Stumbling as I crawl out of bed, whipping the sleep from my eyes, I change into my usual outfit. Eventually, I open the door to leave. Yet, I step on a letter that has made its way through our locked mail slot. Looking down, I notice it's not just a single letter; there are hundreds; they are shoved into the overflowing mail slot.
I stand there confused? Did I get accepted to Flogwarts?
My question is answered as I open the door, coming face to face with my own face as it lay tacked onto the wall with a large knife.
After further inspection, I see that it's a bounty sheet, and I seem to be the target. My eyes make their way down the paper, noticing that the price on my head is a thousand gold...damn.
Turning back to inspect all of the challenge letters, I realize I only have forty-eight hours to either accept or turn down these challenges before I receive a penalty. It's going to be a long night. But I chalk it up to future me's problem as I make my way down the hall.
With this newfound target on my head, I walk through the courtyard with a little more caution than usual. I grab a coffee from our coffee shop, which is called "Morning Punch". With each sip I realize why I take the walk, rather than using my ability to create coffee.
The morning dew coats the grass, as the rising sun reflects off each droplet. On a nearby bench, my classmate, Reefer, is sitting down, looking at his tablet.
A toned boy with ashy hair and a very large buff boy with long hair and a contrastingly timid demeanor as they walked together.
"Hey Akimbo! Let's dive into the wild world of toothpaste! First off, can we talk about the sheer confusion surrounding the endless options? I mean, you walk into a store, and it's like entering a toothpaste museum! You've got minty fresh, whitening, sensitivity relief, herbal, charcoal-"
The boy with ashy hair seems to be named Akimbo; he additionally seems short-tempered as he begins to shout. "Shut it, Skimp! You're giving me a headache."
Akimbo struts over Reefer's white shoes, as mud stains their once flawless appearance.
Reefer doesn't look too pleased as he stands up, towering over Akimbo. "Hey!" Reefer grabs Akimbo's collar."Watch where you're going, shit stain! You messed up my kicks."
Skimp puts his hands out cautiously as though trying to calm down the victim. "Wait! Akimbo don't!" Skimp now turns to Reefer. "We're sorry! We promise not to get in your way, just please! Don't provoke Akimbo!"
Reefer turns to Skimp. "Eh? Who do you think you are?"
Out of nowhere, Akimbo has a lever action shotgun to Reefer's head with a wide grin. "We're heroes!" Akimbo blows off Reefer's head with the lever action. He grabs Reefer's collar, throws him down to the ground, and stomps on the headless corpse.
Skimp looks around frantically. "Akimbo! You can't just kill whoever annoys you!"
"Shut up, nerd neck! It's not my fault this villain just walked up to me!"
"Just because they got mad at you doesn't make them villains! Akimbo!"
"Cram it! Or I'm gonna turn you to mist."
Skimp gulps.
As the two begin to walk away, Reefer regenerates. "Wha- what... happened to me?"
Infinite regeneration, interesting; that would explain how he was able to survive being impaled on the first day. I continue examining the conflict.
"What!?!?! He survived that?!" Skimp shouts.
"Of course he did. Villains don't die if you kill them once!" Akimbo exfoliates twin m249s from his skin into his hands, which he unloads onto Reefer, whose corpse flops around, the bullet casing pattering against the grass.
"Ahh! What are you doing, Akimbo!? Are you trying to get expelled?!"
"Dieeeeee you freak bastaraddddd!" Akimbo sighs smoke as he throws his twin machine guns onto the dirt as they quickly decompose. The two of them start to stroll away again.
Skimp timidly turns. "Um... Akimbo, he's still regenerating."
Akimbo turns around and summons a GM6 Lynx 50 caliber sniper as he hands it to Skimp. "Shoot him."
"What?! You can't mean that, right? You're starting to make us look like the villains, Akimbo!"
Akimbo grits his teeth as he glares at Skimp. "What did you just call me? I am not... a villain, you turkey shit! Now shoot him!"
"Right!" Skimp trembles as he aims.
A boom sounds as he shoots, the gun goes flying, and Skimp falls backward. His arm falls to the side, likely broken from the recoil as it flops down.
The bullet rips through Reefer, and his regenerating corpse explodes.
Skimp's arm begins to turn purple as he jiggles his arm and spins it in circles with a gleeful smile. "Hey, look, Akimbo! I can move my arm in circles now..." He quickly realizes that one's arm should not do that. "ahhHhh! My arm! It's broken!"
"You twig! You're supposed to lean into it!"
The two walk away from the confused Reefer.
Akimbo, It appears as though his parasite gives him the ability to create guns at will.
I sneak away from the scene. He may attempt to claim the bounty, and I doubt I would be able to win against that guy with the limited knowledge I have.