Chapter 154: Multiple Playthroughs — Paradise Arc (Part 2)! (End of Arc)
Mikasa.
More than anyone, she sensed the change in Eren. That growing sense of detachment. The feeling that he was drifting away from humanity itself.
She watched him. She saw the emptiness in his eyes, the terrifying power he occasionally displayed. Her heart ached with unspoken pain and deep confusion. She didn't understand what he had been through. Carla and Grisha were still alive. She and Armin were still here. He had seemingly avoided every crisis through sheer intuition.
And yet. He felt so distant, as if standing on the other side of the world.
But she knew this was Eren. The Eren she had sworn to protect, the Eren she had always wanted to stand behind.
She didn't cry. She didn't scream or question him. That wasn't her way. She chose the most silent, persistent action to express her presence and care.
Silently following him. Watching him from afar when he sought solitude. Appearing just when he might need her. Simply standing nearby.
She couldn't understand him, but she wouldn't give up on him. This wordless companionship was all she could offer. It was the most direct expression of her deep, reserved feelings. Her eyes held sorrow and worry, but also an unwavering, gentle light. It was the gaze of family, perhaps even of a lover.
The despair suppressed in his heart reached its peak one night. Perhaps his power was on the verge of spiraling out of control, or perhaps a wave of loneliness simply crashed over him. Eren stood alone at the edge of Paradis, whispering incoherently to the dark sea. His mind was a string pulled to its breaking point; a single touch would snap it.
Mikasa sensed something was wrong. She found him. Standing not far away, she quietly watched his exhausted, near-broken back.
Eren turned around. His eyes were still numb, yet held an extreme emptiness. He looked at Mikasa. In that moment, perhaps he saw the figure that had silently guarded him through countless loops. Her death, her injuries, her despair, her tears, repeated over and over.
Under the extreme exhaustion and repression, he spoke. His voice was hoarse, broken, filled with intense self-negation and emptiness. No coherence. No logic. Just a fragmented outpouring of despair.
"Mikasa…"
"I…"
"Nothing…"
"I haven't changed anything…"
"I'm… such a bastard…"
"Always failing… again and again…"
"Still… I haven't changed a bit…"
"Still can't do anything…"
"Nothing…"
"Ah-hahaha…"
As he spoke, it sounded like he was crying, yet also laughing. But the overwhelming helplessness and self-loathing pierced deep into Mikasa's heart.
"Ah-hahaha… AAAHHH-hahaha…"
Mikasa listened quietly to his breakdown. She didn't interrupt. The sorrow in her eyes was bottomless, but still steady. She wouldn't ask what happened, nor would she offer hollow comfort.
When Eren's voice faded into a dead silence, she spoke in her firm, slightly husky voice. Not fast. She didn't respond to his "uselessness" or "self-negation." Instead, she responded directly to his existence with action.
She walked up to him, standing right in front of him.
"Eren, look at me."
She looked into his eyes. Those eyes that once burned with fire, now empty and tired. Then, using the simplest, most direct words that represented her truest feelings, she voiced her unconditional acceptance. No flowery language. No distant promises. Only the present, this moment, the truest companionship.
"That's not true, Eren."
"Eren, I'm here."
"Thank you for always being by my side."
"Thank you for teaching me how to survive."
"Thank you for wrapping this scarf around me."
She didn't try to understand what he had been through. She didn't try to solve his problems. She just expressed her presence. Expressed her gratitude. Expressed her unwavering loyalty. It wasn't about what he had done. It was only about "him," the person. She used the simplest, most sincere way to bind her trust to "this person."
"To me, Eren is just Eren."
"The Eren who protected me when we were small."
"The person I believe in is that you."
"The Eren who would charge at a Titan for everyone's sake."
"You don't have to carry so much alone anymore. We can rebuild together, even if it's just finding a moment of peace."
"I will always fight by your side."
She didn't say everything would be okay. She just said she was "there." Just believed in him. And was willing to bear it all with him. This was her deepest expression of emotion. The real, faint light she could offer Eren right now.
"I… I can't do anything anymore!"
"I've struggled, I've suffered, but what's the result?"
"Everyone… because of me…"
"My power is too small, everything slips through my fingers, I can't keep anything!"
"I hate myself the most!"
Mikasa listened quietly, responding to Eren's powerlessness.
"But that's not you. You're not someone who gives up easily."
"It was you who gave me this scarf when I lost my parents and thought the world was grey. You gave me warmth, gave me the courage to live."
"It was you who taught me to fight. You told me if I don't fight, I can't win."
"It was you who saved me from despair. When I thought it was all over, you appeared."
"As long as you're here, I can keep fighting."
"So, Eren, I believe in you."
"Because the Eren who saved me will definitely lead us to the hope of freedom."
"To me, if you're not here, none of this fighting has any meaning."
"It's you who gave me a reason to keep fighting."
"If carrying it all alone is too heavy, I will become your strength. I will bear it with you."
"We will fight together, until the very end of our lives."
At the moment when his spirit was about to collapse completely after experiencing the malice of the world countless times, these words became a spiritual pillar more real than any power he could grasp. This filled the giant void in his heart. This was the fragile treasure he needed to protect.
But this did not pull him back to the "normal" track. Instead, it solidified his resolve even further.
He had to create a "perfect" Paradise.
Despair bred numbness. Numbness invited protection. Protection, twisted, finally pointed towards destruction.
This was the "answer" he had found, the only correct one in his eyes.
The last hesitation in his eyes vanished completely, replaced by an absolute resolve. He was no longer lost. He would personally turn King Fritz's lie of "Paradise" into a bloody "truth" of his own making.
Paradis Island would no longer need Walls. Because the world outside would be turned into an absolutely safe void.
He would use his own hands, before the inevitable end of Witchification, to present a clean "Paradise"…
For his comrades. For Mikasa.