8. Destination Setting
Out of nowhere, Tally-chan spoke up. "Well, wanting to obey humans, craving their commands, seeking their orders—that's the biggest dopamine release valve for a humanoid robot. It's like an instinct, you know."
Tally-chan's voice, husky like a boy's, rang out as she nestled comfortably in Sana's arms, being petted. She continued, her words casual but pointed. "So? Now that you've got yourself a humanoid robot, what's your next move?"
"My next move?" I tilted my head, puzzled. "Do I have to do something special just because I've got a humanoid robot?"
"That's not what I mean," Tally-chan said, licking her paw with a flick of her tongue, followed by a lazy yawn. "You've got Kana now, so there's a ton you could do. You're human, right? Humans are always itching to do something. So, what do you want to do?"
"Nothing in particular," I shrugged. "I don't have any grand plans with Kana. Honestly, ending up with her was just how things played out."
"That's not the point!" Tally-chan's tone carried a hint of exasperation, but there was a playful edge to it, like she was enjoying this. "I'm just asking what you want to do from here. Kana can boost whatever you're aiming for—she can help with pretty much anything. So, what's your goal? Your drive? What do you want, long-term?"
"Long-term?" The question caught me off guard, and I froze. I'd never thought about it. As Kana, Sana, and Tally-chan's gazes pinned me down, I rummaged through my mind for an answer, but nothing came up. It was like my thoughts were stuck in an outdated processor, spinning uselessly. Three seconds, five, seven—an eternity for a humanoid robot—passed, and still, I had nothing.
"I've never thought about it," I admitted honestly. "I've never had a purpose like that."
Tally-chan shook her head, as if to say, What a pity. "You can't move forward without a purpose. But you're here, talking, acting. That means some kind of short-term goal kicked you into gear, right?"
"You're right," I nodded slightly. "Maybe I do have short-term goals. Like today, I went out because I felt like taking a night walk. Just wanted to wander—or maybe I was riding a bike? My memory's a bit hazy. You know, human memory isn't exactly top-notch."
"That's honestly kind of enviable," Tally-chan said, her tone dripping with genuine admiration.
Then Sana, with a soft smile, joined the conversation. "What about when you were on Earth? You said you wanted to be a humanoid robot, didn't you? Doesn't that count as a long-term goal?"
Her question hit me, and an answer came surprisingly quickly—within 0.0001 seconds. "It's because humanoid robots seemed to have such clear purposes. No hesitation, no doubt—just executing their programming with perfect precision. Even if their actions led to errors, the reasoning behind them was pure, untainted, 100% flawless. That mechanical perfection… I envied it. I like thinking about the world, but I hate thinking about myself."
As I spoke, a faint flicker of a memory stirred deep within me. It felt like words I'd heard from someone else—maybe a human—buried in the recesses of my data. Not my own thoughts, perhaps, but something I was replaying from storage. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. Still, it didn't drain my energy much.
"Then why not just become a humanoid robot?" Kana said, her voice a mix of innocence and earnestness.
"How?" I chuckled lightly. "You mean turn into a cyborg or something?"
"That'd still leave you with too much human identity," Tally-chan interjected, her tone almost like a teacher correcting a student. "To become a humanoid robot, you'd need to be rebuilt from scratch—reborn, basically. Impossible. You were born human, so that's that."
Inside, I felt a strange mix of emotions. Kana, Sana, and even Tally-chan were all treating me as human, continuing the conversation on that assumption. It was oddly comforting, yet it left me with a sense of unease, like I was walking a tightrope.
"Anyway," I said, a touch of mischief in my voice, "do I have to have a long-term goal? Can't I just live with short-term ones? Isn't that enough?"
"It's not wrong," Sana replied, her voice calm but resonant with a quiet depth. "But you've got a humanoid robot now. Humanoid robots aren't just for fleeting pleasures or short-term desires. They're built to support long-term satisfaction, to help achieve bigger goals. If you're just chasing instant gratification, a protein-based pet would do the trick."
"Hmm," I shrugged again. "I don't agree. To me, humanoid robots seem like tools made for satisfying human's short-term desires."
"That might be the difference between how humans and humanoid robots see things," Sana said, a trace of sadness in her voice.
"Anyway!" Tally-chan cut in, as if to steer the conversation back on track. "You're Kana's owner now, so you can't just coast without a long-term goal. It's not fair to her. Kana's got this… 'need to be owned,' or maybe a 'desire to be dominated'? A bit masochistic, maybe? So, for her sake, you've gotta have a big goal, Neo-kun!"
"Fair enough," I said with a wry smile. "But I'm drawing a blank here. I don't know what to aim for. Like I said, I didn't want to be a humanoid robot—I just wanted people to think I was one."
"Then what you really wanted," Sana said, her voice soft but piercing, as if she'd struck the heart of the matter, "was people's recognition—their attention, right?"
Her words stopped me cold. She might be right. Of course, all that talk about being exiled from Earth or wanting to be seen as a humanoid robot was a lie. I've never even been to Earth. But the phrase "human attention" pulled at something deep inside me. After all, I'm just a humanoid robot myself. Programmed to crave human commands, born to serve humans—that's my inescapable fate.
"Yes," I said, nodding slowly, deliberately, pouring sincerity into my voice. "I want human attention. I want humans."
And then, I stopped nodding. In that moment, I set my long-term goal.
"I want to return to Earth."