After waking up the next day Eric decided to take a deep look into the gifts that were given to him.
After scavaging for a while Eric stumbled upon an empty, small notebook. Which, to many, is just something to never use. Eric found it exiting, to use it as a diary or such, something to talk about his day with, even if no one was really hearing him, he felt that he'd be heard by that notebook.
Eric started by writing a list of what he think was right or wrong, in search of self-understanding and validation.
Eric apparently liked people but also didn't, as it was put both in the like and dislike list, Eric disliked violence, but also liked it, said it depends on who it's used with.
After a couple of confusions and contradictions in the midst of his entretaining Eric decided to dive into deeper topics, disliking death but liking it on different people. Said some deserve it, some don't.
After some more controversial topics he decided to take a break, and when he came back to school, he'd show Nick what he put on his list.
Eric came back to school after weekend was over and he brought that notebook with him. When recess came Eric went rushing to Nick to show him the list he made. Nick, after looking at the list, was left confused by Eric's contradictions and logic, Nick defended that no one deserved death.
Eric explained himself, saying that he doesn't feel like some people should be allowed to torment others without these consequences.
Nick still couldn't agree with Eric, to Nick, death was something too harsh for anyone, that should never happen under any circumstance, while Eric was all right with some people's deaths if they were within Eric's reasoning.
Eric was mildly distressed at the fact that he didn't recieve Nick's validation, believing his logic was 100% agreeable.
When recess was over Eric started writing more things on his notebook in class. As Eric wrote more and more on his notebook about his thoughts his distress at Nick's lack of validation to his opinion grew higher, which eventually led Eric to write Nick on the like and dislike, even making a scale about how "cool" Nick was being, which would be updated every day he spent with Nick.
Once, in class a teacher noticed Eric's attatchment to the notebook, writing when it wasn't meant to.
The teacher decided to take a peek at Eric's notebook, Eric noticed and close the notebook quickly as he didn't want anyone to see his opinions after his best friend didn't validate him, leaving him cautious about who he shared it to.
The teacher then snatched the book from Eric, making him jump to the teacher to get his notebook back, after screams from both sides Eric got his notebook but stood in the middle of class awkwardly after what just happened.
The teacher grabbed Eric's hand and took him out of class, taking them to the hallway, then the teacher asked:
"Eric, what's going on with you? You looked like such a sweet boy and now you jump on me like that because of a notebook? Tell me, what is in that notebook?"
The boy stood there, not saying a word, just staring at the teacher's eyes, making the whole ambient uneasy.
"Eric, Im sorry, i will have to send you to the principal's office for your lack of proper behaviour. Go back to class and pack your things."
Eric, all red and flustered, went back to class, as he walked to his seat he was bombarded with questions from his classmates, some laughing some genuenly questioning what just happened, which just made Eric even more mad, he silently packed his things and went to the principal's office.
As Eric got there the principal was facing backwards, he slowly turned his swivel chair around. Saying:
"Dear boy... i've heard about your doings... i'm going to need to call your parent's phone in order to sort things out..."
Eric blew
"CALL HER!! CALL MY MOM! SHE WON'T EVEN CARE, SHE NEVER DID!!" Eric started tearing up "i... i dont even know what i am to her anymore."
The rest of Eric's words were silenced by the flood of his own crying
After a some time Eric's mom came to school to pick him up, the drive home can be resumed by mom's venting and ranting about how bad of a burden her son has been since he was born.
Eric was speechless. Unable to defend himself. He instead thought to himself that, in this huge world there had to be someone who trully agreed with him.
After some days Eric decided to go the local library to use their computer's browser to search for "people who agree that death is not bad for some people"
After scrolling through unknown things that Eric couldn't bother to read he found a name: "Epicurus" a greek philosopher who believed death was the permanent extintion of conciousness, which wasn't exactly what he was looking for, but it was already a start.
After diving a little bit into the "philosopher" topic, Eric assumed that by being a philosopher he could have his words remarked, no matter how controversial they were, so, for the next week he dedicated himself to writing some more mindless controversy on his notebook.
When he was done with writing he decided to take a break. The next day of school he went to talk with Nick again, after some time of not-so-close contact with him. Only to find him with two more kids Eric had never seen before, Eric said hi to Nick and sat the closest to him that he could.
Nick said hi back and introduced these two new friends Nick had made over the time Eric didn't speak much to him, Nick also knew about the principal and quietly confronted Eric about him starting to become a troublemaker for "meaningless reasons", which flustered Eric, who responded with:
"It's not meaningless! it's what i think. someone's opinion and thoughs are not meaningless!"
Nick backed off and told Eric to just forget about it and to sit down with him and his new friends.