Five minutes became seven.
Not because anyone pushed him, not because anyone demanded he hurry up, but because Soren's body simply… wouldn't cooperate until the tension in his chest stopped feeling like it might crack bone.
He stayed leaned back in the chair with his gaze unfocused, breathing slow, deliberate, counting the rise and fall until the air finally started to feel like it belonged to him again.
Nobody tried to fill the silence with panic this time.
Louise kept her hand loosely over his, warm and steady, like she was holding him in place without making it a thing.
Olivia poured water into a clean cup and slid it closer with quiet care, her movements small and careful, as if any sudden motion might knock him over again.
Alex didn't speak, but the rigid line of his shoulders eased a fraction, just enough that he no longer looked like he was braced for someone to lunge across the table.
Felix stared down at his cup like it had personally betrayed him.
Esper… kept opening her mouth and then shutting it again, her own words hovering on the edge of her tongue like a weapon she wasn't sure she could safely put down.
Amelia watched him, not in that distant, cold way she had had over the last week, but in the close, alert way she always did, the way that said she was present and ready, even if she didn't know what "ready" was supposed to mean right now.
Lilliana sat with her hands folded.
Her ears drooped slightly, then twitched, her gaze flicking between Soren's face and the table like she was checking, again and again, that he was still there.
Soren hated that his breakdown had made them look like this.
And at the same time…
It hit him, sudden and sharp, like a blade of clarity sliding between ribs.
They were still here.
No one had stood up and left.
No one was making excuses, no one was avoiding his eyes, no one was pretending they had somewhere else to be.
They were just… waiting with him.
That was all he had wanted.
Not solutions, not perfect apologies, not some grand speech that fixed everything in one night.
Just this.
The proof that he hadn't broken the last few things he cared about.
A swallow dragged down his throat.
He leaned forward at last, the motion careful, like his body still expected pain.
His hands moved before his brain could interfere, reaching for the water Olivia had placed near him.
He drank.
Cold, clean, grounding.
The cup clicked softly when he set it down.
"…Okay," he murmured.
Louise's expression brightened as if she had been holding her breath this whole time.
"Okay?" she repeated, cautious and hopeful in the same breath.
"Okay," Soren said again, louder this time, and it came out less like surrender, more like a decision.
His throat felt dry anyway, so he cleared it and forced his voice into something steadier.
"Right," he announced, tone dry, as if he was warning them about something dangerous. "I'm going to stand up now."
A tiny laugh escaped Esper, still shaky, but real.
"You're acting like that's a heroic feat."
"It is," Soren replied instantly.
Louise nodded with absolute seriousness.
"Brave."
He shot her a look.
"Stop encouraging it."
"No," Louise said, still dead serious, like she was delivering sacred wisdom. "Be proud."
A twitch tugged at the corner of Soren's mouth despite himself.
Then he stood.
No hesitation this time, because he knew if he gave himself room to hesitate, his thoughts would crawl back in and start biting again.
He moved toward the shelves and reached up, pulling the "strategically placed" bottles down one by one, setting them in the middle of the table like he was laying out weapons.
Esper's eyes tracked every movement like a predator.
Felix's gaze sharpened too, instantly more awake, more alive.
Soren saw it.
He pointed at both of them.
"Rule update," he said.
Esper's smile flickered into something closer to her normal grin, even if it didn't quite reach her eyes yet.
"Rule update? Wow, Hubby, you're really taking leadership seriously."
His eyes narrowed.
"Don't call me that."
Her lips twitched.
"…Sorry."
A finger lifted immediately.
"No apologies."
Esper froze, then grimaced like she had been smacked.
"…Right. Okay. I'm sor—I mean—"
A short snort came from Felix.
Esper whipped her glare at him.
"Shut up."
Soren clapped his hands once, softer than before, just enough to pull the room back into focus.
"Rule update," he repeated, calm and firm. "Nobody chugs. Nobody challenges anyone to chug. Nobody even says the word 'chug.'"
Esper's face fell into pure offence.
"That's oppression."
"It's necessary," Soren corrected.
Felix lifted a hand like he was in class.
"What about me?"
"What about you?" Soren asked, unimpressed.
Felix frowned.
"I'm not even the worst one."
Esper gasped as if he had stabbed her.
"I'm right here!"
Without looking away from Esper, Soren pointed at Felix.
"You're second."
Felix's mouth opened.
Then shut.
"…That's fair," he muttered, like it physically pained him to admit it.
Soren kept going, because if he stopped, someone would try to negotiate and he would lose the only thread of control he had left.
"One drink, then water. Repeat. If anyone argues, I will personally replace your alcohol with fruit juice."
Esper's eyes widened in horror.
"You wouldn't."
"I would," Soren said flatly. "I have nothing to lose anymore."
Louise leaned forward, delighted.
"Fruit juice is nice."
Esper stared at her.
"You're not helping."
Louise blinked, innocence turned into a weapon.
"But it's true."
Olivia cleared her throat softly, relief slipping into her voice as if she had been waiting for someone to take the wheel.
"…That seems reasonable."
Alex nodded once.
"Agreed."
Amelia didn't say anything, but she reached for a cup with the calm acceptance of someone who didn't care what was inside as long as the room stayed steady.
Lilliana's ears twitched in approval, and her shoulders loosened by the smallest amount.
"Ren being responsible is… a rare sight," she murmured.
Soren shot her a look.
"What do you mean 'rare'?"
Felix's voice cut in, immediate and merciless.
"Didn't you nearly die in a duel because you decided to taunt someone stronger than you?"
"That's unrelated," Soren said without missing a beat.
Felix scoffed.
"That's literally the definition of related."
He ignored him and grabbed a bottle, because if he started arguing with Felix, the conversation would spiral into the usual, and the usual was comforting but also dangerous right now.
"Alright," Soren said, forcing his tone into something closer to hosting. "What does everyone want?"
Esper leaned forward instantly.
"Whatever gets me wasted fastest."
Soren stared at her.
Esper stared back.
Her shoulders sagged, and she recovered with suspicious speed.
"…After food," she amended quickly. "And after water. And after being mature."
Soren nodded as if he had expected nothing less.
"That's what I thought."
He started pouring.
Not too much.
A controlled amount, measured like he was handling something volatile.
Louise accepted her drink with bright eyes and held it with both hands like it was precious.
Olivia took hers carefully, like she was worried spilling it would somehow ruin the entire night.
Alex accepted his without comment.
Felix took his cup and sniffed it like it was poison.
"What is this?"
"It's wine," Soren replied.
Felix narrowed his eyes.
"Why does it smell expensive?"
"Because it is," Soren said flatly.
Felix's jaw clenched.
"Fucking rich kid."
Louise's eyes widened, instantly offended on Soren's behalf.
"Don't be rude to my little brother."
Felix turned to her, genuinely baffled.
"Why are you calling him that like it's normal? You aren't even siblings."
Louise's gaze sharpened, a sweetness with teeth.
"Because he is."
A smile crept onto Soren's face; he cleared his throat loudly.
"Moving on."
Lilliana was last.
When he handed her the cup, she accepted it with both hands, hesitant, not because of the drink, but because of what the moment represented.
Soren didn't comment.
He just poured her a glass of water too and placed it beside her like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Her eyes flicked to it.
Her ears twitched.
"…Thank you."
A single nod was all he gave, because if he tried to say anything more gentle than that, his throat might betray him again.
Then Soren lifted his own cup.
Almost instinctively, everyone's eyes drifted toward him.
He stared back at them for a heartbeat too long.
Before he could overthink it, the word came out.
"Toast."
Esper blinked.
"A toast?"
Louise straightened immediately, like someone had announced a festival.
"Yes! A toast!"
Soren sighed, already regretting it.
"Not a serious toast," he added quickly. "Just… a normal one."
Olivia's smile was faint, but real.
"What's a normal toast?"
He hesitated, searching for something that didn't sound pathetic, and then exhaled, letting the truth slip through anyway.
"To… not disappearing," Soren said, quieter than he meant to.
The room went still, but not the suffocating kind.
This stillness felt warm, real.
Louise lifted her cup first, eyes soft.
"To not disappearing," she echoed gently.
Olivia followed.
Lilliana too, ears twitching like the words had physically touched her.
Amelia raised hers without hesitation.
Alex's cup lifted in a small, restrained motion.
Felix paused, jaw tight.
Then, with stiff inevitability, he raised his too.
Esper raised hers last, eyes shining a little too much.
"To not disappearing," she repeated, voice thin.
Soren swallowed, throat tight, and forced a small smile.
"…Cheers."
They drank.
Not much, just enough that the room finally, officially, became a party.
And weirdly, it helped.
Not because alcohol fixed anything, because it didn't.
It couldn't.
But the act was familiar.
A shared motion.
A shared moment that didn't require perfect words.
Soren set his cup down and exhaled.
"Okay," he said, voice settling into dry again, safer that way. "Now eat. Please. I'm not letting my food get disrespected."
Louise's eyes lit up instantly.
"Yes!"
She grabbed a pastry like she'd been waiting for permission.
Esper followed with more confidence this time, taking something at random and biting into it like she was proving she could be normal.
Felix picked something up too, chewed, then—
His expression shifted.
Soren noticed, tried not to stare, but failed anyway, because Felix's brows furrowed like he was deeply offended by the concept of enjoyment.
"…This is good," Felix muttered.
Soren blinked.
"What?"
Felix glared at him.
"It's good. That's what I said."
A grin threatened to show itself.
"You're acting like that's painful."
"It is," Felix snapped. "If I compliment you, the world might end."
Esper nearly choked.
Louise giggled.
Olivia smiled properly now, eyes crinkling, the tension on her face easing like she had been waiting for a reason to let it go.
Even Lilliana's lips curved into something small and tentative, her ears lifting slightly before drooping again as if she didn't trust the softness.
Soren felt something loosen in his chest.
Not fixed.
But… better.
He leaned forward, elbow on the table, letting his posture slip into something closer to normal.
"Wow," he said dryly. "Thanks. I'll engrave it into stone."
Felix scowled.
"Don't get cocky, little hedgehog."
Soren paused.
Then smiled, an actual one.
"Wow," he murmured, softer. "Haven't heard that one in a while."
Felix blinked.
"What?"
"Nothing."
Esper's gaze flicked between them like she was watching something fragile and precious, and then, because she was Esper, she immediately took a running start and kicked the softness in the shin.
"So, if we're being normal again, can I bully him?"
"No."
Esper pouted.
"That's oppression."
"It's necessary," Soren repeated.
A tiny laugh slipped out of Lilliana, and she immediately looked startled, as if she hadn't expected her body to remember how to do it.
Soren saw it.
He didn't comment.
He just let his gaze soften, like he was silently telling her it was allowed.
Louise suddenly remembered the dessert box and dragged it onto the table like it was a priceless artefact.
"Wait," she said, eyes bright. "We need to eat this."
Soren eyed the box warily.
"What did you bring?"
Louise smiled smugly.
"A cake."
Esper leaned forward, instantly hooked.
"What kind?"
Louise straightened like she was announcing royal lineage.
"Fox cake."
Soren froze.
Olivia blinked.
Lilliana's ears twitched.
Felix frowned.
Alex's mouth twitched too, faintly, like he was losing a battle against amusement.
Soren stared at Louise.
"…One with a bow?"
Louise nodded proudly.
"With a bow."
Fingers pressed to his forehead.
"You actually brought one?"
"Yes," Louise said, offended by the doubt. "Why wouldn't I?"
Esper's voice turned reverent.
"Can I see?"
Louise opened the box.
Inside sat a small cake, neatly frosted, shaped with deliberate care, and yes, there was a tiny bow made of something that looked suspiciously expensive.
Esper made a sound like she had been stabbed through the heart.
"Oh my god."
"It's cute," Louise whispered, eyes shining.
Soren stared at it, and without meaning to, felt his face soften.
"…It's cute," he admitted quietly.
Louise's gaze snapped to him, then her grin widened.
"Say it again."
"No."
Louise pouted.
Esper leaned closer to Soren, a grin finally beginning to resemble her real one.
"He said it's cute," she repeated gleefully. "Aww, Hubby's gone soft—"
Soren's eyes narrowed.
Esper froze.
"…Cutie," she corrected instantly.
Soren nodded once, satisfied.
"Good."
Felix scoffed, but there was less bite to it now.
"You're all insane."
Louise cut the cake with the seriousness of a surgeon, handing out slices neatly and making sure the bow piece went to herself.
She placed it on her plate like it was sacred.
Lilliana took a bite; her ears twitched, eyes widening slightly.
"This is… really good."
Louise looked pleased, like the universe had confirmed what she already knew.
"Of course it is."
Olivia tasted hers and smiled softly.
"It's sweet, but not too heavy…"
Esper took a bite and immediately looked like she might cry.
"This is the best thing I've ever eaten."
Felix ate his in silence, then muttered after a second, like it cost him actual money.
"…It's decent."
Soren looked at him.
Felix glared back.
"What?"
"That's basically a love confession coming from you," Soren said.
"Eat your cake," Felix snapped.
Soren did.
And yeah, it was good.
He wasn't sure if it was the sugar or the atmosphere, but something in his chest felt lighter, like a knot had loosened just enough to let him breathe.
They kept eating.
They kept talking.
Not perfectly, there were pauses, hesitations, moments where someone's gaze dropped too quickly, but every time awkwardness tried to crawl back into the cracks, someone filled it, not with forced brightness, but with something real.
Louise told another story about Shirone, animated and proud.
Olivia offered a small comment about a class assignment and looked surprised when Esper actually responded normally instead of turning it into a joke.
Esper complained about her father "grilling" her again, Felix scoffed, and the two of them fell into a bickering rhythm that sounded closer to their usual, like their mouths remembered how to do this even if their chests were still catching up.
Lilliana added quiet remarks here and there.
Her ears twitched whenever someone looked at her directly, but she didn't shrink the way she had earlier, and every so often the corners of her mouth would lift in something small, like she was letting herself borrow normal for a second.
Amelia didn't speak much, but she started eating properly.
And Soren noticed something else.
She stopped sitting like she was on trial.
Her shoulders lowered.
Her gaze stopped darting away.
She still watched him, but in the way she always had, steady, close, present, instead of that strange distance that had haunted the last week.
He kept drinking too, slowly, water in between like he had demanded, because he refused to let this become another disaster he had to clean up later.
But alcohol still did what alcohol did.
It loosened him.
Not in the chaotic, sloppy way the bar had, not in the way that made everything spill out and burn, but in the quieter way, like it dulled the teeth of his thoughts, like it let him speak before he tore each sentence apart in his head.
At some point, Esper stood up and drifted toward the shelves.
Soren's eyes snapped up instantly.
Esper froze mid-step like she had been caught stealing.
"…I was just looking," she said quickly.
He stared at her.
She stared back.
Then she grimaced, because lying had never been her strong suit when she didn't want it to be.
"…Okay, I was going to steal a bottle."
A sigh left Soren.
"I respect the honesty."
Esper blinked.
"You do?"
"No," Soren corrected. "Sit down."
Esper sat down.
Felix snorted.
"Pathetic."
Esper shot him a glare.
"Shut up."
Soren watched them bicker for a moment, the sound of it settling into the room like something familiar, and before he could stop himself, the words slipped out.
"…I missed this."
Quiet.
Soft.
But the room heard it anyway.
Everything paused.
Soren blinked, realising he had said it out loud, and heat crawled up his cheeks.
"…Not— not the stealing," he added quickly, because of course his mouth couldn't just behave. "Just… you guys."
Esper's eyes widened.
Olivia's expression softened instantly.
Lilliana's ears lifted, then drooped again like she didn't know whether to look happy or guilty.
Felix looked down.
Amelia's gaze sharpened, attentive.
Louise smiled, warm and bright, like she had been waiting for him to say it.
The alcohol made it harder to shove the words back down where he usually kept them, so he didn't try.
"I mean it," Soren said, voice rougher. "Even when it was awkward, even when it sucked. I still… missed you."
A quiet laugh left him, but there wasn't much humour in it.
"It's stupid."
Louise shook her head, simple and certain.
"It's not stupid."
Embarrassment tightened his chest, so he looked away, then forced himself to look back up because he had asked for honesty and he wasn't going to be a hypocrite about it.
"I don't blame any of you," Soren said quietly. "I know you didn't… choose it."
Esper's throat bobbed.
Felix's jaw clenched.
He kept going, softer now.
"But I'm not made of stone either, so… if I looked weird this week, or if I was—" a hesitation, then a rough shrug, "—if I was desperate today, it's because I didn't want to lose this."
A single tap of his fingers against the cup.
"I don't have a lot of things I care about," he added, voice dropping, almost like it slipped out by accident. "So when something threatens the few I do… I get kind of pathetic."
"No."
Amelia's voice cut through the room, blunt and steady.
Soren blinked.
She looked him straight in the eyes, unwavering.
"You are not pathetic."
The words landed heavy.
Esper made a tiny sound like she had been punched in the heart.
Olivia nodded gently.
"It's not pathetic," she said softly. "It just means we matter to you."
His throat tightened.
He looked down quickly, annoyed at himself.
"…Yeah, unfortunately."
Louise reached over and pinched his cheek again.
Soren flinched.
"Stop that," he protested, but there wasn't any real bite in it.
Louise smiled sweetly.
"Confirming."
He slapped her hand away weakly.
Felix scoffed under his breath.
"This is disgusting."
Esper's head snapped toward him.
"You're just jealous you don't have anyone pinching your cheeks."
Felix's face twisted in horror.
"Keep your hands away from me."
Esper laughed, an actual laugh this time, bright and real, and for the first time tonight, it sounded like it truly belonged in the room.
Something in Soren's chest loosened again.
Not healed.
Not fixed.
But warm.
He lifted his cup slightly, half a gesture, half a shrug.
"…Thanks for coming. All of you."
No one rushed to answer.
They didn't need to.
Because for once, silence wasn't heavy.
It was comfortable.
Then Louise clapped her hands once like she had decided seriousness had lasted long enough.
"Okay," she announced brightly, "now that my little brother has been emotional, someone needs to do something stupid again."
Soren groaned.
"Please don't."
Louise's eyes sparkled.
"Oh, I will."
Esper leaned forward eagerly.
"Yes! Tell us something!"
Felix sighed like his soul was leaving his body.
Alex's mouth twitched.
Olivia covered her mouth with a smile.
Lilliana's ears perked, her expression soft.
Soren leaned back in his chair and looked around the table, at all of them, still here, still present, and for the first time in what felt like ages, he let himself relax into the warmth of the room.
Just a little.
————「❤︎」————