My parents stared into each other's eyes, and from the outside it seemed as if an internal struggle was taking place within each of them. The grudges that had been festering inside stirred again, pricking Kostya's and Maria's nerves, poisoning their minds. The iceberg of past mistakes slightly emerged above the surface, but the truth reached deep for many miles, sinking into dark waters where no light could reach, hiding what had been done from prying eyes. I had never truly understood why my parents had separated, and now, seeing this scene, I suspected I never would: the truth was far too complex to fit into a single short sentence. Into a single event that had shattered years of love.
Assessing the situation, Maksim hesitantly lowered his hand, ready to cast a spell again at any moment to prevent the family gathering from turning into a bloodbath, and it was pleasant to realize—the Smirnov children wanted peace no less than I did. Unfortunately for all, peace balanced on fragile equilibrium. It had already begun to sway, and little time remained to set the record straight, yet for some reason those who could finally shed light on the matter were only making things worse.
"I supported the doctor's work because I knew it was the only way out."
"The only way out? To risk our daughter's life and doom her to the fate of these bloodsuckers?" Kostya quickly glanced at the Smirnov children. "No offense, guys. You're great, but I wouldn't want that kind of life for Asya."
"And no one wants to ask what I want?"
It irritated me how easily my parents slipped into another quarrel, making plans and deciding between themselves on a future that didn't belong to them. I felt once again as if I had been locked up in our apartment under Kostya's strict punishment, and my body involuntarily wanted to shrink. To disappear from this room. To dissolve into the wind, scattering into thousands of particles. To feel freedom in every movement and know that no one could stop nature.
"And what do you want, darling?"
My father wearily ran a hand through his hair, fully aware of where the conversation was heading again, and I had no desire to sugarcoat the pill.
"To be normal. An ordinary person. To finish the eleventh grade, have fun at graduation, and go to college, instead of wondering with each approaching moon whether I'll transform when my emotions run too high."
"Asya, you haven't transformed even once yet. In reality, it's not so scary if you get used to it. You've seen what fate awaits those who reject the spirit."
"Are you serious right now? I ended up in the mansion today because I beat up Artur!"
"Well, not exactly beat up," my victim protested, defending his manliness.
"That's because you're a vampire. If it had been a human in your place, the outcome would have been much worse. What if I had attacked Dasha? Or Tanya?" Upon saying her name, I involuntarily let my gaze linger on Stanislav, studying his reaction. Yet nothing changed. I saw neither a shadow of concern nor any emotion at all on Stas's cold face, as if we were talking about some other girl entirely. What kind of relationship did they even have?
"And who knows how it would have ended for Diana if she hadn't made it in time. For you, jumping from one state to another might be easy, but I can feel myself losing who I am with each attempt to transform. I'm dangerous, and I've already proven it."
"You just need a little time," my father tried to sound as convincing as possible, but I remained adamant.
"How long does it take a werewolf to kill a human? Five minutes? Ten? One? I'll never learn to stop myself fast enough."
"That's exactly why it's so important for Vladimir to keep injecting the venom," Maria insisted. "Only thanks to it can the spirit inside you lose."
"And tell me, when it loses, who will take the stage instead?" Kostya wouldn't let up, as if suspecting some gap in a secret pact between my mother and the doctor, one they both clearly knew about but once again weren't rushing to explain to me. "Do you really want her to become one of them?"
"She won't. She physically can't," Vladimir spoke up, having by this point quietly returned to the table without my noticing and, as if nothing had happened, refilled his glass. "The venom entered her blood once before, back in the forest. The process had already begun, and the results I observed in the hospital proved that the werewolf curse, fighting against the venom, weakens with each administered dose."
Maksim listened to Vladimir intently, and the longer he described the wonderful prospects of the dubious treatment, the deeper his brow furrowed. That look told me Kaandor didn't appear the way a guardian spirit should. Everything I knew didn't match Denis's account either. The consequences of the path my mother had chosen were obvious, but she refused to acknowledge them. Could she really not see Kaandor the way Maksim did? Which of the two of them was stronger, then?
"Why didn't you tell me, then?"
Vladimir shrugged.
"And how would you have reacted if you'd found out what I was injecting you with? After your mother Nika's one-sided story, you, Asya, didn't think much of me and openly expressed your distrust."
Even now, hearing that the doctor had actually been trying to help me at Maria's request, I couldn't bring myself to feel any warmth toward him. My gut screamed warnings, telling me not to let my guard down—because the moment I trusted, even for a second, and got caught in the nets set for me, the way back might turn out long and thorny. And I had no strength left for that. If there was anything human left inside me, it was expressed in sheer exhaustion.
This day had worn me out—conversations and tons of information kept pouring down on me like an avalanche, burying my sense of reality and any shred of logical understanding of what was happening. Everything I knew contradicted itself, making my chest tighten in fearful uncertainty over where the truth lay and where someone's convenient lie was hiding. It felt as though if this went on much longer, I would suffocate entirely.
"Asya, you can trust him. Vladimir has always been on your side. He never intended to harm anyone," my mother said, gently stroking my back in encouragement.
The unexpected duet of Maria and Vladimir, acting as co-conspirators who had joined forces to deal with one—my—problem, was almost disarming. On the other hand, I had seen with my own eyes what the elder Smirnov was capable of. Without visible effort, he manipulated my father, and I was certain that today was far from the first time Kostya's thoughts had been muddled and replaced with a convenient, foreign version. How could I know whether Maria herself wasn't also under the doctor's influence? Or maybe, if I truly trusted him, I could get exactly what I wanted most—a life of an ordinary high school senior?
I would never know the answer to that question, because just as I was lost in thought, Viola burst into the room, her eyes screaming that something terrible had happened. Something that changed everything.