I don't know the exact size of the floating island, but I could see from one end to the other with nothing blocking the view. About a dozen magic towers dotted the landscape, and two huge castles stood proudly at the north and south ends. During the day, the island glowed under sunlight that somehow made everything look more beautiful than anywhere else I'd ever been. The downside? It was ridiculously hot. Honestly, how do they manage to wear all those heavy clothes in this sweltering heat?
As for me… well, I ditched my uniform a long time ago. I wasn't about to roast alive. So there I was: underwear under my apron, broom in hand, throwing myself into my work just to survive.
It had only been one day since I was forced into this role, and already, Shahid Jey Zaviel—the old man who saved my life and dumped this awful job on me—had threatened to hand me over to "Hell-Head" at least ten times. I had no idea what the hell that was, but judging by the name alone, I never, ever wanted to find out.
Taking a small lunch break after cleaning the entire courtyard that morning, I plopped down on a platform and let my thoughts wander.
"Hell-Head… that's English, isn't it? Does that mean some English people made it to this world? But wait… homo sapiens… oh, of course, homo sapiens! The mere existence of that word… doesn't it already prove that someone else has discovered this world before me?"
Damn it. That also meant my chance to be the first discoverer was blown. I'd already been dreaming about returning to my world, filing a patent for this discovery… I could have been hailed as the Christopher Columbus of modern times. Every nation, hungry for resources—America, Russia, China—they would have been eating out of my hand. Damn it. Another golden opportunity gone.
"Haaaa," I sighed, taking a bite of my green vegetable soup.
And don't get me wrong—it tasted as bland as it looked. But like my grandmother used to say: "The married man complains about the cold. The bachelor just sleeps, that's all." Still, I wished there were at least some people in my situation.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAC
A wooden cane smashed down on my head, splitting the air—and my dignity—in two. Along with it, I got a little fart and some snot in the mix.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZ!!!" I screamed, clutching my skull and curling into a ball on the ground.
"Lazy little homo sapiens! Slacking off before finishing your work, huh?!" shouted Shahid Jey Zaviel.
"You old bastard! Can't you see I'm eating?! I've been cleaning all night and haven't had a single bite until now!"
"Oh really? That's nothing you were eating?"
"What? That traditional medicine? I could cook better than this with just mud! And it's my first meal since I arrived, so leave me the hell alone!" I shouted, full volume.
The old man paused. He scanned me from head to toe, considering everything I'd done since my arrival. Then, noticing how the courtyard gleamed like a thousand lights, he let out a tiny sigh.
"Fine. Once you're done, clean the toilets immediately. The students are complaining about the filth," he said, resuming his walk. "And hurry up. If you slack off, it'll fall on me, since I insisted on sparing your life."
With that, he vanished behind the tower where I was sitting. I took a deep breath, picked up my soup, and kept eating.
"Old bastard," I muttered under my breath.
Oh, dear readers, don't think that's an exaggeration. Everyone here is a bastard. If you think otherwise, you've clearly never spent a night cleaning a young wizard training ground.
Fantasy stories never show this side of the medal. No one ever wonders why the librarian in Barry Potter is so frustrated with the students. Well, let me tell you.
Imagine being a young wizard who just learned the Water Ball spell. And to master it, you need countless tries, right? How many liters of water do you think you'd spill before mastering that damn spell? And where do you think all that water goes?
Potholes. Everywhere. Dirty, probably toxic puddles. And since you're not just testing water, imagine the mess after twenty spoiled brats run wild.
And now, guess who gets stuck cleaning up after everyone? Bingo. Yours truly.
But the worst part? They could fix it with a single flick of their wands. They don't. Instead, little giggles from my noble employers and their students echoed around me. Boys didn't care—whatever—but girls… those little devils.
"Haaaa… whatever. Not worth dwelling on."
Still half-naked, underwear under my apron, I grabbed my bucket, filled it at the tap, picked up my broom, and prepared to start my grueling task.
"I just need to focus on my plan… escape by next month. That's what I heard."
Indeed, when I arrived, I overheard the old professors talking about the well that brought me here. If what I heard is true, that well could send me home in a month. My only chance to escape this hell—or else, I'd die a virgin.
I crossed one of the three courtyards, then climbed a long, majestic staircase into a tower. The massive doors swung open by themselves, and I stepped inside… into the tower reserved for general classes.
Unlike the other towers, this one was only used for general lessons. Full of classrooms—but I couldn't attend or even peek inside. All the toilets were downstairs. My shame as an isekai protagonist reached new heights.
"Alright… let's get to work."
I entered a long hallway to the left. The men's toilets were on the far right; the women's on the far left. Doors at each end, like some spirit designed them to punish perverts.
I opened the men's toilet door—and my nostrils nearly gave up. The stench was inhuman. I slammed the door immediately.
"Holy shit!!!!"
Alright, I know it's not roses coming out of that hole, but damn… what the hell are these kids eating? How can humans produce an odor like this? It's inhuman. Cleaning this is not cleaning—it's exorcising a demon. The demon of shit, damn it.
"Damn it… do I go in and die, or don't go in and die? And this is supposed to be another world? Screw this!!!" I screamed, taking a deep breath and charging the door with my shoulder.
Five minutes later, after a racket that sounded like a dwarf fighting a ten-year-old, I stumbled out, gulping fresh air like my life depended on it.
SNIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF MOUAAAAAH
Eyes bloodshot, nostrils destroyed, I had never smelled anything like it. No human should ever defecate like that. But men's toilets… always filthy. That hadn't changed in any world. This time, I almost paid the ultimate price. Still, I finished the worst part, and now it shone from my furious scrubbing.
Even brick toilets can only shine so much.
I grabbed my bucket and ran from this nightmare that nearly killed my sense of smell. On the way, I crossed paths with a young girl coming from the opposite end.
She was cute… almost doll-like. Oversized witch robes, golden curls framing her youthful beauty… a little bomb in the making.
She nodded politely as we passed. And, admittedly, I couldn't help but sneak a glance at her backside under that wide robe. Just to make sure.
She walked away, her tiny butt wiggling gently under her cape until the door at the far end. She stopped, opened it, entered, and closed it behind her.
I double-checked the sign on the door next to me—man. Then it hit me: I had just exorcised the girls' toilet.
Her wiggling little backside replayed in my mind. And I wondered:
"What… could she possibly be dropping in there?"
And as I wondered if all the girls in this world released demons, a thought struck me.
"Wait… since when does a medieval world have taps?"
A question with no answer, a beautiful realization, and the scent of change in the air. I knew I was onto something.
To be continued…
(Starting from this chapter, new chapters are released every Tuesday and Friday.)