"You, you..."
Raon gaped at Merlin with wide eyes.
"Why are you here?"
Judging by the rocking of the cabin, the Azure Wind was currently in the middle of the sea. They hadn't arrived at Zieghart yet, so Raon hadn't expected to see Merlin here.
"I completed the task you gave me perfectly and returned."
Merlin smiled, saying she had delivered the Soul Crystal to Glenn.
"Your mother was really pleased. She was especially proud of you."
She pretended to clap, saying her ears nearly hurt from all the praise.
"I see."
Raon thanked Merlin and sat down on the bed.
'I wonder what Grandfather will say.'
Getting praised by Glenn after completing missions had become routine, but this time Raon couldn't imagine what he would say.
'He might resent me.'
Thinking he might be blamed for failing to protect Rimmer and Alice, Raon felt nauseous.
-Ugh...
Wrath's whimper came from the ice flower bracelet. He seemed to have fled inside because of Merlin.
"I heard what happened."
Merlin let out a short sigh and covered her face with her mask. Her skin was so fair, as if it had never seen sunlight, that the cabin seemed to darken momentarily when she covered her face.
"I was actually just going to borrow the body of a nearby animal to follow the ship, but when I heard what happened to Rimmer, I summoned my main body right away."
Merlin stepped forward and wiped away the tears forming in Raon's eyes.
"Do you want to bring him back?"
She shook her head slightly, asking if he wanted to revive Rimmer.
"Can you...?"
Raon stared at Merlin with wide eyes.
"If his soul remains, I could make him into a mask or helmet. But..."
Merlin shook her head with a melancholy look.
"That's not what you want. Neither you nor him."
"You're right..."
Raon clenched his fists so tightly that his palms bled. He did want to see Rimmer again. If he could just see that relaxed smile and lazy attitude once more, he would do anything.
But as Merlin said, Rimmer himself wouldn't want to be revived using the power of masks and helmets in someone else's body.
Especially after what happened with Sia and Edgar, Raon could never allow such a thing.
"Right?"
Merlin nodded slightly, as if she had expected this response.
"Then all you can do now is endure and cry. I didn't have anyone to cry with me, but you have many. Crying isn't a bad thing. It means you're honest with your emotions."
She gave a wistful smile, like a senior in life. As if she had gone through the same experience.
'No, she must have.'
Remembering how Rokta called Merlin a princess, it was clear she had also experienced the death of close ones.
"Neither I nor Rokta had a good death. That's why I wanted to call Rokta and bring back others…"
Merlin shook her head with a hollow look in her eyes.
"Now I regret it all. Though I'm glad I met you because of it."
She wiggled her finger, saying she could tell him about her circumstances if he was curious.
"Um..."
Though curious, Merlin's expression suggested it wasn't an easy story to hear. With his own emotions in turmoil over Rimmer's death, Raon didn't feel he could focus on her story right now.
"I'll listen later. For sure."
"Alright. Then at least tell me your story. It will surely make you feel better."
Merlin sat down on the cabin floor as she said this.
-Hmm...
Wrath poked his head out of the bracelet, looking cautious.
-I dislike that madwoman, but her words are true. Unburdening yourself will ease your mind somewhat.
Wrath waved his arms up and down, saying Raon could confide in him instead of Merlin.
-W-we may not quite be friends, but as your vessel, I shall listen a bit!
"Come on."
-Come on!
Merlin and Wrath both spread their arms, urging Raon to unburden himself to them.
"Ugh..."
Raon shook his head with a wry chuckle.
"I'll tell you when my thoughts are sorted out. Right now, I don't even know what to say."
Looking at those two made him laugh, even though he didn't want to. It seemed they had both become comfortable people to him now.
"Alright. Tell me when you're ready."
Merlin raised her fist, saying she would wait for this too.
-This king is always prepared!
Wrath also shouted that Raon could speak day or night, glaring at Merlin. He seemed to feel competitive despite being afraid.
"Has Alice - I mean, Aunt woken up?"
"Aunt? I don't know?"
Merlin shook her head, saying she had no idea.
"Huh? Didn't you hear from the others?"
"I eavesdropped secretly. But since I was in animal form, I summoned my main body straight here."
She grinned, saying no one else knew she was here.
-See, see! This is why she's a madwoman! It's become her habit to sneak around when she could just talk openly now!
Wrath trembled, saying this was why he couldn't help but fear her.
'Hmm...'
Raon couldn't argue with that. But hearing Merlin's words reminded him of a certain person. No, a certain demon king.
"Where's Lust?"
Raon narrowed his eyes, looking around. Though he wasn't in his right mind, he couldn't sense Lust's presence anywhere.
"That damn directionally-challenged woman..."
Merlin gritted her teeth angrily. Calling her directionally-challenged, Raon could guess the answer.
"After giving the Soul Crystal to your grandfather, she said she knew the way back to you now and would go ahead, then disappeared!"
"You didn't stop her?"
"I tried! But she said she had memorized the route and flew off on her own!"
She let out a hollow laugh, saying Lust was overconfident despite her poor sense of direction.
-Didn't I tell you!
Wrath nodded.
-That one's a stalker with no sense of direction, yet thinks she's so clever!
He shook his head, saying Lust had strange overlapping traits.
-She's never any help!
"She's just a nuisance!"
Merlin and Wrath cursed Lust in unison, as if they were on the same wavelength.
"Well, with Lust's skills, she won't get into trouble anywhere."
Since no one knew of Lust's existence, there didn't seem to be much need for concern.
"Hah..."
Raon slowly got up. As he was about to leave the cabin, he grabbed the Blade of Requiem lying on the table. He couldn't leave it behind, in case Rimmer's soul still lingered in the sword.
"Are you going out?"
"I want to check on Aunt's condition."
Alice would likely be barely alive. Usually she appeared even more steadfast than Glenn, but she became weaker than anyone in front of Sif. That made Raon more worried. As Raon was about to leave the cabin, gripping the Blade of Requiem tightly:
[You have slain two Transcendent Warriors.]
[You have killed an Angel for the first time in a thousand years.]
[You have achieved an impossible feat.]
[All abilities...]
[New trait...]
[New title...]
This time, too, he didn't read the message fully and pushed it away.
-Gah! This damn system... Huh?
Wrath started cursing the system but stopped and looked at Raon, licking his lips.
-You're not going to look?
'I don't want to see it right now.'
-I see...
He placed a hand on Raon's shoulder as if he understood.
'I'll look when I can tease you about it.'
-Hey!
Ignoring Wrath's shout, Raon left the cabin. Since it was night, only a few crew members were on deck. As he was about to enter the infirmary where Alice would be, Dorian approached from the end of the deck.
"Are you awake?"
Dorian bowed his head, asking if Raon was alright.
"Has Aunt woken up?"
Raon immediately asked about Alice's condition.
"I just checked the infirmary, but she hasn't woken up yet."
Dorian shook his head, saying Lawaine was watching over Alice's room.
"I see..."
Raon nodded. To be honest, it might be better if Alice didn't wake up yet. He still didn't know what to say or how to face her when she regained consciousness.
"What about the others?"
"Given the situation, everyone was exhausted and fell asleep."
Dorian smiled awkwardly, saying the Azure Wind's crew was standing guard instead.
"What about you?"
Raon narrowed his eyes at Dorian. In truth, this guy should be the most tired, but he seemed to be holding it in, which was concerning.
"I'm fine. I can't sleep even if I lie down."
Dorian scratched his head, saying that's why he was standing guard.
"You're still dwelling on it, I see."
Raon leaned his arms on the railing, gazing at the gently rippling night sea.
"No, I can't help but dwell on it. I keep thinking about Master too."
If he didn't look away, the image of Rimmer smiling even with his chest pierced by the Cursed Blacksword kept appearing. It was maddening. If this was how Raon felt, Dorian, who had witnessed everything from the start, would never be able to forget.
"Yes..."
Dorian nodded.
"That scene keeps appearing in my dreams too. I wondered what would have happened if I had sacrificed my life instead..."
"It's meaningless."
Raon shook his head firmly.
"Even a Grandmaster couldn't intervene in that fight. You did your best."
"No! I don't deserve such words..."
Dorian buried his head in the railing and began to shed tears. The crybaby had been holding back, blaming only himself, and now he finally burst the dam of his emotions.
"Hic..."
"It's okay. He didn't blame anyone."
Raon patted Dorian's head, recalling Rimmer's smiling face until the very end. Just as his master had done for him. A cool, clear breeze unlike the sea air briefly lingered at the bow of the Azure Wind before departing, as if to comfort the two.
* * *
When the Azure Wind arrived at the northernmost port closest to Zieghart:
"We'll accompany you as well."
Lawaine bowed his head after loading the still unconscious Alice and Rimmer into two separate carriages.
"It seems we won't be able to continue pirating anymore."
He asked for Raon's permission, saying most of the Azure Wind's crew were originally swordsmen from Zieghart, and the remaining members had participated in wars, so there shouldn't be any issues with them returning together.
"Alright."
Raon nodded and set off towards Zieghart on horseback. Unlike when they returned to the Azure Wind from the dungeon, there was no cheerful chatter or laughter. Neither the Light Wind division, nor Lawaine and the Azure Wind's crew spoke a word as they walked towards Zieghart, preparing for farewell in their hearts.
At the end of the not-so-long journey, the snow-covered walls of Zieghart came into view.
"..."
Raon bit his lip as he gazed at Zieghart's walls. The gray walls that had always been welcoming now felt overwhelmingly tall and heavy. It felt as if those walls were crushing his soul. News of Rimmer's death would have already spread, but not knowing how those inside would react made his hands tremble with fear.
Looking back, he saw the other swordsmen also staring at the walls with eyes full of fear and worry. Though he was the most worried and scared, they couldn't just stay here staring at the walls. He wanted to let Rimmer rest as soon as possible.
"Let's go."
Raon let out a small sigh and headed towards Zieghart's main gate. Normally they would check identities before opening the gate, but today the gates of Zieghart opened as soon as they saw his face, and External Commander Illiune walked out with the swordsmen.
The swordsmen, dressed in black uniforms, performed Zieghart's sword salute by holding their swords upside down in front of their chests.
"..."
Raon clenched his jaw and drove the carriage towards the main road leading to the main building. On the left and right sides of the main road, Zieghart's swordsmen stood in lines, offering a solemn yet heavy sword salute. It was the swordsmen's unique greeting for those who died fighting for Zieghart.
"Hic..."
"Vice Leader..."
"Why did it have to be...!"
He could hear the Light Wind division swordsmen sobbing behind him, but he was the Division Leader. Suppressing his emotions, he walked towards the main building. The swordsmen of the Warring Steel Division, Void Sword division, and Vanguard Sword Squad, as well as those from the Central Martial Palace, Wise Martial Palace, and True Martial Palace, all came out to offer sword salutes for Rimmer.
Seeing even those who usually growled and fought with each other showing respect without a single wrinkle, his heart ached even more.
As the two carriages carrying Rimmer and Alice stopped in front of the main building, he saw Sylvia, Edgar, Gambling Monster, and Federick. Even Glenn and Roenn, who always waited inside the audience chamber, were waiting in front of the Lord's Manor. Sadness and gloom were evident on everyone's faces.
Seeing his father, mother, and grandfather, his chest burned with pain, and his nose tingled as if tears would fall at any moment.
Raon dismounted from his horse with trembling legs. He was afraid. He didn't want to go. He was afraid not of being resented for causing Rimmer's death, but of truly realizing Rimmer's death by standing before them. Raon took a deep breath and moved his heavy legs.
"Head of House."
To endure until the end. To withstand even if he was resented. He stood before Glenn with his whole body tensed.
"I'm sorry. It's all because I made the wrong judgment..."
As Raon was about to kneel before Glenn and bow his head, Glenn grabbed him and pulled him into an embrace.
"You've been through a lot. And..."
Glenn tightened his arms around Raon and spoke in a voice that sounded like he was grinding his teeth.
"I'm sorry."
Raon gripped Glenn's robe with both hands and let fall the tears he had been holding back.