Meanwhile, Themyscira
Harley, Maureen, and Hippolyta crossed the barrier and entered the open air above the sacred land. Below them, green hills stretched out. Marble towers stood in the distance. The sea crashed against white cliffs.
Then the ambush came.
A streak of gold slammed into their path.
Diana appeared first, eyes glowing faintly, armor shining under the sun. Six Amazons followed her, flying in formation with artifacts strapped to their arms and backs. Those artifacts were helping them to fly.
Harley stopped in midair so suddenly that the air boomed.
She glanced sideways at Maureen and Hippolyta.
"Welp," she said cheerfully. "That is my cue."
Before either of them could argue, Harley pointed two fingers back over her shoulder.
"You two go and get the brain witch and the spooky door. I got flying punch ladies."
Maureen looked at Diana, then at Harley.
"Be careful."
Harley grinned widely. "Always am. Emotionally? No. Physically? Absolutely."
Hippolyta's jaw tightened at the sight of her daughter, but she nodded once.
"There were a few metahumans who also escaped. So, keep an eye out for them," she said.
They split instantly.
Maureen vanished in a streak of frost and wind toward the palace. Hippolyta dove toward the distant cliffs where ancient seals pulsed beneath the island.
Harley cracked her neck and looked at the six Amazons.
"Oookay, gals," she said. "Time to get your spankings."
They charged.
Harley used her super speed.
To the Amazons, it felt like time had stopped. One moment, they were flying forward with their weapons ready. Next, they felt pressure at the back of their heads. Six sharp taps hit them with perfect control. Their eyes rolled back.
Harley reappeared behind them, arms already moving.
She grabbed two unconscious Amazons at once and gently lowered them to the ground below. She returned in a blur, caught two more, then the last pair, placing them down in neat rows like very dangerous nap time.
It took her less than 3 seconds to do that.
She dusted her hands.
"See. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Nobody died. I am so mature."
Harley's head snapped up just in time to see a golden boot filling her vision.
Diana hit her like a meteor.
The kick landed square in Harley's ribs and sent her flying across the island. She smashed through a stone outcrop, skipped across the ground, and carved a long trench before finally skidding to a stop.
Harley jumped up and cracked her neck. She didn't suffer any damage.
"Hey, D. Wassup?" She waved a hand.
Diana landed a few meters away, boots cracking the ground.
"You will not interfere, Clown," Diana said as she kicked the ground and dashed forward with her sword raised.
She closed the distance in a blur, sword cutting through the air in a clean, perfect arc meant to end the fight immediately.
Harley dodged the attack easily.
The blade sliced through empty space and cracked the stone behind her. Diana twisted instinctively, shield coming up just in time as Harley reappeared above her and slammed both feet down.
"Harley smash!"
The impact thundered.
The ground cratered beneath Diana as divine lightning exploded outward. Diana slid backward, boots carving deep grooves through the ground, but she did not fall.
She looked up.
"This is beyond the understanding of someone who hides behind jokes," Diana said coldly.
Harley landed lightly a few meters away, stretching her arms. Blue-white lightning crawled across her skin, snapping and popping like impatient fireworks.
"Oh honey," Harley said, wagging a finger. "If I stop joking, that means I am taking you seriously. And that is when things get uncomfortable."
Diana charged again, faster this time.
Her sword moved like silver lightning. Harley dodged the first slash, ducked the second, and blocked the third with her forearm. Divine lightning hardened instantly, forming a crackling shield just in time.
Steel screamed against lightning.
The force of the clash sent shockwaves rippling through the air.
Harley grinned. "Ooo, okay. Still got it. I was worried mind control made you rusty."
Diana growled and drove her shield forward, smashing into Harley's chest. Harley flew backward, flipped once, and landed upright with a small hop.
Before Diana could press the advantage, Harley snapped her fingers.
Lightning exploded outward.
It shaped itself midair, forming a massive glowing mallet crackling with divine power. "Hammer strike incoming!" Harley grabbed it and swung it casually. "Heyaaa!"
The hammer slammed into Diana's shield and detonated in a thunderous explosion. The blast hurled Diana through the air and into a hillside, stone collapsing around her.
Harley leaned forward, hands on her knees. "Okay, that one felt personal. You good?"
Stone burst outward as Diana rocketed back into the sky and she looked angry as hell. Harley shot up toward her.
They collided midair.
Fists, shield, and blade clashed faster than sound. Each impact detonated like thunder. Lightning and divine force ripped across the sky, tearing clouds apart and shaking the island.
Diana landed a clean punch to Harley's jaw, snapping her head sideways. Harley answered with a knee to Diana's ribs that sent her crashing down on the ground again.
Diana rolled to her feet instantly.
"You fight like a god," Diana said, eyes narrowing. "But you lack discipline."
Harley flew down and placed a hand on her hip. "Sweetie, discipline is what got you mind-controlled in the first place."
Diana roared and threw her lasso.
The golden rope shot forward. It wrapped around Harley's arm and yanked hard, dragging her forward at terrifying speed.
Harley stumbled, then smirked.
"Oh no," she said. "The honesty rope."
The lasso flared.
Truth surged.
For a split second, Harley's grin faded. Her eyes softened, pain flickering through them. Suddenly, she wanted to confess all her secrets and feelings.
"I really did want to be your friend," Harley said quietly. "You know... Before all the punching. But I also wanted to punch you. I don't know why. And sometimes I get impulses to ride John's face... Argg!"
She tried to lie but couldn't. "Okay, fine. I think of sex and riding his face at least twice... all the time. I want to have so many threesomes with Maureen and John. I want to have a very big family with John and many kids. I also broke the marble floor of our new house while jumping on a pogo stick. Hehehe. I couldn't help myself. I tried to fix it with glue, but it didn't work. So, I hid it under the carpet and then ate his favorite cupcakes. Those were limited-edition cupcakes. I tried to find it online, but they are all sold out. John will spank me if he finds out."
Harley's eyes snapped sharply again.
Lightning surged through the lasso, flooding it with divine power. The golden rope vibrated violently, then detonated in a burst of crackling energy that forced it to release.
Harley twisted midair and slammed both palms forward.
Explosion magic erupted.
A controlled blast hit Diana point-blank, but she raised her shield just in time.
Harley snapped forward and caught the glowing golden lasso midair. Divine lightning surged from her hand, crawling over the rope like living veins. She twisted once and yanked hard.
Diana was pulled off balance.
Harley spun with the motion, wrapping the lasso around Diana's torso and arms in one smooth motion, while giggling. "Phew! All tied up."
Diana struggled, muscles flexing, but the rope tightened and held firm. Her expression twisted with anger and confusion as the compulsion settled in. Thanks to the mind control, Diana couldn't use her powers properly.
"Okaaay," Harley said cheerfully. "Truth time."
Diana clenched her jaw. "Release me."
"Ah ah," Harley replied, wagging a finger. "That is not how magic honesty ropes work. I do not make the rules. Ancient god ladies did."
She crouched closer, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Let's start with a quick trial question."
She tilted her head.
"Do you fart?"
Diana froze.
Her eyes widened a fraction.
Her face flushed.
Silence stretched.
Harley grinned wider. "Oh my god. It is working."
Diana's teeth ground together. "Yes," she said stiffly. "I do."
Harley gasped dramatically and slapped a hand over her mouth. "NO WAY."
She laughed and straightened. "Okay. Wow. I never thought Wonder Woman was human enough to betray the air."
Diana glared. "This is humiliating."
"Welcome to my world," Harley said brightly. "Alright, next one."
She paced in a slow circle around Diana.
"Are you being mind-controlled right now?"
Diana's chest tightened. Her answer came out strained, forced. "Yes."
Harley stopped walking.
Her grin faded, just a little.
"Is Hypnota doing it?"
"Yes."
Harley nodded once, the joking tone gone for a heartbeat. Then it snapped right back into place.
"Cool. Hate her already."
She leaned closer again. "Next question. Are you trying to kill us because you want to, or because you are being told to?"
Diana's voice dropped. "Because I am being commanded."
Harley exhaled slowly. "Thought so. Next question. Do you have feelings for John?"
"Release me, NOW!" Diana groaned as she tried to break free, but Harley had more control of her divine power than Diana had over hers. So, she failed.
"C'mon now, Wonderbread. Do you have a thing for John?" Harley repeated her question.
Diana answered. "Yes."
"Since when?" Harley narrowed her eyes.
"Ever since he saved me at Fawcett City... I knew it at the first glance that it's him, the one who's destined to become my man," Diana confessed.
"Ahhh! Okey, that's kinda weird now since John wants your mom, but you also want him. So... We really need to make a schedule or chart to keep track of who is going to spend time with John and when and who John is going to spend time with and when... And am I makin' any sense?" Harley said while scratching her head.
Harley thought for a moment and made some mental notes of what to do next after this mess.
"Okay," She walked closer and touched Diana's head. "This is gonna sting a bit."
She pushed her healing lightning into Diana's head.
A burst of black mist got out of Diana's head.
Harley pulled back and asked, "Are ya still mind controlled?"
Diana took a few deep breaths before answering, "No." She clenched her fists. "I'm not mind-controlled anymore."
Suddenly, A gigantic foot appeared over them.
---
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