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Naruto: I'm Hatake Sukumo

MelonLord
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Synopsis
What if you were reborn as a legendary ninja, but you missed Wi-Fi more than you feared death? Ten days ago, he was a certified internet gremlin. Now, he's Sakumo Hatake, Konoha's White Fang, a man so cool he communicates primarily in stoic nods and carries the weight of his clan's honor. The only problem? He would rather be carrying a gaming controller. Thrust into the middle of the brutally boring Second Shinobi World War (seriously, the pinnacle of entertainment is watching trees grow), he's now tasked with the small job of saving his new village from certain doom. His mission: lead a squad of elite Uchiha and Hyūga to the front lines and stop the Third Raikage—a man so tough he could resist a Tailed Beast Ball head on. Armed with only his wits, a serious case of cynicism, and a couple of hilariously overpowered "cheat codes" (including a pre-cog eye that works on a 3-second free trial), this utterly unimpressed impostor must now bluff his way through legendary battles. All while desperately trying to remember the plot, avoid the creepy ANBU nesting dolls watching from the shadows, and figure out if the village's 'Will of Fire' is a profound philosophy or just the world's deadliest corporate mission statement.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: Will of Fire?

"Sakumo… Konoha's situation is anything but ideal right now. We can only rely on you."

Hiruzen's voice was calm, but the look he shot his ANBU carried the weight of a village on his shoulders. "My students can handle Ame, and you've already crushed Suna's momentum."

He sighed, rubbing his temples. "Danzō is doing what he can in Iwa. Kiri's been quiet since the war started—which honestly worries me even more—but the real headache… is Kumo."

Sakumo nodded, face unreadable as always. The man could've been thinking about strategy, dinner, or absolutely nothing. It drove any leader insane not knowing what brewed behind eyes like that.

"You'll take the Uchiha and a small Hyūga strike unit to reinforce the frontline. According to intel…" Hiruzen paused, jaw tightening. "Commander Kiji was killed. The Raikage appeared out of nowhere."

Another quiet nod. "Understood, Hokage-sama. On the honor of the Hatake clan, I will protect my comrades and lead Konoha to victory."

Of course, it wasn't loyalty that drove him—how could it be? He'd only been in this world for ten days. Ten. Days. You don't pledge your soul to a village you barely know.

But he still had to play the role of the real Sakumo: a man who lived by old samurai principles and carried the Hatake clan's honor like a blade at his side.

"Good." Hiruzen seemed genuinely pleased. "You just got back from the battlefield, but this is for the sake of Konoha. Someone with a Will of Fire like yours understands."

Sakumo didn't bother correcting him.

Yeah, "Will of Fire."

More like "Will to Not Blow His Cover."

Sighing, Sakumo dragged a hand down his face. Seriously, who could possibly understand his suffering?

Ten days ago, he was a certified internet gremlin, logging a solid six hours online minimum, with music blasting anytime he wasn't actively working.

The next? He's dumped in a world where the pinnacle of technology was probably a particularly sharp kunai. The soul-crushing boredom was a form of torture T&I couldn't even conceive of.

Honestly, at this point, he'd take the Boruto timeline in a heartbeat. Sure, it was a bad Naruto knock-off where they somehow invented smartphones before decent plumbing, but at least they had games.

Here? Nothing. Just trees, trauma, and the distinct smell of someone's failed Fire Release jutsu.

He didn't linger on the streets after leaving the Hokage's office.

He could feel them—his fellow ANBU, tucked into every shadowy nook like the world's most depressing set of nesting dolls.

Their stares prickled on the back of his neck, a constant reminder that in Konoha, Big Brother wasn't just watching; he was watching with a chakra-enhanced senbon and a deep-seated psychological issue.

It left a seriously bad taste in his mouth, worse than one of Tsunade's hangover cures.

The Hatake compound was… modest. Especially when you stacked it up against the Hyūga or Uchiha mega-mansions.

Those guys had compounds so big they probably needed a map and a packed lunch to get from the front door to the garden.

The Hatake place was more of a "cozy" affair. But as the clan head and one of Konoha's top dogs, his house was still bigger than your average civilian hovel.

Stepping through the gate, he finally felt some of the tension bleed away.

"Will of Fire, my ass," he muttered to the empty genkan. Back when he was just a guy watching anime, the idea seemed kinda nice.

Hashirama was a big, sincere tree-hugger who meant every word. But coming from Hiruzen Sarutobi's mouth? It just sounded like corporate propaganda.

It had all the sincerity of a "We're Like a Family Here" speech from a boss who's about to fire you without severance. Knowing the future and all the conspiracy theories he'd devoured in his past life just made it all feel… slimy.

"Ah, well," he shrugged, kicking off his sandals. "Worst-case scenario, I just ditch this place. It's not the only village in the world, even if it does have the best ramen and the most interesting characters."

He had the power to back up that thought. At twenty-three, Sakumo was already solidly Kage-level. But what really made him confident was his cheat. His beautiful, bullshit cheat.

In his mind's eye, he could see them: a collection of gray, statuette-like figures. Swords, bows, eyes, animals, books, fruits… you name it. It looked like the world's most bizarre garage sale.

But three of them stood out.

Two were already fully colored, vibrant and thrumming with power. A third was halfway there, looking like a bad DIY project—half pristine and half dull concrete.

He focused on that third, half-finished statue. A grin spread across his face. "At this rate, you'll be done in, what, ten days?"

He still didn't fully get this "Gold Finger" of his. From day one, two statues were already active, and this third one had just started slowly filling with color ever since. But he knew it was worth it.

The first statue was of a single, all-seeing eye. The enhancement it gave him was disgustingly simple and stupidly overpowered: he could see one to three seconds into the future.

On demand. For a chakra cost so low it was practically an afterthought. For a guy already famous for his speed? It was a divine gift.

It was like having a mini-Mangekyō Sharingan without the pesky side effects of going blind or the emotional baggage required to summon a giant, energy-consuming samurai avatar.

The second figurine was a jagged lightning bolt. Its gift was just as beautifully straightforward: it supercharged his Lightning Nature.

He was already Konoha's top Lightning specialist, the guy other Lightning users looked at and went, "Damn." This cheat took that and cranked it to eleven.

Less chakra cost? Check. No more frying his own nerves when he channeled lightning through his body? Absolutely. The ability to mold his lightning jutsu into any shape he could imagine with barely a thought? You bet.

It was like going from a standard-issue taser to having direct control over a thunderstorm. He was basically on a first-name basis with Raijin now.

But it wasn't the time to dwell on that.

Right now, the Second Shinobi World War was in full swing, and Konoha's situation was… well, "optimistic" would be a hell of a stretch. "Catastrophically screwed" was closer to the mark.

Just look at what happened to the Sannin. Their legendary battle with Hanzō of the Salamander? More like a mass grave with a congratulatory speech.

He didn't just beat them; he annihilated their entire force and gave them their fancy titles as a participation trophy.

Talk about adding insult to a mountain of corpses.

At this point, the village was scraping the bottom of the barrel. Aside from the Hokage himself and the old war-goddess Mito, practically every usable asset had been thrown into the meat grinder.

Even the Uchiha had been deployed ages ago. In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion old Hiruzen was trying to "squeeze the Uchiha until the Sharingan popped out," which was probably the real reason they were part of the reinforcement.

And the Kumo front? A certified deathtrap.

For someone like Sakumo, a speed-based specialist, the worst possible matchup was currently active and looking for a fight: the Third Raikage.

The man was obscenely fast, which was a problem, but the real party-killer was his Lightning Release Armor.

How do you even hurt a guy who could tank a Tailed Beast Bomb and solo an army of ten thousand until he literally bored himself to death from chakra exhaustion?

As if that wasn't enough, Kumo had that damn Heavenly Transfer Jutsu. The Raikage could basically teleport anywhere he pleased, making a mockery of most carefully laid plans.

Strategy meeting? More like a wishful-thinking support group.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, this is a fresh batch of hell," he muttered to himself. But then he remembered: the Sakumo from the anime lore became a Konoha hero after this war.

That meant the white-haired badass somehow pulled a win out of his ass. And if he could do it, then so could he.

His mind started racing, flipping through a mental catalogue of every ridiculous, world-breaking ninjutsu he'd ever seen in the anime. There had to be something in that cheat sheet of future knowledge that could crack the Raikage's personal lightning-shaped fortress.