Chapter 0161: Humans and Pokémon Cannot Be Together
Shokugeki World.
"Why were you gone so long?"
Lying on the tatami while swinging her slender legs clad in black tights, Erina had been leisurely reading shoujo manga when she propped herself up upon Hayashi's entrance, curiosity coloring her voice. "Did something troublesome happen?"
Hayashi had left at dawn yesterday but only returned by dusk today—a full day and a half apart, unusually long for the inseparable duo of over four years.
"No troubles, just accompanied a certain willful Miss Ho-Oh to a few places." Hayashi chuckled, settling beside Erina to stroke her plump, shapely thigh with evident satisfaction. "You wouldn't know this, Erina, but Miss Ho-Oh has quite the girlish heart—"
"???"
Willful Miss Ho-Oh!?
And Her Girlish Heart?!
When these two strange keywords were combined, the young lady who had been lying on the tatami instinctively sat up and carefully observed Hayashi's expression—more precisely, the faint smile at the corner of his lips. Alarm bells rang in her mind, and she couldn't help but say, "Um, Hayashi..."
"Hmm?"
"Humans and Pokémon... that's not allowed, okay?"
"...Huh?"
Hayashi, who had been immersed in Ho-Oh's wails, was suddenly taken aback by Erina's "warning." He blinked in confusion before instinctively lowering his gaze to meet her eyes.
Hayashi: "?"
Erina: "!"
After a brief exchange of glances, Hayashi's face twisted into a visible question mark. He said incredulously, "Wait, Erina, what the heck are you imagining!? Who in their right mind would go after a shiny Fearow!? Isn't Gardevoir way better?"
"!!!"
Erina's eyes widened in shock, and she grabbed Hayashi's sleeve nervously. "Y-you wouldn't actually go after Gardevoir, would you!? Right!?"
What even are Pokémon? Animals? No, probably not animals, then... furry!? A furry enthusiast, huh? Uncle would be thrilled!
At least Hayashi had the decency to pick Gardevoir. If he'd said something like Magikarp, Goldeen, or Gorebyss, Erina would've definitely pulled a nun cosplay on the spot.
"What the hell are you thinking?" Hayashi flicked Erina's forehead with his finger in exasperation. "Come on, I already have such a beautiful girlfriend—why would I be desperate enough to go after a Pokémon? No matter how great Gardevoir is, could she ever compare to you, Erina?"
"Wah!"
Erina let out a short squeak, covering her flushed face before burying it into Hayashi's chest—Gah, why did he suddenly say something so embarrassing!?
Meanwhile, Hisako, standing at the door: 'I should be under the car, not at the door—is there even room for a third wheel like me here?'
...
...
"Phew—"
Hayashi set his empty bowl down on the table with satisfaction, leaning back contentedly as he patted his stomach. "Man, Erina's cooking really is the best!"
"Oh? Haven't you been eating well these past couple of days?"
"Well, it's not like the food was bad. The maids in Sky City have a guaranteed baseline skill level—"
Hayashi waved his hand dismissively. The culinary skills of Sky City's maid corps had been personally programmed by Erina and Hisako, ensuring they all possessed cooking abilities on par with the Elite Ten students. But the problem was...
Hayashi shrugged. "I just prefer Chinese food, honestly."
When setting up these NPCs, to match the castle theme of Sky City, their cooking styles had been designed around Western cuisine. So for the past two days, Hayashi had been eating Western dishes—sandwiches, steak, borscht, bread, and the like. But he just wasn't into it.
Seriously, is steak really better than braised beef with tomatoes? Are sandwiches tastier than shumai or doupi? Does bread even compare to savory meat buns?
"You've got a point—"
Erina glanced at the dishes on the table—stir-fried tomatoes with eggs, braised pork knuckle in soy sauce, shredded potatoes with chili and vinegar, steamed pork with sweet potato starch, a plate of stir-fried seasonal vegetables, all topped with a ladle of stewed pork broth.
How could one simply describe this aroma with just the word "fragrant"?
Thinking of Hayashi's heroic display earlier—devouring three large bowls of rice while hugging an oversized bowl—Erina couldn't help but laugh. "Indeed," she said, "it's hard to associate you with Western cuisine."
"Western food is too stingy," Hayashi leaned back in his chair, picking his teeth with a Rainbow Feather Ver. toothpick. "Such a huge plate, yet only a tiny piece of steak? It's downright ridiculous."
That steak, along with the decorative greens and sauce, didn't even cover a third of the plate. How could they justify using such a large plate? Were they worried Parkinson's patients wouldn't have enough room to cut their steak?
"Ahahaha—"
Listening to Hayashi's rant about Western cuisine, Erina burst into hearty laughter and gave him a thumbs-up. "You're absolutely right! Western food is way too stingy—"
The old Erina would have angrily retorted, "The large plates in Western cuisine are for aesthetic plating and overall harmony, blah blah blah—"
But the current Erina remained unfazed by Hayashi's remarks. Instead, she lay on his lap, joining him in criticizing the "unreasonable" aspects of Western cuisine.
Low EQ: Partners in crime.
High EQ: A harmonious couple.
After some playful banter, Erina sat up and looked at Hayashi. "By the way, when are we leaving for the next world?"
Next world?
Hayashi thought for a moment. "Technically, we can leave anytime. It just depends on how long you want to rest here."
Erina fell silent for a few seconds before making a deadpan expression. "I don't want to stay in this world for even a second longer!!"
Hayashi couldn't even begin to imagine Erina's current state of mind—good heavens, she had been sleeping peacefully in bed last night when someone suddenly shook her awake. Opening her eyes, she found Mana sitting on top of her—and then her mother dragged her into watching four and a half hours of "educational films," claiming she needed to pass down "that kind of knowledge."
It was... complicated. Those who know, know.
"Is it really that bad?"
"Not a single exaggeration."
Erina sighed. Just thinking about her mother's words—"We'll continue tomorrow night"—sent chills down her spine. Watching wasn't the issue, but Mana had bizarre tastes, preferring films where all the female leads had bean-shaped eyebrows!
What kind of madness was that? Easier to self-insert, huh?
Hayashi pulled Erina back into his arms. "Alright, then we'll leave tomorrow morning?"
Erina nodded obediently, then sneakily glanced around to confirm no one was in the room. Blushing slightly, she leaned close to Hayashi's ear and whispered, "Wanna sleep together tonight?"
Hayashi didn't hesitate for even 0.1 seconds before nodding eagerly. "Sounds perfect to me!"
...
...
Thanks to sharing a room with Hayashi, Erina managed to avoid her mother's "marital education" lecture—though when Mana walked into the dining room the next morning and saw her, the knowing smile made Erina instinctively clench her fists.
Why that "Oh ho, Mommy just taught you the day before yesterday, and you couldn't wait to try it out yesterday?" expression!
Not that they didn't do it…
But Hayashi started it!
Not that I wasn't looking forward to it…
Ugh, never mind!
Erina stiffened her neck and glared at Mana before urging Hayashi, "Hayashi, hurry up and open a portal to send Mother to somewhere else already!"
"Eh—"
Mana puffed out her cheeks in dissatisfaction. "How heartless can you be, girl? I can still walk, jump, eat, and run just fine, and you're already trying to ship me off? What if I get so old I can't move anymore—you'd dump me straight into a nursing home, wouldn't you?"
"Heh—"
Erina forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "If you ever get so old you can't move or speak, I'll absolutely hire eight or ten nurses to take care of you, don't worry!"
At least then you wouldn't drag me out of bed at night to watch "educational" films!
Mana chuckled, hiding the lower half of her face behind a folding fan as she turned her sly gaze to Hayashi. "Tsk tsk, my dear son-in-law, don't you think my Erina is being terribly cruel—"
Hayashi pointed dumbly at himself. "Huh?"
"What do you mean, 'huh'?" Mana arched an eyebrow. "You're Erina's husband, and I'm Erina's mother—so calling me 'Mom' isn't a problem, right?"
"Uh—" Hayashi scratched his cheek awkwardly. "I guess not."
She was his mother-in-law, after all—half a mom, so to speak.
"See?" Mana grinned like a fox. "Now, my dear son, stand up for your poor mom—Erina's bullying me~"
Before Hayashi could respond, Erina yanked him behind her and glared at her mother like a bristling cat. "Don't drag Hayashi into this, you idiot mom!"
"Only idiots call others idiots!"
"Pfft, you're the idiot!"
"You are!"
"Rebound!"
"Rebound voided!"
"Rebound voided voided!"
"Rebound void ignored!"
Listening to this elementary school—no, kindergarten-level bickering, Hayashi covered his mouth with a hand to stifle his laughter. Otherwise, he'd end up like Hisako beside him, silently pinching her thigh to keep from bursting out.