Some quests looked dumb, tiny things, like find a lost cat, or deliver bread to baker across town. Others were big, grand, scary, like slay a wyvern, or clear the bandit fortress in the west.
His fingers were moving over the papers, going slow and tapping on them one by one, and at the same time his lips were moving too, whispering the words like he was reading them only for himself.
His eyes were running fast over everything, going from top to bottom and then left to right, like he didn't want to skip even a single quest that was there.
"No… no… not this one… too hard… nope…" he muttered under his breath. His finger slid down another sheet. "What's that? Lost cat?" His eyebrow twitched.
He kept going, his finger bouncing from paper to paper. "Nope… bandits? Hell no… ogre? Are you kidding me… oh come on…"
His mouth twisted as he read each, his lips moving faster, his head shaking side to side, hunting for something that looked easy. Something he could actually do without dying in the first five minutes.
His fingers finally stopped moving, and his lips started to curve up on their own.
First a small chuckle came out, soft and quick, but then another one followed, louder this time, and before he knew it his whole face was breaking into a wide grin.
At last, he found it. Finally, a quest that looked like it was meant for him, something he could actually try, something that didn't look like it would scream death at him in just the first few steps.
He yanked the paper off the board fast, almost tearing it. Didn't even care. He turned quick, grabbed her wrist tight, and pulled her along.
"Got it! Let's go!" he said, stomping his feet hard on the floor as he dragged her out of the guild like the building was about to blow up behind them.
He ran fast, not letting go of her wrist that he was holding tight, and in his other hand the paper was crushed up from how hard he had been gripping it.
His eyes kept darting everywhere, left then right then back again, like he was desperate to find a way out and didn't have time to slow down even for a second.
"Shit… left? Or was it right? No, no, I came from the left. So going back it should be right. Right? Yeah, right… right?" he muttered under his breath, his head swinging like a broken compass.
The sun was climbing up now, slowly and its light started to spill over the roofs and spread across the street.
Some windows creaked as they opened, one after another, and a few doors did too, like the whole place was just waking up.
People began stepping out, some of them still yawning, some stretching their arms wide.
The magic lamps on the street blinked a few times and then went out completely, their glow fading away with the morning light.
And there he was, sprinting down the stone road like a total madwoman, running so fast it looked like he didn't even care where his feet landed.
One girl was dragging another by the wrist, their skirts flying all over the place, their hair bouncing wildly with every step as they just rushed forward without stopping.
People on the street all turned their heads at once. The old man standing near the bakery froze in the middle of his yawn, his mouth still open like he forgot to close it.
A woman with a broom stopped sweeping halfway, holding it stiff like she didn't know what to do anymore.
Two kids pointed straight at them, laughing out loud, but then their mother smacked them quick for making noise.
Liu Yang's head screamed inside.
"Oh god… they think I'm some weirdo eloping with my girlfriend!"
Suddenly, his eyes lit up the moment the big gate came into sight.
It was right there, just ahead, and the same two guards were still leaning around like before, looking bored out of their minds.
His grip on her wrist tightened as he pulled her along, and the two of them kept running, skirts flapping like crazy, hair flying everywhere like they were a pair of girls rushing late to some festival.
"Yes! Finally! The gate! Outside! Freedom!" he screamed inside his head.
He let go of her hand, throwing both arms high up in the air, ready to scream out in victory.
He didn't even bother looking down at where his feet were going. And that was it—his foot smacked right into a stone hiding on the ground.
"Eh?!"
The next second his whole body flew forward like a ragdoll.
His face went straight into the dirt with a loud thud, and his skirt flipped high up into the air like some flag waving in the wind.
His white panties shining proudly under the morning sun, giving everyone around a free show.
Inside, Liu Yang's brain exploded.
"WHY?! Why the hell now?! Skirt physics betrayed me! Gravity betrayed me! Even the SUN betrayed me! Is this world just one big hentai stage play and I'm the clown lead?!"
He slammed his hands on the ground, face red.
"I swear, this world is out to make me a walking hentai skit!"
Behind him, she covered her face with both hands, peeking through her fingers, her cheeks glowing hot.
And the guards? Their salute this time was shaky, their hands trembling, but their eyes… sharp, straight, and staring where they shouldn't be.
Their jaws hung wide, mouths open like hungry dogs. A thin line of drool slid down one guard's lip, dripping on his shiny chest plate. The other swallowed so hard his throat clanked against the metal collar.
Then the worst hit them. They shifted in their armour, legs twitching. Their eyes looked down for a second, then back up quick, panic flashing across their faces.
One guard coughed, voice cracking. "D-damn… metal armour wasn't made for… this."
The other whispered under his breath, "Too tight… way too bloody tight."
Both pressed their thighs together like schoolboys hiding something, but their eyes refused to look away.
Liu Yang's soul screamed again.
"God help me… I'm turning guards into perverts too! What the hell is this cursed life?!"