'Why the hell did I agree to this?'
Less than an hour ago, Soren had been genuinely ready to strangle the man sitting across from him, fingers twitching with the kind of violence that came far too easily when he was tired, humiliated, and forced to endure someone else's mouth.
And yet, here he was now, sitting in the academy cafeteria, eating lunch with him like this was normal, like his life hadn't already swerved off the road into absurdity.
"Hahhh…"
He let the breath out without meaning to, his shoulders sinking as if his body could physically express what his words refused to give.
Across the table, Felix watched him with a grin that was too bright and too amused for someone who had just made him look pathetic in front of a professor and a room full of first-years.
"What's wrong, little hedgehog?" Felix asked, leaning his cheek into his palm as if he was enjoying a leisurely chat with a friend.
"Just… shut up, trash."
Felix's grin widened, as though Soren had offered him a compliment.
"Is that what you're going with?"
"Why? Don't like it? I think it fits a pervert like you perfectly."
Soren jabbed his fork at his food like it was Felix's face, keeping his voice low even as irritation pricked under his skin.
"Me?" Felix touched his chest in mock offence, eyes wide with theatrical disbelief, "A pervert?"
Soren paused, stared, and then felt his eyelid twitch.
"...Are you being serious?"
Felix scratched his cheek, feigning innocence so badly it should have been a crime.
Soren held the stare, blank and unimpressed, letting the silence stretch until it became uncomfortable on purpose.
'Being around this guy will ruin what's left of my image. I need to be careful.'
The thought came with a bitter edge, because it wasn't even a joke; it was a practical concern.
He sighed inwardly, the air in his chest feeling heavier than it should have for something as stupid as lunch.
'Actually, speaking of my image…'
His gaze shifted without him wanting it to, sliding past Felix, past the table, and into the wider cafeteria.
It was subtle at first, the feeling of attention, but once he noticed it, he couldn't un-notice it, like an itch that spread the more you tried not to scratch, eyes catching on him from different directions, stopping and staying, too long to be casual.
Soren frowned, his appetite dulling.
"Why is everyone staring so hard today?"
Normally, the occasional glare was nothing new.
He had already accepted that being a Class F nobody came with its own flavour of contempt, and whatever the original Soren had done had put a target on his back, but today felt different, sharper, as if the room had decided he was interesting for the first time and didn't know what to do with that fact.
He didn't even need long to figure out why.
The man sitting right across from him.
Human trash.
Womaniser.
Scum.
Even though the academic year had barely begun, Felix had already collected a mountain of rumours like trophies, all of them revolving around the same pattern: charm a girl, chase a girl, play with her, discard her, move on, and somehow still walk around with that carefree smile like he hadn't left a trail of bruised hearts behind him.
Soren's jaw tightened.
"…I knew having lunch with human trash was a mistake. Should I just leave?"
"You're being too harsh…" Felix said, lips pushing into a pout that looked practised, like he had used it as a weapon before.
Soren recoiled so hard his chair almost scraped, disgust sparking fast.
"Cut that out."
Felix only chuckled, like Soren's reaction was half the point.
"You know," he said, voice dropping into that irritatingly casual tone he used when he thought he was being clever, "doesn't it make sense that people are staring?"
"Not really?" Soren replied, genuinely confused despite himself.
Felix blinked at him, and the disbelief on his face looked real for once, as if he had expected sarcasm and ran into something worse, sincerity.
"Well, you might not have heard, but Annie told me—"
Soren cut him off immediately, the name hitting his ear like a pebble thrown at glass.
"Wait a second. Who's Annie?"
Felix's expression stayed smug, like he had been waiting for that.
"The girl I was with the other day," he replied, as if that explained everything.
Soren stared at him, then felt something in him go cold and flat.
"...You're disgusting."
He didn't say it loudly; he didn't need to, the contempt did the work for him.
Felix ignored the glare with the ease of someone immune to shame and continued anyway, as though Soren's opinion was just background noise.
"Anyway," he said, picking up his drink, "she mentioned that at her tea party, the girls were talking about us guys."
"And what does that have to do with me?" Soren asked, impatience sharpening his words.
Felix grinned.
"Apparently, our names came up quite a bit. You should be flattered."
Soren blinked.
"...And why exactly should I be flattered?"
Felix stared at him as if he had just watched someone fail the simplest question on an exam.
"Are you being serious right now?"
"Yes?" Soren said, and then, because Felix looked so offended by his ignorance, he added, slower, "Yes."
Felix exhaled deeply, rubbing his temples as if Soren had personally gifted him a headache.
"Okay, Soren, think for a second. What do girls talk about when they're at a tea party, and the topic of guys comes up?" he asked, voice adopting the kind of patronising patience reserved for children and idiots.
"Uh…" Soren's mind stalled, because his immediate thought was nothing useful, and his second thought was that he didn't know enough about tea parties to have a third.
Felix waited, eyes narrowing, leaning forward like he was watching an animal struggle with a puzzle.
Then, with visible exasperation, he hissed.
"It's obviously about who they're interested in. Are you stupid?"
Soren blinked again, the words landing late.
"Oh. …Oh? Huh?"
His hand lifted without thinking, finger pointing at his own chest like he needed a physical anchor to confirm what he had heard.
"You mean me?"
Felix nodded once, emphatic.
Soren's brain stalled harder.
"But why?"
Felix didn't answer immediately; he just stared at Soren for a long, stretched second, as if he was looking for the punchline and realising there wasn't one.
"I don't exactly have a hobby of complimenting guys, so I'll just ask… When was the last time you looked in a mirror?"
"Uh…"
Soren rubbed the back of his neck, eyes drifting to the side as he trawled through his memories, and found, with a quiet jolt, that there was nothing there, no moment of curiosity, no moment of vanity, not even the basic act of checking whether his hair was out of place.
"...Never," he said after a moment, the admission leaving his mouth like a confession he hadn't prepared to make.
Felix froze.
"You're joking, right?"
Soren shook his head, feeling a faint, creeping embarrassment crawl up his spine.
Felix sighed dramatically, lifting his gaze to the ceiling like he was praying for patience.
"I want to believe that isn't true, but that face says it all. Seriously, what is wrong with you…"
Soren didn't have an answer, because the truth was, he didn't know, and that was the problem.
"Just…" Felix waved a hand as if brushing the conversation aside, "go look when you get the chance. You'll get it."
Soren didn't reply; he just nodded slowly, shame and confusion mixing in a way that made him feel strangely hollow.
'Has it really been a week since I got here, and I haven't looked at myself once?'
He frowned.
'That's… actually kind of depressing.'
"But still, if I really look that good, then why does everyone avoid me?" he muttered, unwilling to let Felix feel like he had won.
Felix shrugged, careless again.
"Why would I know?"
'Right. Expecting introspection from this guy was a mistake.'
Soren's fingers tightened around his fork, then loosened, because holding onto irritation all day was exhausting, and he had already done enough of that.
"Well, whatever," he said, pushing his chair back, "I'm going."
Felix lifted his cup in a lazy, mocking farewell, as if Soren leaving was just part of the entertainment.
Soren walked away without looking back, ignoring the way a few heads turned to follow him, the way the staring seemed to sharpen the moment he stood up, as if his movement confirmed something they had been waiting to see.
————「❤︎」————