My vacation was supposed to be simple. Go back to the village, relax, and eat my grandma's food. The news channels had been screaming about heavy rains for a week, and they weren't wrong. It was a full-blown monsoon, but for some reason, our family's prized buffalo decided this was the perfect weather for a stroll near the river.
I threw on a raincoat, grumbling to myself, and trudged out to drag her back. But that thick-headed bitch had other plans. The moment I got close, she lowered her head and tackled me with the force of a small car, sending me flying straight into the river.
Which, I should add, was already flash-flooded.
The world became a chaotic swirl of brown water and debris before everything went black. When I opened my eyes again, the roaring of the river was gone, replaced by the gentle rustling of leaves. I was lying on damp soil in the middle of a deep, ancient-looking forest.
I've read enough manga and light novels to know where I was. I got Isekai'ed! I mean, sure, this time the job wasn't done by Truck-kun, but still… I got Isekai'ed.
You might be wondering how I knew I was in another world so quickly. Well, simple. When the first thing you see after waking up is a thick forest—the kind that doesn't even exist near my village—with trees as tall as you'd see in a Jurassic era, and then a frog the size of a Mini Cooper chasing a deer-like creature that... Ah… why does the deer-looking creature have a nose shaped suspiciously like... well, you know....dick?!?
Then the frog stopped. Its huge, unblinking eyes swiveled and locked onto me.
Oh, wait. It's looking at me now.
It let out a croak that sounded like a foghorn and took a bounding leap in my direction.
Oh, WAIT! IT'S COMING FOR ME!
"Damn it! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY SUPERPOWERS?!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet.
My inner monologue of becoming an overpowered hero vanished in a puff of pure panic. I ran. Fueled by adrenaline and the very real possibility of being eaten, I found the nearest climbable tree and scrambled up its trunk like a terrified monkey. I held my breath as the giant frog monster, thankfully, lost interest and went back to chasing the "penis-nose deer."
Once my heart stopped trying to beat its way out of my chest, I took in my surroundings from my treetop perch. In the far distance, I could see the faint outline of a town. Hope surged through me, immediately followed by a loud growl from my stomach. I noticed some squirrel-like creatures on a nearby branch happily munching on some bright purple berries. Figuring if it was good enough for them, it would be at least better than dying of starvation, I plucked a few and cautiously took a bite. They were surprisingly sweet.
I stuffed a handful of berries into my pocket and began my journey. As I walked, I couldn't shake my disappointment. This crappy world had given me nothing! I tried the essentials, of course. A dramatic shout of "Status Window!" earned me nothing but a sore throat. Pointing my palm at a rock and yelling "Fire Blast!" failed to produce so much as a spark. After ten minutes of increasingly desperate chuunibyou poses and commands, the only power I'd discovered was the ability to attract strange looks from the local fauna. I was completely, utterly, disappointingly powerless.
Carefully dodging weird animals, I finally reached a wide-open grassland. The town was much closer now, a welcome sight. But then I saw it. A figure, lying motionless on the ground.
Wait... is that a person? Are they dead?!
Forgetting my own safety for a moment, I ran towards them. "Hello..? Are you alright?"
I knelt beside him, reaching out a hesitant hand. He was incredibly striking: pale skin, long, silver-gray hair that shimmered even in the fading light, and a tall, slender figure. A gasp caught in my throat as he slowly lifted his chin. His lips parted just enough to reveal a beautiful, pearly white set of... fangs.
.
.
.
Wait... he HAS FANGS?!
Before I could process this internal conflict, his eyes snapped open. They were a startling, vibrant red. He didn't look at me with hunger, but with... horror.
"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?! What kind of disease is that?!" he shrieked, recoiling.
"The disease is I was born this way," I mumbled, my internal monologue screaming in outrage.
He blinked, then quickly recovered, a flush of pale pink rising on his cheeks. "Oh. Uh, sorry about that. You just look a little bit... never mind. Do you have some food? I can smell some berries on you. See, I've been starving for a while, so..."
Oh, shit! This is it. He's trying to lure me. I know he's a vampire; I've read and watched enough manga and anime to know that! I'm only eating these berries because they're the safest-looking thing in this forest. A powerful predator like him wouldn't be starving for... berries. He's a vampire! He's trying to get me to lower my guard so he can suck me dry!
Of course, I said all this internally. I'm not an idiot to provoke a freaking vampire.
As my mind spiraled in terror, the vampire, with surprising speed, pounced. My life flashed before my eyes.
Yep, goodbye. My second life was good while it lasted.
.
.
Crunch. Crunch.
I blinked. The vampire was sitting beside me, calmly munching on one of my purple berries.
"Wait... you're eating berries?" I asked, completely bewildered.
"Yep," he replied, taking another bite.
"Aren't you... a vampire?"
He paused, a berry halfway to his mouth. His red eyes narrowed. "...How do you know that?"
"Your fangs, your skin, your hair... everything screams vampire."
He sighed, running a hand through his silver hair. "Oh, and here I thought I completely looked human. You see, my fangs are usually hidden; they're only visible now because I was so weak from starvation. But now that I'm recharged," he said, swallowing the berry, "I can hide them again." He gave a little grunt of effort, and slowly, his fangs receded.
"So... you're going to eat me now?" I asked, still wary.
"Why would I do that?" He looked genuinely confused.
"Because you're a vampire!"
He scoffed. "I only eat veggies."
.
.
"Wh-what the fu—"
"Yes, I know! That's why I was exiled from my home!" he interrupted, sounding frustrated. "Because I refused to drink blood! And you," he added, looking me up and down, "you also look quite weird. Those clothes, I've never seen anything like them."
"Well, you see... ah…
Maybe I should also say I was also exiled from my family as I can't use magic? But wait, what if magic isn't even a thing in this world for humans? Vampires are real, as I can see one right in front of me, but magic… even if humans can use it, can everyone do that? Or is it rare? I'm taking a risk, but it's worth a shot. I'll figure something else out if he gives me some 'what magic, you kid?' look.
I was also exiled. Because I can't use magic."
He stared at me, then at the sky, then back at me. "Seriously? A human who's... ugly and with no magic? Aren't you an ultimate failure?"
Great! Looking at his reaction, it looks like magic is quite common here! ...Wait, shouldn't I be sad that I can't use it?
"Says who? The vampire who can't drink blood?" I shot back, the absurdity overriding my fear.
"I can," he bristled, "I just refuse to!"
"Doesn't matter. We're both outcasts, aren't we?" I said. "Abandoned by our own kind for not being what they wanted."
He fell silent, his red eyes looking at me with a new, grudging understanding. For the first time, he didn't look like a predator. He just looked... lonely.
"Yep," he finally admitted, his voice quiet.
"Well," I said, seizing the moment. "How about we go to that town together? Two failures have a better chance than one, right? And there will be less questioning if we say we're here to form a party."
Alright, let's see how he reacts. I sure do hope the system of party and adventurer exists in this world, just like in those books.
"Are we forming a party?" he asked, tilting his head.
Yes! It exists! Just by looking at his expression, which doesn't say "what the hell are you talking about?"
"That's what I thought we should do," I explained. "We're both new to this town, and we both need money. We can earn it if we get some simple quests done."
I can really use this vampire. I seriously need money if I have to live here. And maybe he won't be so bad. I mean, he only eats veggies, so he shouldn't be a danger to me. He can't be any worse than a buffalo, right?
"Alright!" I declared aloud. "Let's go to town and make a party!"
"What's your name, vamp?"
"Carl Zeiss," he replied, a faint, confident smirk playing on his lips. "And you are?"
"I'm Darcy Sinclair."
And that's how my new life in another world began: with a vegetarian vampire named Carl and the sinking feeling that I'd just signed my own death warrant.