Chapter 160: Allow Me to Dream
The instant these words left her mouth, she seemed to shed a heavy burden. Her whole body trembled slightly yet she still gazed directly into his eyes.
Yu's fingertips lightly rubbed the teacup's rim, the rising steam blurring his current expression.
Naruko held her breath waiting, even her heartbeat in her chest becoming cautious.
"I know."
These two words spoken so lightly made Naruko's entire body shudder.
So he'd already noticed yet always maintained distance, making her dare not approach presumptuously.
Naruko mustered courage to move closer to him, their knees nearly touching.
She extended a trembling hand, lightly covering the back of his hand resting on his knee.
When touching his slightly cool skin, she flinched as though scalded yet didn't withdraw.
"Can I..." Her voice carried timid crying. "Can I get closer to you?"
Yu didn't withdraw his hand nor did he respond.
This tacit permission made Naruko's eyes burn.
She slowly shifted her weight toward him, golden hair falling like tassels onto his shoulder.
Naruko's unique fragrance—like warmth from sunshine—faintly enveloped the space between them.
"Just for a moment..." She murmured, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. "Let me stay like this briefly."
This leaning posture enveloped her entirely in his presence.
Naruko could sense the warmth beneath his shirt, hear his steady breathing.
These minute perceptions made her both sweet and heartbroken—because his heartbeat, from beginning to end, had never quickened because of her.
Yu looked down at the slightly trembling golden head on his shoulder, ultimately raising his hand to gently stroke her hair.
This gesture made Naruko instantly choke up. She couldn't help wrapping her arms around his waist, burying her face deeper into his embrace, greedily absorbing this brief warmth.
"Why..." Her voice muffled in his clothing, carrying suppressed crying. "Why can't it be me? What's not good enough about me? I can change... as long as you like..."
Naruko clutched his shirt, the fabric bunching in her palm. She felt his chest's rise and fall yet couldn't hear the answer she wanted.
She raised her face from his embrace, gazing through tear-blurred eyes into his calm black eyes.
Those eyes were like deep pools—she could never see the bottom. As though bewitched, she slowly drew closer. The instant before touching his lips, Yu slightly turned his head.
That kiss carrying all her feelings ultimately only landed on his clearly defined jaw.
This minute yet firm avoidance made Naruko's whole body stiffen, blood seeming to chill instantly.
"I'm sorry..." She hastily withdrew, fumbling to wipe the continuously flowing tears. "I shouldn't have done that... I shouldn't have..."
Yu gently grasped her panicked wrist. This touch made Naruko freeze in place, even forgetting to cry. The warmth from his palm transmitted through skin yet couldn't warm her gradually chilling heart.
"You're very good, Naruko." His voice remained gentle. "It's my problem."
Naruko gazed at that small patch of dark stain on his shirt where her tears had soaked it, suddenly understanding something.
A name surfaced in her mind.
"Is it because of Sasuko?" She asked softly, voice carrying unexpected calm even to herself.
Yu didn't answer.
But this silence carried more weight than any words—perhaps this was his answer.
Naruko slowly withdrew her hand, fingertips still retaining his wrist's warmth. She lowered her head, tidying her wrinkled hem with gentle movements.
"I understand." She tried raising the corners of her mouth, attempting to squeeze out a smile yet appearing more heartrending than crying. "Thank you... for at least not brushing me off with lies."
Laughter from late-returning pedestrians came from outside the window. That carefree happiness made the interior seem especially silent.
Naruko looked at the gradually cooling tea in the cup, suddenly recalling the scene when buying this tea—she'd counted her long-accumulated payment with anticipation, imagining countless times the scene of drinking together with him, imagining what expression he'd show.
She'd never imagined it would be like this.
"Naruko," Yu's voice pulled her from memories. "You're a very good girl. In the future you'll meet someone better, will have happiness that belongs to you."
Naruko shook her head through tears.
No matter how Yu persuaded, she couldn't imagine a future accepting someone else.
Yu was the first ray of light illuminating her life full of malice and darkness. From that moment on, her heart could never hold anyone else's place.
Just then, that familiar darkness surged again in her heart's depths. That obsessive, reckless impulse wound around her rationality like vines.
A trace of darkness swept through the depths of her azure pupils, like dark clouds suddenly gathering in clear skies.
She suddenly reached out to pull open her collar, exposing her slender collarbones and a patch of fair skin, then fiercely embraced Yu's neck, pressing her burning cheeks against the side of his neck.
"Yu," her voice carried unusual sweetness and desperation. "Since forever isn't possible... can temporary tenderness work? Just tonight... let me have one dream, okay?"
Her fingers tightly gripped his back, nails nearly digging through fabric into his skin.
In this moment, she was no longer that sunshine-bright Naruko. Her azure pupils filled with desire and collapse.
Yu suddenly stood, breaking free from her soft, fragrant embrace.
He looked down at Naruko kneeling on the sofa, shoulders still trembling lightly, ultimately only saying softly, "I'm sorry."
These two words were like final judgment, thoroughly shattering all her fantasies and courage.
Naruko tightly clutched her hem. Tears slid down, dampening her disheveled collar.
"In the future..." She choked out, barely able to produce complete sounds. "Can I still... visit you like before? And Sasuko..."
Yu walked to the door, hand already on the doorknob. Hearing this question, he stopped yet didn't turn back.
"Yes." His voice came across some distance, seeming somewhat blurred.
"In the future... I may need to entrust Sasuko to you."
This final statement seemed like Yu murmuring softly. Naruko heard it somewhat unclearly.
The door closed gently with a soft click.
In the vast apartment, only Naruko remained alone.
She sat alone in the gradually darkening room, her palm still retaining that bit of lingering warmth. She slowly bent forward, pressing her forehead against the sofa cushion.
Then she finally cried aloud.
Her crying gradually changed from suppressed sobbing to heart-wrenching wailing, echoing through the empty room. She cried until her whole body shook, as though releasing all these years' grievances, all this unrequited love.
Why?
Why?
WHY?!
This question tore repeatedly in her heart.
Since childhood, she'd always been alone, gazing up at that unreachable affection like chasing moonlight.
She showed smiles to everyone, striving to earn everyone's recognition—yet why couldn't she obtain his? Even just a little tenderness, she'd exchange everything for it.
She recalled these years, only able to watch from the side as Yu showed Sasuko exclusive gentleness.
That was favoritism she'd never received.
Finally mustering courage to actively approach, tearing away all disguises—what she received in exchange was rejection.
Sasuko clearly already possessed everything... parents, family, and Yu's unreserved love.
Why wouldn't they share even the tiniest bit of remaining warmth with her?
---
After crying for a long while, Naruko gradually stopped.
She raised her head, tear tracks crisscrossing her face. But in those bloodshot azure eyes, something had quietly changed.
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