The first screams came at dawn.
Connor Stoll shot upright in his bunk, thrashing, only to realize he couldn't move. His arms were glued to his sides, his legs were wrapped tight together like a burrito. He rolled straight off the bed and hit the floor with a heavy thunk, wriggling like a caterpillar in a sleeping bag.
"Travis!" he yelled. "Help me!"
His brother's muffled voice came from the bunk above. "I can't see! I can't see! AHHH!" Travis tumbled out, face painted bright pink with glitter glued around his eyes like a butterfly mask. His hands flailed uselessly, tied together at the wrists with a suspiciously shiny green rope.
The Hermes cabin erupted in laughter as the brothers squirmed on the floor, one looking like a worm in a cocoon, the other like a deranged Mardi Gras parade float.
Connor twisted his head toward the snickering campers. "WHO DID THIS?!"
A hand shot up immediately from across the room. Naruto sat cross-legged on his bunk, grinning like a fox caught raiding the henhouse. His face was all innocence, but the sparkle in his blue eyes gave him away.
"Morning, sunshine," he said cheerfully. "Sleep well?"
Travis spat out glitter. "You.. how!?"
Naruto tilted his head, smug. "Ancient art of pranking. Took me years to master. You guys should be honored, really."
Connor growled, still wriggling like a bound sausage. "You glued me to my own sheets!"
"Correction," Naruto said, wagging a finger. "I glued you inside your own sheets. Big difference."
The cabin roared with laughter. Even Luke, pale and sore from the night before, cracked a reluctant smile from his corner.
Travis struggled against the green rope, finally realizing what it was. "Are these vines?!"
Naruto leaned back, lacing his fingers behind his head. "Oh yeah. Grew them special just for you. It's an eco-friendly prank. You're welcome."
The Stolls sputtered, the Hermes kids howled, and Naruto basked in the chaos like a king on his throne.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced, raising a hand, "the Prank Lord of Konoha has officially entered the building."
The cabin cheered like he'd just won Capture the Flag single-handed.
"He really might be a child of Hermes!" one boy said.
Connor finally rolled free of his sheet burrito and staggered upright. "That's it," he snarled. "I'm gonna kill him!"
He yanked his foot forward
SPLOOSH!
A hidden bucket of cold lake water tipped from the rafters, drenching both Stolls head to toe. Glitter streamed down their faces in wet clumps.
The cabin howled with laughter again.
Naruto slapped his knee, howling right along with them. "Oh man you should've seen your faces!"
Travis sputtered, wiping soggy glitter out of his eyes. "It's not over?!"
He stomped toward Naruto's bunk.
KAPOOF!
The floorboard gave way to a hidden pouch Naruto had wedged there, and a puff of bright pink dye exploded straight into Travis' chest, staining him from neck to beltline.
The Hermes kids screamed with laughter, half falling off their bunks.
Naruto grinned, eyes sparkling with victory. "It's called a chain reaction, baby. You didn't think I'd stop after one prank, did you?"
Connor and Travis just stood there, dripping, dyed, and glittering like cursed parade floats, glaring murder.
The room was too busy laughing to hear them plotting revenge.
The Hermes cabin spilled into the morning light still buzzing from the prank. Some were laughing, others swapping guesses on how Naruto had pulled it off, and the Stolls… well, the Stolls marched with murder in their eyes, dripping faint trails of glitter with every step.
The pavilion was already alive with sound. Plates clattered as laughter rolled across the tables, satyrs darted between benches carrying trays. Overhead, the sky gleamed brighter than it had any right to, as if Apollo himself approved of the chaos.
Naruto plopped at the Hermes table like he owned it. "Man, I love this place. Free food, free housing, free victims.. Uh, I mean friends."
Connor dropped onto the bench across from him, glaring daggers. Glitter sparkled on his eyelashes. Travis sat beside him, shirt still pink-stained, his smile sharp and dangerous. Neither said a word.
Naruto just grinned wider, loading his plate high. "What? You guys look amazing. Like festival mascots. Someone should paint you on a camp banner."
The Hermes kids howled. Even a few Apollo campers at the next table leaned over, snickering.
Luke sank onto the bench beside Naruto with a sigh. He was pale, moving stiffly, still carrying the weight of the night before in his bones. But when Naruto shoved a plate toward him, Luke took it with a silent thanks in his eyes.
Annabeth appeared a moment later, gray eyes sharp, hair pulled back neat. She stopped in front of Naruto and crossed her arms. "So it was you."
Naruto gave her his biggest innocent smile. "What? Me? Nooo. I would never prank anyone. Especially not two brothers who totally had it coming."
Annabeth arched an eyebrow, unimpressed.
Thalia dropped onto the Zeus table nearby, smirking as she heard the tail end. "Figures. Only you would try to start a prank war your second day here, Treehugger."
Naruto raised a finger in mock correction. "Prank victory, Sparky. War implies they could win."
Thalia snorted, stabbing at her food. "Keep talking. You'll find out just how much voltage I've got to spare."
The pavilion echoed with chatter, laughter, and the clink of plates. For a brief moment, it almost felt like peace or at least the kind of peace where a camp of demigods could breathe in between the storms of their chaotic lives.
Naruto leaned back on the bench, satisfied. "This is a breakfast of champions. Truly nothing can ruin this day."
Connor and Travis traded a glance across the table, identical wicked smiles tugging at their mouths.
Nothing at all. Except two vengeance-fueled sons of Hermes.
By midday the entire camp had shifted. The forges hammered louder. The armory bustled with campers swapping gear, sharpening blades, and polishing shields. The sound of bowstrings and clashing swords rang through the training fields.
At the creek, naiads surfaced to watch Ares kids dunk each other in the shallows, sharpening their bloodlust. Apollo's archers lined up at the range, arrows thudding in steady rhythm.
The Athena cabin huddled over maps of the forest, voices clipped and precise as they calculated every tree and choke point angle.
Naruto? He sat cross-legged in the grass, carving rude smiley faces into the handles of spears with a dopey grin on his face. When a Hermes camper asked what he was doing, he just winked.
"Gotta make the weapons friendly before they stab someone."
Thalia passed by with her shield slung across her back, sparks almost snapping off her hair. She stopped long enough to look down at him. "Hope you're ready to lose, Treehugger."
Naruto didn't even look up from his carving. "Hope you brought a backup shield, Sparky. You're gonna need it."
Luke tightened the straps on his borrowed armor nearby, forcing himself to breathe steady. His pulse raced, his body still bruised, but every clang of a sword and every bark of a laugh wound him tighter. This wasn't a dream anymore. He was in it now.
By dusk, lanterns lined the paths, casting firelit shadows that stretched like ghosts toward the forest edge. Two banners hung from tall pikes in the clearing: one blue, one red.
The camp gathered, the energy crackling in the air like a storm about to break.
Naruto cracked his knuckles, grinning like he'd been waiting his whole life for this. "Alright. Time to kick some ass and take some names"
Cecil Markowitz lounged against a post, apple in hand as usual, grinning like he'd already won the match before it started.
Bea Wise had a map of the forest spread across a bench, charcoal smudges smeared across her fingers and nose from how long she'd been sketching. She muttered under her breath, flipping the map sideways, then upside down, before furiously jotting another series of arrows.
Lee Fletcher leaned lazily on his bow, humming a jaunty tune and plucking the bowstring like a harp. He looked more like he was waiting for a concert than a battle.
Luke stood a little apart from them, tense and restless. He adjusted the fit of his cuirass for the tenth time, pulled the straps on his shield, checked his sword at his side. His blood ran hot with the urge to fight, but his stomach still twisted with nerves. He was new and raw, and he knew it but part of him wanted nothing more than to prove himself as the new kid.
Naruto, meanwhile, leaned over Bea's shoulder with all the subtlety of a golden retriever. He chewed on a bread roll he'd clearly smuggled from dinner, crumbs sprinkling over her map.
"Okay, so where do I go to punch people?"
Bea pinched the bridge of her nose so hard it looked painful. "It's not about punching people. It's about control of the forest. Positioning. Traps. Lines of defense and strategy."
Naruto rubbed his chin like a sage. "Hmm. Punching people is technically controlling their position, and byproduct I'm forcing them to change their strategy. By the looks of it I'm already a tactical genius."
Cecil barked a laugh, nearly choking on his apple. "I like this kid."
"Of course you do," Bea muttered, scribbling another jagged arrow across the map. She pushed her curls out of her face, adjusting her glasses. "Luke, you're on the strike team. Two Hermes, one Athena, plus you. You guys will go for their flag."
Luke straightened at once, his hand tightening on his shield strap. "Got it."
"Lee and his team will cover with arrows from the ridge," Bea continued.
"Always," Lee said with a wink, spinning his bow casually in one hand.
Bea's eyes flicked back to Naruto, who at that exact moment was trying to balance the bread roll on his nose. Her voice dropped flat. "…And Naruto. You're our distraction."
Naruto perked up like she'd just handed him a crown. "My specialty!"
Cecil smirked around a mouthful of apple. "Gods help the red team."
Bea groaned. "Gods help us."
The entire camp assembled at the edge of the forest, buzzing with anticipation. Lanterns flickered along the paths, throwing long shadows across the ground. The banners swayed on their pikes one blue, one red and caught the glow of firelight as the last streaks of daylight bled away.
Campers shifted restlessly, shields gleaming, swords twitching in their hands. The woods loomed dark and hungry, the perfect battlefield.
Chiron stood tall at the edge of the clearing, bow slung across his back, eyes sharp and steady. But the campers' attention shifted when the squat figure of Mr. D waddled forward, a can of Diet Coke in one hand, a look of infinite boredom plastered across his face. He sipped loudly before speaking.
"Alright, brats," Mr. D said flatly, waving his free hand like he was shooing away flies. "Capture the Flag. Same game you've played a hundred times on your Xbox or whatever you waste your lives on. Except this time, you know, you might actually lose a limb. Fun."
He smacked his lips and belched without shame.
"Here are the rules, do try to pay attention, though I doubt you will. First, Zephyros Creek is your boundary. That means the flag has to be carried back across it into your own territory if you want to win. No flying it over either. Yes, Thalia Grace, I can see the little storm clouds brewing behind your eyes. Don't test me."
A few chuckles rippled through the crowd. Thalia scowled.
"Flags must be clearly visible. No stuffing them up a tree squirrel's arse or whatever insane idea you think is clever. Two guards max. And no, guards can't just stand on top of the flag. Ten yards, people. Learn to measure."
He wagged the soda can like a gavel. "The entire forest is fair game. All magic items are allowed. Prisoners? Sure, take them, disarm them, make them cry if you want but no binding, no gagging, and no interpretive dance torture sessions. Save it for drama class."
His eyes narrowed, sweeping the campers with weary disgust. "And of course, the boring part: no maiming, no killing, no permanent disfigurement. Which, if you ask me, takes all the fun out of it. Break the rule, lose dessert for a week. That means no s'mores. Yes, Clarisse, I see you about to protest. Cry me a river."
He sighed, long and theatrical. "Everything else? Fair game. Knock out teeth, break a rib or two, bash some heads together. As long as they're limping to breakfast tomorrow, I don't care."
Mr. D flapped his hand dismissively and turned away, already more interested in his soda than the lives of fifty armed teenagers. "Now go make fools of yourselves so I can get back to pretending you don't exist."
Chiron stepped forward, his tone calm but carrying the weight of command.
"You heard the rules. Capture the Flag is not about chaos. It is about discipline, teamwork, and strategy. Use your heads, not just your swords. The forest is vast so make it your ally. And above all, remember: we train to grow stronger, not to end up in the infirmary."
His eyes swept the gathered campers, lingering long enough to remind them that even play carried consequence. "Show me you can rise above Mr. D's expectations."
Naruto, standing on his toes to be seen, threw a fist in the air with a grin.
"Alright! Don't die, don't get caught, and whatever you do don't let Clarisse steal your dessert!"
A ripple of laughter spread through the campers. Clarisse's glare could have cracked stone.
Chiron's lips twitched, almost a smile, before he turned and motioned them toward the forest.
"Positions, everyone."
The horns blared again, louder this time, echoing into the woods like a war cry.
The red team swept left. The blue team swept right.
And the forest closed its jaws around them.
The horns died into the trees. For a heartbeat, silence hung as the lantern glowed on the banners, breath misting in the cooling air, with every camper strung tight as a bowstring. The forest itself seemed to hold its breath.
Then Naruto broke it.
"LEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINSSSSS!"
He launched himself into the woods like a firework gone rogue, hollering loud enough to shake pine needles loose. His cry was equal parts war chant and prank, ricocheting through the trees.
Birds burst skyward. Squirrels bolted in blind panic. Both teams turned at once, startled and wide-eyed.
Naruto crashed into the first clearing where Clarisse's Ares brutes had only just begun fortifying.
Spears stabbed into dirt, shields braced in a crude wall. Their smirks lasted half a second before the ground itself erupted in a spray of bark and splinters.
"Surprise noobs!"
One boy caught a branch across the chest and spun like a discus, splashing into the creek with a scream. Another lunged only for Naruto to snatch his helmet clean off, jam it backward over the kid's head, and shove him into his own shieldmate.
"BLUE TEAM, BABY!" Naruto bellowed, laughter cracking wild.
Hermes kids on the sidelines howled, banging shields like war drums. Others groaned, already dragging palms down their faces.
Bea Wise smacked her forehead so hard her glasses nearly fell off. Her carefully drawn map crumpled like paper in the rain.
"Cecil," she hissed, shoving the parchment at him. "Do something before he blows the plan to Tartarus!"
Cecil took a lazy bite of his apple, grinning wide. "Control him? Nah. He's pure poetry in motion. The best thing we can do is just let it happen."
On the far flank, red team lines collapsed like dominos.
Clarisse roared, her voice cutting like steel. "FORM RANKS, YOU USELESS WORMS!"
Too late. Aphrodite campers squealed, dropping shields to fix their hair and bolting in three different directions. A Hephaestus boy tripped over his hammer and flattened two allies. A Demeter girl screamed as Naruto vaulted her shield wall, snatched a loaf of bread from her satchel midair, and batted a spear aside with it.
"Carbs beat spears!" Naruto crowed, mouth full as he crammed the loaf between his teeth.
Bea stood frozen at the pavilion's edge, speechless. "This is… this is insane."
Luke hacked through brush with his strike team, branches lashing his arms. His jaw set. "Insane or not… it's working."
Because it was. Naruto's chaos was wildfire. The red team's formation shredded, traps sprung early, every plan Clarisse had unraveled under the blond storm that laughed at every swing and taunt.
"Over here!" Naruto yelled, darting left. "No, wait, I'm over here!" He slammed two helmets together with a crack and cackled. An Ares boy charged him, cursing, only to eat a faceful of mud when Naruto sidestepped and palmed his head straight into the muck.
The forest boiled with fury.
Then the air changed.
A sharp tang of ozone bit the tongue the metallic taste before the sky splits open. Blue sparks crawled down tree bark, chasing each other across the branches.
Thalia Grace strode into the clearing, hair whipping, lightning riding her shoulders. Her spear blazed bronze, sparks dancing from its tip as she leveled it straight at Naruto. A grin split her face, sharp and hungry.
"You damn treehugger!" she shouted over the bedlam. "You're mine!"
Naruto spun, crumbs still clinging to his cheek, eyes glittering with the same reckless fire. His grin was wide enough to split his face.
"Bring it on, Sparky!"
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