My mood was rather off for a couple of weeks after that Druid past life revelation. And I tried not to dwell on it.
But that someone over the sea popped a message
Sayang, are you okay?"
We hadn't chatted much lately—just quick "good morning" or "goodnight" texts. He'd been busy, he'd recently gotten special pass to travel across the mainland. Since the pandemic started, it's first chance he was allowed venturing outside. So most of his time spent on roads—driving.
I could've replied with a perfunctory answer "yes" but I didn't feel like giving such a response.
Babe, do you like me?"
I rarely asked him this. Maybe because deep down, I feared the answer—or maybe I already knew.
This time, my phone blinking, a video call coming.
Kaelen face showed up, his face stern.
"No. I don't."
His voice was steady, direct.
I blinked. My heart paused—just a second too long.
Then he smiled. That quiet, disarming smile. And winked.
"I don't just like you, sayang. I love you."
I rolled my eyes inside my head. Cheesy, I thought. But my face had other plans—my lips were curling up before I could stop them, and I could feel my cheeks flush warm.
"What's the reason?" I pressed, trying to keep a straight tone.
He pointed at his chest.
"Here's the reason," he said, without hesitation. "You're passionate."
I could see that he sensed something off.
"What is it, sayang?" he asked, his voice warm through the phone.
I hesitated, but the words pushed through. "Would you believe me if I said… this might not be the first time we met? That maybe… we've known each other in a past life?"
He was quiet—like digesting my words—his eyes warm with indulgence.
"Of course I believe you," he answered. Slow. Steady. Calm.
"Why shouldn't I?"
He smiled. That soft, familiar smile I'd grown to love.
"What happened?" he asked gently.
"I think I saw our past life." Yes. I decided to tell him that. "We met each other before—in our past life."
I saw his curiosity on the screen.
"I think I know why we met again —in this life."
"What do you see, sayang?" He was calm, but his eyes showed how serious he was taking this.
"It was you," I said softly. "You're the one who makes all this happen."
He tilted his head on the screen, eyes narrowing just slightly, curious. "What did I do?"
"You told me, made a promise," I whispered. "A long time ago. And I think that promise... it set everything in motion. The memories, the visions—they all came rushing back after I met you. Like something deep inside me flipped open. But it's not just memory. It's the feeling. That certainty whispering, this isn't wrong. This was always meant to be."
He didn't speak right away. Just looked at me—the way he always does. Doesn't he know that I really like the way he looks at me? I questioned myself.
"So, you mean that this is all my fault?" He's squinting.
"Of course these are all your fault." Too bad I couldn't wink like him. I pouted instead.
"Yes, darling.... Sure it's all my fault. Forgive me, okay?"
The little heart tickling banter might sound a bit creepy, I admit, but it filled my heart.
Until he asked me to tell more about our first encounter in past life.
"Then what else happened?"
I knew exactly what he meant. He was asking for a complete story.
I stared at the screen for a while before replying.
"But you should know... it wasn't a happy ending."
He responded quickly.
"I didn't expect it to be."
Another pause.
"Tell me anyway"
And I tell him everything I saw in the vision. He listened, I think this was the longest video call we had made during the pandemic. Thank God it's the weekend, and fortunately I'm in my room.
I told him everything, not just the story that Druid past life, but how I felt when I saw it. Sharing this with him made my heart feel gradually lighter.
"I knew my end in that life. The end of that segment of my journey. Believe me, when you're born like this, you doubt everything. You feel too much. See too much. And yet the hardest part is convincing yourself it wasn't all in your head." I paused, inhaled. Then continue.
"Even after you learn to handle it… it still feels heavy. Stifling. For me, every past life memory so far starts from the end. From my death. I've gotten used to it, in a way. But I still don't know how to explain it to others. But with us—our past life—it hurt my heart more to see you sad. Seeing your forlorn face in that temple after my death."
"Sayang, it's so sweet!' he said. I was so surprised that my response was to think: 'Man! Is this his response?'
He probably sense something from my face reaction. And continuing.
"I was never wrong when I said I love you."
"But my heart really in pain seeing you like that". Omg. Why my voice sounded so whining.
"I'm sorry sayang. It really is so sweet. Even now, you look so cute like that."
I really want to bite him. Too bad he's so far away.