The Unicorn's tires screeched as it sped down the highway, the glow of the burning lab fading into the night behind them. Harley drove with one hand on the wheel, glancing back at Pamela, who sat in the back seat.
"Pamela," Harley said, turning just enough to catch her reflection in the rearview mirror. "Now you finally got your revenge. You did what most villains can't do their whole lives—you killed the bastard who made you mutate. Are you excited? Are you happy?"
Pamela's lips curved faintly as she looked out the window at the passing blur of Gotham's outskirts. "Statistically speaking, Batman should've shown up to stop me," she said, her tone calm but cutting. "But he had no idea what we were up to this whole time. He's a fool. Anyone who lets Batman or anyone else stop their crimes is a completely incompetent criminal."
Barbara, sitting in the passenger seat, sighed softly. "You're right, Pamela. My father tries his best to stop criminals, but now that I'm a criminal mastermind myself, running Midnight Mayhem with you, I can stay a few steps ahead. Thanks to the inside info I get from the police, they have no idea we even exist."
Harley let out a sharp laugh, tapping her fingers against the wheel. "Your dad's police force is probably the most incompetent in the whole country."
"Don't even remind me," Barbara muttered, brushing her hair back. "I might have to assign some of our henchmen to protect him. If some psycho kills my dad, we lose our monopoly over police intel completely."
Pamela's gaze sharpened. "Wait—you're telling me if something happens to your father, all your influence inside the force disappears?"
Barbara nodded. "Yeah. He's the commissioner, not the mayor or the governor."
Pamela leaned forward, eyes gleaming in the dim car light. "Then why not fix that? Have your father run for mayor—then governor. Maybe even president someday. He's loved by the public and has years of crime-fighting fame. Once he's in office, you'll have access to everything—law enforcement, intelligence, security networks. A pouty face or two and he will hand you every classified file you want. He always did when you got kidnapped before. Not that you do anymore."
Barbara's mouth twitched into a teasing grin. "Yeah, the last people who tried to kidnap me are feeding our tank of sharks with lasers on their heads."
Harley raised a brow. "Oh, so that's what all that screaming was the other day."
Barbara smirked faintly. "A couple of goons from Two-Face's gang tried to snatch me. I had Kira Strix lead a squad to beat them up and feed them to the sharks."
Pamela crossed her arms, an approving tone in her voice. "You made sure the sharks have lasers on their heads, right?"
Barbara turned, pretending to look offended. "What kind of amateur villain do you think I am? Of course they do. They've even got lasers on their fins."
Harley nodded seriously, her pigtails bouncing as she drove. "Good. Any self-respecting sea creature should have a laser somewhere on its body. Lasers work wonders even underwater."
Barbara chuckled. "You'd love this. Last time I fed people to the sharks, I bloodied up the water first. While attaching the lasers, the blood drove them into a frenzy. I tossed a few of the kidnappers in, and one shark fired its laser—splitting a guy clean in half from the head to his crotch. It was gory as hell. Luckily, the heat sealed him up instantly, so no guts spilled out."
Pamela and Harley both made identical faces of disgust. "Eww."
Harley scratched her head with one gloved finger. "I need to come up with some creative ways to kill my enemies. Maybe clown-themed warfare or something."
Pamela's tone softened into playful suggestion. "Just feed them to your growing army of monkeys. Nothing is scarier than man-eating cannibal monkeys."
Harley's eyes widened with delight as the corners of her lips lifted. "Not a bad idea, Pam. Not bad at all."
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