"I'm back— huh, Iori, Kohei, what's wrong with you two? Aren't you afraid of getting sick sleeping out here?"
"Do you think we want to be here! Ugh— I'm going to die..."
Azusa Hamaoka had just come back and hadn't even had time to complain about being harassed. She looked down and saw two "pregnant women" lying face up at the door. Curious, she poked the barely breathing Iori, who looked like he was about to pass out. She then looked at Chisa Kotegawa with great interest.
"Little Chisa, did you use the 'way to completely wreck someone with alcohol' I gave you?"
"Unfortunately, they ended up turning on each other, so I didn't need to..."
"What?! You had another trick?! Azusa-senpai, how could you help an evil person like that!"
Like a dried-up salted fish, Kōhei Imamura convulsed a few times and then spoke with a look of terror. He was glad he had betrayed Iori first, or he would have been in a world of trouble. The two liters of shochu Iori had left would have been more than enough to make his eyes roll into his head.
"You're too stupid, so it's obvious whose side I'm on. Here, have some oolong tea."
He handed Kohei a real oolong tea to rinse his mouth. Miyazawa Yu then turned to Azusa Hamaoka and asked, "Azusa-senpai, did you run into some trouble? You got here even later than we did."
"Well~ you could say that. I was pestered by an annoying guy."
Speaking of it, Azusa Hamaoka felt tired. For some reason, the dark-skinned president of Tinker Bell seemed to have his eye on her. He had cornered her against a wall right after she left the beauty pageant. If she hadn't cleverly seen the "Handsome Men" poster on the wall and tricked him into signing up, she probably wouldn't have been able to get away!
"Ah— so that guy was trying to cuckold us! He's unforgivable!"
"Hey! Wake up, Iori! We have a job to do!"
"Huh? Who do we have to bury?"
"No, no, no! You can't bury him! Seriously, can't you guys just use words instead?"
Seeing that Miyazawa Yu's expression was calm but he was so angry he was crushing a glass wine cup, Azusa Hamaoka quickly stepped on the excited Iori's head, making him kiss the ground again. Although she also wanted to teach Tinker Bell's dark-skinned guy a lesson, she had to correct Yu and Iori's habit of immediately thinking about burying people! The three stooges harming each other was normal, but to a stranger, it would be a life-threatening experience! She didn't want her cute underclassmen to have to pass them alcohol through prison bars just because they stood up for her.
"Ah... mental warfare?"
Miyazawa Yu sat back down and threw the automatic shovel he had picked up to the side. He wanted to say that it was a waste of his muscles not to bury people, but since it was Azusa-senpai's request...
"Iori, I'll go throw that dark-skinned guy's indoor shoes into the back mountains."
"If that's the case, I'll reluctantly run naked for him around the campus with his name on it..."
"That's so low..."
Chisa Kotegawa couldn't even look at Iori and Yu. She moved a few meters away, not wanting to be associated with these shameless guys.
But Azusa Hamaoka's eyes lit up. She gave them a thumbs-up and approved. "That's the spirit! Don't harm people's bodies, just punish them mentally! That's the Pab Club's true spirit!"
"So, are you going to go cheer for him, Azusa?"
Ryūjirō Kotobuki and Shinji Tokita walked over and crouched down. Azusa Hamaoka naturally sat on their shoulders and bluntly said, "How could I? An annoying guy like that should be dealt with by Yu!"
"That's so mean..."
Kōhei Imamura's forehead was slick with cold sweat. He had a new appreciation for Azusa-senpai's personality. He could only say that people in real life were so much more complicated than anime characters!
"But it's okay, we've gathered all the guys now."
"That's right—"
"Huh? Gathered? What gathering?"
Iori Kitahara looked around in confusion. Everyone from the Pab Club was already here!
"Iori, have you forgotten? It's time to remind you of your tragic memories from this morning."
Miyazawa Yu sighed and pointed to the door. Iori Kitahara uneasily turned his head and saw the muscular guys from the other clubs he had drunk with this morning pushing the door open and walking in.
"Ah—!?"
"Oh, Iori, don't be so happy to see us!"
"We'll take it easy on you before the 'Handsome Men' starts!"
The shirts of the rugby and karate clubs flew high into the air. Seeing the muscular men add two more members to their naked team, Iori Kitahara and Kōhei Imamura could not accept this cruel reality!
"You're definitely lying!!!"
"The words 'take it easy' have no credibility at all!"
The two liters of undiluted shochu they had already drunk hadn't even been digested yet. If they had a choice, they wouldn't even want a single drop more! But at a joint drinking party hosted by the Pab Club, not drinking was no different from a crime!
"Wahahaha! Don't worry about the details!"
"No need to worry!"
"Azusa-senpai, don't encourage them! No!"
Iori Kitahara let out a high-pitched shriek, the kind a girl would make when cornered in an alley by delinquents. It had the effect of doubling his enemy's excitement as the muscular men quickly mixed oolong tea and walked towards him.
"Ugh— this is even worse than usual. I'm going to die..."
"By the way, why is Yu the only one not being forced to drink! That's not fair!"
Thirty minutes later, using the excuse of sobering up for the "Handsome Men," Iori Kitahara and Kōhei Imamura finally escaped the horrifying drinking party. They were now filled with resentment towards the relaxed Yu. That guy's body type was a perfect match for the seniors, so he blended in perfectly and wasn't forced to drink.
"Glug, glug, glug— actually, if you just resisted a little less and acted more obedient, it would have been fine..."
Miyazawa Yu's face was full of resignation. Drinking was like a forceful act. The more you resisted, the more excited the person forcing you to drink would get. So, if they just laid down and let themselves be hammered, the seniors would get bored and go easy on them. On the other hand, a guy like Iori, who resisted so fiercely every time, would even tempt him to bully them, so how could the seniors resist!
"So that's how it is! Yu, you're too cunning! You had such a good method and didn't tell us!"
"That's right! By the way, what are you doing out here? With your alcohol tolerance, you should still be in the game, right?"
"Ah, well..."
Miyazawa Yu recalled the shirt Azusa-senpai had taken off when she was drunk. His face instantly darkened, and he felt his stomach churn again.
"Anyway, for all sorts of reasons, you guys who were saved by the 'Handsome Men' should hurry up and sober up!"
"Tch, you have no right to say that, you 'hard root' contestant!"
Iori Kitahara bought a bottle of water from a vending machine to rinse his mouth. As he spat the water into a flower bed, he caught a glimpse of someone in the stairwell of the building next to them.
"That's..."
"Huh? Ah!"
Kōhei Imamura saw Iori staring in a certain direction and thought he had spotted a beautiful girl. He immediately went over to take a look. But when he saw the familiar twin ponytails, he immediately recognized the drunken girl as Aina Yoshiwara, the girl they had met at noon!
"Hmm? You guys..."
Aina Yoshiwara was startled by Kohei's gasp. She slowly looked up, and two lines of drool dripped from the corners of her mouth and into her collar.
"What... what's wrong with her this time?"
"I don't know, maybe she's going to invite you to drink with her? Hurry and show her your masculinity, Kohei~"
"No way!"
Miyazawa Yu patted Kohei's shoulder, as if to offer his deep condolences, as he watched the staggering Aina Yoshiwara approach.
"Hey— you—"
"Cakey!? Wait a minute!"
Cornered against a wall, Kōhei Imamura cursed the two disloyal jerks while frantically waving his hands, trying to reason with the girl.
"Huh?"
"Just why, why me! Why don't you go drink with your tennis club instead!"
"Huh? What are you talking about? Why did I confess to you?"
Aina Yoshiwara was barely conscious. She swayed as she got closer. Because she couldn't control her hands, she spilled alcohol all over herself. She now reeked of alcohol.
"Although that wasn't Kohei's question, we're interested! Please, elaborate!"
"Yu! You lowlife! Is this the time to be gossiping?"
"I'm sorry!"
Miyazawa Yu put his hands together and bowed deeply. He then stared at Kōhei Imamura with a sincere expression. "I'm really! Curious!"
"Curious about what!"
"Mhm... I'll tell you then. Originally, my target was you~"
Aina Yoshiwara straightened her body and pointed a finger at Miyazawa Yu's nose, but then it slid down to his chest.
"But you're good-looking, but you're a little too big! I don't like it!"
"Thank you so much!"
He never expected to be involved in this, but the result was good. Miyazawa Yu immediately prostrated himself in gratitude.
"What about Kohei? Why do you like him?"
Iori Kitahara came closer to ask. He had already guessed the answer from Aina's description of Yu, but he still wanted confirmation.
"Like... of course, I like him. It's because he's handsome enough!"
"...What a shallow reason!"
As expected, Iori and Yu both looked at her with contempt. At the same time, they began to consider whether they should give Kohei a few friendly punches. After all, this handsome guy's presence seemed to be getting in the way of their beautiful college encounters!