"—In conclusion!"
"Azusa-senpai, please arrange a mixer for us! This is our request for our entire lives!"
That afternoon at Grand Blue, unable to find any girls, Iori Kitahara and Kohei Imamura could only kneel in a half-naked state at Azusa Hamaoka's feet, begging her to help them out of this crisis!
"What do you mean, 'in conclusion'?"
"You guys seem to be having unexpected fun every day—So where's Yu? Didn't he come?"
Sitting at the bar, Ryūjirō Kotobuki felt like something was missing. After a few seconds, he realized that Miyazawa Yu hadn't come.
Without Yu kneeling in the middle, Iori and Kohei's combination looked severely lacking in aesthetic appeal!
"That guy said he could find people himself and then abandoned us!"
Looking up helplessly, Iori Kitahara's teeth ached with frustration as he recalled the mocking expression on Miyazawa Yu's face when he left.
Who knew where that scoundrel hooked up with girls? They were together all the time, and he never saw him act alone!
"Hmm, a mixer, you say? Let me think—"
"Please! Just help us this one time!"
"Consider it saving our lives!!"
Iori couldn't care less about Yu anymore. He pressed his head down even lower, trying to win some sympathy from the hesitant Azusa-senpai.
"Honestly... my friends are all senpais already! Didn't you think of asking Chisa?"
"About that..."
Kohei Imamura looked up helplessly and gave Iori a look. The latter immediately ran to Chisa and put his hands together, begging, "Chisa! Please help us!!"
"Go die two thousand times!!"
As expected, he was rejected like trash. Iori slid on his knees again and came to a stop in front of Azusa Hamaoka, explaining, "That's how it is, she's been in a bad mood these past few days!"
"As you can see, you're the only female we know, Azusa-senpai!"
"Nothing I can do about it~"
Sighing lightly, Azusa Hamaoka knew that people who joined the Pab club usually didn't have much luck with women. And coincidentally, she did have a suitable person in mind right now!
But she couldn't help them for free, or these two little scoundrels would annoy her to death!
"How about this, if you agree to one condition, I'll find someone who can arrange a mixer for you!"
"Really?!"
"Thank you! We'll do anything!"
Looking up, touched, Iori Kitahara had just made his promise when Azusa Hamaoka hooked her arm around his neck and whispered to him.
"In that case, Iori, you have to continue pretending to be Chisa's boyfriend until she's satisfied!"
"Huh? Why? What's the meaning of this condition, Azusa-senpai?"
He was completely baffled. What kind of request was this? Why would Azusa-senpai want him to continue being Chisa's boyfriend? What was in it for her?
"Hmm—Why? Oh! Yu, you're back? Did you find someone? Senpai can help you out!"
With a cunning smile, Azusa Hamaoka's gaze shifted to Chisa, but she saw Miyazawa Yu coming out of the kitchen with Nanaka, holding drinks.
"Oh? You two really are useless, huh? You ended up going to Azusa-senpai for help?"
Tilting his head, Miyazawa Yu put the alcohol that needed to be restocked into the freezer and turned to give the two half-naked kneeling men a look of contempt.
Although he had said he would use his "girlfriend" to arrange a mixer for those bastards, how could he possibly ask his Nanaka-san for something like that?!
That was a clear signal of wanting to cheat! An excellent harem king would avoid options that heavily reeked of being cheated on!
It was just a mixer. He could just find two pretty girls; anyway, he couldn't let his friends walk into the lion's den. Those scoundrels probably wouldn't be able to tell their age.
"Ha! What are you talking about, Yu! Are you showing off that you can find girls?! Kohei, the duct tape!"
"Got it!"
He was held down! And Kohei was viciously smiling as he put several layers of duct tape over his mouth. Maybe this was the meaning of "trouble comes from the mouth"...
"Mmmph mmmph mmmph..."
Gently shaking his head, Miyazawa Yu looked at the two single dogs with pity—Forget it, there's nothing to say to an otoko with poor people skills!
"What do we do... that guy's look makes me so uncomfortable. Should we cover it up?"
"No, no, no! Let's just poke his eyes out."
Feeling his dignity trampled, Iori Kitahara, while being watched by a speechless Yu, began to loudly conspire about "a hundred ways to blind Yu!"
Seeing this, Azusa Hamaoka gave both him and Kohei a slap on the head, then asked, "So, what's your answer?"
"Ah! No problem. As long as it saves our lives..."
"Alright! Then I'll bring the perfect girl for you guys!"
Giving a thumbs-up, she turned and left. Miyazawa Yu watched Azusa Hamaoka's back and began to let his mind wander. The perfect girl for Iori and Kohei...
He couldn't help but picture Iori hugging the bald captain of the rugby club and Kohei putting a wedding ring on an inflatable doll.
He couldn't hold back and lowered his head deeply, his shoulders shaking.
"Hey, Yu, you seem to be getting a little too cocky today! That's not a woman, is it!"
"Yeah! Mine doesn't even seem to be a person!"
"!!!"
His eyes wide with shock, Miyazawa Yu looked at the two otokos who were cracking their knuckles and walking towards him. He guiltily ran behind Nanaka Kotegawa to take shelter.
How could these two bastards read his mind?! What kind of skill was that? Mind-reading?!
Before, their in-game voice chat only transmitted sound. Now they could even share images in real-time. It was too terrifying!
"Iori, Azusa-senpai is bringing someone back. Shouldn't you guys prepare first?"
After watching the farce for a few minutes with a chuckle, Nanaka Kotegawa saw that Yu was about to be in danger again and mercifully spoke up to save him.
Hearing Nanaka-san say this, Iori Kitahara felt that he shouldn't meet a girl half-naked. What if she was like Chisa and refused to set up a mixer for a pervert?!
With that thought, he quickly called Kohei and frantically ran into the room to change. Seeing this, Miyazawa Yu finally sighed in relief, tore off the duct tape, and sat on the sofa.
"Honestly, I wasn't wrong, was I? A girl who's a good match for Iori and Kohei couldn't possibly exist!"
"Hmph~ I don't know about that. Yu, you say things like that, no wonder you get hit."
"Oh—is that so?"
He slumped in place, helpless. Miyazawa Yu looked down at the entrance. Azusa Hamaoka had come back after only ten minutes. Had she planned this?
"So where's the girl? Was she too scared to come?"
"Of course not!"
With her hands on her hips, she turned her head away in annoyance. Azusa Hamaoka waved to the door and said, "Come in!"
"Mmm..."
A girl's foot stepped into the store. The expression on Miyazawa Yu's face immediately contorted in confusion, until the pretty girl stood shyly in front of him with her head lowered.
His confusion instantly turned into horror—how could a girl be willing to come to the Pab club's den of evil?! He must be hallucinating!
"Could you... Ryujiro-senpai, hit me! I feel like my mind isn't right!"
"You're very shallow, Yu!"
"But this is a normal girl!"
Rushing forward in two steps to get a closer look, Miyazawa Yu's actions startled the blue-haired, delicate girl. The next thing he said made her face instantly darken.
"Um! Just to be safe! Can I see your underwear?"
"Huh?"
"Yu! What the hell are you doing to our girl?!"
Having just come out of the room after changing, Iori Kitahara saw that Yu dared to say something like that to his only chance at survival. He immediately flew up and kicked him out of the store!
"I'm sorry! He's not very well in the head!"
"Did he scare you?"
"Ah~ A little bit, yeah..."
With both hands being held, Aina Yoshiwara looked at the two who had completely changed their attitudes and timidly pulled her hand back from Kohei's.
"Pfft! You guys ambushed me! You have no shame!"
Returning to the store covered in dirt, Miyazawa Yu leaned on the door frame and yelled, "Something's off! Eleven out of ten times, something's off! If a pretty girl like this is a good match for you guys, I'll eat my underwear right now!"
"Shut up, you idiot! This is our last hope!"
"I advise you to be kind, Yu!"
With tears in their eyes, Kohei and Iori couldn't care less about what Yu was saying. They quickly set out a plate of fruit and drinks, fawning over her.
"Hahaha—Actually, she also likes you, Yu. I'm very fair~"
Laughing with her hands on her stomach, Azusa Hamaoka didn't expect Miyazawa Yu's reaction to be so entertaining. She patted his shoulder and comforted him like a child.
However, Miyazawa Yu was not grateful. Instead, he crouched down and twisted like a snake, determined to find evidence that this girl was actually a muscle-bound girl!
On the other side, looking at the drink in front of her changing from alcohol to orange juice.
Unable to stand Iori's fawning attitude, Aina Yoshiwara sat on the sofa and raised her hand to introduce herself. "Hello everyone! Aina Yoshiwara, first-year at Oumi Women's Academy!"
"I quit Tinker Bell today and have joined the Pab club! That is all!"
"Huh?"
Aina Yoshiwara? That name sounded familiar!
Sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, thinking for a long time, Miyazawa Yu's eyes suddenly widened. He scooted back a dozen meters on his butt, speaking in terror.
"Ah! It's the Corpse-Makeup Beast!"
"Don't call me that!"
Having her hated nickname shouted out loud, Aina Yoshiwara slammed her hands on the table and yelled out the respectful title the campus forums had given Miyazawa Yu!
"How mean..."
He hadn't intended to bring that up. When Miyazawa Yu heard his new nickname, he instantly became depressed. He went to the corner and started drawing circles, cursing Aina to not get a seasoning packet when she ate instant noodles.
But Aina's torment didn't end there. At his reminder, Iori and Kohei also came to a realization.
"What?! How did you go from that Cakey to looking like this?! Did you get possessed?!"
"Your twin tails are gone, too!"
"That was a wig!"
Sitting back in her seat with one hand on the depressed Yu's head, Azusa Hamaoka looked at the chaotic scene in front of her and chugged a bottle of beer.
This was so entertaining!