"Hum~"
As expected, the moment Subei pinched Xiao Wu's delicate fingers, the rabbit girl softened instantly. Her face flushed bright red, and she leaned against him in embarrassment.
Xiao Wu wrinkled her nose, pretending to be fierce, though her charm betrayed her more than any real threat. "Brother, I told you before—Xiao Wu's rabbit ears are off-limits! You can't touch them~"
The way she said it wasn't intimidating in the slightest. Instead, her coquettish tone carried just enough sweetness that it could easily stir dangerous thoughts.
Subei suddenly remembered a bizarre scene from a novel he once read: a bandit attempts to rob a woman late at night, only to discover she performed Taekwondo. The mugging turned, somehow, into a playful… fight.
It perfectly echoed that infamous saying: "The more you resist, the more excited I become~."
"Want to play?" Subei teased gently.
Xiao Wu's palms clasped tight around his index and middle fingers, holding him hostage. He could feel her whole body trembling, though she tried her best to appear calm.
Xiao Wu huffed and gave a sideways glance. "Play? Of course! I-I was just saying."
Subei arched a brow. "And what exactly do you mean by playing?"
"Well…" Xiao Wu traced small circles with her fingers, clearly flustered. "I want to know what's so fun about this… this big lump of iron?"
Liu Erlong folded her arms in silence. She had no idea how to even begin approaching the strange contraption in front of them.
"Hey? There are words here!" Zhu Zhuqing, ever observant, leaned closer. She gently turned the crystal pointer mounted atop the transport tray. After it spun around more than once, glowing characters appeared within the red and blue crystalline surfaces.
Zhu Zhuqing eyed the part the pointer had chosen. "That's strange. It says: 'Would you rather drink natural, pollution-free lily water or a nutritious and healthy baby formula?' What does this even mean?"
"…A drink?" Xiao Wu muttered.
Subei nearly broke into a cold sweat. He silently prayed. As long as the heart remains pure, even the filthiest suggestion sounds wholesome. Any car can pass unnoticed by pretending not to see it.
"How can the words change? This is magical!" Liu Erlong, intrigued, tried it herself. Sure enough, every spin reshuffled the questions.
"It's kind of interesting," she admitted.
The little group grew excited, curiosity brimming in everyone's eyes.
"How is it doing this?" someone asked.
"Guess?" Subei grinned slyly.
"Guess your godmother's ass!" Liu Erlong snapped. "If you're playing tricks, Xiaobei, I'll smack you."
Subei sighed. "Fine, fine. It's just internal mechanics working inside. Nothing mystical."
Then he pointed toward the dice cups nearby. "The game's simple. It's like a dice match. Everyone shakes once, then spins the pointer. Whatever it lands on, you do it."
He quickly laid out the rules: "We've got four people, so each rolls. The one with the lowest points spins. Blue area means Truth: you must answer honestly. Red area means Dare: you must act it out. No lying, no half-measures, or the game's no fun."
For Subei, this game was old news, a pastime from Earth. But for Liu Erlong, Xiao Wu, and Zhu Zhuqing, it was something entirely foreign and fresh.
"What if someone asks… a very private question?" Zhu Zhuqing asked timidly.
Subei smirked. "Even if someone asks when your 'aunt' comes, you still have to answer truthfully. Otherwise it's boring."
"…Aunt?" Xiao Wu blinked in confusion. "Xiao Wu doesn't have an aunt."
Subei froze, then looked her square in the eye. "Not that kind of aunt. It's a euphemism. I mean those few days every month when you girls feel weak and irritable… with bleeding."
"Ah?"
The room went quiet. Xiao Wu and Zhu Zhuqing tilted their heads, looking bewildered. "Girls have that? Brother, are you mistaken? We've never had anything like that."
Subei's jaw nearly unhinged. "What? That's impossible!"
Could it be… that on the Douluo Continent, female physiology was different from modern Earth's?
No wonder the women here were so ridiculously fierce.
Only Liu Erlong flushed bright red, lips pursed as her maternal instincts surfaced. She gently patted the two younger girls' heads. "Don't worry. You're still young. You'll understand in time. If your body ever feels strange… you must tell me."
Even Liu Erlong felt somewhat embarrassed. Raising children wasn't her specialty, and she had nearly forgotten biological matters like this altogether. Physiological problems were still taboo even on Douluo Continent, far more so than modern society. But thanks to their soul power, women here could even regulate themselves in emergencies, ensuring their health was never at risk.
Zhu Zhuqing and Xiao Wu finally began to piece it together. Together, they blinked, eyes wide in confusion.
Liu Erlong's gaze then shifted sharply toward Subei. Her expression grew deep, serious. "Xiaobei, let's pause the game. First, tell your godmother—how exactly do you know such things?"
Her doubts were clear. Teenage boys usually chased after soul mastery and cultivation, not problems of female anatomy.
"Uh…" Subei's mind raced. How could he explain without revealing too much? Reading? Experience? Observing firsthand? Too embarrassing.
Then a thought struck him like lightning. He straightened, placing one hand over his chest. "Cough. I know these things because I'm… a doctor."
"Doctor?" Liu Erlong narrowed her eyes. "Don't try to trick me. Did those two Spirit Hall saints teach you all this, clinging to you every day?"
Her suspicion was clear as fire.
"No!" Subei raised both hands in protest. Before he could explain further, Xiao Wu betrayed him with ruthless honesty.
She puffed up indignantly: "Yes, godmother! I'm not lying. One time I fell asleep in his arms, and when I woke up, another woman was lying in his other arm!"
"Xiao Wu!" Subei nearly fainted. Don't agree so enthusiastically!
As soon as those words left her lips, Liu Erlong's temper spiked. Her eyes burned with fiery resolve.
Her inner voice roared: Bibi Dong, you wench. Once, I couldn't fight you. But now, I will rise. One day, you'll never steal Xiaobei from me again!
Her deep resentment surfaced. Years ago, Bibi Dong had barged into Lanba Academy, casting an inescapable shadow over Liu Erlong's heart by nearly taking Subei away. Now, she finally felt the courage to resist.
For a moment, Subei panicked. "Godmother, please, don't be so hostile toward Spirit Hall…"
But Liu Erlong only smiled faintly. "Don't worry. Godmother knows her limits. Spirit Hall is vast, powerful, filled with experts. I won't rush recklessly. But one day… we'll see."
"I swear, this isn't something I learned from Xue'er or Nana!" Subei added fiercely, pleading with every word.
Still, the doubt lingered in the women's eyes. Was this… divine inspiration?
Just then—
Buzz
The door creaked open. A pair of long, elegant legs appeared first, followed by Dugu Yan stepping inside with a small plate of fruit. She paused when everyone turned toward her at once. "Uh… Why are you all staring at me like that?"
Finding two small tables, she set the fruit down and casually perched on the bed.
Liu Erlong averted her eyes. Their tension was obvious.
Spotting his chance, Subei leapt on it. "Yan'er! Thank goodness you're here! They're doubting me, can you believe it? They don't think I'm truly a doctor!"
To him, Dugu Yan was salvation itself—the one who had seen his skill firsthand, when he'd faced the Tang Sect's chasing-soul poison without fear.
Hearing that, Dugu Yan immediately straightened. She turned to Liu Erlong, voice firm. "His Highness is telling the truth. He is a doctor. Not only that—he's unmatched! Invincible!"
Liu Erlong pursed her lips, clearly unconvinced. "Yan'er, don't help him weave lies. If you keep covering for him, I'll punish you… by making you play this game with us."
Dugu Yan, unsurprisingly, agreed. "Fine. I'll join. But I wasn't lying, Aunt Liu. His Highness really is skilled in medicine and poison. No one matches him." Her cheeks flushed slightly. Her admiration sparkled for everyone to see.
She then recounted the tale of how Subei had subdued her grandfather, Dugu Bo—the infamous Poison Douluo. Everyone in the world knew his reputation as unrivaled in poison. For someone to not only stand against him, but even win his respect? The implications were staggering.
Liu Erlong's heart beat faster. Could it be true?
"If your poison mastery is that advanced…" she murmured, "then you must possess a deep understanding of medicine as well, Xiaobei?"
Her gaze softened, ripples surging beneath the surface. For the first time, she looked at him differently—not just as a son, but as a man with uncanny knowledge and power.
Holding his head high, Subei nodded confidently. "Naturally. I can diagnose by sight, sound, pulse, and touch. I can see through to the truth of the body."
To prove his point, he peered toward Liu Erlong, eyes narrowing as a strange yin-yang divination symbol glimmered faintly. "Godmother… you've overstrained yourself recently haven't you? Tell me, haven't you been feeling a little—unstable in your cultivation?"
Before he could finish, Liu Erlong darted forward like a wolf pouncing, clamping shut his mouth with her hand. Her eyes burned, her face crimson.
"Enough! Don't speak of these things in front of the children! Tonight—at midnight—come to your godmother's room. We'll… talk privately."
Everyone's jaws hit the floor.
Subei, still muffled, blinked wide. When she finally let him go, he muttered, "Godmother, you do need conditioning. Luckily, I know a special set of acupuncture techniques that can help."
"Acupuncture?" Zhu Zhuqing, cheeks red, whispered aloud.
Dugu Yan tilted her head. "But doesn't acupuncture usually… mean undressing?"
Immediately, every woman's thoughts spiraled differently:
Liu Erlong: So what? Perfect! (eyes shining)
Xiao Wu: I want to try too!
Zhu Zhuqing: Too embarrassing… but maybe… could I ask him to check me as well?
Dugu Yan: Damn, why didn't I think of this earlier? I should've pretended to be poisoned!
Caught in their dangerous gazes, Subei quickly clarified. "Wait, wait! My techniques work even through clothes. Absolutely no risk, no impropriety."
But Liu Erlong, flustered beyond reason, blurted out: "No! Not through clothes!"
The entire room froze in stunned silence.
Subei nearly fainted on the spot.
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