The next day, I was sitting in my chair but it felt like I was still laying in that cold shrubbery.
My head was down on my desk, my arms laid next to my face, forearms pressing against my cheeks. From an outside perspective it may have looked like I was sleeping, but I assure I was not. My eyes frozen in a transfixed fire, forever staring intently at her.
She was talking to a brown-haired boy, his name was Xavier.
They were laughing, his eyes may have been closed but I assure you once again that her eyes were not.
I had no idea what they were laughing about and rightly, I didn't care.
I couldn't care.
I lifted my head slightly from the embrace of my arms and began to stare more provocatively.
She just kept laughing with a fixed gaze on Xavier, despite making hand and body gestures that indicated laughter her gaze was still as piercing and as unwavering as it has always been.
Staring straight, right at the heart.
In the middle of the apex of Xavier's laughter, a different type of joy painted Fahrenheit's face. She began to raise her left hand to shoulder level, extending her fingers outward in all directions. It gave a foreboding feeling.
Jeane's fluid movement suddenly stiffened as her smile welled up with a strange sense of something I could only describe as pain. She immediately stopped raising her hand, letting it fall towards a resting position.
She then gave a nod of exaggerated courtesy to Xavier and sat back down in her seat.
A squeaking sound emanated from a place to the left of my seat, I turned my head to face the commotion.
Kevin had walked through the door.
My face lit up in joy, I had been really worried about him, especially with what that bitch said to her last night.
I then gestured happily towards him and he came over and sat next to me in his assigned seat, with a forlorn smile decorating his face.
Normally as my duty as his girlfriend, I would ask him what's wrong. But I already know the answer to that question.
A lot of things are wrong.
From my understanding, his sister Celia had been sick for a while and last night or some time earlier what she had been sick with finally got her and she died to it. Somehow Jeane Fahrenheit had discovered this on the night it occurred, stalked his house, tried to mentally break him down further while he was burying his dead sister, and then told him to kill himself.
If that happened to me, I might just do it.
So I was very happy to see him showing up to school.
He then suddenly turned his head towards my direction and slightly widened his eyes, "I know you were there Cassy."
My entire body froze as my breath got hitched in my throat, I didn't quite know how to respond. It was expected that they would know that I was there, after all I did gasp pretty loudly.
"Maybe we can, uh, do, possibly, talk about it?" I stammered to him in a quick succession.
Shit.
"Talk? Can we talk? Sure we can talk. I love talking. Who doesn't love talking? Talking is great. It solves so many problems. I love solving problems, I've even been told of a solution. So yes, we can talk, let us go do it on the roof, Cassandra Amberlight." He spoke to me.
My face took on an ugly expression, the roof.
God please no.
I struggled to form a smile. My facial muscles contorting in ways that reassembled a smile but were slightly off in a myriad of ways.
My hands shook erratically as I brought them closer to my chest. I started to hyperventilate quietly.
Trying to stop my spiraling mind, everything else but me and him went dark. I ignored the smiles in that darkness and began to form a smile myself, a real smile, a true smile.
"Ye-s, let us go talk Kevin." I spoke, my mouth slightly twitching at the corners.
Kevin then formed a new smile, a strange smile, a mocking smile.
"Let us go then, Cassandra."
I don't remember much of the journey up the stairs, apart from the coldness.
Coming through the door to the roof with Kevin I was greeted by the light snowfall of a warm winter's day, the sun painting the horizon with a strange hue.
Kevin then walked to the middle of the concrete roof's floor, I instinctively reached my hands out towards him before curling my fingers back towards my palm in apprehension.
He directly spun on the heel of his foot to face me, still enamoured with that same mocking smile.
He started to laugh, "Hahahahahahahahaha! Cassy! Do you know what I'm going to do?!" He yelled.
My teeth clenched themselves in exasperation, "Please, listen to me. Just don't do it, I'm begging you. I won't say stupid lines like 'you have so much to live for' but at least you have me, please I'm here for you, please don't leave me!" I yelled back.
He took a step back and his smile got wider, he then took another and another, approaching the edge.
He put one foot on the edge, "I'M GOING TO JUMP CASSY! I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF, NO PLACEHOLDER WORDS FOR THE ACT THIS IS NOT 'UNALIVEMENT' THIS IS REAL CASSY, DO YOU FEEL IT TOO?! A MAN IS ABOUT TO KILL HIMSELF IN FRONT OF YOU, HE IS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE IN FRONT OF YOUR VERY EYES, FEW GET TO WITNESS WHAT YOU WILL!" He yelled uncontrollably.
He then took a deep sigh, "And I bet you're watching too, aren't you, Lightless Horizon." He spoke, turning to the sun.
"You know I hate you, I blame you, I detest you in all of your profane glory, BUT I WILL NOT FALL BEFORE YOUR TRICKS, YOU WILL NOT FEED ON MY DESPAIR, FOR I WILL NOT DESPAIR!" He yelled at the sun.
He then lifted his right hand towards the horizon and walked forth. That was the last action made by Kevin.
For the longest time, I just stood there in complete shock.
Until, someone came for me.
The image of her scarlet eyes dyed my vision in red rage.
The sight of her snow-white hair poured ice deep into my soul.
Jeane Fahrenheit stood before me with a pure white envelope in hand.
"Kev-Kev wanted me to give this to you after he died." She said with a small natural smile.
I felt so angry I didn't know how to respond, "H-Why did you tell him to kill himself when you knew he would do it!" I stammered angrily
Cocking her neck backwards she laughed languidly, "I just told him what he wanted to hear." She spoke calmly and resolutely.
"What the fuck, you mouth breathing whore! Shit ass theater slut! Don't fuck with me! You killed him!"
Jeane Fahrenheit put a hand up to her mouth and smirked gently, "I can't believe people like you exist. Those insults? There's nearly no creativity involved at all, I mean come on, this is your moment, when you confront the big bad wolf and what you do, use whore and slut?" She chastised me mockingly
I remember staring at the concrete floor for so long and sometime during that time Jeane Fahrenheit left.
I looked at the letter in hand, all my hitched breaths releasing all at once turning into an ear-piercing scream.
I quickly tore open that pure white envelope viciously, my eyes watering at the black words penned by a printer.
Even if it was too hard to read, even if it was in scribbles, I still would want Kevin's goodbye letter to actually be penned by him.
I cried for so long before reading it.
Dear, foolish girlfriend
Congratulations, if you are reading this letter it means you are alive and I failed.
I'm dead then, you might have a lot of questions or maybe you already obtained the answers.
If you have, please flip the page, if not continue to read my explanation.
Worms covered my vision, centipedes and millipedes. I look over between the bugs and insects, Jeane Fahrenheit's face looks back at me. It's a face I had never seen on her before.
What is it?
Ah, I know. It's an expression seen in the mirror a thousand times over, it was horror.
I aimed to bring my sister back from the clutches of hell.
So I dabbled in arts I knew I probably shouldn't have.
I know, a story as old as time.
By the end of this letter you'll come to realize that there was nothing special about me at all.
Jeane, why is she running with Arthur?
Our guide, why is he looking at me like that?
He walked over to me, he is holding my… he is holding my… he is holding my… OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS HE HOLDING!
If we both lost then everything is settled.
If not, then my suspicions may have been warranted and if they are I say this resolutely.
DO NOT TRUST FAHRENHEIT!
"AHHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHH! MY ARM, MY FUCKING ARM!"
I swung around widely in fear and pain.
All around me the eyes in the dark transformed into black suns.
Their mouths bled from the indents in their expressions and all whispered a single word with extreme volume, "Fahrenheit."
All in all, I am sorry Cassy. You are a good person.
And sometimes this nightmare I created, feels like an amalgamation of all of my sins.
If you are to remember me, I want to be of the good times we had together, not this.
You always talked about wanting to meet your parents once more, please forget about them, they do not love you.
And remember, I do not love you. So please don't cry out my name. I intended to use you for one I loved, but I'm not someone who wishes pain on anyone.
So if you do live past my satanic schemes, I wish you luck and happiness, happiness and luck my sister didn't get to experience because I'm sure she would have wanted that too.
Sincerely, the weakest and most pathetic man in the whole wide world, Kevin Haikenstah