The more we talked, the closer I felt to him. It wasn't like we were suddenly best friends or anything. It was just the small things. Like when he would come over to ask me a question about the homework, or when I would quietly go to him for help with something from class. Those little moments meant the world to me.
It was never loud. It was never a scene. Just him walking across the room, stopping by my seat, and leaning over to ask about one math problem or one test question. But in those few seconds, my heart would feel so serious, so focused, like nothing else in the world mattered.
And one day, everything changed a little.
That day, instead of just coming for a short question, he pulled a chair and sat down beside me. My heart almost stopped. He had never done that before. He never sat beside anyone. Ever. But that day, he chose to sit next to me.
We spent the whole day together. Passing books back and forth, whispering answers, laughing softly over small mistakes, helping each other with classwork and assignments. It felt so normal. So simple. But to me, it was everything.
For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like an outsider. I didn't feel invisible. I felt like someone wanted to sit beside me. Someone wanted to share time with me.
When class ended, I thought that was it. I thought it would just be a nice memory. But on the way home, he stopped me. My heart was beating so fast I could barely breathe.
He looked at me, quiet at first, and then he asked for my number.
I can't even explain how that felt. Happiness flooded me. Shock too. Because he never even talked to anyone there, not the way he talked to me. He never opened up to them...But he asked me.... I felt seen for the very first time in my life... I just knew... This one would be the death of me.. I didn't realize then but... I loved him already
It felt like those guarded eyes I always saw in him… softened for me, just a little. Like maybe he was letting down his walls. Like maybe he was telling me, "You're different. You're someone I can trust."
And inside me, I thought maybe this was the person I needed.
Maybe he understood. Maybe, when the time came, we could open up to each other. Maybe, somehow, we could even help heal each other.
It was like breathing fresh air after holding my breath for years. Every time we spoke, I felt that release. That little bit of hope.
And all I could think was, please, let this story be different. Please, let it not end like the other boy... I hope this is the last time I get hurt because I won't recover