Watching her deputy, for some inexplicable reason, with a face so twisted by tears it seemed he could barely hold himself together, Shinzan's eyes were full of confusion.
She remembered being separated from him for only a few minutes. How could he be overcome by such overwhelming emotion upon seeing her again?
And he kept muttering about a 'miracle'… Wasn't a man like him the last person who should believe in miracles?
Shinzan strode quickly toward Richard, patted his shoulder, and spoke in a gentle, soothing tone.
"What's wrong? Is there trouble at home? Or is work too stressful lately? Do you need to take some annual leave to relax?"
But Richard only shook his head in response. Still weeping, he handed Shinzan a fax he had unconsciously crumpled in his grip.
Puzzled, Shinzan took the fax. The moment her eyes fell on the text, she was struck with the same shock that had just overwhelmed Richard.
She turned the short message over and over in her mind, rubbing the words together mentally until she almost couldn't recognize them. Finally, she spoke.
"Is this… real?"
"It's a message from the Student Council. They've never made a mistake before."
Even through his tears, Richard confirmed it with a steady reminder.
Shinzan didn't reply. She only silently tightened her grip on the fax, crumpling the already creased paper into an even more sorry state.
After who knows how long, she finally spoke.
"Will you come with me?"
Besides stating that Dream Weaver's condition had improved, the fax also expressed her wish to know how everyone was doing now.
As Richard's superior, who had gone from suspecting he was a spy sent from Europe to trusting him as her deputy, Shinzan naturally knew what Dream Weaver meant to him.
Richard was taken aback by the question. He wiped his reddened eyes and responded with a bitter smile.
"Better not. She probably doesn't even remember someone like me."
"Won't you regret it?"
"A little, perhaps. But knowing there's hope for her to wake up is enough. At least… there's a chance I might see her silhouette on the track again someday."
"More than me, she'd surely want to know how you are doing. As the final rival in her last race, the last person she personally saved… Dream Weaver must really want to see you again now."
Hearing Richard's words, Shinzan took a deep breath, suppressing the surging emotions in her chest. As she passed by him, she patted his shoulder once more.
"I'll tell her there's a man named Richard in this world whom she saved."
With that, she swiftly left the conference room.
Left alone, Richard silently adjusted his glasses and murmured to himself, "There are countless people like me whom she saved."
Then, glancing around the empty room, he dragged out a snickering Anthony from behind the door. Ignoring his friend's teasing look, he said with complete seriousness,
"It's our turn to handle affairs now. We have guests from the Middle East arriving for a meeting soon. Pull yourself together!"
"Rather than me, shouldn't the one with the red-rimmed eyes be the one pulling himself together?"
Not paying heed to the voice from behind, Shinzan hurried off, leaving the trivial matters to Richard.
There was something far more important she had to do now.
Stepping out of the New Japan Uma Musume Racing Association headquarters, a chauffeur, already prepared, pulled up in a sedan.
Without a moment's delay, Shinzan quickly entered and took a seat in the back.
Saying not a word, the driver—having been arranged by Anthony—silently drove her toward the rendezvous point.
Watching the scenery flow past the window, only now did Shinzan finally exhale the breath she'd been holding tight in her chest.
She unconsciously pinched her own arm. The obvious pain confirmed this was no dream.
Slumping into the back seat, Shinzan's expression held a vulnerability never seen before.
These past few years of driving herself relentlessly in her work—wasn't it all because she blamed herself for Dream Weaver's departure?
As her final opponent in that last race, Shinzan had wondered countless times: if she hadn't tried to push to her limit back then, would everything have been different?
If she hadn't been so fixated on pure victory back then, if she had chosen to withdraw after unleashing her full power and still found herself unable to defeat Dream Weaver… then Dream Weaver wouldn't have had to exhaust everything just to win against her.
She might even have been able to witness the era she herself had ushered in.
Striving with all her might, then choosing to let go and step back.
Pursuing pure victory, then choosing to push to the absolute limit.
A single thought's difference, two possible paths—these had tormented Shinzan's heart and mind through countless sleepless nights.
Time and again, she wished she could return to Kikuka-sho, return to that roaring Kyoto Racecourse, to the moment she made her final choice—and shift her weight just slightly to the other side of the scale.
If she had, would the future have been different?
Perhaps today, Dream Weaver would still be standing under the world's spotlight, leading the way, and Shinzan herself could have received a truly perfect ending.
But Shinzan also knew clearly in her heart—this wasn't what Dream Weaver would have wanted to see.
Dream Weaver wanted all Uma Musume to follow their hearts and chase their dreams.
Even Shinzan herself was on the list of those she had saved.
If Shinzan hadn't been so pure back then, it would have betrayed Dream Weaver's heartfelt efforts.
Yet, having made that choice, she inevitably pushed Dream Weaver herself to the limit, forcing her to drain everything she had for the sake of victory.
A dilemma with no easy answer.
Shinzan even felt she faced a choice more difficult than during the European era itself. Choosing one of the two paths meant betraying Dream Weaver's efforts either way.
So she could only give up. Summoning all her strength, she forced her trembling heart and mind into alignment.
Guided by the absolute imperative that Dream Weaver's sacrifice must not be in vain, she pressed herself forward.
To Shinzan, Dream Weaver—having lost her spirit, leaving only an empty shell—was no different from having passed away.
And she, Shinzan, as the survivor of that victory, had to shoulder the will of the departed and march on, no matter what.
Perhaps only when she herself became the departed one would the heaviness accumulated in Shinzan's heart finally be released. Only then would she have an excuse to forgive herself.
But just as Shinzan had resigned herself to the belief that no miracle would come, that she was destined to carry this guilt and pain, striving her whole life to live up to Dream Weaver's efforts…
Richard pushed open the door, bringing a miracle with him.
Now, slumped in the back seat, Shinzan completely understood why Richard had been weeping just moments before.
Because her own eyes, too, had long since filled with tears.
When a miracle one's heart had deemed impossible truly arrives, the first thing people feel is actually disbelief. The joy is too immense, too vast, so they can't immediately comprehend or accept it.
Moving from shock to tears takes time. It's a process—a moment where past memories flow freely through the heart, a burst of emotion breaking forth.
And now, Shinzan had completed that process.
She wept silently in the car. Her tears held no sorrow, only a joy too incredible to believe.
--+--
T/N: I have a Patreon! Webnovel will get 2 Chapters Every Day, and advanced chapters will be uploaded on Patreon.
It may not seem worth it now, but maybe in the future. Who knows!
[email protected]/AspenTL
If you guys wanna check it out.