CHAPTER TEN
EVREN
Being Nova Pharmaceuticals' legal advisor felt like a blessing from God. At least, that's what I would have thought if I believed in God.
Within the company, I could walk around as I pleased, take notes, and observe people, subject to certain restrictions. Legal consulting was a simple job, and the money Nova Pharmaceuticals paid me wasn't a huge amount, but they had no idea that I would use every penny they gave me against them.
The fact that Dila worked here was like the cherry on top of the cake.
Even though I knew she worked here, I didn't think I'd see her so soon. Unlike many people, Dila was a smart woman who could control herself. She knew why and for what purpose I was approaching her, and she resisted me. Even if the decisions her mind made conflicted with the decisions her body made, she chose to listen to her mind. Even though she said she had no intention of having sex with me again, I knew she would end up at my door eventually.
I understood this even better as I wandered around Nova Pharmaceuticals.
Dila was the outsider in that environment.
Her coworkers in the office didn't engage in much dialogue with her and often ignored her. She was one of two women in the Advertising Department, but all the attention went to her slightly younger rival with dyed blonde hair. Dila's usually sullen face, the sour look she gave when a man behaved inappropriately toward her, and her sarcastic responses didn't help either. Spending time in her department was more fun than in the others. I was here for work and had important things to do. Although I didn't shy away from flirting with women, I had no intention of sleeping with anyone at Nova Pharmaceuticals other than Dila. That was something that could cause problems later on. It was unlikely that such a problem would arise with Dila.
She wasn't strikingly beautiful. When I looked at her, I saw just another woman I might see on the street. She was normal and ordinary. She didn't have a face as noticeable as her blonde rival, she didn't have a waist as slim, nor did she flash smiles that would drive men crazy. It was understandable why the men at work didn't like her because men were always interested in a woman for the sake of having a sexual relationship with her. At least I was, and I thought other men in the world were too.
Dila wasn't dazzlingly beautiful, but she was very attractive, and I didn't think the other jerks at work noticed this. Her sharp tongue, her unfiltered words, her piercing gaze, her unyielding stance in the face of everything, her refusal to back down when others invaded her space, her lack of obligation to anyone, and her tendency to ignore people brought out the dark side in me.
Even though I liked being with strong-willed women, I had never desired someone again after having sex with them just once. Dila showed a different side of herself every day. The headbutt she gave me yesterday was proof of that. I never imagined she would actually headbutt me. Usually, in situations like this, they would melt in my arms, but Dila chose to headbutt me, curse at me, and walk away.
I would be lying if I said this didn't make my blood boil.
The more she acted like this, the more I wanted to chase after her, provoke her, fill her staring eyes with tears, push her stiff knees to the ground in front of me, and fuck her tight throat until she accepted that she would only obey me. Everything about her was instinctive and savage, there was nothing romantic about it, but it occupied my thoughts more than it should have.
She would come to my door anyway, her little tail tucked between her legs. But even knowing this didn't suppress my desires at that moment.
The more I observed her, the more I noticed Dila's loneliness. She sat alone during lunch breaks, went out for cigarette breaks alone, didn't talk to anyone outside of work, and for some reason, her dissatisfied boss only scolded her. Assuming that she and Oya were also on bad terms, she would definitely come to me soon.
While I was skimming through the Advertising Department's documents, I noticed someone looking at me. I didn't take my eyes off the documents I was looking at, but I shifted my gaze slightly to the right.
The person looking at me wasn't Dila, it was that blonde girl.
Dila was sitting two tables away, a pen stuck in her topknot, and she was trying to write something, mumbling with a second pen in her mouth. She reached for the glass bottle on her desk to drink some water, but kept forgetting to drink and returning to her work. It was clear her mind was elsewhere. Her eyes were also slightly puffy, as if she had been crying. I was sure no one else had noticed her condition. Reha had scolded her once that morning, and one of the men had blamed her. As far as I understood, the mistake in the advertising text had been overlooked, and although the other blonde woman was actually responsible, Dila had taken the blame. What's more, no one had even bothered to go and apologize.
I turned my eyes back to the documents in front of me. Convinced there was no significant problem, I pushed the documents forward on the desk and glanced at Kerim, the marketing specialist. He was the one most bothered by my presence because he had his eye on the blonde woman who was the copywriter. When Dila brought me the documents I wanted, he didn't even look at her face, let alone thank her. Not only was he completely lacking in gentlemanly manners, but it was clear he saw me as his rival.
"I've reviewed these documents for now, but I'd like to have the entire set digitally for a detailed review." I scanned the room. When the blonde woman saw me looking at her, she excitedly bent her head toward her computer. Kerim must have seen this because he frowned. "The dates and approval chains in the campaign contracts seem inconsistent. I need to clarify these. Do the content approval processes end with you, Mr. Temel?"
"Yes." I shook my head at Kerim's dissatisfied voice.
"Understood. Okay, I'll also check the differences between the final versions of the texts and the published versions. That's all for today. If you send me the documents, we'll see each other next week."
Kerim glanced at me, turned in his chair, and said to Dila, "Ms. Vatar! Please send the digital versions of the documents to Mr. Arısoy."
Dila frowned at me and then nodded to Kerim. I stood up and turned on my heel, my work here done. Just as I started to walk away, I heard the blonde woman's voice.
"Mr. Arısoy!" I looked over my shoulder at her. She asked timidly, "Could you... could you wait a second?"
"Of course." I smiled. I didn't remember her name. "What's the problem?"
She shyly tucked her hair behind her ears. When I turned to her, I noticed Kerim watching us with a frown. He was frowning so hard that his eyebrows would soon disappear into his eyes. "Well... I had an idea while reviewing one of these documents. I mean... I was just wondering... I wanted to get your opinion."
Without breaking my smile, I walked towards her. "Sure, you can show me. But let's be quick, I'll ask for the documents later to review them in detail."
When I approached her desk, she pulled her chair slightly toward me and pointed to the text she was writing with her finger. "This sentence... do you think it's right? Or is it a little harsh?" She looked at me and fidgeted shyly. "I don't know... I mean, with a small change, could it be more... effective?"
When she looked at me expectantly, I scanned the screen for a few seconds, then glanced at those watching us. Kerim looked furious, as if he might jump out of his chair at any moment, while Dila giggled quietly at Kerim's state. I guess after our closeness yesterday, she wasn't bothered by my conversations with other women. That was one of the things that attracted me to Dila. While many women would be furious at women I smiled at after a one-night stand, Dila didn't care about her coworker who used a silly excuse to talk to me. She probably wouldn't care even if I fucked another woman right in front of her. I both liked and was provoked by this side of her. For the first time, a woman was playing my role. Normally, I was the one who was so indifferent, who ran away after sex and didn't give a damn. The fact that Dila had stolen this role from me annoyed me at some point. It was unacceptable that she could turn her back on me with such confidence.
I looked back at the screen and then turned to the woman who was looking at me expectantly. When I leaned toward her slightly, I noticed she was holding her breath with excitement. "Legally, there's no problem. From a marketing perspective, the message is clear." I tilted my head slightly toward her and curled my lips upward. "But if you want, we can work on alternatives."
The woman pressed her lips together, took a small breath through her nose, and slowly murmured, "Hmm... So you're saying it's acceptable?" She opened her eyes wide and slid a little closer to me in her chair, as if she wanted to fall into my mouth. "I wanted to see it from your perspective."
I felt Kerim's fiery gaze on me and sat up straight to avoid the conversation going somewhere risky. Kerim didn't matter, but the ridiculous rumors that could arise with this woman would interfere with my work. "Yes, it's acceptable." I nodded. "But don't forget, I'm responsible for eliminating risks; the customers will say whether the text is effective. But it was good to hear your opinion."
The woman smiled shyly and clasped her hands together in her lap. "Thank you... Maybe we can talk in more detail sometime, right? Just..." She looked at me timidly. "Out of curiosity, of course."
I exhaled through my nose and smiled slightly. "Sure." I put my hands in the pockets of my fabric pants and blinked my eyes in agreement. "If you send the documents digitally next week for a detailed review, we can go over them together."
"Ms. Korkaya!" Kerim's raised voice made us both turn our heads toward him. Only Dila and I could see the traces of anger on Kerim's face as he tried not to show it. The woman, whose name I learned was İlge, jumped up anxiously. "Can you come?"
"Of course!" She thanked me with her eyes and got up anxiously, while I noticed Dila chuckling under her mustache.
I stepped aside to let her pass, and Dila looked at me and moved her lips. I carefully watched those beautiful lips that had eagerly sucked my dick like a lollipop just a few days ago.
It didn't take me long to understand what she was saying.
You've finally been useful for once in forty years, you pervert!
My smile widened.
Kerim was telling the woman something, so I made sure no one was watching and parted my lips.
You know best what I'm good for.
When Dila understood what I said, she pretended to gag, turned her head away with a quick snort, and went back to her work. I had to pretend to cough to stifle my laughter. Finally, covering my mouth with my fist, I left the office, feeling that joy rising from my chest that comes from having fun.
I would have more fun at Nova Pharmaceuticals.
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Reviewing the departments took me a whole day. They would email me the necessary documents later, and I would then start preparing seminars tailored to each department.
Actually, I didn't need to be at Nova Pharmaceuticals on Tuesday, but for some reason my feet had brought me here in the afternoon. Even though I used my research as an excuse, I knew that the control freak inside me wanted to see Dila.
It had been over a week since I met Dila for the second time.
Even though I had sex with three other women after that, my hands wanted to grab her hair every time and hear her curse at me, even if she twisted in need. No one resisted me as much as she did. My rabid dog was here and refusing to come to me. Yet all I wanted was to train and discipline her.
Today, I wanted to put a collar around that neck she covered with her hair and badage her in the crab position. I wanted to insert a vibrator into her cunt, accessible only to me, and watch her lose her mind as I operated it at a level that wouldn't let her climax. I wanted to watch her struggle, see the saliva dripping from her mouth, and hear her beg me, her eyes filled with need as I sat on the couch drinking my rum. I wanted her to crawl on the floor like a dog, come up to my feet, and scream how much she wanted my cock, showing me her wet pussy between her open legs. I wanted to fuck her on the floor until she accepted that she was my dog to fuck.
She couldn't even imagine the things I wanted to do to her.
When I found Dila smoking alone on the terrace, I walked over to her. She seemed annoyed about something, but since she was annoyed with everyone and everything, I couldn't tell if it was something extreme.
I took my cigarette out of my pocket, clamped it between my lips, and as I walked over to her, I asked, "Do you have a lighter, Ms. Vatar?"
She looked up and sighed when she saw me. She squeezed the cigarette between her lips, took a lighter out of her pants pocket, and extended it to me, who was standing above her on the bench where she was sitting. "Here you go, Mr. Arısoy."
I smiled and reached out to her. She looked into my eyes for a few seconds, took the cigarette from her mouth with one hand, and blew smoke into my face. As the smoke she blew into my face made my eyes water, she said in a mocking tone, "Give me your paw." She held her palm out to me.
I couldn't help but smile at her audacity. I took the cigarette from between my lips and bent down to her outstretched palm. For a moment, she thought I was really going to put my hand in her palm, but I surprised her by sinking my teeth into the flesh between her thumb and index finger, and she jumped in place.
"Hey, you insolent animal! Begone, begone!" She quickly pulled her hand away and wiped it on her pants, looking at me with disgust.
"You never had a problem with my mouth being on your body before," I said, putting the cigarette back between my lips. "You're overreacting."
She lowered her lip and asked, "If I light that cigarette, will you fuck off?" I shrugged but didn't say anything. She looked at my face for a few more seconds, lit my cigarette with her lighter, and took a deep breath. She sighed as I sat down next to her on the bench. "Why am I not surprised?"
"This is a public area open to all company employees, not private property." I crossed my legs and, freeing my hair from its clip, began rubbing my sore scalp with my free fingers to soothe it. "I have the legal right to be here."
"There's a terrace on every floor, did you know that?" she asked, sliding to the end of the bench, trying to get away from me. She pointed to the upper floor with her cigarette. "On the upper floor too," she pointed to the lower floor and flicked her ash on the ground. "On the lower floor too. There are no boundaries, you can go wherever you want."
"You're not there, are you?" I smiled slightly when she glanced at me. "Don't look at me like that, you're not the only person I know here. You could be a little civilized, couldn't you?"
"Civilized?" She raised her eyebrows and turned her body slightly towards me. "I guess you forgot what you did on your first day at the company?"
"I wanted to say hello politely." I tilted my head toward her and smiled irritatingly. "You can say you didn't like it, but I know you did."
"You're a very egotistical man." For the first time, she said it not to belittle me, but as if she wanted me to know. "Every woman in the world is dying to get into your bed, right?"
"Why are you framing a fact as if it were a fantasy?" I asked kindly, but I knew she didn't find me sweet at all.
"Shouldn't you be running away from me at this point?" She took a drag on her cigarette and narrowed her eyes. "What about the fear of commitment after sex, ignoring the woman? What happened to that kind of behavior? What kind of womanizer are you?"
"What if I told you that your running away from me attracts me even more?"
When I asked her the question while looking into her eyes, she laughed and said without hesitation, "You're crazy, I'd say."
Yes, maybe I was crazy.
Maybe I had lost my mind. I had come to the office on a day when I didn't even need to be there, just to be able to talk to a woman who hadn't spoken to me in a week. Wasn't that proof that I had lost my mind?
But for me, everything could be explained by instinct. I didn't think Dila understood that.
"Mild-mannered men will bore you to death, Dila." I tilted my hair to the right and stretched my hand behind the bench. "Men like me, on the other hand, will kill you with pleasure."
"Are you saying you're not boring?" She stubbed out her cigarette on the edge of the bench. Today she was wearing cream-colored pants and a white, frilly shirt. The top three buttons of her shirt were open, and when she bent over, I could see her breasts filling the white lace bra. To fill the void her breasts created in my mouth, I reached for my cigarette and took a deep drag. Everything Dila did without realizing it was enough to drive me crazy. Now I wanted to take those tits in my mouth and finger her pussy while sucking them.
Trying to ignore my trembling penis in my pants, I said, "Don't let my being a lawyer fool you, sweet Dila, there's a lot you don't know about me."
"Like what?" she asked, unable to hide the hint of curiosity in her voice.
I took one last drag of my cigarette, threw the butt on the ground, crushed it with my foot, and turned toward her on the bench. Dila narrowed her eyes and looked at me curiously as I reached my arm behind the bench and pulled her toward me. Dila leaned back in surprise, but it didn't help.
My fingers caressed her bra through her white shirt as I bent my head and kissed between her breasts. Dila's chest rose with excitement as I ran my nose between her nipples and lifted my head slightly toward her. My hair fell over my eyes as Dila pressed both hands against my shoulders.
"This and many other things like it." My fingers slid down her bra toward her waist, and when I grabbed and squeezed her buttocks, I heard a trembling breath escape her lips. When I turned my head and kissed her breast spilling out of her bra, she squeezed my shoulders.
"Get off me." When I heard Dila's commanding voice, I looked at her again.
Her pupils were dilated, her fingers pressed into my shoulder, weakly trying to push me away. I listened to her, realizing she was fighting with herself and that I had pushed her enough for today, and got off her. As I stood up, she stood up too. She smoothed her clothes and looked at me with furrowed brows.
"Are you going to say something, sweet Dila?" I asked, unable to resist teasing him.
"You can't touch me whenever you want."
"Don't you like me touching you?" I asked this time.
"I don't like it!" she said, lifting her nose.
I pretended to sniff the air and laughed. "I can smell your lie, sweet liar."
"I'm very serious." I could see her jaw clenching. Was she going to cry?
Had I gone too far? I thought this was a game between us. Was I wrong?
"Are you serious?" I asked curiously. Dila pressed her lips together and studied my expression. She was probably trying to figure out if I was joking or if I was serious.
"I'm not a machine whose only purpose is to provide you with sex," she said, trying to control herself. I couldn't help frowning. "Don't confuse my body's natural reactions with my consent. You're a handsome man, you're nice, you're charming, and you already know how I feel when you touch me. These are natural processes, not things I can control or make happen at will." She fixed her eyes on mine and looked at me with fire in her sparkling pupils. I could tell she was trying hard not to cry, but she wasn't backing down. She knew she had to put me in my place, and she didn't want to cry in front of me.
Suddenly, a feeling I mistook for pride welled up inside me. I admired the struggle he had waged for himself.
"Still," she said, her voice remaining stern. Unlike before, there was no playful expression on her face. She looked at me with pure seriousness. "You keep acting this way. I know what you want from me, but I have no intention of giving it to you. I don't know what twisted fantasies you've conjured up in your mind, but if you touch me again without my consent, I will report you for harassment."
I nodded understandingly at what she said in one breath. In a voice as serious as hers, I said, "I understand."
Dila blinked in surprise for a few seconds. "What?" She shook her head, as if to come to her senses, and raised her hand. "What did you say?"
"I understand," I repeated. "I thought we were joking around or playing some kind of game between us. I didn't mean to upset you specifically. I really didn't think you felt that way. Even if I were a selfish jerk or a womanizer, touching women without their consent is not one of my virtues." I stood up and gathered my loose hair under Dila's curious gaze, then turned back to her. "I'm sorry."
Dila rubbed her ear with my apology, trying to make sure she had heard correctly. "What? Wait a second. What?"
"I'm ending this game here. I won't bother you again, and I'll act like I don't know you, just like you wanted." I gave a slight nod and walked towards the door. I was sure Dila was staring after me in shock.
She wasn't expecting me to apologize or admit my mistake, but no matter where she placed me in her mind, and even if most of it was true, there were two things I would never be.
One of them was a criminal.
I hated criminals.
When she told me seriously that she didn't want me to care about her, touch her, or be around her, it was over.
At that point, it didn't matter how much I desired her. She might have thought I'd go back to my old self the next day, but I would stand by my word and not even go near her.
I had no intention of becoming one of those criminals I hated.