"Do you even know whether to cut across or layer by layer? Fat has seven layers. You've got to cut one by one. And there's also cosmetic suturing. Do you even know how to stitch properly?" Jing Shu scoffed.
"You'll always have to learn at some point. Who knows, maybe I'll become the midwife of this area in the future. If it doesn't come out smoothly, I'll just cut the belly open and pull the kid out. The thought of it is exciting. I really regret not majoring in medicine and keeping corpses in formalin for company. Instead, I studied useless agriculture, and now I'm stuck with a biology professor. Ah, it's all fate."
"How about this, you handle the cutting, I'll handle the stitching. Look at this stitch method, when I pull at the end, you can't even see the thread. It's all hidden neatly under the skin."
Jing Shu's eyes lit up. Next year and the year after, besides mangled corpses from earthquakes, there would also be plenty crushed under rubble. That would make her stitching skills invaluable. "Darling, I recommend using cosmetic sutures. Once it's stitched, there won't even be a scar."
"Alright, let's do it that way."
The two walked along, happily discussing how to dissect and stitch, itching to practice on Zhang Bingbing. After all, Jing Shu had her Spirit Spring and anesthetics. No one would die.
"If she can't deliver smoothly, we'll just cut her open," Jing Shu said.
Whether it was that one sentence hitting too hard, or Zhang Bingbing's deranged mind picking it up, or even the child inside sensing the malice dripping from Jing Shu and Wu You'ai, something happened.
By the time they arrived at Zhang Bingbing's place, they hadn't even asked about the situation, and Wu You'ai hadn't yet managed to say her guiding words, "Deep breath, in and out."
Instead, Jing Shu saw a tiny head emerging between Zhang Bingbing's spread legs, as if declaring, "No need for you, I'll come out on my own!"
"Push, push!" Wu You'ai rushed forward to give last-minute guidance, just so she could claim she'd helped deliver the child.
Then came a plop. Zhang Bingbing's husband pulled the baby out by the head, body and all.
"Waa, waa!" The baby cried loudly, without anyone needing to slap his soles.
Jing Shu: "???"
Wu You'ai: "???"
"That's it? It's born? Just like that?"
"Looks like it?"
"It's a boy!"
"I don't even know if he's mine or yours." The old man looked pensive. If the baby was his, then this was his son's younger brother. If it was his son's, then it was his grandson.
"Dad, let's just treat him as our son."
The twisted dialogue made Wu You'ai resolve to send the pair for labor reform once the baby turned a month old. With no child binding them, what excuse would they have then?
Jing Shu raised the scissors. She hadn't come to deliver the baby, just to pass scissors and cut the umbilical cord.
No matter what, from now on she could proudly tell people, "I once delivered a baby and cut an umbilical cord."
By her count, it hadn't even taken twenty minutes from start to finish. It made her wonder if all those horror stories online about childbirth were just jokes.
But then again, some women looked like they were dying giving birth, while others had kids on motorcycles, and still others popped them out into toilets. In the end, it was all luck.
"So ugly."
"All newborns are ugly."
"Fine."
As the first child born in Banana Community, naming was a serious matter. Both of Zhang Bingbing's husbands acknowledged Wu You'ai's authority. "You're the administrator of our community. You should name the baby."
Wu You'ai turned to Jing Shu. "Why don't you name him? I'll enter it into the database."
Jing Shu thought for a moment. "His surname should be Zhang. Let's call him Zhang Dada. I hope he can grow up safely in this apocalypse."
"Zhang is good. Taking his mother's surname. Zhang Dada is easy to remember."
"Then Zhang Dada it is."
Wu You'ai rolled her eyes. She'd expected Jing Shu to come up with something meaningful. "Fine, Zhang Dada it is."
Wu You'ai quickly gathered baby supplies from the group chat. "Young Madam, I Have a Baby" donated things her child no longer needed, solving Zhang Bingbing's immediate trouble. By the time Jing Shu finished everything, it was already six in the morning.
She wanted to catch up on sleep, but found Zhou Bapi waiting in his Alpha at the door, flashing his yellowed teeth in a grin. "Let's head out early. It's a long road."
Jing Shu's teeth clenched. Fine, then tonight she'd definitely sleep well.
She thought Zhou Bapi's "long road" was just polite talk. But no, it really was long.
The mountains around Wu City stretched endlessly. They crossed one after another before finally arriving. Luckily the terrain was high, otherwise the car couldn't have made it. By her estimation, they had driven about twenty kilometers.
Since the floodwaters rose past the knees and it was dark, driving was slow. It took over an hour.
"This area used to grow snow lotuses. That whole patch was ours. We cultivated a batch two months before the apocalypse, but later had to move into greenhouses. With the weather now, nothing grows outside."
"This is Wu City's twenty-year-old pharmaceutical factory. It's fully equipped. Over there's the refining section, and there's even a processing plant for traditional Chinese medicine."
"Look, that's a warehouse. All the herbs shipped to and from other provinces used to pass through here. But the government secretly transferred them out long ago."
"This place has turned into a self-sufficient town now."
"Before the apocalypse, there were more than ten thousand people here. When production stopped, most left. Last year, after the water shortage, everyone scattered. Only a few of us remained. We can't grow much, but we still have to plant. Food can be substituted, but without medicine, people die."
Jing Shu deeply agreed. The few medicinal herbs that could be grown were only enough for a few people. And in the apocalypse, those with power and resources claimed them. That was the cruelty of the times.
Zhou Bapi parked in front of a newly built, tall building. It was only three stories, but each floor had a five-meter ceiling, making it imposing.
Proudly, he said, "This was built before the apocalypse for the provincial Medicinal Herb Association. It's filled with high-tech equipment, even systems that simulate weather. But it consumes a lot of energy. That's why each province only had one. Nationwide, there are just twenty-six."
Jing Shu nodded. It did feel impressive.
"Alright, place your hand here to get in," Zhou Bapi said, pointing to the fingerprint scanner at the entrance.
"Beep beep. Identity data for Jing Shu… recording successful. Connecting to big data… Please input iris scan."
Jing Shu felt something was off, but she still scanned her iris.
"Beep—Employment successful."
Zhou Bapi grinned. "Congratulations. From now on, you're officially part of Wu City's Medicinal Herb Association!"
Jing Shu: "???"
===
Zhang Dada (张大大), with Dada (大大) that literally means "big big."