Noelle couldn't bring herself to hate Jessica.
It wasn't just that Jessica was stunning, magnetic and the centre of attention wherever she went. It was something else. Something quieter, subtler that Noelle had begun to notice over time. Jessica had a way of being genuinely kind to people, especially to girls. She laughed with them, helped them when they stumbled, complimented them when they did well and carried herself in a way that didn't belittle anyone for their insecurities.
Even when Jessica noticed Noelle lingering in the background, watching quietly, she had never spoken a word of mockery or superiority. On the contrary, she sometimes offered small smiles, nods of acknowledgment, gestures that felt almost like reassurance. There was no malice in her, no desire to hurt anyone. It was just that the world seemed to bend around her natural confidence and everyone else couldn't help but be swept along.
Noelle had also discovered, slowly, that Jessica's life wasn't as perfect as it looked. Behind the effortless charm and dazzling smile were cracks, shadows of struggles she rarely spoke about. Noelle had heard from Fiona that Jessica had quarrelled fiercely with her mother and, in a moment of anger, had run away for a few nights to stay at Fiona's place. That was when Jessica had gotten a little closer to Noelle, seeing her as someone quiet but steady, someone who didn't compete or judge.
Noelle could never bring herself to hate someone who was so kind to her, despite the perfect image. Jessica carried herself with a confidence that could make hearts skip a beat, yet there were cracks in the armour that only a few ever glimpsed. She, had her struggles, family quarrels that left her raw, moments of doubt hidden behind practiced smiles and it was in those moments that her insecurities became almost tangible.
Noelle sometimes caught Jessica off guard, seeing her softer side: a fleeting hesitation, a laugh that didn't quite reach her eyes or the way she would linger a little too long over a worry before pushing it away. There was a humanity there; a complexity that made her more than the storm of charm and beauty everyone noticed. It was easy to see why someone like Han with his own warmth and sensitivity could be drawn to her. It's not just for the surface brilliance but for that hidden vulnerability that craves for attention and calls for protection.
And yet, for Noelle, this awareness didn't breed jealousy. It brought a quiet understanding: that people were rarely just what they appeared to be, that kindness and vulnerability could coexist with magnetism and allure. Even as Jessica captivated others effortlessly, Noelle could see the person beneath and for a fleeting moment, she felt an understanding that had nothing to do with competition but a recognition of strength, struggle and the effort it took to keep shining.
Noelle found herself watching Jessica from afar, feeling a strange mix of admiration, envy and empathy. She envied her confidence, the way she could draw people in with a single glance but she also understood that there was more to her than the effortless charm everyone else saw.
Fiona often told Noelle about Jessica, mentioning how everyone fell under her spell, how even Han had been captivated. And yet, Fiona had also been the one to confide in Noelle that Jessica wasn't untouchable in every sense; that she had moments of fear, of loneliness and of doubt.
Noelle carried these thoughts with her quietly, alongside the ache of seeing Han drift further into Jessica's orbit. She couldn't blame him; Jessica was captivating, irresistible, a whirlwind of personality and beauty. But she could also see the human side behind the shine, the girl who had hurt, who had fled her home for a night or two and who had found small moments of trust and connection with people like Fiona and even her, Noelle.
It made the tension between them bittersweet. Noelle wanted attention, she wanted Han to notice her, but she couldn't bring herself to resent Jessica for it. She understood, in a small, quiet way, that Jessica was not a villain. She was just… complicated. Beautiful, magnetic, flawed, and real.
And in that understanding, Noelle found a small sense of peace. She could admire Jessica, feel pangs of jealousy, yet still hold on to her own sense of self. She didn't have to hate Jessica to feel invisible. She could be quietly strong, quietly present, quietly herself.
It was a breezy afternoon at school, the courtyard filled with the soft chatter of students and the occasional distant laughter of friends gathering after class. Noelle sat on a bench under a tree, her sketchbook open on her lap, though her pencil hadn't moved in the last few minutes. Her mind was tangled with thoughts of Han, Jessica, and the complicated swirl of feelings she had carried for months.
Fiona appeared beside her, leaning casually against the bench. "Hey," she said, tilting her head. "Mind if I sit?"
Noelle shook her head. "Sure… go ahead." Her voice was quiet, cautious.
Fiona hesitated for a moment before leaning in, her voice low and deliberate. "I found out something… about Jessica," she said, her eyes flicking around the room as though making sure no one else could overhear.
Noelle's stomach tightened. She tried to keep her voice even, though a spark of curiosity slipped into her tone. "What about her?"
Fiona sighed, pressing her lips into a thin line. "She's not looking to tie herself down. Not really. Not with anyone except Han. He's the one she keeps holding on to, the one she talks about like he's different. But that doesn't mean she's not going out with other guys. She has been. Different ones, here and there. I think she just… doesn't want to be alone."
"She really is complicated, isn't she?" Noelle whispered, almost to herself.
Fiona nodded, her gaze softening. "Yeah. Jessica isn't cruel. She's never unkind to the girls around her. She can be warm, funny, strong. But she's human, Noelle. And humans… sometimes they just can't stand being alone."
Noelle lowered her phone, the glow of the screen fading as she let it rest in her lap. Her eyes lingered on the shifting patterns of sunlight across the floor. She had always admired Jessica from afar, envied her brightness, even feared her effortless pull. But now, hearing that she had been seeing different guys while Han was away, something shifted inside Noelle. It wasn't satisfaction, nor the sharp sting of jealousy. It was perspective. Jessica wasn't untouchable. She wasn't flawless. She was only human… beautiful and complicated, yes, but with her own frailties, her own restless needs and longings.
The thought twisted uncomfortably in her chest. She had admired Jessica, envied her, even feared her dazzling pull. But the idea that Jessica could claim to care for Han and still spend her time with so many others was something Noelle could not fully understand. She kept quiet, her thoughts tangling into knots she dared not voice aloud.
Fiona leaned back with a troubled look, her voice softer now. "I don't know if I can condone it, honestly. She's my best friend, but… sometimes I wonder if she even realises how much she's playing with fire. How much she's risking."
Fiona gave a small smile. "Yeah. Ran away from home for a few nights after a fight with her mom, stayed with me… She's got her own struggles. But you can't use that as an excuse for seeking comfort."
Noelle nodded slowly, a quiet ache settling in her chest. She couldn't hate Jessica, not truly. She couldn't dismiss her brilliance or her kindness, even if Han was smitten with her. And yet, she couldn't ignore the pangs of longing that had settled deep in her heart.
Jessica might be captivating, complicated, and temporarily involved with someone else but Noelle could still carve out her own path. She could find strength in her quiet ways, confidence in her own talents and maybe someone who noticed her the way she wanted to be noticed.
For now, though, she would watch, she would learn and she would grow. And perhaps, in time, she would find that solace, support and affection didn't have to come from unrequited love. They could come from the people who truly valued her, in ways that mattered most.