Chapter 0156: Sorry, It Didn't Cool Down
An hour and a half later.
Hayashi lay dazed on the bed, his eyes glazed over, with Erina fast asleep beside him.
'Sorry, it didn't cool down.'
'But, well... doing it wasn't as scary as I thought, huh?'
Why had Hayashi always been so "nervous" about the idea of getting intimate with Erina?
It was all because of his virgin mentality! Any older virgin would understand this fear—
Sure, he'd watched plenty of movies, but what if he still couldn't perform well?
What if he got too nervous and couldn't get it up?
If he messed up, would she laugh at him?
This fear of failure grew stronger with age and the length of virginity. To exaggerate a bit, if an older virgin failed once in such a situation, it might even lead to psychological trauma—resulting in future dysfunction.
But, as it turned out... it wasn't as difficult as Hayashi had imagined?
It was perfect, smooth, and... very wet. Very comfortable.
"Stare—"
Hayashi turned his head to look at Erina, who had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Recalling her alluring expressions and the passion in her eyes earlier, his expression suddenly changed.
Cool it down, buddy!
...
...
The next day, at the Nakiri residence.
Hayashi sat awkwardly on a chair while Erina curled up in his arms like an ostrich.
The culprits behind the current situation were the old man sitting across the table, Mana, and Hisako—oh, and perhaps also the bowl of red bean rice on the table, cooked personally by the old man.
This morning, when Hayashi returned to the Nakiri residence with Erina, they were greeted with loud party poppers, as well as the old man, Mana, and Hisako surrounding them, clapping their hands and saying, "Congratulations!"
For a moment, Hayashi almost thought the three of them had watched too much Evangelion and were preparing to reenact the "Congratulations" ending.
But then, the group pulled him and Erina to the dining table, placed the red bean rice in front of them, and—
"Eek—!"
Erina let out a shriek and immediately buried her face in Hayashi's chest.
With the red bean rice served, the meaning behind the party poppers and the theatrical "Congratulations" at the entrance needed no further explanation.
The problem was…
"How did you guys know… Wait a second—!?" Hayashi's question was cut short as he slapped his own forehead. "That sudden rainstorm yesterday—was that your doing? Was it the Guardians? Or Yunyun? I knew something was off when the forecast said no rain, but then it poured—"
"Ah!"
Hisako blinked, then let out an awkward chuckle. "Young Master, you figured it out?"
Hayashi sighed. "I'm not an idiot—of course I figured it out. And I bet you guys booked out every other room in that hotel, leaving only one for me and Erina, right?"
"Ahahaha—"
Hisako shot a pleading look at the old man.
The old man abruptly stood up and briskly walked toward the second floor. "Ah! I completely forgot—I left the water boiling! Gotta go hang the laundry!"
"Uh, well—"
Hisako then turned her gaze to Mana.
Mana frowned, stood up as well, and followed the old man upstairs while muttering to herself, "I slept all night, but I'm still so tired. Need to watch some TV, or I'll get wrinkles."
Hayashi: "???"
Could you two at least try to come up with better excuses?
Boiling water to hang laundry? Sleeping all night but still needing to watch TV to avoid wrinkles?
For crying out loud, even the excuses I used to skip class weren't this ridiculous!
Though he desperately wanted to rant, Hayashi could only watch the old man and Mana leave with twitching lips and dead-fish eyes, all while holding his ostrich-mode girlfriend in his arms.
"W-Well…" Hisako awkwardly stood up. "I just remembered I haven't finished my summer homework yet! I'll go mop the floor now!"
Oh, so you're copying them too!?
Before Hayashi could retort, the "ostrich" in his arms moved with lightning speed, grabbing Hisako's wrist.
With a flushed face, Erina leaned in close, baring her teeth as she hissed, "Hisako! You're going to tell me everything about your little scheme! Right! Now!"
"Y-Yes…"
Hisako shrank back, her voice trembling as if she were about to cry.
Headmaster, Madam, save me—
...
...
Soon enough, Hisako, the loyal secretary of Erina, revealed the "Love Love Operation" that she, the old master, and Mana had concocted.
"Ah—"
Erina let out a distressed cry, then pressed her forehead against Hayashi's chest, utterly mortified as she wailed, "Hayashi, what do we do!? They all know now—"
"Ahem, well, it's not that big a deal if they know, right?" Hayashi couldn't help but laugh as he held Erina by the shoulders. "If anything, it's impossible to hide something like this from your family, isn't it?"
Come on, he was the pig who had dug up the family's prized cabbage—how shameless would it be to try and hide that fact!?
"That's not the point!"
Erina clutched her head in despair and cried, "Of course I knew we couldn't hide it from them! But being assisted like this the whole way is just too embarrassing!!"
Ahem, well, that was fair.
Hayashi scratched his cheek awkwardly, then glanced at Hisako, who was blinking at him with an innocent expression.
'How dare you look so innocent!?' Hayashi glared at her. 'Don't think I don't know—you're the mastermind behind this! Eighty percent of this plan was your idea!'
'H-How did the young master figure that out!?' Hisako guiltily averted her gaze, then clasped her hands behind her head and pouted, silently whistling—she didn't dare make a sound, lest she draw Erina's attention.
"Uwah, what do we do!?"
Erina continued clutching her head, letting out adorable cries of distress.
'What are you standing around for?' Hayashi shot another glare at Hisako, then jerked his chin toward Erina. 'Hurry up and think of a way to comfort Erina!'
'???' Hisako's eyes widened in shock as she pointed at herself in disbelief. 'Me? Shouldn't that be the young master's job!?'
'Of course it's you! This wasn't my plan!' Hayashi leaned back in his chair and looked away, pretending to study the artistic value of the painting on the wall.
He couldn't be blamed—Hayashi's comfort skills were roughly at the level of:
Friend: "I'm so sad."
Hayashi: "Don't be sad."
Friend: "I'm in pain."
Hayashi: "Don't be in pain."
Friend: "I'm hopeless."
Hayashi: "Don't be hopeless."
—With skills like that, how could he possibly comfort Erina?
Better to leave it to Hisako.
"Y-Young miss…" Seeing that Hayashi was no help, Hisako had no choice but to steel herself and sit beside Erina, whispering, "Young miss, please don't be angry."
"Hisako, how can you say that? This was all your idea!"
"Young miss, I'm innocent! The headmaster and Madam forced me into this!"
"Couldn't you have just brushed them off?"
"They're not idiots—it's not that easy to fool them!"
That was a lie.
Hisako's inner thoughts at this moment were: 'Fooling around? Why would I fool around!? Your progress is slower than middle schoolers, it's agonizing to watch! Especially the young master—kept saying he'd wait until Erina turned twenty, but even after that he's still too timid! If I don't give them a push, they might drag this out for another five years!'
"But, but..." Erina puffed up her cheeks, clearly still resentful of Hisako's "betrayal"—mainly because the experience of being escorted by friends and family into a hotel to roll in the sheets with her lover was just too damn embarrassing.
"Come on, Erina! We meant well!" Hisako grabbed Erina's hand and earnestly persuaded her. "After all, the progress of your relationship with the young master is just too slow. Even I'm getting anxious!"
"W-well..."
The previously fuming Erina immediately shrank back guiltily—she really couldn't argue with this. After all, it wasn't just Hayashi who was timid. If she'd been braver, she would've already taken the initiative herself.
As Erina's momentum waned, Hisako's surged.
"Erina, why don't you calculate how long it's been since you and the young master got together?"
"Half a year in the Pokémon world."
"A year and a half in the Disciple world."
"Half a year in the Konosuba world."
"A year and a half in the Overlord world."
"Not counting the scattered time in between, that's already four years! Too slow, way too slow!"
'N-no rebuttal...' Hearing Hisako's words, Erina guiltily lowered her head and muttered, "Eh, i-it's already been four years..."
By Japanese standards, dating for four years without even rolling in the sheets wasn't just "slow"—it was downright abnormal. Even the student council president and Kaguya had done it within a year of getting together.
"The director and madam were getting impatient too, which is why they had to resort to this, because—"
"Alright, alright!" Before Hisako could finish, a flustered Erina covered her mouth. "I-I get it already! Hisako, you don't need to say anymore!"
'That settled it?' Hayashi watched as Hisako effortlessly (though not really) defused Erina's anger, leaving her waving the white flag in surrender. He couldn't help but give Hisako a thumbs-up.
Well done! Truly worthy of being called Hisako!
As they say, a nickname is never given wrongly!