"Kirizaki... I'm going in."
Ryosuke turned Kirie completely onto her back, moved between her legs, put on a condom, and positioned himself at her entrance.
Her innocent slit was glistening with wetness, yet the thick, musky scent of her arousal rose from her, further stoking his primal desires.
Still lost in pleasure, Kirie remained oblivious to the impending loss of her virginity.
He could have simply thrust into her while she was in this blissful state—
But Ryosuke wanted her to be fully aware of the moment.
Her legs lay spread carelessly. With his left hand, he pried her labia apart, letting the tip of his penis probe the slick inner folds.
"Ugh... Huh? Ah!"
Finally, Kirie realized her vulnerable position. Her mouth worked soundlessly, as if she wanted to speak, but no words or sound emerged.
But regardless of her will, Kirie's alluring mucous membranes began to stick to the glans with a sticky nuto nuto sound.
"Breathe. I'm going in all at once."
"Huh—? Ah! Aah?!"
Though she was conscious, he gave her no time to hesitate.
Before her body could fully register her tension and fear, he thrust his engorged member into her. Her tightly clenched vaginal walls, already stretched beyond their limit, were forced to accommodate his excessive hardness.
"I—ah! Ugh—!"
Kirie's face, focused on the point of union, contorted in pain.
The vaginal opening, which had been writhing to entice the male moments before, now frantically spasmed, trying to expel the foreign object.
"N-no... N-no, no! Ah, ah—!"
Half-buried glans was squeezed with excruciating tightness. If this was the pressure at the entrance, how much worse would it be once he fully penetrated her?
"Kirizaki, look at me—"
Ryosuke called out to Kirie, who had been focusing solely on the point of contact, and forced her to raise her gaze.
"Ah... Ahh—!"
Her defiant eyes were now filled with pain and bewilderment.
Ryosuke took both of her hands and met her gaze.
"Why... why is this... ugh... ugh—"
His hands were gripped so tightly that her nails dug into his skin.
"I'm going all the way in—"
He thrust forward, driving the part that had been caught at her entrance deep inside her.
"Ahh—!"
He burned that moment into his mind—the instant he carved himself into Kirie's deepest recesses. For her, it was both the first and last moment of this kind.
And it would be etched into her mind as well.
He refused to let the memory of her defloration fade into obscurity.
"Ah... ungh... ungh—!"
It wasn't a metaphor; it felt like my very being was being torn apart. The sensation of someone else invading my innermost self. The shock was so overwhelming that every cell in my body felt like it was boiling.
This wasn't supposed to happen. That's not what I intended. I wasn't prepared for this, let alone expecting it—
...But was I really?
Deep down, even without being prepared, wasn't I secretly hoping for this? Ever since I decided to meet with Ryosuke, no—perhaps even before that. Maybe it started when he stole my first kiss in his room? Or when we began meeting regularly? Or was it on that rainy day when his gaze locked onto me—
Did I, somewhere in my heart, truly wish for this to happen?
The question echoed in my mind, repeated over and over.
Then, like a blade slicing through my endless self-doubt, a searing pain descended upon me.
"Ugh... Shito..."
As the pain became unbearable, she called out his name, pleading, and Ryosuke immediately pounced on her. He embraced Kirie, and she instinctively clung to his back.
So hot... So sweaty... His body is so big...
Despite his slender frame, his body was rugged and muscular. The realization hit her belatedly.
I'm actually... I'm... I'm having sex with a boy.
The foreign object thrusting into her lower abdomen. Ryosuke's body heat. His breathing. The high-pitched moans squeezing from her throat. The ceiling of her room. The summer sunlight seeping through the curtains—
Each sensation carved itself deep into Kirie's mind.
Whether it was pleasant or not, she couldn't judge at that moment.
But—
What if...?
Do I want him to stop? If I scream and struggle here, Ryosuke might release me. But—
"Ah... ..."
I thought sexual intimacy would come much later. I dreamed of slowly building a connection with someone I loved, exchanging words over time, and only then finally becoming one.
But reality proved far less ambiguous.
It hurts. I'm scared.
A boy's body is so hot, so big, so raw.
"Huff... huff..."
If I stop now, I'll relinquish this reality.
It's not just a pragmatic concession that I've gone too far to turn back...
I'm scared. Terrified, but...
If I let him take me like this—if I let him in—I might let him take me to places I've never even imagined. Who else would do something like this for me? Who else would I let do something like this with me?
"Go deeper... Is that okay?"
He whispered in her ear.
I'm scared. I'm scared. But...
Instead of nodding, Kirie tightened her arms around Ryosuke's back.
Taking this as consent, Ryosuke lowered his hips, going deeper than she thought possible, deeper than she could bear.
"Ah, ah, ah—!"
It felt like her body was no longer her own. Something else was taking over. She could never return to the person she was before. This was a definitive act.
The Kirie from yesterday was being shattered.
The girl who had loved someone (someone...), who had dreamed of a future with him, who had been so young—she was being irrevocably destroyed.
What had shattered her was...
The primal satisfaction of driving his cock to its full depth made Ryosuke's hips tremble. The pleasure coursed up his spine, numbing the back of his neck as it burst sweetly in his mind.
Kirie's breathing was rough, yet she seemed calmer now than she had been during the moment of her defloration. Her nails dug into his back so hard they nearly drew blood, but even that felt good to Ryosuke.
He began to move slowly, sliding in and out of her tight passage.
It was a struggle at first, as if his cock were being clamped by her flesh, but with each movement, the discomfort gradually eased.
"Ugh... Nngh! Hah... Hah..."
Even the slightest motion made Kirie react sharply. Her innocence only fueled Ryosuke's depravity.
Let's savor this moment.
Of course, he wouldn't let today be the last time. He intended to take Kirie over and over, countless times. But this particular reaction of hers... this would be the only time.
Her voice was unbearable. The scent of her skin. Her trembling arms and legs. The softness of her against my chest. Her vaginal mucosa clung to my cock as if to say, "How about this?" writhing in confusion.
"Ah, ah, ah—"
A faintly sweet undertone crept into Kirie's voice, which had previously been dominated by anguish. I couldn't exactly call this pleasure, but her adaptability might be greater than I'd anticipated.
"Kirizaki's insides are so hot... I'm going to lose control."
"Y-ah, ah—!"
Kirie reacted sharply to these words, which slipped out unintentionally rather than as an attempt to coax her. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her skin soft and moist, flushed with heat.
"Do you feel it?"
"I feel it—! Ugh, you're moving inside me...!"
"Yes... We're having sex."
"Mmm... Mmm... Y-you're... doing it—aren't you? Ah... Ahh..."
"We'll do it a lot more in the future. You don't even have to stay with me."
"W-Why?! Why are you saying that?!"
Ryosuke raised his head from Kirie's neck, their noses almost touching as he stared into her eyes.
"Ugh... Ugh!"
"If Kirizaki doesn't like me, what else can I do?"
"I... I..."
"I do like you, though—"
He couldn't tell how much of it was sincere.
Was it a lie to toy with her body? Or was it the exhilaration of finally conquering someone who had resisted him for so long? Or was it something else entirely?
Before Kirie could answer, Ryosuke silenced her with a kiss.
"Mmmph?! Mmmk, mmmf!"
My mind turned into a chaotic mess.
Already overwhelmed by confusion, pain, and unfamiliar sensations, leaving me numb—
And then he kissed me so tenderly, I couldn't think straight anymore.
At least—
I love kissing Shito...
The sensation was so sweet it felt like I was melting. My lips, my tongue, even my mind—all of it losing shape, dissolving into a warm, gooey mess.
"Phu... Nmm... Nn... Nn... Nnn..."
His thrusts grew more forceful.
The pain remained, but it was so intense that my lower body felt like it was going numb. Now, the overwhelming sensation of him moving inside me was stronger than anything else.
Shito's... inside me!
The pleasure of the kiss and the pain of sex. They seemed opposite, yet at their core, they felt connected. Someone was invading me, penetrating an area no one had ever breached before—even I hadn't been aware of it until now.
"Ugh... Kirizaki, I can't take much more..."
Ryosuke buried his face in Kirie's neck again, his voice sounding both pained and urgent.
"Ah... Nngh—!"
I thought I understood how this works, she thought. I even felt it with my own hands just a moment ago.
Yet now, there was a fresh wave of astonishment.
Is he... about to come inside me...?
He was wearing a condom.
Even so.
As she realized that, at the culmination of their union, he was about to ejaculate inside her, a complex emotion she'd never experienced before flooded her entire being.
It wasn't something superficial like fear, joy, or pleasure, but something far more primal. The overwhelming realization struck her like a bolt of lightning: the creature holding her now was fundamentally different from her, and she existed solely as its...
Kirie held Ryosuke tightly, his back trembling and writhing against her. He pressed his hips against her, tightening his embrace.
"Kirizaki—"
"Ah, ah, aah—?!"
His penis, fully sheathed inside her, pulsed rhythmically.
Someone else is thrashing around inside my body.
Beyond human emotions like love or affection, Kirie's entire being trembled with instinctive pleasure.
*****
Even after her first experience, Kirie remained in a dazed state.
Afterward, Ryosuke had been considerate, undressing her completely and holding her close on the bed, their bodies entwined.
So this is what you really do after ecchi...
With a somewhat giddy feeling, she savored the sensation of Ryosuke's skin against hers.
But the lingering pain in her lower abdomen reminded her this was real. She was undeniably in her own bed, and the boy beside her was a classmate she now knew well.
I didn't know what to say.
But Ryosuke filled the awkward silence with harmless chatter, making me feel at ease. In fact...
I'm actually thinking... this is nice.
During the act, I'd been intensely aware of him as a stranger, but now, skin to skin, I felt calmer than I would alone. The tension drained from my body, and I felt no shame at all. It was as if this closeness were the most natural thing in the world, enveloping me in a comforting warmth.
"Kirizaki, are you listening?"
"Huh? Uh... no, I wasn't."
"What's wrong with you?"
Ryosuke chuckled softly, his chest rising and falling with each breath. Feeling the movement against my cheek, I experienced another strange sensation.
(I really did it... I had sex with Shito.)
He saw me naked. He touched me. We kissed a lot. We hugged, and he hugged me— I even made weird noises. What must he think of me? When I think back on it, I can't stay calm. My body temperature rises. But I don't want Ryosuke to notice, so I desperately pretend to be calm.
"Kirizaki."
"Huh? Nn—"
His lips suddenly press against mine.
It's as if he's reading my thoughts—though when I think about it, it's always been like this. He sees right through me. It's like I've been in the palm of Ryosuke's hand all along, just rolling around.
"Nn, nn, ah, nn..."
Our lips tangle together, and it feels unbelievably good. I can't stop my expression from softening.
Then, at that moment—
"Hmm... Kirizaki, your phone is ringing."
"Ah... Right."
The smartphone in the pouch on the floor gave a short, muted vibration. Since it wasn't a call, Kirie intended to check it later, but...
"You should probably check it now. It might be an emergency."
"An emergency... like what?"
"Like your parents might be coming home early."
"..."
He said it teasingly, but if that actually happened, it wouldn't be a joke.
If my parents saw me like this... I don't think I could ever live a normal life again.
Panicking, I rolled over and yanked the pouch from the bed without even getting up, frantically checking its contents.
There was one message on the smartphone.
"..."
When I saw the sender's name, I felt like I'd been doused with cold water.
It was from Kazuki.
He's never really sent me a message before. Why now of all times? I suddenly glance toward the window. The curtains are still drawn back. There's no way he could see inside my room from his house.
"Who's it from?"
"W-who it's from doesn't matter, okay?!"
Still facing away from Ryosuke, I shrink into myself, holding my phone close to my face so he can't see the screen.
The message itself was perfectly innocuous: an invitation to come over if I was bored.
(Huh...? Wait, why?)
Today has been nothing but chaos.
The last time I went over to his house was when we were elementary school kids. Since then, we'd only seen each other at school. That was because Kirie had started strongly seeing Kazuki as the opposite sex, and the idea of casually dropping by his house became unthinkable.
The fact that I'm now crawling into bed with my first-time partner is such a laughable situation that I can't even smile about it.
Anyway.
I can't figure out the reason—or rather, the motive—behind this message. I don't understand his intentions.
I learned at the recent barbecue that Kazuki's misunderstanding had been cleared up.
But even so, why?
Is he trying to get closer to Kirie? If this is his way of atoning for hurting her through misunderstanding, does he really think "playing with her" will wash away his sins?
"..."
Even if that's the case...
If I were to meet Kazuki, what expression should I wear? What should I say? No, wait, right now—
"Hmm, should I reply for you?"
"Hey—"
Ryosuke pressed himself against me from behind.
He was probably just joking, his usual banter.
But Kirie, already flustered by the incomprehensible message, overreacted. Her fingers slipped on the smartphone screen.
"Isn't that your phone ringing?"
"Huh?"
At the words, Kirie finally realized the gravity of the situation.
The caller was Kazuki, whose message was still displayed on her screen. She thought about canceling the call, but it was too late. He must have just picked up his phone. After just one ring, Kazuki answered.
"...Kirie?"
Hearing his familiar voice, Kirie felt a wave of despair.
No, I just need to hang up immediately.
It was clearly a mistake. She could just hang up now and apologize later. She hadn't done anything wrong—
But that wasn't possible.
Ryosuke, who had grasped the situation a split second before Kirie, wrapped his arms around her from behind.
He wasn't deliberately interfering with her phone. Even so, the mere sensation of Ryosuke's embrace sent a warm numbness through Kirie's body, rendering her incapable of operating her smartphone.
"Kirie? What's wrong?" Kazuki's voice sounded puzzled.
I have to respond—my mind urges me on.
"K-Kazuki? I-I saw your message..."
I manage to get the words out, but my voice is clearly trembling.
"Yeah. What do you want to do?"
"What do you mean, 'what do you want to do'?"
"It's fine if you come over. Kaho's here, too."
What's so fine about that? His younger sister is home...
My confusion spirals further.
Please, Shito, don't speak, I plead silently.
If Ryosuke were to speak at this intimate distance, how would Kazuki interpret it?
My heart races, pounding wildly.
But this isn't the thrill of forbidden excitement I felt when Ryosuke first embraced me—it's a sickening, unsettling rhythm.
Fortunately, Ryosuke remains silent.
Instead...
"Ugh—?!"
His right arm suddenly coiled around her lower body. With a smooth, serpentine grace, cunning and precise, Ryosuke's palm settled on Kirie's lower abdomen.
She wanted to shout, but she forced the urge down.
This isn't the time...!
"Um, I don't really care either way... So, what do you want to do?" Kazuki's voice, coming through the phone, suddenly sounded hesitant and uncertain, as if he'd lost his confidence.
"Kirie?"
What if...?
What if Kazuki had called earlier today and she'd accepted his invitation? What would have happened?
The thought suddenly struck her.
She imagined herself in Kazuki's house for the first time in ages, chatting with him and Kaho in that living room...
Perhaps we can't be lovers just yet. Kazuki is completely infatuated with Aika. But even if we're nothing more than childhood friends now, if Kazuki ever comes to think of Kirie...
The future I'd daydreamed about suddenly feels within reach.
After ten years of longing, we might have grown together, slowly nurturing our love in peaceful harmony... We might have grown up and exchanged vows as man and woman.
But.
"Mmm... hmm, what... should I do...?"
My abdomen burns, a hot, sticky heat.
All Ryosuke is doing is touching me. He's not stimulating any erogenous zones; he's simply applying gentle pressure to my belly.
A lingering ache still lingers in my lower abdomen.
Yet, as Ryosuke's hand strokes me, a wave of exquisite sensation spreads through me, overwhelming the pain and leaving a surplus of pleasure in its wake.
It wouldn't have been like this with Kazuki...
Kirie was certain of that. She might have been happy. Her childish affection might have been fulfilled.
But—
"...I'm sorry, I can't do it today."
"Huh? Really? Are you busy?"
"No, not exactly, but—ah!"
"...? Hey, Kirie, are you okay?"
"It's nothing. Mmm..."
Beneath the quilt, her hips began to twitch involuntarily.
It felt so good.
The most bestial part of her, deep within her core, was trembling with pleasure.
She wondered if her gasps sounded suspicious.
He might be onto something...
Still, it was fine.
Even before that—
"Sorry, gotta hang up. Bye..."
"Huh—?"
Kirie put down her smartphone, leaving Kazuki, who still seemed to have more to say.
"Are you sure it's fine? Didn't you want to see him?"
Ryosuke's whisper flowed into her right ear, which had been pressed against the smartphone just moments before. The mere sound of his voice sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.
She finally knew exactly what she wanted.
Even if it hurt, even if it was painful, even if it scared her—
She wanted it. Her entire being—body and soul—craved it desperately. When she acknowledged and accepted that, something seemed to snap inside her head.
"U-um... It was sudden, you know. Nngh, ah..."
"Are you alright?"
Kazuki had said the same words, but the way they sounded now was completely different.
"I'm not... alright. I-I know that... damn it!"
"What do you mean?"
His calm, unruffled tone was infuriating.
His attitude, as if he could see through everything, was utterly irritating.
But...
I want him to scold me more. Tease me. Take me to the limit. And after that... I want him to spoil me endlessly.
Kirie rolled over toward Ryosuke, entwining her right leg around his left, rubbing against him, and pleading.
"Shito... Again..."