In the modest kitchen of the Shinigami shrine, three redheads sat around a wooden table — the Uzumaki twins and their newly found relative, Karin. Sunlight filtered through the paper partitions, illuminating a plate of cookies and simple clay cups. The air smelled of herbal tea, but the atmosphere was far from homely.
Menma sat straight, fingers interlocked, staring at Karin the way an interrogator studies a suspect with a long criminal record. His gaze was far too sharp for casual conversation, and it unsettled Karin instantly.
Naruko, on the other hand, looked like she had stumbled into a friendly gathering: sipping tea with gusto, crunching on cookies, swinging her legs under the table, clearly enjoying the role of spectator.
"So, cousin," Menma drawled, not looking away. "Where exactly did you drop on our heads from?"
"I…" Karin nervously pushed her cup closer and lowered her gaze. "I wasn't born in the Land of Fire. I used to live in Grass."
Her words came out dry, as if confessing to something shameful. Then, hesitantly, she laid out her story. The same one Menma knew perfectly well from canon, but now he heard it from her own lips: how her mother, just an ordinary woman with a baby in her arms, ended up a prisoner in the Hidden Grass, forced to heal the wounded without proper food or shelter. How Karin grew up watching her mother wither away, day by day, drained to the last drop. And how, a year ago, she was gone completely.
Karin's voice faltered, and she couldn't hold it in — tears streamed down her cheeks, glistening in the sunlight.
Menma watched silently, listening not only to her words but to the undertone beneath them. His sensory skills picked up her emotions clearly — pain, sincerity, brokenness. Not a trace of lies. Everything was raw, everything was real.
"Let me help," Naruko said softly. She slipped off Karin's glasses and wiped her tears with a handkerchief.
"Thank you," Karin breathed deeply several times, trying to calm herself.
[My sweet sister always had compassion. Unlike me.]
"If you're a kunoichi from Grass, that means you serve your village," Menma remarked coldly. "So why are you wearing Konoha's forehead protector?"
Karin looked up at him, her eyes red.
"Until recently, I was still in Grass… doing my mother's duties. But eight days ago, your Hokage came to our village. He discussed something with our leader, then came to my shack. He told me my surname was the name of an ancient clan, allies of Konoha. He said I'd be better off here… and so far, he hasn't lied."
She sniffled again, but Naruko quickly pushed a cup of tea into her hands, and Karin obediently took a sip, as if hoping to drown the lump in her throat.
Menma rubbed his temples tiredly.
"Wait. The Hokage just took you by the hand and led you into Konoha?"
"Well… yes," she nodded.
"No one chased you? No secret escapes, no pursuit?"
"No, we walked calmly through the gates," Karin faltered, clearly not following his line of thought.
[So Hiruzen is just that mighty — he can casually snatch a kunoichi from an enemy village? With his power and authority, maybe. But why would he? Damn old monkey, you're scheming again.]
"And Hokage said that you," Karin glanced at the twins, a bit more confident now, "as the last Uzumaki in Konoha, should look after me."
"Well of course!" Naruko beamed with disarming enthusiasm. "You're our cousin, Karin-chan! Naturally, we'll find you a spare room!"
Menma drummed his fingers on the table, looking away. He had nothing against Karin herself, but her sudden arrival reeked of conspiracy.
"I'll talk to Hokage today," he said at last. "For now, let's deal with your move. Where are your things?"
"At the inn," Karin admitted. "I've been staying there all week. But I don't have much, just one bag."
"You got proper kunoichi gear?" Menma asked, already expecting the answer.
"No…" she shook her head. "I threw away everything from Grass. And with the money Hokage gave me, I only bought this dress…"
"You won't impress Yamato-sensei twice with that outfit," Menma snorted. "Alright. Let's go shopping."
He stood up decisively and walked out, leaving Karin no chance to object. Naruko, as cheerful as a cat, grabbed their new cousin's hand and tugged her along.
To Karin's surprise, they didn't head toward the village center. The path led through tall grass and rows of trees toward their nearest neighbors.
The Uchiha clan.
It had been five years since the tragedy. The grief still lingered in the air, but life hadn't vanished here. On the contrary, the Uchiha district breathed routine: housewives hung spotless laundry on lines, old men grilled fish and argued over shogi, children dashed about kicking a ball.
The Uchiha quarter lived, laughed, and bustled. All thanks to Sasuke, who had finally decided to rent out houses. He badly needed funds to support his business.
Menma stopped in front of a two-story building with a bright sign: a sharingan and a shuriken painted on it, with the words below: "Uchiha Weapons. We're Open Again."
Inside the shop lingered a light scent of oil and metal, mingled with the aroma of fresh wood. Shinobi gear stood displayed on mannequins: from standard green vests to massive crimson armor once worn in Hashirama's day. Shelves were stacked with crates of kunai and shuriken, sold either one by one or by the bag. Behind glass cases lay katanas, kusarigamas, and other expensive toys for those who preferred steel over jutsu.
Behind the counter, hunched over a stack of papers, sat Sasuke. His stern gaze was fixed on an invoice, pen scratching across the page. He only looked up when the door opened to reveal three identical red-haired heads.
"You work as a shop clerk now?" Menma raised a brow, leaning on the counter.
"Just today. I need to fill out the new supply estimate," Sasuke replied calmly. "And those two…" he nodded toward Sakura, who was browsing protector fabrics, and Sai, who was sketching intently in a notebook, "are wasting time."
"Oh, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura puffed her cheeks — a gesture far too childish for her age. "You promised a discount for teammates."
"He didn't know yet that your heat cycle had started," Sai cut in with his wide, ear-to-ear, utterly unnatural smile.
"Jerk!" Sakura snapped, turning sharply back to the shelves with a stomp, though she clearly had no intention of leaving.
Menma watched with lazy interest, propping his elbows on the counter. In a low voice, he asked:
"So, what's your take on this Sai?"
"I think he got shell-shocked on a mission," Sasuke said dryly, cutting a side glance at his grinning teammate. "When Kakashi asked what he dislikes, Sai answered: 'looters, rapists, and pink hair.'"
At that, Naruko collapsed onto the floor, rolling with laughter. Between gasps, she babbled something about finding a fellow troll.
"Hold on," Menma's lips curled. "He seriously put Sakura in the same category as looters and rapists?"
"Yeah," Sasuke allowed himself the faintest smile.
Meanwhile, Sai set his pencil down and walked toward Naruko, flashing his signature, creepily empty smile.
"My book says you can win someone over by giving them a nickname," he reported in his monotone. "I'll call you Tomato. Your green clothes remind me of a pod, and your head looks like a tomato."
[And he's grinning. Just begging for a brick in the face.]
"Oh, Sai," Naruko sighed like a strict teacher over a hopeless student. "You just don't feel the line. And when you cross it, there's always a natural reaction."
Without warning, she socked him in the face. Sai flew out the door. Naruko dashed after him and dropped onto him with some kind of wrestling move. The door slammed, and sounds of a lively scuffle erupted outside.
Sasuke phlegmatically returned to his papers. Sakura, smiling smugly, inspected a pair of boots as if nothing was happening. Menma lazily glanced at the wall clock. Only Karin stood frozen, jaw hanging open.
"Isn't anyone going to stop them?!" she blurted out.
"No," Menma closed his eyes, tuning in with his sensory skills. "No jutsu being used. My sister's just teaching him some manners."
And so it was. A few minutes later the noise died down, and two figures came back into the shop: Naruko and Sai, leaning on each other's shoulders. Both were covered in dust, hair disheveled. Sai sported a solid black eye (Sakura smiled), Naruko had a split lip (Sakura scowled). But both grinned ear to ear like the best of friends.
"Sai's awesome!" Naruko wiped the blood from her lip with the back of her hand. "He trolls nonstop!"
"I'm not upset at all, Naruko," Sai declared, prodding a loose tooth with his tongue. "Getting angry at women with premenstrual syndrome means stooping to their level."
Sakura and Karin both flushed scarlet with outrage. Naruko's grin only grew wider.
"Told you so!" She let go of Sai, and he crashed to the floor. "Hilarious guy! Sakura-chan, can I take Sai out of your harem? I want to have his babies!"
Karin choked on air. Sai's ears betrayed him by turning bright red.
"Go ahead," Sakura waved her off casually, as if they were talking about an unwanted trinket. "No returns."
Naruko dragged Sai to a corner and whispered something animatedly into his ear. Menma could practically feel it: his sister was loading up another troll-bomb. Soon, Team Seven was going to get very entertaining.
Karin was still gaping.
"But… how? Naruko's planning to marry a guy she just met five minutes ago… Is that normal?"
"Forget it," Menma waved lazily. "My sister's got seven Fridays in a week. Yesterday she promised to marry Akamaru, for example."
"Who's that?" Karin asked blankly.
"A puppy," Menma explained with perfect calm.
Karin opened her mouth, then shut it again. It seemed she was only now beginning to grasp Naruko's real psychological portrait.
"By the way, who's that?" Sasuke, still not looking up from his papers, lazily gestured with his pen toward Karin.
"My cousin," Menma replied flatly.
That finally made Sasuke lift his eyes and narrow them. "There are still Uzumaki left?"
"Only found out myself today," Menma spread his hands. "But fact is, my poor cousin needs a full kunoichi kit."
"I'll help!" Sakura instantly brightened, bored with boots already. She grabbed Karin's hand and pulled her toward the mannequins. "I'll make you the most stylish kunoichi in Konoha!"
Karin cast a helpless glance at the twins, her eyes darting like a trapped animal's. Menma only gave the faintest nod.
Once the girls disappeared behind the racks, he leaned closer to Sasuke and whispered almost soundlessly:
"The Cats — are they here?"
Sasuke gave the slightest shake of his head. "No. They'll be back in a month, with new stock."
"Good. When they come — set up a meeting. I'll need to speak with them."
A nod. No wasted words. That was enough: Sasuke never broke his promises.
For the next two hours, Sakura played the role of an overzealous personal stylist, chasing Karin from one rack to another. The rest passed the time gossiping about their mentors.
Finally, a timid voice came from behind the curtain:
"So… what do you think?"
Karin stepped out, blushing to the tips of her ears. She wore short black shorts, a mesh shirt, and a light green yukata over the top. Adjusting her sleeves as if trying to hide inside the fabric, she added: "I chose green to match you two."
"Not bad," Menma said evenly, noting that at least she now looked like a kunoichi instead of a girl hunting for a husband.
"Your shorts are shorter than the dress," Naruko drawled with satisfaction. "Now I can admire your legs even more."
Karin flared red instantly and dropped her gaze to the floor. Sai, meanwhile, beamed his dead-eyed smile and began scribbling in his notebook — like a student taking notes at the lecture of a trolling master.
After saying their goodbyes to the former classmates, the Uzumaki trio headed for the inn. Karin quickly packed her meager belongings — one bag, a couple of shopping bags — and soon they were already on their way back to the Shinigami shrine.
There, sitting on the stone steps and lazily puffing on a pipe, awaited Hiruzen.
"Hello, genin," he greeted warmly, rising to his feet. "So, how was your first day outside the Academy?"
"Grandpa!" Naruko exploded at once, clenching her fists so tight her knuckles whitened. "You made me angry today!"
Hiruzen blinked, clearly not the reaction he expected. The pipe wavered slightly in his fingers.
"How could you?!" Naruko pressed on, advancing like an offended child. "How could you leave Karin-chan wasting away in an inn for a whole week?! Why didn't you bring her straight to me?!"
"Ah, so that's what this is about…" the old man visibly relaxed and drew calmly on his pipe again. "Forgive me, Naruko-chan, I meant it as a surprise. Didn't you like Karin?"
"Are you kidding? She's wonderful!" Naruko instantly turned to the girl, hugged her so tightly the bags nearly fell from her hands, and planted a loud kiss on her cheek. "I already love her!"
Karin froze, blushing as red as her own hair.
"I knew you'd understand," Hiruzen said gently, pretending not to notice Karin's embarrassment. His gaze shifted to Menma. "And you, Menma-kun, will you look after your cousin? Karin-chan has nowhere else to live."
"Of course," he nodded curtly.
[As if I could answer otherwise. Damn old monkey. Still can't figure out what game he's playing.]
"I don't just mean housing and food," Hiruzen's voice took on its usual mentor's tone. "You must have heard, Menma-kun: every team is formed to balance strengths and weaknesses. That's why Karin was placed in the top team of the year. But her schooling in Grass…" he sighed, "unfortunately doesn't measure up to ours."
Menma noticed Karin's eyes drop in embarrassment.
"But I can count on you and Naruko to help her catch up quickly, can't I?" The old man's gaze grew probing.
"Of course, Grandpa!" Naruko clung even tighter to Karin, as if someone might try to take her away. "No one's going to hurt my Karin-chan!"
Menma only gave a restrained nod.
"Well then, I won't keep you," Hiruzen said, heading toward his office. "Rest up. Tomorrow is your first team training."
"Wait a second," Naruko suddenly piped up. "Is Karin-chan a close relative of mine?"
"As far as I know, no," Hiruzen exhaled a puff of smoke. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, just wondering," Naruko twirled a lock of hair around her finger innocently. "If I start dating Karin-chan, will that count as incest or not?"
Hiruzen froze. This time the pipe really did slip from his fingers and hit the stone with a dull clatter.
[She actually broke him. Love her.]