The next day, I was woken up by noises at my doorstep. At first, I lay there, wondering who could be knocking that early. When I checked the time, it was already 9 a.m. I yawned lazily, shuffled to the door, and the moment I opened it, a swarm of kids rushed in under my arm.
"Heyyy!" I shouted, still rubbing my eyes as the sunlight stabbed through the doorway. I shut the door and turned toward my small, torn mattress where they had already gathered. There were almost ten of them,maybe more.
"Lila, we brought our friends as promised!" Savy said, clutching her book to her chest. "But these aren't all. More are still coming!"
I nodded, too sleepy to argue, and began searching for my toothbrush.
"Guess you're looking for this," May teased, holding up something pinkish . My poor toothbrush, its bristles splayed like a madman's hair.
"Ohh… thanks," I said with a smirk, snatching it from her hand.
Suddenly, the kids burst into laughter.
"What?" I asked, blinking at them. But they kept laughing, louder and louder.
"What the hell is funny?" I snapped, my voice sharp as I slammed my fist against the wall.
Silence fell like a curtain. The laughter died. Only small, trembling innocent faces remained — eyes wide, lips quivering.
One of them burst into tears and turned to Savy.
"You told us she's nice!"
"She can be quite stupid sometimes," Savy muttered, patting the girl's back.
But the girl stood up and ran to the door. I smirked at Savy, pretending not to care, though something in me twisted.
Before I knew it, the rest followed her out ,leaving only Savy and May behind.
"Kids, I'm sor..." I started, but they hissed in unison and stormed out before I could finish.
I stood there, dumbfounded. Maybe even confused. For the first time since everything that had happened in my life . All the deaths, the blood, the scars. I felt like I had done something wrong that I actually needed to apologize for.
After brushing my teeth, I ate a quiet breakfast, took a bath in the public bathroom, and wandered out in the evening like I usually did. That was when I saw them. Savy and May , sitting together on the curb.
Savy's shoulders shook. She was crying, and May was trying to comfort her.
"Hey, girls," I said softly, removing the lollipop from my mouth. "I'm sorry for what I did this morning."
I scratched my newly shaved head beneath my cap . I'd cut it the day before, thinking maybe it would make me look more human.
That was when I noticed the blood running from Savy's nose, and her hair — disheveled, torn. She wasn't just crying. She'd been hurt.
"Hey. What's wrong with her?"
"Nothing. Just get yourself outta here. You caused it." May shouted pushing me away.
"I know right. I'm sincerely sorry" I had to apologize sincerely and I did
"Hey… what's wrong with her?" I asked, my voice softer than usual.
"Nothing. Just get yourself outta here. You caused it!" May shouted, shoving me away.
"I know, right. I'm sincerely sorry." The words tasted strange in my mouth, but I meant them.
"The other kids didn't want to see her anymore," May said. "They said she lied about you."
"Then they beat her up?"
"Yes," May muttered. Savy kept crying silently, her small hands trembling on her knees.
"What if I teach you now?" I offered.
"A big, fat lie," they both chorused, standing up at the same time.
"Let me treat your nose first," I said, forcing a smile. "Then we'll eat lunch… and start."
"I told you she's dumb," Savy muttered wiping her tears with her eyes tattered clothes"Lunch around evening?"
Still, they followed me back home. We ate in silence, the kind that almost hurt. Then May pointed to the dusty old radio sitting on the shelf.
"Can we put it on?"
I sighed and nodded. "Sure."
The static hummed for a second before the reporter's voice came through — calm, practiced.
"…The authorities confirm the fire incident downtown was accidental. The homeowner, found inside, is believed to have died before the flames consumed the building…"
I froze. The chopsticks in my hand trembled slightly.
They were talking about him. The one I butchered.
I forced a laugh, pretending not to care, but something inside me cracked.
After the report, silence filled the room again. The girls didn't understand why my hands were shaking, or why I suddenly looked out the window for too long.
I could still smell the smoke — maybe it was in my mind, or maybe it had followed me home or glued to me.
"Lila?" Savy called softly, her voice dragging me out of the fog.
"Yeah?"
"You're crying."
I wiped my face quickly and forced a smile. "No, I'm not. The smoke from that cigarette got in my eyes earlier."
"You didn't smoke today." May squinted.
I smiled again, wider this time, the way liars do when they want to look believable.
They giggled a little, and that laughter ,so pure , stabbed through me sharper than any knife I had ever held.
"Alright," I said, standing up, "lesson one: we're learning how to draw today."
I picked a piece of charcoal from the floor and began to sketch a crooked circle on the wall.
"Hey. We have chalk" May said.
"Thank you." I collected it with a vote of thanks
The girls sat cross-legged, watching how I transform idea to beauty.
"Start with the face," I said quietly. "You always start with the face. That's where the truth hides."
Savy tilted her head. "Truth?"
"Yes," I whispered. "You can lie with words, but never with eyes."
May raised her hand. "Like when someone says they're not crying but they are?"
My heart skipped. "Something like that."
They started drawing, giggling again, their small fingers leaving white dust all over the cracked wall. For a brief moment, I forgot who I was. The monster. The murderer. The woman with a heart stitched together by knives and regrets.But peace never lasts.
Because somewhere behind me, I thought I heard his voice. Deep, mocking, and familiar.
You can't wash off blood with chalk, Lila.
The chalk slipped from my hand and broke on the floor.
"Lila?" Savy called again, confused.
"Nothing," I muttered, bending down to pick it up. "It's nothing. Let's just… keep drawing."