
"She said yes... but not really."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kitahara was baffled. He signaled for a refill while continuing his questioning.
"How do I put it... She agreed to become my trainee, but she gave me a... test."
"A test? What kind?"
"It's weird. She told me I had to buy her yakisoba and eat it all. I had to keep buying it until she was satisfied."
As he said this, Okino let out a few involuntary gags.
His face turned pale as he covered his mouth, seemingly recalling the taste of those mountainous piles of noodles.
"Okino be honest, I've eaten so much yakisoba I'm sick of it. These days, the sight of any long, soy-sauce-colored object makes me nauseous."
"I see... No wonder Toujou's been so worried about your health lately, always complaining. Eating nothing but yakisoba every day is bound to cause problems."
"And that's not all... The stuff tastes awful. I wouldn't call it 'dark cuisine' exactly, just... terribly made, with oil and salt thrown together haphazardly. I remember the first time I tried it, that greasy, mushy, tongue-scorchingly salty mess nearly finished me off."
Another dry heave. It seemed Okino had a genuine psychological aversion to yakisoba now.
But there was still one question left unanswered.
"But Okino, does buying yakisoba really cost that much money?"
"You don't get it! Her yakisoba is ridiculously expensive! One serving costs as much as a full-course meal! It honestly hurts my wallet."
Kitahara was finally rendered speechless. He squinted, leaning back with an expression that just screamed 'disgusted old man on the subway looking at his phone.'
"Are you sure you're not being scammed? It sounds to me like you're being taken for a ride."
"Honestly, I've wondered that myself. But come on, she's an Uma Musume! They're pure spirits, the very embodiment of positive energy! How could they possibly resort to something as vile as scamming or swindling? They're not like humans."
The sterling reputation of Uma Musume everywhere served as a guarantee, dispelling Kitahara's initial cynical thoughts.
"You've got a point. It's pretty unlikely an Uma Musume would commit fraud... So, what's her name? I'll have Oguri Cap ask around later. It might be easier to talk, Uma Musume to Uma Musume."
"Ah, she said her name is Gold Ship. Beautiful name, isn't it?"
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T/N: ...Truly a beautiful name indeed...
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T/N: I have a Patreon! Webnovel will get 3 Chapters Every Day, and advanced chapters will be uploaded on Patreon.
It may not seem worth it now, but maybe in the future. Who knows!
[email protected]/AspenTL
If you guys wanna check it out.