Murong Jin walked slowly, Ning Bi a few steps behind, her eyes darting to her mistress's calm profile.
She had seen Lady Die Man leave the princess's chambers earlier. When Ning Bi had entered afterward, she had found Murong Jin pale as a sheet, so lost in thought she hadn't even heard her name being called.
What did that woman say to her? Ning Bi wondered.
But the princess had insisted she was fine. Her tone had clearly meant, Do not tell Xue Liulan. Ning Bi, however, had already dispatched He Chengjian to the palace. Her master had given her orders, too.
Suddenly, Murong Jin stopped. "Ning Bi, what were you and He Chengjian whispering about before we left?"
"Ah? Nothing, Your Highness. Nothing at all."
"Really?" Murong Jin studied her, then her expression softened into a smile. "Or have you found a sweetheart?"
"What? He Chengjian?" Ning Bi sputtered, then laughed. "Your Highness, please. He's a block of wood. I'd die of boredom."
Murong Jin just smiled. "Rongcui Tower is just ahead. I'll go the rest of the way alone."
"But, Your Highness…" Ning Bi hesitated. If she stumbles, the master will have my hide.
"What are you worried about?" Murong Jin said. "Speaking of, the master is in the palace today, isn't he?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
"Then go and find him. Have He Chengjian tell him I'm here, and that I'm fine."
Ning Bi looked down, her face flushed with guilt. "Yes."
"Ning Bi, your master is trying to rebuild his reputation right now. The Emperor is unwell, and most of the court's affairs are falling on his shoulders. We shouldn't bother him with trivial matters."
"But Your Highness, your affairs are not trivial!" Ning Bi pouted. "To the master, nothing about you or the little prince is trivial."
"Oh?" Murong Jin was touched. She looked away. "Even so, I don't want to be a burden."
Is this, Ning Bi wondered, her way of loving him?
"Alright, enough talk." Murong Jin pointed down another path. "That way leads to the Hall of Virtuous Governance. If he's discussing state matters, he'll be there."
She turned and walked down the small stone path toward Rongcui Tower. She walked slowly, both from the pregnancy and from the weight of what she was about to do. It was time.
"Jin?" Murong Yu looked surprised to see her at the door. "What are you doing here?"
"I should have come to see you sooner. I've been ill."
"Come in, quickly." Murong Yu took her hand. After the Crown Prince's death, she had moved to a residence near his tomb. She'd had a lot of time to think. Some things, she'd begun to let go.
Murong Jin sat, studying her cousin. She was thinner, the bright spark in her eyes replaced by a deep, inescapable sorrow.
"You must be careful, now that you're pregnant," Murong Yu said, placing her own hand-warmer into Murong Jin's. "You're so pale."
Murong Jin gave a faint laugh. "It's been one thing after another. I'm just tired."
"It's the way of the imperial family." Murong Yu sighed. "But at least the Fifth Prince is working hard for you and the child now. He will be a great man one day."
Murong Jin just stared at the hand-warmer. "You still have this?"
"It was a gift from home. I've always used it." It was carved with a phoenix and auspicious clouds.
Things are gone, people are gone, Murong Yu thought, but the memory still hurts.
"He is gone, Sister. Why hold on to his betrothal gift?" Murong Jin asked softly. "It's time to let yourself go."
"Let myself go?"
"It is not easy to find a man who loves you. I never thought you, of all people, would be the one to throw that away."
"You…?" Murong Yu shot to her feet, her chest heaving. After a long moment, she sank back down. "It wasn't I who threw him away. Our fate was just… too shallow."
"The man you wanted to grow old with… was it really him?" Murong Jin stood, her voice cold. "Are you going to keep lying to me?"
Murong Yu's hands clenched into fists, the veins standing out. How does she know?
"Fine," she sneered. "To think, after all this time, you came here to condemn me."
"I'm not here to condemn you," Murong Jin said, relieved. Her accusation had been a bluff. "Poisoning the Crown Prince is a capital offense. If you go down, you take the entire Murong family with you. I am not foolish enough to be buried alongside you. We are family. We both serve the Murong name."
The hardness in Murong Yu's face softened. "Jin, do you think this past year has been easy for me?"
The raw grief in her voice stunned Murong Jin. She had always thought her cousin was ruthless, incapable of regret.
"I've thought about it so much. He was truly good to me. Liuyun was a gentle man. In all our time together, he never once spoke a harsh word to me." Tears began to stream down Murong Yu's face. "Even at the end… he told me to go back to our family. He said that as long as Xue Liulan was there, no one would dare to harm me."
"He only ever wanted you to be safe," Murong Jin said softly. "That's why, even though Xue Liulan knew you were the killer, he still treated you with respect. Sister… how could you do it?"
"I don't know." Murong Yu buried her face in her hands, her sobs growing louder. "I thought I loved Xue Feiyan. I thought when Liuyun died, I would feel… relieved."
"But instead, you found that you had, over time, fallen in love with him." Murong Jin looked at her with pity. She had come here to use this guilt against her. She no longer had to.
She placed a hand on her cousin's shoulder. The room was filled with the sound of weeping.
Finally, the sobs subsided.
"He is gone. But he would be glad to see you at peace," Murong Jin said.
"I failed him."
Murong Jin looked at her swollen eyes and had to turn away. Was it her fault? Or our family's? We are all just sacrifices.
She walked to the door. "You didn't just come back to pay respects, did you, Sister?"
"Jin?"
"You have his nature. You would want to help him fulfill his dying wish. He wouldn't want to see his own brother slaughtered, would he?" Murong Jin's voice was calm, but the words were ruthless. This was why she had come. She had to force her hand.
This was Jindu. You were forced to do the things you never wanted to.
The silence stretched. Murong Jin began to waver. She could just stay here. She could be free.
Just as she was about to take it back, Murong Yu's voice, now calm and weary, came from behind her. "You've changed, Jin."
"Cruel? Heartless?"
"You know how to make sacrifices. A person's strength is limited. If you want to protect one thing, you must give up another. It is true now, and it will be true in the future."
Before Murong Jin could answer, a knock came at the door.
"Eldest Sister-in-law? Are you in?"
Xue Liulan?
"He is worthy of it," Murong Yu whispered. She raised her voice. "Fifth Brother, since you are here, please come in."