Preparations for the ambush had been completed. The air was still from my vantage point high above the Ubuyashiki estate. Like the world itself was holding its breath for the upcoming fight.
Kagaya had made a big deal out of making my 'departure' to an important mission. The Kakushi had even taken part, spreading rumours that I had been called away.
Personally it was a bit much.
I had heard everything from;
I was currently overseas investigating the rising tensions between the Austrians and the Serbians.
A personal matter had come up relating to long lost family members.
There was even one where they had rumoured that I had accidentally teleported myself to an alternate dimension and was now investigating that particular dimension.
Overall, not every single one was believable. But we weren't going for believable, we were trying to make it seem like I was preoccupied elsewhere.
Muzan would be cocky enough to believe that I wouldn't be able to respond on time. I don't think he even knew I could actually teleport. He had only seen the tip of the iceberg in terms of my actual powers.
Tamayo had said that he didn't put much thought into anything he couldn't understand through science. Hence why he hadn't looked into Cursed Energy when she had brought it up to him centuries ago.
Whether he took the bait was up in the air. Chances were, he knew it would be an ambush, but he would still show up just for the chance to kill Kagaya.
I looked down at the sprawling estate, the Hashira had taken their hiding places. Tamayo had hopped on the plan as soon as she heard that we were finally taking the fight to the source.
Yushiro had helped immensely by providing talismans to the Hashira to hide them from Muzan's senses. Even I had one of his talismans stuck onto my chest, not that Muzan could detect me either way.
I had reigned in my Cursed Energy and was floating hundreds of feet above the Ubuyashiki household. I doubted that anyone could even see me without help. I had changed my normal white button up shirt for a black one and I was currently wearing a normal black haori.
I glanced up at the sky, the moon was a thin silvery crescent. Below me, lanterns glowed softly illuminating the wisteria trees they had been hung under.
At the veranda of the main house, Kagaya sat. Calm as ever with Amane sitting beside him with a blank look on her face.
'He'd make a good sorcerer… calm even when he's in hilarious amounts of danger. Amane too, though the woman is even worse than Kagaya when it comes to expressing emotions on her face.'
The wind shifted, I smelled him before I saw him. Muzan, standing at the front of the gate. Elegant suit and a white coat draped over his shoulders.
His flesh was already burning from the wisteria blossoms on the estates ground. I narrowed my eyes at the 'demon king'. He just stood there for a moment, seemingly letting his skin burn.
He didn't make a sound, didn't even so much as look around. Then he kicked the gates open with a bang. The smoke from his burning flesh wafted in through the opening he made.
'Fucker really let himself burn to make enough smoke for a dramatic entrance…' I mentally scoffed.
He took dramatically slow steps forward, letting the smoke drift around him like fog as he walked towards the Ubuyashiki couple. His hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face.
Disdain marred his features as he reached the waiting couple. Then he saw Kagaya, his features shifted into confusion. I strained my ears a bit to hear what he was saying as he opened his mouth.
"…you," he hissed, "you should be dying. I can smell death on you, but it's fading… what have you done Ubuyashiki."
Kagaya smiled, thin and patient. "You have always underestimated the living, Kibutsuji Muzan. Demons are not the only ones with power."
Muzan's gaze sharpened, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" He roared, "HAVE YOU FORSAKEN YOUR HUMANITY?"
'Dude… he literally basically told you. What the fuck is wrong with you?'
Kagaya's laugh was soft, almost pitying. "No, Muzan… I simply put my faith in those much stronger than you."
That was the signal it seemed. Muzan recoiled as if he had been struck as the ground around him erupted. He jumped back as Kyojuro and Muichiro leapt from their hiding spot. Their blades striking in a synchronised swings.
Giyu and Sanemi followed, water and wind. Both performing devastating attacks that cut into Muzan's flesh as he landed.
Obanai, Gyomei, Tengen, and Mitsuri attacked as well. Their blows landed one after the other. Muzan angrily roared, his suit ruined from the continued assault.
In less than a minute, the self proclaimed demon king was surrounded at all sides. The Hashira circling him even as Kagaya stood from his spot.
"Do you see Muzan?" He said softly, "you're not the only one that can plan an ambush."
I grinned, slowly letting my Cursed Energy build up until it was like a heavy blanket around me. Below, Muzan roared as his wounds stitched back together.
"…do you think these gnats can even—"
He stopped, clearly having sensed me as I slowly floated down. His eyes flicked to me as my shoes touched down.
"Yo…" My grin was down right evil.
[Scene Break]
Muzan hissed, his eyes narrowing at me. "You…"
"Me…" I drawled, "so anyways… let's make this quick alright? I felt kinda lonely up there watching you be all dramatic."
"What?" Muzan growled.
"Yeah… the air was so cold, I need my darling fiancee to warm me up. So be a good boy and die quickly alright." I grinned.
I heard Mitsuri squeak a little before I dashed forward, my sword already drawn. Just as I was about to land a blow, Muzan smiled.
The sound of a biwa being plucked rang out and dozens of floating doors slid open in the air. A swarm of demons poured from Nakime's blood demon arts.
Only Muzan wasn't about to get the reaction he was expecting. I reached behind my back and drew my second blade, the blue tanto. Purple lighting crackled along the edge of my katana, the air shattered around me.
As I flashed around teleporting, I caught sight of the Hashira. Mitsuri and Gyomei had pulled back to defend Kagaya and Amane. The others had started fighting the summoned demons.
Each cut of my blade erased a line of demons. It was like the sword was coated with Hollow Purple. I saw Muzan panic and begin to flee. With a casual toss I threw my tanto, pinning his leg to the ground.
He hissed and glared at me.
Having dealt with enough demons to give myself some breathing room, I raised my hand and called my tanto back to me. Muzan started to get dragged towards me, my tanto pulling him along towards my outstretched hand.
He let out a guttural roar and lashed out at me. His arms turning into spiked whips that screamed through the air. I didn't even bother blocking as each fleshy whip collided harmlessly against Limitless.
"This is where you fall." I addressed Muzan. "No escapes, no retreat… you die here today."
"No! I WILL NOT BE KILLED BY A THIRD RATE DEMON LIKE YOU!" Muzan screamed at me.
Nakime's biwa rang out again, a door opened beneath his feet. I frowned, my reaction speed was much faster. I lunged forward, blade raised. Prepared to cut Muzan to a thousand pieces.
But to everyone's shock, instead of falling through the open door. Muzan was launched skyward by something that emerged from the door.
I slid to a stop, sword held loosely in my hand as I watched a flaming figure claw its way out of the door that had appeared on the ground.
Muzan slammed back onto the ground with a crunch, his limbs smoldering as a creature made out of flames and shadows let out a deafening screech. I could feel the heat coming from its body even from a distance.
Clearly the other Hashira could too as they stepped back in alarm. Only something was wrong, they were looking around for the source of the heat, even when it was there right in front of them.
The creature screeched again and stomped down hard on Muzan. The demon king barely had time to scream before he was ground into paste beneath the creatures foot.
"Damn…" I whistled.
"Satoru-kun, what is it?" Mitsuri rushed to my side, her eyes never leaving the flaming creature.
"I think a new curse has just been born." I hummed.
The Hashira around us regrouped, Kyojuro standing next to me while the others either surrounded Kagaya and Amane protectively or took defensive stances where they were.
"Oi," I called to the flaming Cursed Spirit, "do you understand me spirit-san?"
The cursed spirit let out a warbling cry before jumping into action. The remaining demons let out helpless screams as the spirit attacked them. It didn't seem to pay anyone else any mind as it started killing demons left and right.
"What is that?" Kyojuro said from beside me.
"Huh… you do have an inside voice!" I gasped dramatically while turning to him.
[Scene Break]
My mind went through a thousand theories in half a minute. Each one came to the same conclusion, that the demons had collectively birthed a new Cursed Spirit with their fear of the sun.
Evident by the fact that Muzan's crushed form was crumbling to ash even as the Hashira pulled Kagaya back.
'Fuck… I really wanted to kill him myself. Still, this is pretty funny in itself. Muzan getting turned into a smear by a cursed spirit, what the fuck do I do now though?'
Kyojuro and Mitsuri retreated behind me, I had my nichirin blade rested on my shoulder as I watched the cursed spirit demolishing the last of the demons.
Nakime must have died, seeing that no more doors were opening and that the spirit had emerged from one of her doors. As I was contemplating what to do, the sword in my hand sent a pulse through my palm.
I was confused at first, then I remembered Tetsutaka and Tecchin's words. Since I had infused the ore with my CE, the sword would have a mind of its own.
'Or something like that. This world has talking birds, glorified vampires, my existence… sentient sword, why not make the Soul Society a thing too while you're at it oh mighty author of the chaos that is my life.'
[AN: Don't fucking tempt me]
The cursed spirit had just finished smashing the last demon into the ground when its flaming head turned towards us. Mitsuri let out a little gasp, I stepped forward without fear.
"Relax everyone… I've got this."
Then I threw my sword.
————————————————————
Omake: Poison Potato
I felt a bit adventurous, and in a spontaneous moment of 'why the hell not' I decided to drag Mitsuri with me over to the Jujutsu Kaisen world.
We arrived with a crack of displaced air just outside of Tokyo Jujutsu High. Mitsuri was all smiles and sparkles at how much Tokyo had changed from what she could see in the distance.
"You came back?"
I grinned, "Yo."
Mitsuri and I turned to face Gojo. Mitsuri let out a small gasp next to me. Her eyes sparkling in awe.
"Satoru-kun! Is this your brother?" She pointed at Gojo.
We both grin and reply at the same time. "Sure, let's go with that."
Gojo's students came running moments later. Yuji at the head of the trio waved at us. Gojo tucked his hands in his pockets and turned to his students. I grinned at the trio.
"Hey everyone, meet my fiancee Kanroji Mitsuri."
Mitsuri bowed politely, her smile radiant enough to make Tokyo look dim. "It's nice to meet you all."
Gojo's students melted into a puddle of awe, Yuji was the first to recover.
"YOU'RE SO PRETTY!" He blurted, nearly tripping over himself.
"Yuji don't…" Megumi warned him, eyeing me cautiously as I smiled gently.
Yuji tried to hug Mitsuri's leg, I nearly drop kicked him across the street but Mitsuri was already patting his head.
"Eh? So cute…" Mitsuri beamed at him as if he was a puppy.
Megumi sighed, "I tried."
Nobara, meanwhile, didn't have any reservations. She kicked Yuji away and grabbed Mitsuri's hands. Her eyes sparkled as she asked Mitsuri question after question.
"Your hair is so gorgeous! What dye did you use? What products do you put on it at night? Where do you your makeup?"
"Eh?" Mitsuri tilted her head, "It's my natural hair… I just ate a lot of sakuramochi growing up and my hair turned like this."
There was silence, a long LONG silence. I swear I heard something shatter.
Nobara blinked. "You're telling me… your diet made you hair look this good?!"
Mitsuri nodded enthusiastically. "My skin too."
Nobara turned to Megumi and Yuji, "You two, you're coming with me to buy all the mochi in Tokyo later."
Meanwhile, Gojo and I had snuck away. Clearly his students were going to get along pretty well with Mitsuri so there was no worry that they would be up to no good.
Gojo had insisted that I come with him to harras- I mean, meet with the Gojo clan elders.
"This place is much bigger than it used to be." I mused.
"Oh? What does it look like back in your world?" Gojo asked.
"Well, everyone died in a heroic last battle against King Fraud, so it was abandoned for close to a thousand years. It only recently go rebuilt so it's pretty small, just the main building and a few smaller buildings."
Gojo grinned, "Everyone died?"
"Yup," I hummed, "Even the Kamo and Zenin clans."
"Huh… so you really are the strongest there."
"Yeah I think so…"
Gojo chuckled, "Lucky you, no completion."
I scoffed, "As if you have any either."
He shrugged, "Whatever, we're here. Let's kick the door down at the same time."
I grinned, "You're on, first one to give an elder a heart attack wins."
Gojo lifted his blindfold and I lowered my sunglasses. Matching smirks on our faces as we both launched a Limitless infused kick towards the doors.
Five minutes later, we were both escorted out by some pale faced clan members who told us to return later when the elders were 'feeling better'.
Back at Jujutsu High, the kids were crowding around Mitsuri and her sword, utterly baffled.
Yuji poked the scabbard, "But how does this even work? The sword is all wiggly."
Megumi looked like he was about to summon Mahoraga.
Nobara crossed her arms, "It really doesn't make sense Mitsuri-neesan."
Mitsuri cutely giggled, "You guys really want to know?"
"Yeah! It shouldn't be physically possible." Megumi finally spoke up.
"How huh?" Mitsuri began waving her arms. "Poison potato! Huhuhu, hehehe, kukuku… Just kidding!"
The trio deadpanned.
Mitsuri drew her sword, waving it in the air a bit. "It's like this! Then there! There! And there!"
She flourished the whip blade, before proceeding to make it vanish into the simple wooden scabbard. Megumi still had the deadpan look while Nobara and Yuji cheered from the sidelines.
Mitsuri blushed at the praise she was getting, "Guys it's not that hard. I just… believe that it'll fit, and I've never had any problems."
Now Nobara also had a blank look on her face as she stood next to Megumi. Yuji was the only one still smiling and cheering.
"…that's it?" Megumi slumped.
"That's the best answer EVER!" Yuji shouted.
"BELIEVE IT!" Nobara sarcastically cheered.
Then everyone, Mitsuri included, started laughing. That's how I found them when I returned with Gojo in tow. Mitsuri immediately grabbed my arm and welcomed me back.
"Satoru-kun… everyone is so nice here, let's come back sometime."
I chuckled, "Sure… I enjoyed giving stuffy old people heart attacks."
Mitsuri pouted cutely. "Moh… don't be mean to old people."
"Hai hai…" I sighed.
Gojo fake gagged from the side, "You two are disgustingly sweet."
"Jealous much?" I shot back.
"Please… I get all the women." Then Yuji raised his hand, Gojo pointed at him. "Hai, Yuji-kun!"
"Sensei! Didn't you get pepper sprayed by that one lady at the park?"
"Pffft… you got pepper sprayed?!"
"Nah, it hit my Infinity."
"Mhmm, you still got maced." I chuckled.
End Omake