John stirred his coffee while Harley was already halfway through her pancakes. Maureen quietly sipped her tea. The small café buzzed with chatter, but their table felt like its own little bubble.
"So," Harley said with her mouth full, "that mansion up on the hill? Total dream house! Big rooms, killer view, fancy staircase for dramatic entrances. Only problem—it's, like, ten miles away from civilization."
John nodded. "Yup. Too isolated. But I think it's perfect for vacations."
Harley leaned forward, tapping her fork against her plate. "So, we get the Dakota one for home base, and this one for playtime. Easy-peasy."
Maureen looked up. "That's two mansions."
"Exactly!" Harley said, grinning. "Twice the luxury, twice the chaos!"
John gave her a look. "That's not how budgets work."
Harley leaned back, crossing her arms. "Says the guy with fifty million dollars."
Maureen hid a smile behind her cup. John sighed and looked at her. "What do you think?"
She blinked. "Me?"
"Yeah. You're family now. Your opinion counts."
Maureen hesitated. "I think… both sounds kind of nice. This one is for when we want a little vacation, the Dakota one for our daily living."
Harley pointed at her. "See? Bluebell gets it."
John thought for a moment, then nodded. "Alright. We'll buy both."
Harley let out a cheer loud enough to make the waiter jump. "That's my man! We're goin' mansion shopping!"
Fifteen minutes later, they had finished breakfast, paid the bill, and were already on their way to the real estate office. The dealer nearly dropped his pen when Harley insisted they buy the property on the spot.
By noon, the paperwork was done, the keys were theirs, and Harley had already claimed the poolside bedroom "for creative purposes." John handled the legal side, Maureen made sure Harley didn't sign anything in crayon, and somehow, it all worked out.
When they stepped outside, Harley threw her arms around both of them. "One mansion down, one to go!"
John smiled faintly. "Dakota next."
Maureen nodded. "Let's make it official."
"But first thing first," Harley said with her usual mischievous grin. "Secure the mansion."
Harley dragged John and Maureen to a shady shop downtown. She bought traps, a toolbox, locks, and security cameras for half the market price. The guy behind the counter had a scar, one eye, and a parrot that kept yelling "Boom!" every few minutes. Harley haggled like a pro and somehow walked out with top-notch gear for the price of a dinner bill.
"Don't ask where he gets his stuff," Harley said as they loaded the car. "Just smile and nod."
"Pretty sure some of those were military grade," Maureen muttered, eyeing the pile of gadgets.
John checked one of the motion sensors. "At least the equipment's solid."
"See? Mr. Serious approves!" Harley said, giving him a slap on the back.
They spent the rest of the day working around the mansion. Harley laid traps with the enthusiasm of a kid decorating for Halloween. Pressure plates by the windows, tripwires in the hallways, paint bombs above the doors. Every few minutes she'd yell, "Don't step there!" right after someone already had.
Maureen handled the locks, replacing every knob and deadbolt with new hardware. She even numbered them to keep track. "If we survive Harley's 'security system,' we'll be fine."
John climbed ladders, drilling in cameras and linking them to his laptop. He checked the feeds, adjusted angles, and ran tests. Harley waved at the lens every time one turned on, making faces until John told her to move.
By evening, the place looked like a fortress built by a hyperactive clown, a spy, and a perfectionist. Harley wiped sweat from her forehead. "Home sweet booby-trapped home!"
John did a final sweep on the monitors. "Everything's active. No one's breaking in."
A few minutes later...
"Perfect," Harley said, pulling something from her jacket pocket with a sly grin. She walked over to Maureen, who was standing near the kitchen area. "Now, for the final test."
Maureen looked suspicious. "What test?"
"The prank test," Harley said, holding up a small green bottle labeled Mega Stink Ultra Gas.
"Harley," Maureen warned. "No."
"Oh, come on. Just a bit? It's science!" she said. "We gotta see if the air sensors pick up toxins."
"That's not a toxin," Maureen whispered. "That's chemical warfare."
Harley giggled and snuck up behind John while he was checking the front door sensor. With the stealth of a cartoon character, she gave one quick spray behind him.
The result was instant.
John froze. His face went from calm to absolute horror. "What… is that smell?"
Harley was already running upstairs, laughing. "Tehehehehe!"
"HARLEY!!!" John yelled. "Oh my god! Uueeghh! You are dead." He ran after her.
Maureen gagged. "Oh my god, it's like rotten eggs and a dumpster had a baby!" She was about to open the window when she realized that everything was booby-trapped. "HARLEY! I DON'T WANT TO SAY THIS BUT I'M GONNA FREEZE YOUR ASS!" She also ran after Harley.
[Upstairs]
Harley bolted down the hall, cackling like she'd just robbed Fort Knox. "You'll never take me alive!" she shouted, vaulting over a sofa and landing on the railing with catlike balance.
"Harley, stop running on the furniture!" Maureen yelled, chasing after her.
"Can't catch what you can't corner, Frosty!" Harley flipped off the railing and landed perfectly on her feet, sticking her tongue out. "Bleeehhh!"
John came in from the other side of the hall, blocking her path. "End of the line."
She grinned. "Oh really?"
He lunged. She ducked, slid between his legs, and smacked his boot on the way out. "Too slow, Thunderboy!"
John spun around, coughing through laughter. "You're lucky I don't throw lightning indoors."
"Yeah, yeah," Harley said, hopping onto the banister and walking along it like a tightrope. "Rules, rules, rules. You two are no fun."
Maureen grabbed a pillow from a chair and chucked it at her. Harley dodged, the pillow smacking John in the face instead.
He blinked, deadpan. "Thanks, Maureen."
"Sorry!" she said, trying not to laugh.
Harley was already sprinting into one of the bedrooms. She slammed the door, locked it, and yelled, "I claim this territory in the name of chaos!"
John tried the handle. "Harley, open the door."
"Nope."
He sighed and looked at Maureen. "You wanna do the honors?"
Maureen smirked. "Gladly." She placed her hand on the doorknob. Frost spread just enough to make it brittle but not enough to wreck it. One twist and snap later, the door creaked open.
Harley stood on the bed, holding a toy gun shaped like a dragon. "Back, foul mortals! This beast sprays justice!"
"When the hell did you buy that?" John asked. He had a bad feeling about that gun.
"Wouldn't ya like to know," She grinned.
Maureen took one step forward, unimpressed. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, I would," Harley said and fired.
A stream of glitter shot straight into John's chest.
He froze. Looked down. Then up. "You sprayed me with glitter."
"Magical glitter!" Harley declared proudly. "Non-toxic, super shiny, lasts for days!"
John wiped some off, sparkling like a disco ball. "Maureen, use your power and kindly freeze her ass."
"With pleasure," Maureen cracked her knuckles.
Harley gasped dramatically. "Traitor!"
The two advanced. Harley backflipped off the bed, rolled, and dashed down the hall again, still laughing. John chased from one side, Maureen from the other.
"Harley, stop running!"
"Never!"
She slid under a coffee table, popped up behind a curtain, and when they turned, she yelled "Boo!"
Maureen shrieked and shot a tiny ice spray that missed Harley by an inch and froze a lampshade solid. "Oh no! Sorry! Sorry!"
Harley couldn't stop laughing. "Best night ever!"
Finally, John caught her by the waist mid-sprint. They both crashed onto the couch, Harley still giggling uncontrollably. "Okay, okay, truce! Truce!" He flipped her down from the couch and onto the floor before climbing on top of her and pinning her arms above her head.
Both were breathing hard.
Maureen stopped with her hands on her knees, huffing. "Ha-ha! Phew! Okay. Finally..." She slumped down on the couch.
Harley blinked up at him, still half-laughing and breathless. Her cheeks turned pink when she realized how close they were. John's weight pressed her down, his hands holding her wrists above her head.
"Well, well," she said with a crooked grin, trying to mask the flutter in her chest. "If you wanted me under you, big guy, you could've just asked."
John raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Flirting won't save you this time."
She tilted her head, eyes glinting. "Worked before."
"Not this time," he said, leaning closer. Their lips were barely an inch or two apart. His tone carried mock authority, but there was a flicker of a smirk tugging at his lips.
Harley blinked up at him, her grin faltering for a second. Something about his closeness made her pulse jump. "Uh… you sure about that?" she teased, but her voice wasn't as steady now. "I've got moves."
His eyes were narrowing with mock seriousness. "Yeah? Like what?"
Harley bit her lip, pretending to think. "For starters… I could promise not to prank you for a whole day."
"Not enough."
"Two days?"
"Nope."
She squirmed a little, laughing nervously. "Fine! A week! You know how hard that is for me?"
John's smirk widened. "Tempting offer… but I've got a better idea."
Harley blinked. "Uh oh."
John glanced toward Maureen, who was catching her breath on the couch. "Hey, Maureen. The pool's got water, right?"
Maureen looked up, suspicious. "Yeah, why?"
"Make it freeze. Like a slushy."
Harley's eyes widened. "Wait, what? No, no, no, hold up—"
He grinned. "Then we're dumping her in it."
Maureen burst out laughing. "Oh, I am so in." She stood and stretched her arms, blue frost already dancing across her fingertips.
"Traitors! Both of you!" Harley shouted, wriggling beneath John's grip. "You can't just—hey, wait—no, no freezing the pool! That's cruel and unusual punishment!"
John finally stood, pulling her up by the arm and threw her over his shoulder as she kicked and protested. "You brought this on yourself, prank queen."
Harley kicked her legs in the air and pouted, but smiling through it. "You're all just jealous of my creative genius."
"Creative?" Maureen said. "You gassed us with Mega Stink and then glittered him."
"Exactly! Memorable!" Harley shot back.
John chuckled, already heading for the door. "Come on. You can argue your case while you're turning into a popsicle."
Harley groaned dramatically. "I regret nothing!"
"Good," John said as he opened the door with his free hand. "You'll have plenty of time to think about that while you're cooling off."
"And as the saying goes..." Marueen said while spinning an ice shard on top of her finger. "Justice is served cold."
---[Spoilers. Upcoming chapter names. Click to read.]---[1]
---[POWERSTONES & REVIEWS ARE WELCOME]---
If you like my work, you can support me on>: www.patr eon.com/XcaliburXc
[Read 15 advance chapters]
---
[1] Ch: 38 [Harley Quinn and the Party of Redemption] Ch: 39 [Fun Birthday Party] Ch: 40 [In His Arms, She Belonged] Ch: 41 [Sins' Champion] Ch: 42 [Time Skip & Training]